Epilogue - part one

Well, helloooooooo there blog followers!!

Sorry about the seemingly camp introduction to this blog entry but i guess if you read the first sentence in a gruff voice, it sounds OK. So, i have been back in the UK for around six months now and thought i had better update the old status. Since arriving back, life has had its fair share of ups and downs. The ups have all been friend and family related and the downs have mostly been work related. I am still struggling my way through work but it sometimes seems there is a huge chasm in my knowledge of all the crazy high risk, life threatening chaos that i endure on what seems to be a daily basis. The first few months back at work were awesome. I hit the ground running and slotted straight back into doing one of the things i think i do best which is supporting women in labour. I had some amazing experiences which only went on to reinforce the fact that i believe midwifery is my calling. I had some amazing births, enlightened my colleagues and influenced their practise for the good. I knew it was very much a honeymoon period though and suspected it was the calm before the storm. Little did i knew it was a storm of Hurricane Katrina like proportions.

I won't stress you with all the gory details but imagine your worst ever day at work, then multiply it by a thousand, stir in some sleep deprivation and sprinkle with a tablespoon of the worst luck you could possibly have and you might get a rough idea of just how shit the whole 6 weeks (yes, 6 weeks!!) of the end of August/whole of September was for me.

I think i totally jinxed myself though. I knew that the honeymoon period would be over soon so i applied for a few jobs at local hospitals in preparation. I got offered posts and actually accepted a job at the nearest hospital to me, Frimley Park. I then had a bit of a bad week at work but felt unbelievably supported by my colleagues and after much reflection and thought decided to actually stay loyal to the only ever maternity unit i have worked at and stay. Since making that choice though work has been relentless!! I have managed to fluke my way through 3 years of nurse training, 18 months of midwifery training and 8 years of midwifery practice where it was always deemed "quiet." Never too manic, always fairly chilled and relaxed. Yes the odd busy day here and there but that's the nature of my work. You are either fairly busy or fairly quiet. The days were you are at a constant are probably more rare. Well, since my decision to stay at Queen Charlottes Hospital, it has gone completely mental!! Something i have never seen before and naturally struggled to deal with. My 90 minute commute to and from work had been a breeze up until then but suddenly seemed a massive encumbrance at the beginning and end of my 13 hour shifts. At times it seemed like as soon as i got home after a long day and my head hit the pillow, my alarm would go off and i had to do it all again. I was exhausted, which meant my days off were spent lounging around not wanting to move too far from the couch. It frustrated me, especially since i had just spent the previous 15 months being so active and enthusiastic with a real thirst for life. Now i just wanted the days to pass until i could spend the day in bed. I was lucky enough to recognise this though and realign my priorities. I started planning. I find planning an amazing way of obviously giving yourself something to look forward to, some goals, some ambition.

I changed my diet. I planned an exercise regime. I started trying to get out there a bit more. Not just outside, but out there more socially. It worked as well as up until now i have lost over 30 pounds in weight and for a time felt re energised and rejuvenated. Work it seems though, is the exact anti remedy to feeling upbeat. The relentless grind of 15 hour days on my feet, stressed out of my head soon crept up and the last fortnight have been a real struggle. The exercise regime has ceased, the healthy foods long gone and the feeling of life has eeked away. Every morning is a struggle to hoist myself out of bed and drag my sorry hide into work. But there is light at the end of this gloomy tunnel.

Firstly, my sisters wedding in Florida next week. I have been counting down the shifts until i have my nearly 3 week break. Amazingly after 15 months away travelling, i almost see 2 weeks in Florida as like a weekend away. It will be the lightest weight i have been in America since i was 14! That might not sound like a big deal but bear in mind that nearly all the clothes i posses have been purchased there and you get some idea of how i excited i am the be going. I love the laid back fashion of the 4 S's, as i call them (Skiing, Skateboarding, Surfing and Snowboarding) and of course America has so many shops where i can find such attire. In the past i have relished the fact that America has quite an obesity problem so all the shops stocked large sizes which suited my ample build. Now though, as i sit here in my medium sized t-shirt with something close to resembling a waistline, i can go for a few more of the trendier styles. Don't get me wrong, you will never see me in a pair of skinny jeans and a huge baseball cap but i no longer have to hide my tubby girth under a huge hoodie.

So Florida will be off the chain. I then have 2 skiing trips in January to look forward too. Both have given me a focus to get myself back into my fitness regime as from personal experience, skiing is a lot easier when you have a modicum of fitness. I'm super psyched to be getting back on the snow too.

But the biggy is that i might be potentially heading back to NZ!! One of the factors in making my decision to stay at Queen Charlottes was the money. Now, i know i will never be a millionaire working as a midwife but if i do decide to head back it will be nice if we can get our savings back into the respectable shape they were in before we embarked on our travels. We are not too far from that and the extra money i make from working in London will help us get back to that point a lot quicker. That is if i don't go mad in Florida and spend it all on jeans!! We have sent our details off to an emigration agency who have assessed us and want to meet for a consultation which will be cool. Just to hear what their thoughts are and what advice they can give.

