Arrived safely for the first leg of our journey to New Zealand. We are In Japan, Shiga Kogen to be precise. It’s a ski resort just outside Nagano, the site of the 1998 winter olympics. First impressions of Japan are that it’s totally weird!! Pink strawberry and yellow Lemon kit kats, beer vending machines and odd buttons on the toilet that make a flushing sound but don’t actually flush. Took us 25 hours door to door to get here including a brief stop over and change of plane in Munich. I would’ve liked to explore the awesome airport there but we were delayed on the runway at Heathrow so only just made our connection in Munich. The airport had a full on sex shop with 2 foot dildos in the window and everything! Those crazy Germans. I was a little worried that our luggage would get lost due to the quick change with our connecting flight but I’ll give it to those sexually liberated krauts, they are super efficient. Humourless robots, but efficient.
The flight into Tokyo was uneventful except they had someh
ow put us on a smaller plane and the legroom was rubbish. I tried to sleep but found it difficult with my knees under my chin. Got all our luggage at Tokyo and headed to the train into the city. Once there we waited patiently for our bullet train to Nagano and at exactly 1404 we left Tokyo. We raced along on the bullet train on its way to Nagano at 200 mph, passing an active volcano at Kairugama. The bus from Nagano 
took a further hour to get to Shiga Kogen and our sub resort of Hasiuke. The hotel isn’t much but it’s at the bottom of the ski runs so we don’t have to walk very far.
The flight into Tokyo was uneventful except they had someh
ow put us on a smaller plane and the legroom was rubbish. I tried to sleep but found it difficult with my knees under my chin. Got all our luggage at Tokyo and headed to the train into the city. Once there we waited patiently for our bullet train to Nagano and at exactly 1404 we left Tokyo. We raced along on the bullet train on its way to Nagano at 200 mph, passing an active volcano at Kairugama. The bus from Nagano 
took a further hour to get to Shiga Kogen and our sub resort of Hasiuke. The hotel isn’t much but it’s at the bottom of the ski runs so we don’t have to walk very far. We dumped our gear and headed down for dinner. Now, I like Japanese food but what was set before us was nothing like what I had ever seen before. Basically it was a selection of raw noodles, fish, vegetables and small parcels, along with some rice and miso soup. There was also a huge pot of broth sitting on a mobile cooking hob which the waiter lit, smiled then disappeared. After some close observation of the 5 guys on another table we realised that we had to cook all our own food in the broth. It was awesome!
Went to bed stuffed and managed to find some NBA basketball on TV. More than you can get in the bloody UK at the moment. Although I tried to stay awake I ended up drifting off to sleep at about 8pm, DOH! Woke up in the dark and thought to myself that it must be like 6am or something. Checked my watch and it was bloody 11pm!! Managed to get back to sleep but only til 2am, then stayed awake til the morning, stupid body clock.
Breakfast consisted of more confusion. We sat down to a tray with lots of compartments filled with salmon (fairly normal), omelette (very normal), gherkins (huh?), coleslaw with noodles and ham (er, ok?), some dumplings (tasty but not really a breakfast treat) and rice (crazy japs). It was certainly different but pleasant all the same. After some brekkie we hit the slopes in what can only be considered perfect conditions. There was snow everywhere. A stark contrast to Borovets where snow was sparse. We did a few little green (Gay, sorry, Easy) runs before I convinced kate to try a short red (medium) run. She stacked it and I’m sure hated me for a few minutes but nevertheless she got back on her skis (eventually) and we carried on. We skied for a few hours on the quiet slopes until lunchtime when everyone seemed to just disappear for lunch so we then had the mountains pretty much to ourselves. At about 2pm we took a wrong turn and ended up behind some hotel so we decided to head back, get changed and go see the famous snow monkeys.
We got our bus with little trouble (everyone here is so polite and
helpful), managed to get off at the right stop then had a 2km trek to the monkey park through a winding mountain path which was pretty icy in places but we managed it unscathed. The monkeys were freakin awesome!! They are so tame and chilled (not like those evil Gibraltar monkeys!) and had no problem with you getting right up close as they just chilled out in the natural hot springs. It was so cool just watching them either sit in the hot springs, or scrabble through the snow, or preen themselves or actually have sex no more than 2 foot from my head!! I wish I was a snow monkey! Got some awesome pics too. Well worth the 4km round trek through the woods, up a mountain along icy paths. What did spoil it a little was the fact that so many
people were right in these poor monkeys faces taking pics. I felt a bit bad but I guess it’s a small price to pay for living in an awesome mountain location with hot tubs and monkey sluts who let you bang them while tourists take pictures! (see my facebook pics for monkey porn!)
