Utah Saints

Hey dudes. Greetings from Salt Lake City. Home of the Mormon church and host of the 2002 Winter Olympics. Er, and that's about it. Yet i love it here. This place is about as far away from Vegas as you can get, on a moral compass that is. They are only 500 miles away from each other geographically but as home of the Mormon church it is a far cry from the carnage of Sin City. It seems such a laid back chilled out place and is uber clean. We are staying south of downtown SLC not far from highway 215 or the belt route as it is called (it runs from east to west in the shape of a large smile that looks like a belt, i guess). I am so relieved that we have a car here. Although we are no more than a 3 minute walk to our local tram into the city, SLC is spread out over a huge valley, enclosed by tall snow capped mountains. Our car, or T.I.L.T as we have named it, is a huge white Jeep and has allowed us to explore the local townships and even get to some outlet malls. We called our car TILT for 2 reasons. One, because it is a poker term but mostly because it stands for Tiny Incey Little Tank. Not because he is a bulky jeep that handles like a tank but because the fuel tank in it is measly. On our drive over from Vegas we had only covered 100 miles and used half a tank of petrol! We pulled into a garage to fill up. I feared we had a huge 5 litre gas guzzling machine which would cost us hundreds of bucks in petrol but when i filled it up it only took $20. Handy as we are gonna be covering a lot of Terra firma in the next few weeks. I had forgotten just how much i love driving over here. Yes, it takes some people some time to get used to driving on the other side of the road but i seem to slot into it no problem. It helps as well that most American cars are just like driving huge golf carts. No clutch, no changing gears and very un-aerodynamic.

So, we were supposed to go to a skier only resort the other day called Alta. It is consistently ranked one of the top resorts in America so i was super excited about going. However, we never made it. Kate hurt her foot in Vegas and it has not got any better. Well, it has improved a little but she didn't want to risk hurting it more and ruining the rest of the trip. So we rested it a day and checked out the local area and did some shopping. The next day we decided to test her foot on some skis. We also decided to go to a smaller, quieter resort called Solitude. Again, another highly ranked resort. It was amazing! The snow was awesome. Fresh, dry, grippy and most importantly, lots of it. We skied a lot of easier runs to ease ourselves back into it before hitting a lot more steeper and more challenging slopes. We also ventured over to the little terrain park which consisted of a small jump, a bigger jump, a rail and a box. Not quite The remarkables but good for us. Kate even hit the little jump. Well, she rode over it but i was super amazed that she jibbed the box! I couldn't believe it. I told her that it was easy but thought she'd bottle it. She hit it with way too much speed, aired onto it, then aired off. She was well pleased with herself and hit it a few more times throughout the day. She'll probably turn into a right little park rat now. I'm very proud of her and forget sometimes that she is still a beginner.

We rode solidly for about 4 hours before calling it a day, not wanting to push it too much. We're not as flexible or as fit as we once were. We spent the next day nursing a few aches and strains but managed to get in some shopping. I decided i needed a change so treated myself to some new ski gear. Although the Dollar is not as weak as it once was against the pound, stores here are already selling this seasons stuff off cheap. The ski season doesn't finish for a few more months but there are end of season sales everywhere. I basically got a new jacket and new ski pants for around $150 cheaper than it should've been. Kate treated herself to a new beannie and touched about 37 pairs of ski pants she wanted but didn't buy, naturally. She took a spill at Solitude the other day and managed to slice her trousers with her newly sharpened edges. I had spent the previous afternoon tuning both our skis so they would run smooth. I imagine she will buy some new trousers eventually, especially since everywhere we will visit from now on will have a end of season sale.

I wanted to go skiing again today but Kate was still feeling rough so I decided to go on my own. I wanted to go to Alta but as the weather is a bit dodgy and it is a massive resort, i decided to go back to Solitude. It is our closest hill, and i knew my way around so wasn't going to be worried about getting lost in the bad weather. When i got there the weather cleared and i had an awesome day hitting the more advanced slopes i can't do with Kate and hitting the jumps in the park. It felt so good to be out there at the top of the world, just me and my music. Very relaxing but quite energetic all at once.

Hopefully Kate will feel up to some skiing tomorrow and i won't be too achy from all my exploits today. We haven't been converted to Mormons yet either. I'm keen to be fair but only because of the polygamy. I don't think I'd like all the church stuff. Plus the Mormons we met when we were in the city centre were super nice. Almost too nice for me, almost sinister. Their church was pretty impressive though and we got to see where the Tabernacle choir perform. I very much doubt i will be converted though so don't panic. I reckon I'd be kicked out after a few weeks anyway.

Anyway dudes, i have to chill now and enjoy the bible channel.

Peace, and may God be with you. Nah, it just doesn't sound right coming from me.

D

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What happens in Vegas......