In my eyes its a no brainer going back there. I haven't been THAT happy since i was in my late teens, before the onus of college and a career took me. Yeah, it will be hard saying goodbye to my family but to be honest it hasn't been the same since we got back. My sister has been very occupied with her wedding but we have still managed to stay close and see each other all the time. I have seen more of my sister Kes as she comes down to Hampshire a fair bit and have seen all my Hampshire crowd regularly. My mum has been very distant though which i am really surprised about. I heard from her more while i was away (mainly through this blog, lol) then i have since i got back. Initially it was great but recently it has been none existent. I know relationships are a two way street and can't put all the blame on her but if she only knew the drama i have been through these last few months.........................I guess i don't want to further burden her with my problems as i know she has enough on her plate as it is. I feel my sisters wedding has caused her to distance herself from us and i don't know why. When i got married it brought us all closer together but i know my mum is in a very different situation to back then. She just seems a lot less motivated this time, a fact my sister has picked up on big time. It's a shame really as all we need to do is talk and yet none of us want to, or are too busy doing mundane things. Maybe she will find her way on to my blog again soon and see this post and take the hint, ahem! Or maybe i will just call her. She doesn't do that thing that most mums do and complain that i never call, but maybe she should. Or maybe she should just call us. I think once the wedding is out of the way, and my sister has stopped hounding her for money, passports and what not, she will relax and get back into her old ways. I mean, jeez mum i haven't even had an email from you for ages!! LOL.

So, in summary:
Work = shite
Friends = awesome
Family = room for improvement
Travel = awesome
Life = hopefully on the up

Yeah, we will just have to see what goes down over the next few months. Christmas is gonna be a clincher. It's my favourite time of year, I'll be with my family, I'll be dripping in fresh new American clothes, I'll be excited about skiing in January and hopefully work won't dampen any of that! Fat chance.

Peace Y'all

D

XXXX

Home at last

So, the only travelling i will be doing over the next X amount of months will probably be to work. Sigh. No, it feels amazing to be home. Almost like i never left. Which felt very very weird.

Our flight home was extremely pleasant due to me pre booking some bulk head seats so we had extra leg room. Kates dad met us at the airport which was quite emotional. When i got back to Kates house we dumped our gear and headed straight out to get some new mobile phones. I finally got my iphone (which i have been waiting to get since they came out ages ago!) We then braved the London traffic to venture over to my mums. Wow, i hadn't realised just how much i hate driving in London. Seeing my mum and my little sister was amazing but after a few minutes we were back to our usual chats and again it felt as if i hadn't seen them in just a few days not over 14 months.

The next few days entailed busying ourselves looking at flats and cars before my sister Jodie throwing us a big family party at her house. It was awesome seeing all our lot and catching up. It was another late night for us talking into the wee hours and drinking and eating way too much. We are staying at my sisters until we sort ourselves a place to live at. Which wasn't very long as we were lucky enough to find an amazing flat in a really nice area. We were the first to look at it and snapped it up. I also finally bought a car which i pick up tomorrow. Good thing too as Kates car broke down the day after we got home and has spent the last few days in repair. A combination of Kates dad, my sister and my cousin have been ferrying us around while sort everything out.

We have decided to rent for now as don't want to commit ourselves to staying. I imagine it won't be long before the clean crisp mountain vistas of Qtown start to yearn to me. My sister Jodie is planning to get married in Florida in October so we are definitely gonna be here until then. After signing all these year long leases and contracts though i imagine we'll be here a while. I still have tons to do so have to keep this blog short. I'm hoping to create a nice epilogue at some point. Will keep you posted.

Peace

D

XXXX

Home time

Today is finally the day i go home. I'm sad, naturally, but also really really excited to see my family again. I'm gonna be super busy over the next few weeks which will be a good distraction i suppose as i have to sort out like everything! Car, phone, internet and of course, somewhere to live. I'd like to have it all done before i start back at work too. My sister is throwing us a big party at hers this weekend but i also have loads of others wanting to see us before then. Understandable but i just hope I'm not too jet lagged when i get back to blighty. I've been running on around 6 hours sleep since we left NZ so hopefully a little shut eye on the plane will suffice.

Since my last blog entry we haven't really done much except travel about. Whilst in Banff we decided to explore the local penis themed lakes. They have Lake Minnewanka and Lake Johnson just outside the town. Both were really pretty and had already started there spring thaw. We also drove up to Lake Louise which, although being still really frozen, was stunning with it's sheer dramatic mountains rising from the waters edge. I had seen it before on a miserable drizzly day but this time it was far more impressive. People were venturing out onto the ice but i decided to stay on land. We also explored the bow valley parkway which i guess was the original road from Calgary to Lake louise. It was very twisty and windy but nice and quiet and still had a feel of being off the beaten track. We saw a few deer and i think i saw a wolf but Kates bear watch was unfruitful. She was very optimistic as a large male grizzly bear was seen there a few days before. The males are all awake now and desperate for food so they hug the train tracks as a lot of trains leak grain. A local told us a story of a bear that hoped onto a slow moving train but couldn't get off and rode it all the way to Manitoba. Imagine the train workers in Manitoba when that train stopped. Apparently it caused a bit of havoc in the city. Cool huh?