Dinner at the hotel was again a challenge. We had lots of raw meats and veg but this time had a hot plate to fry everything on. We also had a breaded pork escallop, lots of strange pickled mushrooms and scallop sashimi (raw) with orange fish eggs on, lots of rice and a weird soup with little shrimps in it. There was also some awesome cooked pork in like a teryaki sauce. Ate tons but Kate assured me it was all low fat. Again, tried in vain to stay awake past 8pm and again woke up bright as a button at 11pm! Stupid bloody body clock. Did manage to drift off again but not til about 5am. Next thing i knew Kate was waking me up for breakfast, she also stated that it was so foggy outside that she couldn’t see the hotel next door. When i got up to check i realised it was condensation and it wasn’t actually that bad. So i did what any caring man would do and ripped the piss out of her for it as i got ready for brekkie. Wonder what culinary delights laid in store this time? Well, it was what i assume was a Japanese take on a full english breakfast. Scrambled egg served in a lettuce leaf, sausages and bacon all served cold. Oh, and some gorgeous noodles in mayonnaise. The big bonus was toast which came with some squirty starwberry jam and butter, genius!! There was rice naturally and lots of salad, which i didn’t eat.
We scoffed our food and headed out to the slopes. Very low cloud cover and the fact that it was snowing made it a lot more difficult tod
ay. We walked to the cable car and shared it with 4 Japanese snowboarders who were keen to try out there English on us. They asked where we were from and when i replied England they asked if i had met David Beckham? I have actually but funnily enough i was in Madrid when the whole Real Madrid football team stayed in our hotel, along with Paul Gascoigne before he went completely bonkers. We rode the cable car and got transported all the way to the other side of the resort in search of the Ichinose (yes, that’s what it is really called) family area. Kate took a bad spill almost instantly on the first run and twisted her knee. On the next run she did a fancy pirouette unintenionally and smacked the back her head on the snow. This also had the added effect of stimula
ting her moan gland. I tricked her into skiing a short red (medium difficulty) run which she did really well on but then take another bad spill on the flat bit at the bottom, losing her skis and her willingness to ski at the same time. She decided her afternoon would be best spent back at the hotel so jumped ship and headed for the bus back. This left me on my own to hit a few blacks. Not in a racist way! Black runs are the expert difficulty. I also managed to get myself over to the run where they ran the downhill for the 1998 olympics. It was steep as hell but lots of fun. I then made my way over to Hasiuke near our hotel as there were some jumps i had seen the day before. I hit the jumps and had a few more runs then decided to call it a day and head back to the hotel. As i was walking up the hill who should i see but Kate just arriving at the hotel. Apparently she had taken the wrong bus and ended up right on the other side of the resort and had to get another bus back.
Must be getting used to the Japanese way of eating as no problem boiling our own dinner tonight of beef, veg, battered chicken, breaded salmon, miso soup, salmon sushi and surprise surprise, more rice. Also had a bowl of pleasant tasting slime which Kate assured me was probably string mushrooms. Back in the room now all packed up and ready to check out in the morning. Watching more NBA on the electric fish tank (TV) and trying really really hard to stay wawke past 8pm. Probably won’t get to post this til I get back to Tokyo and get some decent internet access.
Have had a lot of time to think a lot about home. Mostly when i should be sleeping. I think it’s too early to be missing people but that hasn’t stopped me from giving my small pillow i stole from Lufthansa a pet name. Anyway guys i love you millions. Chat soon.
D
xxxx
Breakfast consisted of more confusion. We sat down to a tray with lots of compartments filled with salmon (fairly normal), omelette (very normal), gherkins (huh?), coleslaw with noodles and ham (er, ok?), some dumplings (tasty but not really a breakfast treat) and rice (crazy japs). It was certainly different but pleasant all the same. After some brekkie we hit the slopes in what can only be considered perfect conditions. There was snow everywhere. A stark contrast to Borovets where snow was sparse. We did a few little green (Gay, sorry, Easy) runs before I convinced kate to try a short red (medium) run. She stacked it and I’m sure hated me for a few minutes but nevertheless she got back on her skis (eventually) and we carried on. We skied for a few hours on the quiet slopes until lunchtime when everyone seemed to just disappear for lunch so we then had the mountains pretty much to ourselves. At about 2pm we took a wrong turn and ended up behind some hotel so we decided to head back, get changed and go see the famous snow monkeys.