So they say what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. If that's the case then this is gonna be one short blog. All i can say is that Vegas is INSANE!! The end

Peace

D

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Nah, just kidding. I did a little bit more than that. Our first night was pretty uneventful. We didn't finally get to our hotel til late so just went down for a few beers in one of the millions of bars our hotel had in it's huge casino. We also checked out a few games and how much the poker was to play. $60! Still, that's pretty cheap by LV standards. A lot of the other casinos in town are upwards off $100-400 to play. So after some rest and a day walking in the rain checking out the strip and dodging the thousands of touts trying to sell us tickets to shows, we headed back to our hotel to make use of the unlimited beer they serve for $20 between 4pm and 8pm, even better we got asked for ID! After 4 solid hours of drinking we decided to finally give the poker a try. I was amazed Kate went for it as is was obviously $120 for both of us, plus you have to factor in that Kate hasn't really played for that amount of cash. I think you have to be way more careful or "tighter" as we say in poker terms and Kate can be a little loose at times. My concerns were fair because Kate got knocked out pretty quickly. $60 down the toilet but i looked up and Kate was back at the table! In her drunken state she had decided to re-buy in for another $60! If i had even suggested doing that myself she'd have extracted my testicles from me via my anus and slung them under a bus! I didn't let it affect me though as she suddenly started playing much better and knocking people out. I finished 4th which i was pleased with but Kate went on a run of cards and flops i have never seen. She was hitting impossible outs and ended up knocking out a guy to get to heads up. The other guy she was playing offered to split the first and second place between them and i sighed in relief when Kate agreed. There was no way that luck of hers could continue. So in the end it was all good as she pocketed around $300.

After much high fives and both of us super happy, i recommended we hit the hay and call it a night. Kate wanted to celebrate though and refused to go to bed before having a cocktail. I didn't want to ruin her moment so we had a few more drinks and Kate polished off a couple of long island ice teas (her favourite cocktail). I felt surprisingly sober and got chatting to another English guy who had played poker with us and he convinced me to play again in the midnight tournament. Kate said she was gonna go to bed so i said i was gonna play poker. Kate then had a change of heart and wanted to play as well. Not good as by this time she was struggling to stand, let alone play poker in a casino in Vegas. I tried to get her to bed but she refused.

We sat down to play and paid our $120 entrance fees. Kate got knocked out again pretty quick but i played really well. Kate said she wanted to go to bed but i was kicking arse and was the chip leader. She then said she had lost her hotel room key so i had to take her. I asked her to wait until there was a break in the tournament. She sat by some slot machines but kept calling me on my mobile and texting me. I went over to her and told her to wait 7 minutes until the break.

When the break came she was nowhere to be found. I had 5 minutes to find her and get her to bed. I rang her and she said she was on our floor. I sprinted to the lift got upstairs and found her wandering around the corridor. I grabbed her, opened the room and finally got her to bed. I then ran back downstairs and made it to the table just in time. I continued my good play and was the chip leader when i got to heads up against this scary looking tattooed dude. I offered to split the money with him but he wanted to flip a coin. I was a bit pissed off with him as i wanted to make sure Kate was OK, plus it was now 3am. We flipped a coin and it came up that we would keep playing. I went super tilt and pushed all in on the next hand with pretty mediocre cards. The other guy called and beat me. It left me with not a lot of chips and it wasn't long before i was beat. 2nd place won me $200 which i was pretty damn happy about. I went up to bed, put my room key in but nothing happened. I was locked out!

I banged on the door for 20 minutes but couldn't wake up Kate. I went to reception and told them what was happening but the stupid arsehole women on reception told me that because the deadbolt was on the door i couldn't get in. I went back upstairs again to try and wake up Kate. After another 20 minutes of banging on our door, and waking up other people, that i had to apologise to, i gave up. I went back down to the casino fuming! I didn't know what to do. Should i just rent another room? Should i just wait in the casino til Kate woke up? NO, i decided i was going to go to a strip club!

I jumped in a taxi outside the hotel and headed to Spearmint Rhino. After a few more beers and a lap dance from a women with the biggest boobs in the place, i left $150 lighter in the wallet! It was now about 5.30am so i headed back to the hotel. I was pretty drunk by now but still didn't know what to do. As i walked to my hotel i noticed some stairs in the car park across the road. I strolled over and sat down to rest under the steps. Next thing i know i was being woken up by 2 security guards! I must have dozed off. I explained to them what had happened, that i was locked out of my room and that the lady in reception told me i was screwed. They walked me back to the hotel and told me they could get me into my room. Apparently the women on reception was wrong and they had a special key to get into any room. They said she would be fired for telling me that and making me sleep rough. I had to point her out but didn't feel in the least bit guilty. If she had just called security i would be in bed already and still with my poker winnings. Yes, i know i didn't have to go to a strip club, i don't really even like strippers! I hate the falseness of them. They will try anything just to get money out of you but i didn't know what to do and was very mad with Kate.

I finally got into my room at 6am. Kate woke up straight away which pissed me off even more as i had been trying to wake her up all frickin night! She insisted she didn't mean to put the deadbolt on the door but who knows in her drunken state. What a polarva!!

By the time i woke up i had calmed down a lot and started seeing the funny side of it all. Amazingly, even though we spent $500 that night, because we had done so well at poker, we broke even! Not bad really and to be fair, it was probably just another night in Vegas.