We left Banff on the Easter Saturday. The town population had swelled somewhat for the Easter weekend but it was still cool to have one last shop. The coolest thing about Banff for me was that not only is it a stunning place but it snowed every day we were there. I do love Banff but could never live there. They make it near impossible to move there as it's in the national park and they have a shed load of restrictions. It'll still be a desirable holiday spot for me though. We also saw pop legend Pete Waterman there.

From Banff we headed out of the rockies to Calgary. It marked the end of Kates bear watch once and for all. It was pretty sad as we passed the last mountain and she said "ah well, that's the end of bearwatch." Number of hours spent looking for a bear? Hundreds. Bears seen? Zero. I told her we needed to be there later in the year and the fact that we saw a crap load of other animals made up for it. After being in Banff, Calgary and Edmonton were pretty much after thoughts. They were only really places to stay in to kill a little time until we flew home. I was keen to go back to them to just create some new positive memories about them. Calgary is very similar to most north American cities. It is famous for the Stampede which is a huge cowboy related festival that happens later in the year. Other than that there isn't a lot more else to see or do. It has a really pretty island park in the middle of the city but it is over populated with eager joggers all hours of the day. There are a few remote spots where you can relax and feel serene though with the huge city scape over looking you. It is a very clean and modern city. It has it's fair share of trendy areas and shopping havens but if you ever go there over an Easter weekend, bear in mind most of it will be closed.

So i now sit in my Edmonton hotel. I thought i was gonna be here a little longer than we are so had arranged to meet a friend who lives here and also to meet a friend who lived just outside the city in a town called Leduc. Either way i had to message them and tell them i had cocked up but I'm sure they will be fine with it. So Edmonton is a pretty nice city if you like shopping, like we do. It has the WEM (West Edmonton Mall) as well as other huge shopping areas. We got into town a little early yesterday so decided to check out the WEM. I think it was at one point the largest shopping mall in the world and due to the horrendous winters they have here it caters a lot more than just shops. It has an ice rink, mini golf, cinema, theme park, pirate ship complete with sea lion show and a huge indoor waterpark. You could quite easily spend a whole day there. We had a quick whizz around the shops not really looking for anything in particular and had a nice lunch. We then checked into our hotel, played a little online poker then decided to finally go to the Keg. We have often looked at menus and adverts for the huge steakhouses that have been scattered along our route on the Canadian leg of our trip. We have always decided it looked over priced but as it was our last night we thought we'd finally have one. Oh my god it was such a nice meal! We sat at the bar while our table was prepared, had a nice glass of wine and felt quite civilised for the first time in a long time. Our food was amazing! Kate had a baseball topped sirloin, a steak so thick they can only cook it medium rare! Perfect as any steak cooked more than that is a waste in my eyes. I had a huge slab of tender prime rib. Ah man it was so good - drools on keyboard. I still have a food baby from it! I'm gonna be digesting that for weeks! It was a good way to sign off from our trip for sure.

And now it is all coming to a head. All i have to do now is load up the car, drop it at the airport and wait til our flight. I checked in online last night which was genius as we got to choose our seats. I of course nabbed the ones with the leg room but we will see as i know it's not guaranteed. It has been such a weird few days. Sometimes i just feel all the energy leave me and a monumental sigh leaves my body but then a few minutes later i am giddy with excitement. It is a real roller coaster of emotion. I am super amped about seeing all my kin though and can't wait. I am of course a little down about this all coming to an end and the prospect of reality and responsibility.

I have always loved Canada and it was always the the first place i saw myself emigrating to but this time my opinion has changed. Yes, the skiing was awesome considering the low snowfall they have had, and yes the people are amazing but it just doesn't feel as homely, as spectacular as it once was. It isn't New Zealand. It just isn't Queenstown. I think we lucked out so much with that place and i find it really difficult to find reasons not to go back. I think i will have to think long and hard about it. Before all that though i want to go home and see my family and to do all the things i have missed so much on this trip. I always wondered how i would cope with all this travelling. It was simple really. Yes the last week or so has been an effort in comparison but before that it was effortless. Yes, we didn't quite take the traditional backpackers route. We didn't stay in too many hostels or live off pot noodles but we are successful 30 year olds and didn't need to. In a way i am glad we waited until now to travel. It allowed us luxuries we probably wouldn't have had if we had tried the same trip 10 years ago. It certainly enhanced our experience. I think a lot of reflection will occur over the next few weeks, some of it to guide future decisions but most of it to try and reinforce the memories of a really special time in my life. I will let you know how i get on, as ever.

Peace

D

XXXX

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

A pretty eventful week this week. Golden turned out to be quite restful. We managed to get up to Kicking Horse ski resort and although i thought it was a little small and over priced for what it was, i thoroughly enjoyed it. We got chatting to a few locals on the gondola and talked about our travels and all the skifields we'd visited. They asked what i thought of their resort but I'm not sure they liked my response and gave us the silent treatment for the rest of the stupidly slow gondola ride. I was just honest when i said i thought it was small and overpriced. I took Kate down a few quite steep black runs which she did not enjoy one bit. She can ski steep stuff but hates it when they get mogully (not like the jungle book character of the same name). These were easily the steepest runs i had taken her on. She was too tentative and took a couple of spills which ended in long slides on her arse down most of the run. It knocked her confidence a bit and seemed to drain what little energy she usually runs on causing her to want to call it a day pretty early. I got a few more runs out of her and found a sweet little jump over some trees which i nailed and was stoked about.

