OK, so I've been here in Japan for nearly a week now so not really long enough to know a country. But, i have noticed a few idiosyncrasies that cause annoyance or, i think are totally brilliant. A few likes and dislikes if you want.
Firstly, i have already mentioned the bloody toilets over here and the hours of fun that can be had with/on them. My beef is that there doesn't seem to be any consistency. Some loos have all the mod cons with all the buttons that wash your front garden and blow hot air onto your brown eye, whereas some just seem to spray water up ya pipe and leave you to either drip dry or wipe. Some are just troughs in the ground that you have to squat over (if your a girl) and others are nooks on the sidewalk with an open urinal where every passer by can see you taking a leak (if you're a dude). All seems a bit odd to me.
Also, Japan is a remarkably beautiful country. Tokyo is just like most big cities but has the most stunning parks and shrines dotted around. Outside the city, large red pines and tall bamboo seem to border these amazing little Mr Mayagi type houses. My problem is that all these beautiful things are completely ruined by telegraph poles. Little short one storey poles with massive junction boxes on and unsightly cables stretching the length of the whole street. Imagine America (in places) but a million times worse. Why don't they just bury everything under the roads like us? Maybe it has something to do with the dodgy earthquakes Japan has fairly frequently, I'm not sure. It's just such a shame that nearly every pic i try to take has a bloody telegraph pole in it or a huge great big cable running along the top. Sigh.
Tokyo is the most congested city in the world, apparently. My first impression of Tokyo was the opposite. I came out of Tokyo central station to walk to the imperial palace and there wasn't a soul in sight. I was however, in the heart of the financial district at a weekend and soon found out that in other areas such as Ueno or Akihibara, it is bloody packed!! You have difficulty walking on the sidewalk just due to the sheer number of people around. I don't have a problem with that. It's just that so many people here ride bicycles and there is no allocated lane for them so they ride on the sidewalk too. I was nearly run over so many times today that i now know that the Japanese for sorry is "Sumimasen." It was a total nightmare and i don't get how a modern vibrant city such as this doesn't allow them to either ride on the road or have cycle lanes. Maybe they are waiting for the next earthquake to destroy the city then they add them.
Wow, i feel like grandpa Simpson in that episode where he complains about the use of the words "horny" and "family jewels" on TV. It's an early episode from the first series, i think.
Anyway, another thing i don't get here is what happens to all these young good looking Japanese girls? Some of them are truly stunning. In fact most of the under 30 year olds ( who all look like they are 12) are girls you wouldn't consider kicking out of bed. Weirdly though it all seems to go wrong for them after 40. I have not seen one decent looking older women here. What the fuck happens to them between 30 and 40? Are they shipped off to ugly camp where their faces are scrunched up and their spines shattered so they loose all sense of posture? Every women over 40 also seems to be about a foot shorter. Do Japanese women shrink after they hit 30? Is that something they do at ugly camp? That said, it is hard to see a lot of peoples faces here as they all wear stupid surgical masks. At first i thought "bloody hell, Japan has a lot of surgeons!" but soon realised that even little kids were wearing them and Doogie Howser MD can't have been that big a show over here. I wondered if it was either to protect themselves from pollution or bird flu or SARS but i reckon it's to either cover up the hideous transformation that occurs after 30 or to all look like bad ass ninjas!!
Don't get me wrong, I love it here. There is so much cool shit too. The trains here are awesome. The shinkansen (Bullet) train is the nuts! It goes at 200 mph but is as smooth as silk and super quiet too. Subway trains are so clean. Big too. Well they would have to be really to cope with all the people. They are always on time and some trains tell you how far you have til your stop and an estimated time of arrival too. Pretty handy for when you are panicking about missing your flight. The standard trains here are like first class trains back home. They have tons of leg room. Not sure why as i feel like Gulliver here, i was seriously a foot taller than anyone in my carriage today on the subway. Also, on the train a little lady comes around to sell you water or food. It's wicked.
That brings me nicely onto the food here. It is amazing. All fresh and the selection is beyond comprehension. I thought it would all be fish fish fish but they also do a lot of beef, pork and some chicken. It's not cheap to eat but there are little places where you can stuff your self silly for a tenner. What i truly love is the mystery of what you are actually eating. Some of it is obviously beef or fish but other stuff looks bizarre. I had an awesome white pastry earlier stuffed with a brown sort of meat, kinda like a cornish pasty. It tasted great but for all i know i may have contained whale spunk! You get pretty used to eating mystery foods in Europe, especially France with there's frogs legs, snails and horse burgers but here it's all a bit extreme. In any random restaurant you can order from a picture on the menu and who knows? You may have ordered a penguins cock wrapped in seaweed with some shrimps legs stuffed down the Japs eye! (Hmm, i wonder if they still call them Japs eyes here? Maybe to them they are just "eyes")
Everyone here is super polite. Almost to the point of being subversive masochists! After 50 thank yous and 100 bows you feel like total royalty. It's nice though to see everyone using manners again. I was always told as a kid that please and thank you don't cost anything. Shame that all seems to be on the out back home where a teenager would rather stab you in the eye whilst texting her BFF, than say "please."
I'm no fashionista but I'm liking the Japanese style. They do pride themselves on being "fashionable" but their not heavy into the big labels. From what i can see most guys here are loving the skinny jeans, black shiny puffer jackets, army boots and the arab style scarf. They all take so much pride in their appearance and they all look like they are about to go into urban warfare! It's all very punk styled and they carry it off very well. Unlike back home where most guys look like someone shaved a monkey and kicked it through Topman (thank you Frankie B) or they are total chavs who shop in Sport and Soccer and look like the holding pen for the Jeremy Kyle show (Frankie B again)! The girls here, as i said, are stunning and very fashion conscious too. They are all very trendy with modern haircuts and not a hint of Elizabeth Duke. They also don't seem to mind wearing hot pants even though it's 4 degrees out, nnniiiiccceee!
There are tons of other stuff i like (like Japanese snow. It's such a soft whispy sort of powder that you just glide through. No - Not that type of powder Harry!) but to list them all would be very droll. Overall Japan is amazing. Hardly any tourists, in fact I've only seen a few round eyes since we've been here, and yet Japanese people really make an effort to speak English and help you out if you are stuck, which due to Konji (the Japanese writing), can be often. I strongly recommend anyone to come here.
Just watch out for cyclists, telegraph poles, penguin cocks, bird flu and jail bait.
Peace
D
xxxx
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