So after that night we calmed down big time and actually got out about and checked out the strip more. The weather suddenly became awesome, sunny but still fairly mild. I don't think there is anything in the world to prepare you for the sheer size and opulence of Las Vegas. Everything there is enormous. Some of the hotels are just a stunning combination of size and attention to detail. I have to say that Cesar's Palace was the most spectacular but it is a close call between that, The Venetian and The Bellagio. We had a nose around all the biggies and was blown away by all the marble and features.

Eating in Vegas is just as extravagant as the huge hotels. America is known for it's large portions but in Vegas, it is just ridiculous! All you can eat buffets seem to be the norm and it is so easy to see why there is a scary obesity problem here. That said, you haven't seen obesity until you get to a Vegas buffet. There is fat and then there is Vegas buffet fat. These people were huge! Rolling around the place, their love handles over hanging their mobility scooters with plates full of fried chicken and prime rib. Really really messed up! It isn't just the buffets either. The Nascar cafe near us sold a 6lb burrito! That's like eating a baby! If you ate it in 90 minutes or less, it was free. Crazy!

Another thing i got super excited about was when i saw a sign offering $1 BJ's! I got very excited until i realised it meant $1 black jack. Damn it! Although, apart from all the hotties that work in the numerous strip clubs Vegas seems to be the home of the B.O.B.F.O.C (body off baywatch, face off crimewatch!). Loads of gorgeous bodies topped off with old haggard swamp donkey faces. Think Amy Winehouse but with bigger boobs and more wrinkles.

Vegas was certainly a 24 hour party town with the option to get into a lot of expensive trouble. People stroll the strip with huge yard long cocktails strapped to them shaped like towers, skyscrapers or guitars, at like 10 am. People stand on street corners handing out thousands of prostitute call cards (prostitution is illegal within the city limits but legal in the state of Nevada). And of course there are casinos everywhere. I half expected to go for a piss in a toilet and find a slot machine above the urinal. Vegas could really be an amazing place. In some areas it is clean and super modern but in others you have to wade through thousands of hooker call cards all littered on the floor. It does exactly what it offers and Sin city is such an apt name. It certainly isn't what i would call a family place yet i saw children everywhere. The strip is like being immersed in a huge adult orientated theme park but i liked it. Although sex and gambling seems to be thrust into your face everywhere you go, you can avoid it, if you try really hard.

We left LV blown away by the size of the place. We decided to hire a car after all and have now made the short 6 hour drive to Salt Lake city in Utah. The drive over was uneventful and the scenery was stunning. Miles and miles of nothing at one point then a stunning red rock gorge cut through the mountains. Salt Lake city should be a lot quieter, especially since it is home to the Moomins. remember those little white hippos from back in the day? Well, apparently 80% of Utah are little white hippos but i haven't seen any yet. Kate thinks I'm confused. She keeps telling me it is home of the Morons! We'll just have to see.

The great thing about SLC so far is the scenery. We are high up in the mountains and there is snow everywhere. Sweet. I can't wait to get up into them and ski my arse off. We're off to Alta tomorrow to see how we get on. Kate has hurt her foot so we will see how we do.

So, if sex, gambling and excess is your thing, then Vegas is for you. My cousin is planning her 30th birthday there. I want to go but fear for my wallet. Gulp. That's still over a year away so i think i'll just focus on my current travels. I'll keep you posted Y'all.

Peace

D

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Viva Las Vegas

I had forgotten just how crazy the US and A actually is. In 11 months in NZ I think I saw one crazy dude. It was on the first day we bought Biff. It was hammering down with rain but we decided to drive him to a local beach just to get a feel for him, and to double check he was waterproof. We sat overlooking this huge bay in the rain very happy with ourselves but after a while I needed a wee. I ran across the parking lot to the public toilets through the rain and barged my way into the mens loo, only to be greeted by some crazy Maori dude wiping his butt! I about turned and got the hell out of there but the crazy dude started shouting at me. I swiftly hid/used the ladies toilet next door but while washing my hands I could still hear the loon in the mens shouting and crashing about. I ran back to Biff but it was a good 10 minutes before the nutcase emerged and staggered off through the rain. Seriously though we never saw one other loony for the whole time we were there. America, however, is a lot different from NZ.

Here it is literally packed to the rafters with the mentally unstable! (see what happens when you don’t have an NHS?) We have already seen a bum fight, which I of course found hilarious. We got the bus to Ocean beach to check out what this side of the pacific looks like and had a wander along the cliff tops and past the shops. There were tramps everywhere! I have been to America enough to know they have a huge homeless problem over here but in that short stretch of beach it was like tramp-opolis! We kept ourselves to ourselves, dodged the vast clouds of marijuana smoke and got through it as quick as we could. I couldn’t help but stare though at these two hobo’s going at each other over a reportedly stolen 5 dollars. It was a bit one sided to be fair with the smaller tramp kicking the larger younger tramps arse before the cops pulled up and broke it up. You can totally see how bum fighting became an internet phenomenon a few years back. But I guess this is par for the course when you ride the bus over here. I’ll tell you more about that in a bit.