We also explored the small town and had a little walk along the kicking horse river. We drove out of town to reflection lake but the wind got up which made any reflection impossible. I think Golden would be a nice place to visit in the summer as apart from the skiing, there isn't a great deal else to do. In summer you can paraglide, kayak and go tramping, if you don't mind all the bears. So apart from skiing all we did was relax and play a little online poker. I had a right result as i got my first ever royal flush. Basically it is the highest ranked hand and is unbeatable. The odds of getting a royal flush are 1 in 649,000 so as you can imagine, i was pretty happy. What made it even better was that i had position and just sat back and watched as people kept raising and raising. One guy pushed all in and i gleefully called and won a huge pot. Bahahahahaha - evil cackle. I'm not doing too bad online either. They say a good return is about 12% after 200 games. I'm still about 15 bucks up so not doing too bad.

So we left Golden and i was quite keen to get back to Banff which was our next stop. I spent a month there a few years back and met some really cool people and had an amazing time. I was looking forward to getting back there especially since this time it'll will be under better circumstances and with far less stress and strain. As soon as i got into town i was in awe of all the amazing dramatic mountains that over look it. Banff is in the Banff national park, which is the oldest in Canada, so they aren't allowed to cut many trees down. It means the town is stunning. The Bow river cuts through the it, it's so fresh and clean because it's illegal to drop litter yet the town is modern and dynamic. It's a total tourist trap with millions of hotels and souvenir shops but it's still such a cool place. What made it that much cooler was that as soon as we got into town it started snowing. Like dumping down! Banff has a proper long winter but just like the rest of Canada it has not snowed as much as previous years. It is so much colder here and i was hopeful we would see some fresh white stuff and mother nature did not disappoint. Sunshine Village which is the local resort got 14cm followed by another 17cm. The last time i was in Banff it was a few weeks later in the year yet it was still crazy cold. One day it was -30 degrees, the snot froze in my nose and then it dumped 60cm of snow in the space of about 10 hours! So, i told Kate to wrap up warm, which turned out to be very good advice. The windchill easily dropped the temperature down to about -15 degrees and the gusts blew so much snow off the trees it made visibility a problem. Sunshine is a big resort and after a few hours in the deep snow, we were knackered. Kate has started to get used to skiing in deeper snow and i have started just trying to jump off everything i can when the snow is that deep. It was a really good day once we got over just how cold and windy it was.

Banff is the first real mountain town we have stayed in. Fernie was a mountain town but is no where near as picturesque as Banff. The great thing about it is that even though it's a small place, it has a throbbing social scene. It reminds me a lot of Qtown in that it has a lot of bars and restaurants. Not as many as Qtown but enough to keep you interested. We earned a few beers so decided to go to an Irish bar for happy hour. What a rip!! It was the most pointless happy hour ever! 2 beers cost $11 during happy hour and $12.50 after!? In my books that's not a happy hour. Still, the beer slid down nicely and after some awesome ribs at Tony Romas we stumbled home through the snow to our hotel.

Another thing we have looked at doing whilst we have been in Canada is dog sledding. There have been a few places that have done it but there has just not been enough snow to warrant it. It's pretty pricey but after all the snow we have had here, we decided to go for it. We drove out to Canmore which is the nearest big town to Banff and signed up for some dog sledding that afternoon. We spent the morning in Canmore, had a nice lunch then explored. The town is just outside the national park so is more developed. It had some amazing houses and little communities on the outskirts of the town. As we explored we came across a huge herd of massive elk which made Kates morning. She is still constantly on bear watch but is always psyched to see any wildlife. So far we have seen elk, deer, mountain goats and sheep, eagles and loads of squirrels. No bears though. Our dog sled guide drove us high up into the mountains for our tour. We stopped by Spray lakes which used to be a collection of lots of small lakes which were all excavated into one huge lake which supplies water for the town. We were the only people on our tour so helped our guide harness the dogs and attach them to the sled. I was all ready to get my "mush" on but instead the command was "up up up up up!" The dogs were so cute and were a husky/greyhound cross bred for speed. They flew as well, even with my fat ass in the sled. We rode about 5k before stopping at the lake for some hot chocolate and a snow ball fight. Well, i threw Kate in the knee deep snow and hit her with some snow balls while she moaned at me. On the way back we both got to be mushers and guide the sled. The dogs were relentless and even pee'd and pooped on the run! They were so cute and if they got tired they just chomped at the snow for a little drink on the run and carried on. One dog in particular, called Dawson took our fancy as he was obviously a bit slow. Not physically but in the mind. He looked like he had some hound in him and spent most of the time running forward but looking back at us in the sled and barking. Our guide reckoned he had an IQ of 30. Bless him. When we got back we fed the dogs and said our goodbyes. It was so cool. Yes, at first i thought it was a little cruel but these dogs are bred to pull sleds and they seem to really enjoy it. Whenever we slowed or stopped they barked and tugged at the reigns to get going again. Kate and I are both dog people too so we were always gonna love it. I highly recommend it as it allows you to see some truly stunning scenery and meet some amazing animals.