We got our bus with little trouble (everyone here is so polite and
helpful), managed to get off at the right stop then had a 2km trek to the monkey park through a winding mountain path which was pretty icy in places but we managed it unscathed. The monkeys were freakin awesome!! They are so tame and chilled (not like those evil Gibraltar monkeys!) and had no problem with you getting right up close as they just chilled out in the natural hot springs. It was so cool just watching them either sit in the hot springs, or scrabble through the snow, or preen themselves or actually have sex no more than 2 foot from my head!! I wish I was a snow monkey! Got some awesome pics too. Well worth the 4km round trek through the woods, up a mountain along icy paths. What did spoil it a little was the fact that so many
people were right in these poor monkeys faces taking pics. I felt a bit bad but I guess it’s a small price to pay for living in an awesome mountain location with hot tubs and monkey sluts who let you bang them while tourists take pictures! (see my facebook pics for monkey porn!)Dinner at the hotel was again a challenge. We had lots of raw meats and veg but this time had a hot plate to fry everything on. We also had a breaded pork escallop, lots of strange pickled mushrooms and scallop sashimi (raw) with orange fish eggs on, lots of rice and a weird soup with little shrimps in it. There was also some awesome cooked pork in like a teryaki sauce. Ate tons but Kate assured me it was all low fat. Again, tried in vain to stay awake past 8pm and again woke up bright as a button at 11pm! Stupid bloody body clock. Did manage to drift off again but not til about 5am. Next thing i knew Kate was waking me up for breakfast, she also stated that it was so foggy outside that she couldn’t see the hotel next door. When i got up to check i realised it was condensation and it wasn’t actually that bad. So i did what any caring man would do and ripped the piss out of her for it as i got ready for brekkie. Wonder what culinary delights laid in store this time? Well, it was what i assume was a Japanese take on a full english breakfast. Scrambled egg served in a lettuce leaf, sausages and bacon all served cold. Oh, and some gorgeous noodles in mayonnaise. The big bonus was toast which came with some squirty starwberry jam and butter, genius!! There was rice naturally and lots of salad, which i didn’t eat.
We scoffed our food and headed out to the slopes. Very low cloud cover and the fact that it was snowing made it a lot more difficult tod
ay. We walked to the cable car and shared it with 4 Japanese snowboarders who were keen to try out there English on us. They asked where we were from and when i replied England they asked if i had met David Beckham? I have actually but funnily enough i was in Madrid when the whole Real Madrid football team stayed in our hotel, along with Paul Gascoigne before he went completely bonkers. We rode the cable car and got transported all the way to the other side of the resort in search of the Ichinose (yes, that’s what it is really called) family area. Kate took a bad spill almost instantly on the first run and twisted her knee. On the next run she did a fancy pirouette unintenionally and smacked the back her head on the snow. This also had the added effect of stimula
ting her moan gland. I tricked her into skiing a short red (medium difficulty) run which she did really well on but then take another bad spill on the flat bit at the bottom, losing her skis and her willingness to ski at the same time. She decided her afternoon would be best spent back at the hotel so jumped ship and headed for the bus back. This left me on my own to hit a few blacks. Not in a racist way! Black runs are the expert difficulty. I also managed to get myself over to the run where they ran the downhill for the 1998 olympics. It was steep as hell but lots of fun. I then made my way over to Hasiuke near our hotel as there were some jumps i had seen the day before. I hit the jumps and had a few more runs then decided to call it a day and head back to the hotel. As i was walking up the hill who should i see but Kate just arriving at the hotel. Apparently she had taken the wrong bus and ended up right on the other side of the resort and had to get another bus back.Must be getting used to the Japanese way of eating as no problem boiling our own dinner tonight of beef, veg, battered chicken, breaded salmon, miso soup, salmon sushi and surprise surprise, more rice. Also had a bowl of pleasant tasting slime which Kate assured me was probably string mushrooms. Back in the room now all packed up and ready to check out in the morning. Watching more NBA on the electric fish tank (TV) and trying really really hard to stay wawke past 8pm. Probably won’t get to post this til I get back to Tokyo and get some decent internet access.
Have had a lot of time to think a lot about home. Mostly when i should be sleeping. I think it’s too early to be missing people but that hasn’t stopped me from giving my small pillow i stole from Lufthansa a pet name. Anyway guys i love you millions. Chat soon.
D
xxxx
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