We have left San Diego now and I am writing this from my hotel room in "The Meadows" or Las Vegas as us non Spanish speakers know it. We pretty much scoped out the whole of San Diego before we left though. Well, we did as much as we could do in the short time we were there. We went to the gas lamp district again and gave it a more thorough inspection, hit up Seaport village and Balboa park and also checked out the world famous San Diego Zoo. I only wanted to go and see Marcel the monkey who used to be Ross’s pet in friends, but after of hours roaming around the monkey section, he was no where to be seen. I was actually a little disappointed with the zoo. Don’t get me wrong, you will have to go a long way to see such a diverse collection of animals in one place but there was just something a bit too cramped about it all. It is spread over a huge expanse of land yet the animal enclosures just felt too small for the animals in them. I felt sorry for the animals, as I do in most zoos, but more so for them not being able to stretch out. The bears for example were in these tiny enclosures, even the pandas. I think I noticed it more because only a few weeks ago we were at Auckland zoo were I was impressed with just how big the animal enclosures were. They didn’t cram in too many animals either. At San Diego they had about 10 yakins (buffalo like animals from China) in a space about as big as my old back garden. These were big animals too. I just felt sad for them. For all the animals really. I know zoos do a lot of breeding programs and have brought some species back from the brink of extinction but I just feel that that work should be done away from their exploitation. OK, save the California condor but don’t charge me $35 to watch you do it. I know that without zoos people wouldn’t be able to see such exotic and endangered animals but it just doesn’t sit right with me. Kate didn’t think much of it either but only because they didn’t have penguins!

The weather turned for the worse again the day we left. The storms had passed and for a while we had some sun but yesterday it all went to shit again. Not a problem really as we spent the day in transit. I hadn’t really considered just how much of a problem it is dragging so much gear around. We left our hotel and walked the relatively short 20 minute walk to the Old Town transit centre but when you are lugging nearly 100 lbs of gear it suddenly becomes a nightmare. Kate had to keep stopping because her elbow (?!) was killing her whereas my hands and shoulders felt strained. We got our bus and struggled on with our big cases and ski bags before the usual comments of "What’s in the bag?" or "You going skiing?" from the bus crazies. We caught the greyhound bus which zoomed us away from San Diego north to San Bernadino. Or maybe that should be called San Murder-dino! What a fucking shit hole. We got dropped at the bus terminal in the outskirts of town where we had a supposed 50 minute layover. I headed out of the terminal to check the surrounding neighbourhood for places to eat but I only got to the corner of the block before fearing for my life and going back to what I thought, was the safety of the terminal. It was rough out there. Derelict buildings, graffiti and dodgy looking characters everywhere. I was back at the terminal maybe 5 minutes though before a fight broke out in the mens bathroom. Well, some dude tried to mug some guy. We were sitting chatting when we heard all this shouting and saw two men come crashing out of the mens onto the floor. Some dude was on top of another pounding the crap out of him. I jumped up, much to Kates dismay who thought I was going to go break it up, and went and grabbed the security guard who I had seen outside when I returned to the terminal. He rushed in and tried to grab the mugger but he just smiled this evil ass smile and sprinted out through a door. He chased him but came back 10 minutes later empty handed. The police arrived a few minutes later and gave us all "scum of the earth looks" before taking the muggee for questioning and to identify a guy matching the muggers description that had been picked up a few blocks away. All pretty frickin scary stuff. I just hope they caught the guy. What a dick! I know they say how some people do these things out of sheer desperation but come on, a bus terminal? Had this guy not seen the dregs who ride the bus? Your not exactly gonna bump into Donald Trump are you? The dude who got mugged can’t have had more than ten bucks and lint in his pockets. I had told Kate about the types that travel on the bus here but it was a real eye opener for both of us. We both looked at each other and said "Hire car?"

The rest of the journey went smoothly though and the guy on the bus next to me said it was a California thing and not to expect the rest of the states to be like that. We chatted for a while about travelling and it was quite refreshing to meet an American who had seen the world. You hear so many tales of the huge percentage of yanks who don’t own passports or that so many people die within 20 miles of where they were born but this guy had seen it all. He had been in the navy as a youngster but when he got out he just kept on going. He’d lived in the UK and in Asia but hadn’t been to NZ. He was on his way home to Boston as he had had his work van and all his tools stolen in Santa Barbara (another California thing apparently). He was gonna be on that bus from Tuesday morning until Friday morning! Screw that! The air fare was only $100 more!

We got in to LV late last night as our bus got a bit delayed in all the rain and trouble in San Murder-dino. Again, the trip from the bus terminal to our hotel was fun with all our gear and of course filled with nutters. Some tramp at the bus stop gave us the third degree and another rough women entertained us on the bus with her speech about god. We dumped our gear in the room then headed for a much needed beer in the casino downstairs. Man this place must have a huge lekky bill! Every hotel is strewn with lights and neon and it’s all 24 hours. I’m looking forward to checking out sin city though and maybe even playing a bit of poker. Well, I already won at video poker. We were walking back to the room last night and I couldn’t resist sticking in a dollar. Played one hand, won 8 bucks. Hopefully a sign of things to come. Yeah right, my next blog entry will be hand written on a napkin because I lost the lap top in a game of craps!