We are coming down to it now and it's only a week until we come home. We still have a few hundred more miles to travel and at least one more day of skiing so still a lot to look forward to. I'm looking forward to coming home and seeing my family. Just such a shame i have to go back to work in a couple of weeks. Sigh. I guess I'll just have to think of the money.

Peace

D

XXXX

Golden showers and the Cockhouse

All i have to say about Montana is WOW! I decided long ago (never to walk in anyones shadow!?!) that living in the USA was completely out of the question. I mean, for one Americans can be pretty dumb and xenophobic but i was more worried about all the guns. So many Americans stockpile weapons, for what i'm not sure, and you can walk into any hunting shop, fill out a form and in a few weeks you are entrusted with a lethal weapon. I know the UK was having a lot of problems with knife crime in London before we left but here it's all about shootings. I watched a programme about teenage gun crime where kids as young as 13 were taking guns to school and going mental. So as i said, America was always gonna be a place high on the visit list but was never going to be considered as a place to settle. Well, that was until we hit Montana. It was such a beautiful place with a real laid back cowboy feel. The town of Whitefish was awesome! I doubt it has changed much a lot in the last 50 years. The walk down main street reminded me of a town from the old west with it's saloon style bars and shops. My nan would absolutely love it too as every other shop sold cowboy hats and native American artifacts. She loves all that crap. It was crazy cheap too. Food, skiing and lodging all way cheaper than the rest of north America. We looked at the local real estate as well and that was also super cheap. Saw a nice 3 bedroom house on a few acres for next to nothing. It's pretty remote though and is still a long way from any large city.

The ski resort of Whitefish was probably the friendliest hill i have ever been to. All but one person on the chairlifts spoke to us. The snow was awesome too which turned the day into a monumental one. It hadn't snowed there for a while and was quite hard and crusty in the morning but as the spring sunshine warmed the hill the snow softened and it was epic! The hill is surprisingly big with lots of small runs which allowed us to settle in before hitting the main longer runs. All for only $60 too which is well cheap. I don't quite understand just why skiing in the USA is so much cheaper than in Canada. The resorts in Canada have been a little bigger than the average American resorts but I'm not sure that justifies them being around $15 more per day! It was certainly a welcome break to the wallet which is continuously being strained while we are away. Still, we have the money and this is a once in a life time type deal so I'm not too bothered. I'd like to have a little bit left though for when i get home.

Montana also seemed to have way more wildlife. Since we left Vancouver we had seen a grand total of 4 crows on the roads on Canada. As soon as we crossed the border, which was amazingly smooth considering the border patrol had never seen the type of visa we had to get into the USA, we were surrounded by elk, deer and golden and bald eagles. Like proper surrounded too. I had to stop the car to allow a family of elk to cross the road whilst 2 massive eagles sat by the side of the road eating some unfortunate road kill. This will change though as we head north and east through Canada. Last time i was in that part of the world i saw bears and shared a bus stop with a very tame elk. Kate is permanently on bear watch when we drive. It is the perfect time of year for them to be coming out of hibernation and due to the unusually warm weather, i imagine they are already "oot and aboot" as they say in these parts.

From Whitefish we headed back up to Canada and settled in Cranbrook. A pretty dull town which we just used to break up the long drive and also to go to the small resort of Kimberley. We drove there but when we got to the bottom of the hill it looked pretty bare with not much snow. The website called it "Spring conditions" which looks like translates as "No snow." There were a few runs open and some people skiing but we both decided it wasn't going to be worth the price of a lift ticket. Especially since the next few ski fields are the most expensive we will visit. So we decided to save our pennies and head back to Cranbrook.

I was quite glad to leave Cranbrook as it was a pretty boring place but I really enjoyed the drive to our next stop, Golden. I have been to Golden a few times but only as a stop on road trips from Banff to Revelstoke. Last time i was here i found it hilarious as there was a RV park which had this huge billboard by the freeway advertising its showers. The way it was worded though made it look like it was advertising Golden showers, eww!! I also noticed a place called the Grizzly Grill cookhouse but the sign had faded so it looked like the Grizzly Grill cockhouse! I ate there but there was no penis on the menu.

Golden is a really pretty place with the Kicking horse river cutting through the town and the ski resort, of the same name, overlooking us from the mountain. We plan to head up to Kicking Horse tomorrow for a bit of a ski. Usually we would come back and have a nice long soak in the tub but our hotel is the first one we have had without a bath. Looks like I'll be having a Golden shower after all eh?

We are here for a few days before heading back to my favourite place in Canada, Banff. I am so looking forward to getting back to the quiet little mountain town but also because as most ski resorts are getting ready to close up for the season, Sunshine Village in Banff is still getting good snow and will still be open for another 6 weeks!! I can't wait.

Peace

D

XXXX

Weekend in the USA

All the talk of global warming has got a bit tedious but i am certainly seeing the effects here. I know we have come to Canada in spring but i expected much colder harsher conditions than we have been experiencing. There are pros and cons to this other than the imminent rising of the seas and the dilution of the gulf stream which will plunge the UK into a permanent winter. Here it has meant that snow levels are even lower than last years disastrous levels. That said we are still enjoying our skiing. It isn't as nearly as epic as i had hoped but compared to NZ it is still pretty special. The lack of snow though has produced a massive advantage. That being that the roads are so clear. As we drove out of Vancouver with our little nissan laden with skis and suitcases we had to drive quite a way until we saw the inevitable "carry chains or have good winter tires" road sign. We don't have either and i was obviously a little concerned as we have planned to head off into the Rockies. We have been lucky though and the only icy/snowy roads we have encountered were on our way up to Big White. Luckily they had just had an 18cm dump of fresh okanagan powder. The drive up was a little slick but we made it up no problem. The resorts here are so much more money than the hills we skied in Utah but when people offer you tickets in the parking lot and save you $50, it really helps! So with our scalped tickets we headed off into the fresh powder. I skied like a man possessed with the fear off falling or hurting myself pushed right to the back of my mind. Such soft fresh snow is like skiing while wrapped in cotton wool. I flung myself off anything that resembled a jump or ledge and shit myself on a huge jump which i thought was a lot smaller. I nailed the landing though and rode off whooping and hollering with delight. Kate had never skied in such new snow and was way too tentative. In deeper snow you have to let yourself go and trust your technique. The fresh grippy snow slows you down but you have to work harder to turn. She struggled on our first run and said she didn't like it. I laughed and told her to just go for it. Kate tends to almost hockey stop each turn to control her speed which is near impossible in deep snow but once i got her carving a bit more she was away! We had such a good day and even my crash into a tree couldn't dampen my spirits. It was pure comedy as i flew over this ridge and landed on a steep which shot me forward at, quite literally, break neck speed. I tried to slow myself but knew a hockey stop in the deep snow would just shot my head first down the hill, so i traversed the slope pointing my skis more uphill. Gravity wasn't my friend in this instance though as i ran out of piste and clattered into the branches of a pine tree by the side of the slope. I collapsed into the deep snow which cushioned me nicely. As Kate cleared the ledge a woman who had seen my spectacular stack asked her if we were together and that she should check up on me but when i emerged from the tree pissing myself laughing, she knew i was OK. Her concern was further extinguished when she skied up to me and noticed a piece of tree sticking out of my goggles like some sort of pine mono brow.

Big White was amazing. Great snow but a bit crowded by Canadian standards. It is spring break here though so that explains it (screams "SPRING BREAK!!" and throws an egg from my car at a passer by - just like what happened to my mother in law in Florida. It left a nasty bruise!). Brighton is still our number one place with Big White now a very close second.

The icy conditions on the roads continued as we left Big White and headed straight over to Rossland. It is a tiny little town sunk down in a snow filled valley just north of the USA border. Not exactly Kelowna in its glamour but still pretty quaint. They have a ski field there called Red Mountain which is famous for it's gladed tree runs. We suffered the next few days though from our exploits at Big White and although the lift passes were free, we never made it up the hill. We had only planned to stay a day there before heading off to Fernie but ended up spending that day in our room aching, popping pain killers and muscle relaxants. In a quiet moment in Kelowna i had joined an internet poker site so Kate also joined and we spent the whole day playing poker. I managed to double my $30 bankroll in about 20 minutes in a cash game so was well pleased but have since lost most of it and decided to just stick to sit and go tournaments. You can win a lot of money playing cash games but you an also lose a lot. Having not played online, other than Facebook (where i have over $6 million in fake chips), i need a bit more practice i think. I came second in a sit and go and won $16 but other than that i have only had a few cashes. Kate has started to do well and has also had a few cashes. We are sticking to very small stakes at the moment so anything we win isn't exactly gonna allow us to run out and buy a new porsche!

So we headed to Fernie and settled into our last hostel of this trip. It's all hotels after that. Now i'm not a snob, i lived in van for a year for Christs sake, but the hostel we stayed in in Fernie was a bit rough. No, it was actually OK but i think our room was above the sauna! Man it was baking in our room all the time. I opened the window one night but had to close it when it started snowing on our gear. The heat was a problem at night but what was worst was the constant stench of ganja! I know that Canada has quite relaxed laws and opinions on marijuanna use but it was relentless. I'm sure it had an effect on my eating habits too as every night i lay in bed craving brownies.

Fernie was our first real mountain town and the ski resort is was only a few miles from the town centre. It was a pretty little town with the usual ski and snowboard shops. I took the opportunity to demo some skis i have had my eye on for a while. Back when i bought my skis in Canada a few years ago i looked at some Volkl Gotamas. They were out of my price range but since then they have been redisgned. Skis are actually cheaper in the UK than in Canada but back home we have a distinct lack of ski resorts so i thought I'd give them a try. We headed up the hill after 4cm of new snow but the conditions were terrible. The lower half of the mountain was an ice rink but once we kept above the mid mountain it was pretty good. The demo skis worked well but I'm not sure i want to part with the money just yet. Plus I'd wait til i was home anyway as they're cheaper but they would just sit in the shed til next winter. No point.