Anyway, I will let you know. I’m off to look at hire car prices.

Peace

D

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A Whales vagina?

'Sup Y'all? Howdy from southern California. Finally made it here after our 21 hour adventure. Well, adventure is a gross understatement, HELL is more of an accurate analogy. Getting all our luggage and skis here was about as much fun as having your pubic hair tweezered out whilst squatting over a BBQ whilst sausages are spitting scorching hot fat onto you! What a hassle! I suppose it wasn't too bad as we only had to repack our bags and suitcases 4 times! We arrived in LA to some of the worst weather they have had in years. In some places in California they have had over 20 inches of rain this week! We got drenched on the short 50 yard walk to the station from the bus but luckily by the time we eventually arrived in San Diego, it had stopped. Now for those of you not familiar with the awesome movie 'Anchorman' which is set in San Diego, Will Ferrell explains that San Diego is in fact German and means "A whales vagina." The train journey was awesome as we had gorgeous windswept beaches on one side and awesome clifftop houses on the other. Shame that all the rain had flooded the tracks so the train couldn't go faster than 10 miles per hour at times. We got to our hotel near Old Town and collapsed. It was an exhausting day and i ache like a bee-atch today. Luckily i bought a roll on pain killer today which has been amazing.

The rain continued at times today with some more hail and cold winds. I hadn't expected it to be 10 degrees either! It's flippin freezing! I hadn't expected to feel this cold until we got to Utah but apparently Las Vegas is colder than here! Good thing we have all our winter gear with us. Today we checked out Old Town with all it's pioneer type buildings and old memorabilia from the gold rush days. I knew it was going to be very Mexican here and it doesn't disappoint. I even tucked away a huge chicken burrito for lunch. Kate also had a steak and bean burrito which i assumed was one of the harbingers of the Apocalypse as it will make her farts truly evil - watch out for reports of people mysteriously dying in California on the news. After Old Town we headed downtown and checked out the GasLamp Quarter. It was awesome. So clean and a great mix of old and modern buildings. It used to be the red light district but has been revamped to be a very trendy boutique styled area of the city. We walked miles today which we will have to do to try and counteract the huge amount of calories in the food here. It seems everything is bigger than i remember. I saw a blueberry muffin yesterday which was as big as my head! We are considering doing Atkins while we are here as it's an easy diet to do and a lot of restaurants here cater for it. We shall see as i am quite partial to pancakes. Kate devised a "rhyme diet" today where you only eat foods that rhyme but i can't imagine losing weight on Steak, pancakes, pasta bake and cheesecake! We'll just have to be careful. I intend to run as well while i am here but not til my body clock adjusts, and this weather gets better.

So, we plan to go to the Big Bay whale day tomorrow. It celebrates the annual migration of the Grey Whales along the pacific coasts twice a year. They have lots of whale related paraphernalia and discounted whale watching trips. If the weather is nice that is. We also have San Diego zoo to go to and maybe Seaworld before heading off to Vegas next week.

We of course will let you know more when we have a bit more time and when we are sure that we are not stealing WiFi from our hotel next door, ahem. Better go.

Peace

D

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Sleepless in Seattle? No, Biff-less in Auckland.

So, yesterday was a good day. We finally sold Biff, got upgraded at our hotel and Kate won 2 free bottles of cider! We are Biff-less. Talk about down to the wire eh? We leave NZ in only 2 days. We took Biff to the car fair again at Ellerslie race course on Sunday. We dropped his price as although we got a fair bit of interest the previous week, I was starting to think we wouldn’t ever sell him and would have to drive him up to Whangarei and leave him with Danny and Catherine, which would have been hassle for all of us. This week we got tons of interest, like last week but people seemed to be talking money more. We handed out numbers and exchanged email addresses with people but it was an old boy who showed most interest. He was there selling a 1999 silver Lexus gs400 for $7500! Bargain. He came over and gave Biff a good once over and left me his number. Although we got a lot of interest I called him yesterday morning and told him Biff was still for sale. We drove over to him and he test drove him then offered to buy him. We then had a bit of a hectic morning booking an apartment in the city and unpacking Biff before dropping him off with the old boy. We then got the train back into the city. He offered to drive us in but by this time it was nearly rush hour.

So Biff is gone and I am sad. I have chatted with Kate at how much we will miss him and how, apart from BUPO (my first car – a faded red/orange 1985 Austin Metro) I have never connected and personalised a vehicle so much. Not personalised as in sticking on my own type of wheels or novelty dashboard ornament, but given it a personality. Old vehicles seem to have character though don’t they? I mean we talked to Biff as if he was a friend or a pet. He responded too. He was so much more than just a fancy van with a bed and a kitchen in the back. He was our home and our transport for nearly a year. He was a member of the family and I will miss him. Apart from a few little act ups he was awesome but those little act ups, like wetting himself the first day we bought him or his alternator brushes needing changing in Gisborne were what gave him character. Considering he was 19 years old he could have pretty much fallen to pieces and broken down every 5 minutes but he never once even overheated. He had done over 350,000km! (260,000 miles!) In a country as small as NZ as well. He must have covered near enough every inch of it too. I often would drive over some random bridge in the middle of nowhere and wonder if Biff had already crossed it, or how many hundreds of times he crossed the Auckland harbour bridge? I hope we did show him some places he hadn’t been to before cos he sure as hell showed us some abso-frickin-lutely amazing sights. Getting a campervan seemed such a cliched thing to do here as just about everyone does it but it is an awesome way to see the country. It gives you such freedom but allows inaccessible areas or off the beaten track locations to become reachable. Although free camping is forbidden in places, you could if you want, find an out of the way place to kip for the night, as many people do. Biff made life for us so different from the usual hotel or tent based accommodations. He was comfortable, convenient and most importantly he was dry. No running through the rain to cook in the kitchen, or bang in tent pegs. He kept us warm in the cold and tried his hardest to make the muggy summer nights comfortable. He was just so much more than a van. We will miss you buddy.

We are now in a nice big apartment in the same place we stayed when we first got to NZ. We looked at staying at other hotels but really liked the independence of having an apartment so decided to stay here again. I tried to book a studio apartment online but the website kept crashing so I had to ring them direct. When I called the reservations department they said that there weren’t any studios available but as the website had said there was, we would get a free upgrade to a 1 bedroom place. Sweet! Except that when we checked in they had actually upgraded us to a 2 bedroom apartment! Super sweet! It’s bloody huge, even with all our gear in it.

Last night we painted the town, not quite red but more of a tame pink. My first drink since New Year but we had to send Biff off with a bevy. Kate was excited as she won this text competition to win 2 free bottles of cider. I wonder if I will ever get over her frugalness. When we were packing up Biff I was amazed at just how much of a needless hoarder she is. It just seems nothing is worth throwing away for her. Sigh.

So we have a few free days in Auckland now. Kate is contemplating jumping from the sky tower again or bungy jumping from the harbour bridge whereas I am once again looking at getting some ink done. I still have to do something with my guitar too as I can’t take it to the states with me. I think mostly we will just relax finally and let the prospect of the next leg of our journey sink in. I am super psyched about going to San Diego (It’s Spanish for a whales vagina don’t you know?) then onto Vegas, then Salt Lake city, then San Francisco, then Seattle, then Vancouver and all the delights of Canadian snow across the Rockies.

I have loved New Zealand. A country with such natural beauty and cultural heritage yet has only really been on the map for a brief sneeze of time. Queenstown will always have a place in my heart and i will always have fond memories of the friends I made there. When I got here I thought I would be bungy jumping off everything and sky diving and all that but I haven’t. Some people would see that as a bad thing but for me it just means I have left some things to do if I ever come back. For me it was more about exploring and feeling free, away from the stresses and strains of ‘normal’ life. I wanted to see the real NZ, to get off the well trodden track and go into the wilderness, which I have done. I have covered near enough all of this fair land. Man, I have seen more of NZ in 11 months than I have of the UK in 33 years! Something I may need to address when I get home. So many places to see and such little time.

So all that’s left to say really is goodbye from New Zealand. If anyone out there is wanting to see a truly amazing and stunningly beautiful yet diverse and cultural gifted place, then NZ has to be high on the list. It helps that most people here are only a few generations departed from being just like you. It is very British here but also with strong pacific influences. Not just from Maoris and other islanders but from Asia too. It is so relaxed and chilled out here which fit me so well. Yes it is a country with troubles but from a tourists point of view it is amazing and like no other country I have ever been to. It is as diverse as you get and the thing I like the most is that you can be on a tropical beach or in a rainforest or on a mountain top or hiking along a glacier or in a modern shopping mall all within 100 miles of each other (at the right time of year of course).

To everyone I have met here, be it in Qtown or on the road, thank you for helping make this past year so memorable. Safe travels to you all.

Right well, I’m off to the states. San Diego here I come. I will of course keep you posted.

Peace

D

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anyone wanna buy a camper?

So, no luck with selling Biff yet. I kinda knew that we wouldn’t get much interest over the holidays. People distracted by beaches and presents don’t really think much about buying a clapped out old camper (We love you really Biff!) That said it has changed this week. We are starting to get a lot more interest in him but although we are expressing urgency to sell people seem to be chilled out about it. I guess they are in a strong position, surrounded by a market flooded with campervans and all the time in the world. We on the other hand would prefer to sell him pretty soon as we leave NZ in 10 days! We have had a few people come and see him, including a ex British family who loved him but wanted to keep looking. It would’ve suited them perfectly as Biff is huge and a small family would’ve found him quite adequate. We also got a call from a German couple who had just got off their flight and were keen to look at campers. They didn’t have a car so we drove over to them. They again, loved Biff but wanted to keep looking as he was the first van they had seen. I doubt they’ll buy him. Biff isn’t what I would call a backpackers van. A lot of backpackers, people who don’t mind slumming it or don’t have tons of money seem to go for the smaller older vans with a permanent bed in. We looked at that option but preferred to have a few creature comforts and a bit of space. I’m 6 foot 3 remember?