We were woken this morning by a knock on our room door informing us we hadn't checked out of our room yet. We looked at each other both thinking we still had another night. After a quick check of our trip planner on the laptop though we discovered that we should already be on the road to Montana. Oops. We hastily got dressed and packed and left. To be honest i was pretty glad to leave our hostel, especially since it smelt like a Amsterdam coffee shop.

So we have now arrived in Whitefish in Montana. The drive here was the most stunning scenery we have passed through yet since leaving Aoteroa (NZ). Huge glacial lakes, big pine forests and the odd deer crossing the road. Pretty sweet. We are just here for the weekend before heading back up to Canada to Cranbrook. Hopefully there will be a few end of season dumps of snow over our last few weeks here. Well, if the snow does start to thaw we can always play online poker. It's a win win situation either way.

Peace

D

XXXX

March at 'leventh

Today is my sisters birthday. It is the second birthday of hers i have missed while i have been away. I feel bad as out of my vast family, she is the one person i miss the most. I doubt any brother has the same sort of relationship with their sister as i do with mine. You could say i am a protective big brother but not in the traditional sense. I don't lord it over her and shield her from harm but i would gladly give my life if it meant she never felt an ounce of pain. We have been through so much together and there is no bigger sanctuary for me then in my sisters arms. She supports me without even realising. Yes she has her flaws, as does everyone but other than her addiction to catalogue shopping, pinot grigio and a penchant for rough sex (i saw that bruise on your bum!!), in my eyes she is truly amazing. When i think back to the things that i miss whilst i am on this huge adventure it's amazing to me just how many of them involve my little sister in some sort of way. It's simple things like just chatting in her kitchen, or watching her kids play football in the rain, or the numerous meals my soon to be brother in law cooks for us. Whether it's barbeque's in the sunshine with a cold beer or just rushed cups of tea, i love just being around my sister and her family. Since i moved to Northolt when Jodie lived near Charville, we have not really been more than a few miles apart. Considering that between the ages of 8 - 15 i hardly ever saw her. Those first few years though cemented a bond between us that is difficult to explain. All i know is that i am not afraid to say that i love my sister so much and i miss her all the time. I am so sorry sis that i have missed another birthday but i am sending you tons of love from the other side of the world and soon I'll be living in Harry Jacks room and you won't be able to get rid of me! XXXX

Right well, back to the issue of this blog thing. Vancouver produced some very unseasonable weather for us and it felt good to stroll around without a coat on. I met up with a friend from Queenstown too called Rob. He worked with me at Coronet Peak and we were on the same dodgeball team. I remember making him feel really bad when he accidentally hurled a dodgeball into the face of one of our female opponents. I knew he didn't mean it but i enjoyed winding him up. He left Qtown before the end of the season to get a jump start on his Canada trip and has been here for the last 5 months. As he missed the end of the season i had loads of gossip for him. I think Rob had only intended a quick drink and a catch up but we ended up getting quite a bit drunk. After he left me and Kate got down to the proper drinking back in our hotel bar. I woke the next day with a crushing headache! I had forgotten just how strong Canadian beer is. I have become accustomed to NZs smoother less powerful beers, which i prefer. We spent most of the day in bed but when we did eventually venture out to get some food we randomly bumped into Rob in our hotel lobby! He was there cashing a cheque as he had been working in the bar next door for the Olympics. He invited us out for another beer but we gracefully declined. He was quite interested in our travels across Canada as he is keen to get out on his snowboard. I emailed where we will be and when and left it up to him if he wants to meet anywhere. It was good seeing him again as he is a really nice guy.

We spent one of our last days there by going shopping. We travelled out to the Metrotown Mall on the train were i encountered a peculiar sign about pick pockets. I stated that you should beware as Vancouver has the best pick pockets in the world. A bold claim i thought. What, did they have some sort of college? The Artful dodger school of dipping? Or the Fagan institute? Have they not seen Oliver? London practically invented dipping!!

Oh another thing i have learnt to my peril - Never trust google! That website fucked me over so much in Vancouver. Lets say i fancied a burger king. I'd google it to find the nearest shop, get directions by google map, commit it to memory, walk miles to get there to find no frickin burger king! It fucked me over at least twice! Either that or Vancouver keeps changing and relocating stuff to keep one step ahead of them. Annoying.