So I doubt ze Germans will want to but Biff. We have had a few texts and emails asking questions but no one else has arranged a viewing. We took him to the Ellerslie car fair yesterday. It’s a market for selling cars and vans. You just rock up, pay an administration cost and park up. They give you a for sale sign and provide a sellers information sheet and you sit and wait as hundreds of people wander around looking at all the motors. It was amazing and I’m surprised we don’t have something similar at home (maybe we do and I just don’t know about it). You get to see loads of different, well priced cars and vans all in one place. We got quite a bit of interest and gave our numbers out to a few people so we will just have to see if anything comes of it. We plan to go back next week, if we don’t sell him this week of course.

If we can’t sell him, Danny and Catherine have offered to take him until he sells which is a great relief as it means we will get a reasonable price for him instead of panic selling him for less than he is worth. Even if we sell him for what we paid for him we will make money as the exchange rate has plummeted to favour the NZ dollar. We are in a good position where we are not too dependant on the money from the sale for our further travels. Some people we met at the car fair were desperate to sell their cars or vans as they were relying on the money from the sale to keep travelling. For us, we would like the money before we leave just to tie up loose ends and so we don’t have to transfer money from back home which costs us.

We are still here in Auckland and although I have given it a bit of a slating at times, I am actually liking being here. I think it helps being out of the CBD (central business district or Downtown to the rest of us). We have been staying up in Northshore which was lovely and not too far from access into the city centre but our discount run out so we have moved to Avondale. It is the closest campsite to the centre of Auckland and easily one of the cheapest too. It has been a bit tricky planning to do things though with Biff on sale. We were driving out to the Waitekere ranges the other day when ze Germans called so we about turned and goose stepped our way to them instead. It was fine as I am gonna get my mountain fix in a few weeks anyway! Yeah baby, bring on the snow. I hear that the UK has had it’s worst winter in 30 years! Typical that the one person who would’ve been in heaven in all that snow (me) is thousands of miles away in tropical heat. Bloody nightmare. That said in a month or so I will be in Canada in –20 degrees so will probably be pining for the tropical heat again. Nah man, I am a winter person and can’t wait to feel the snow crunch under my north face boots again. It’s gonna be epic. North America is getting dumped on as well as the UK and Mt Washington on Vancouver Island, where we are going for Kates first experience of Canadian snow, already has over 250cm of snow! 2 and a half metres! I can’t wait.

My new years resolutions are going well too. I’ve been running pretty much every other night. Not for great distances as the heat is a problem but just to find my running legs again. Only 9 months until my triathlon though so have to get a move on. I have to beat my old time but am a little concerned that I won’t be able to swim or cycle until I get home in April. Should be plenty of time though to get my fitness up in those areas. I very much doubt I’ll be doing much running in Canada, unless they have gyms with running machines in our hotels, as it’ll be too cold and snowy but I’ll be skiing all the time which is good exercise for the legs. My diet has been awesome too. I think a combination of determination and reluctance to buy food as we are leaving soon has helped. The weight feels like it is falling off but without scales it is difficult to say how much. I feel slimmer already and my clothes are looser. Kate also said I looked slimmer the other day but it might have been due to the clever use of mirrors and lighting. I feel good though. I always do when I am losing weight or training, release of endorphins and all that I suppose.

The only negative (which I since turned into a positive) is work related. Looks like my job on the birth centre has gone so I have to work elsewhere in the hospital after all. Looks like labour ward is my only option. Not ideal as it is the hub of stress and strain but I reckon I can make it work. I have given myself an ultimatum though that if after a few months it isn’t working out I will look elsewhere for work. Maybe something outside of London, or even outside the UK. Who knows.

It’s amazing how life goes isn’t it? This time last week I felt snowed under with burden yet this week it has been refreshing and the feelings of dread have lifted as i have realised that no matter what happens, everything is going to be OK. I have looked back at the truly horrible things that have happened in my life and in comparison, those burdens were more like annoyances than actual problems. It’s true though eh? Sometimes we worry about stuff that in comparison to real problems, isn’t actually worth getting worked up about. In the words of the great John Mayer "When I find out what it REALLY is, I’ll worry about it. Don’t be scared about next Tuesday cos Tuesday hasn’t happened yet."

So keep your fingers crossed we sell the Biffatron 3000, as we sometimes call him, but if there is someone else who needs your thoughts or love, give it to them instead as we are actually OK. I will keep you updated.

Peace

D

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HAPPY NEW YEAR Y'ALL

So first things first, HAPPY NEW YEAR! Holy shit, where the fuck did the last ten years go? I remember the millennium as if it was only 5 years ago, not ten. Blimey, nothing like a new year to make you feel old. For me, new years have always been a time of reflection. Well, to be honest, from my birthday in late November until that first week of the new year I am always reflective. Inwardly critiquing myself and the past year. It’s amazing how different I feel about myself and everything I do now then I did 10 years ago. So much has happened in that time. Ten years ago I was finishing my degree and embarking on a career path with all the enthusiasm of a man with the world at his feet. I had ideas of owning a home and maybe even starting a family.

This year my goals are so much different, in fact they are almost the reverse of my goals from that distant past. I love my job but at this moment in time the prospect of going back into the same chaotic work force is filling me with dread. I had to email my new boss this week and inform her that I am finishing my work break 3 months earlier than planned. It was hard to do. I mean there are all the stresses and strains of working but with an extra 3 months off and money in the bank, the urge to continue travelling is gnawing at my soul. To carry on this lifestyle would be a dream come true. Anyone who has spent a prolonged period travelling will relate to this. Yes, it sucks being away from loved ones but the freedom you experience and the amazing people you meet is something very hard to give up.

I am worried I will not be able to go back into the role I had before I left work. The NHS is a needy mistress and I may be required in other departments. I could do the work standing on my head whilst simultaneously cupping my balls, it’s not a problem. The problem arises from the stress these other departments inflict. I am known as a very amicable, easy going character at work and that’s mainly due to the fact I don’t get stressed. If I were say, to go back to labour ward I think I wouldn’t be so laid back. Who knows? I may well be worrying over nothing but the thought of looking elsewhere for work has creeped into the back of my mind just in case. I have always been a firm believer of doing a job you love. If I fall out of love with it for whatever reason, it’s going.

Hell, if it gets really bad at work I could always get a job in Tesco just until I get enough money together to hit the road again. Living in a van for the best part of a year has shown to me that I can survive on pretty much nothing. I have rotated the same 4 t shirts for the past 6 months! I have washed them of course but I have a wardrobe full of clothes I never wear. The salvation army have had some pretty nice donations from me already but what the hell do I need all these clothes for at the moment?

So we started the new year in Whakatane (pronounced Fuckatanay which always made me giggle – so immature). We left the Coromandel just after christmas. It was a really pretty part of the country. Especially Cathedral cove which is an amazing secluded beach. It’s called cathedral cove because of this huge natural arch which separates the 2 beaches there. It is pretty isolated and completely enclosed by high white cliffs. It has awesome pohutakowa trees growing over the beach providing shade and giving it a real tropical feel. It was about an hours walk to get to the beach though which Kate gave up on half way. She was sun burnt from the previous day, had no sun screen on and it was frickin scorching. That and she is so unfit! So I did the walk myself and found the 140 steps back up from the beach a bit of a struggle but it was well worth it. Got some pictures but they no way do it justice. I suggest googleing it.

We also went to hot water beach but as we had already dug ourselves a sandy hot tub back in Kawhia all those months ago, we just watched. It was way too hot for us on the beach so we headed for shade and the safety of Biff.

The drive to Whakatane was pretty cool and we even passed through a town called Katikati (pronounced Katie katie we assumed). It was definitely a town for Kate since it had massive traffic jams due to loads of people who couldn’t park! Just like Kate.

We spent the new year just outside Whakatane at Ohope beach. It was nice except it seemed everyone in New Zealand with a tent descended to our campsite. No lie, it looked like a shanty town! The christmas and new year break is a big deal over here. Half the country shuts down and, due to it being summer, heads to the beach. Whakatane is one of the sunniest places in NZ so was bound to attract plenty of sun worshipers. We on the other hand stayed out of the sun. Somehow though Kate managed to get burnt sitting in the shade of Biffs retractable awning! I swear I am married to a vampire sometimes. Meanwhile Kate sits opposite me smothered in aftersun with a bright red head!

We have since departed Whakatane and headed north back to Auckland. We will probably hang around here now for the duration of our stay which is only 3 more weeks! Jeez, that is depressing. No, we need to sell Biff and Auckland is probably the best place. We are outside the main city in Northshore. It’s a leafy suburb with some amazing Asian markets. We have fallen back in love with Japanese food again which is gonna help the ever expanding waistline and the annual new year resolution to loose more weight. That said I just crammed in 2 and a half steamed spicy lamb buns. Oh how I have missed steamed buns since we left Japan.

Being in Auckland has it’s benefits I guess. We got to watch Avatar again but in 3D this time which nearly blew my cock off! How good is that movie? Answer, pretty damn good! It is getting lots of attention here as it is heavily associated with New Zealand. They have the most amazing special effects company here. Just look at Lord of the rings, King Kong and of course Avatar for examples.

We have also been doing a few things we missed last time we were here like Kelly Taltons Aquarium. It was OK I suppose but had emperor penguins so we couldn’t not go. I got a bit sad actually watching a huge turtle flailing around in its tank. Not sure an animal as nomadic and migratory as a turtle should be in a tank, especially as they live for so long too.

So I am all over the place mentally at the moment. Gutted about leaving NZ but excited at the same time about our onward travels. Pensive over last year and determined to make this new year special. Apprehensive about going back to work but desperate to come home to see my family. And then there are the fireworks going off in my mind which is the excitement about my sisters wedding in October.

I hope you all had constructive 2009s. I am proud to say 2009 has been probably the best year of my life for so many reasons and yet I still have so much more to do. I guess I just need to focus on that at the moment and let all the other stuff sort itself out. Happy new year guys. Make the most of it.

Peace

D

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