So we left Vancouver and it's vast sprawl. It is such an amazing place. The downtown area is quite compact and some of the neighbouring districts are stunning. We drove through west and north vancouver on the other side of the harbour and those places have an amazing view and sunset out across the bay. From Vancouver we picked up our car for the next month and headed to Kamloops. Kamloops, according to numerous travel guides, has nowhere of any interest except the ski resort Sun Peaks. They are not lying! What a strange place. Driving from Vancouver you pass through valleys and mountains and huge pine forests which are beautiful before you get to the browny grey hole in the ground that is Kamloops. The hills and mountains would ordinarily be pretty impressive if you hadn't just drove through some stunning scenery. It's quite a small industrial town too so chimneys pop out all over the place and spew smoke up into the clean mountain air. The only reason we stopped there was for Sun Peaks and it didn't disappoint. The resort was huge, the second biggest in British Columbia to Whistler. It had just had a light dusting of snow and our first few runs of the day on the middle mountain were awesome. We then ventured over to the bigger mountain which had a bit more steeper terrain and had seemed to have missed the new snow. It was much icier too so we went back to the middle mountain before checking out the third mountain they have there. Yes, three mountains. The third mountain was good because no one was there and the fresh snow lay pretty much untouched. We had a really good day but it wasn't as good as the day we had back in Brighton in Utah. A close second.

We were quite keen to leave the grey brown Kamloops and head to our next stop, Kelowna. On the way we stopped for an afternoon at Silver Star which is another ski resort. We were a bit sketchy about the fact they hadn't had snow for over a week but this is Canada and they still had over 2 metres to ski on. It was a much smaller resort and we pretty much covered it all in just a few hours. It was surprisingly good considering the lack of fresh snow and was our first taste of Okanagan powder. The Okanagan Valley has world famous snow called champagne powder. It's some of the driest, lightest, fluffiest snow in the world and i have been waiting to get here for years. The snow was good but without fresh stuff it just felt like normal snow. The other resort in the Okanagen valley is Big White, which is just down the road from our Kelowna hotel. As i look out of my hotel window up to the hills it is dumping snow up there and I can't wait til tomorrow when we'll get up there.

Kelowna is called Canadas California. I can kind of see why. It sits low in the Okanagen valley and straddles both side of the long thin Okanagan Lake. The lake has beaches and the town has an active winter and summer season. There are beach volley ball and basketball courts dotted along the lake front. The town is over looked by snow capped hills and mountains and is the closest looking place we have seen to Qtown. Not as dramatic but close. It is one of the largest growing communities in Canada and with the gorgeous scenery, lake and ski resorts, it's easy to see why. It might help that Lake Okanagan has a loch ness type monster too, apparently. Don't know many facts and other than the loch ness monster statue down by the lakefront, it's not exactly a massively publicised thing. Not a souvenir shop in sight. I always imagine Loch Ness to have "Nessy" based souvenir shops and tourist havens everywhere. But hey, this is Canada after all. They are so modest here it's ridiculous. I guess when your nearest neighbours are brash, loud, smug Americans it's not difficult to see why though.

So far i have really liked Kelowna. I knew i would just because of it's similarities to Qtown but i am really looking forward to some okanagen powder tomorrow. Wow, that sounds a bit like a drug reference eh? We've only planned to stay a few days before heading southeast down to Rossland but i really wish we had planned a longer stay. I'll let you know how we get on.

Happy Birthday sis. I love and miss you millions. I hope you have an awesome birthday.

Peace

D

XXXX

Wood watching

Just a quickie today guys. Wow, it seems I'm on a roll when it comes to this embarrassing myself in public malarkey. We drove back from Torfino all ready to drop off the car and get the bus but decided to see if we could extend the hire car for a few more days. The hire car company were closed for lunch so we decided to go to the rental place next door instead and see if they could do us some sort of deal. Now the crappy rent-a-wreck car we had was an oldsmobile alero which is quite a low sleek sporty looking car, which for someone who is 6 foot 3 inches like myself, is a slight problem when getting in and out of the damn thing. It almost looks like one of those clown cars when you see a giant clown unfold himself out of a tiny car. Well, i guess i must've caught my baggy jeans on something as i was getting out of the car because when i was in the Budget rental shop next door i suddenly realised my ass felt a bit cold. We agreed to just rent from them and decided to drop our piece of shit oldsmobile back. When they brought our new hire car out we went outside to check it over for dings and stuff and my ass suddenly went very cold! I reached back to feel what the deal was and realised the whole left side of my butt cheek was hanging out! My jeans were totally shredded. Being pretty used to embarrassing myself in public by now i pointed it out to Kate and the dude showing us the car. What i had forgot though was that it's been a while since we have done any laundry and I'm down to my emergency boxers. Emergency boxers are the tatty ones you save until you are desperate. The ones in question were pretty much crotchless! So not only did i have a huge rip in my ass, it revealed probably the most tattiest pair of bangers i possess. Kate had to sit down from laughing so much and the other guy just sort of ran off screaming.

Jeez, when will this end? I like to make people laugh but maybe not when it comes to over exposing myself. Says the guy who once painted himself blue and danced naked on national TV. Thank god though that tape seems to have been lost for now. Well, unless my partner in crime Lewy still has a copy.

Anyway, we dropped off the old car and drove the new swish hire car down to Victoria, which is the provincial capital of British Columbia. Victoria is quite a big place considering everything else on Vancouver Island is pretty small. We got into town just as the Canadian Mens hockey team won gold against the Americans and the place was going crazy! People running around dressed in hockey uniforms, cars tooting their horns and just general anarchy! It was insane. I knew that Canada was passionate about ice hockey but DAMN! These guys were going nuts. It was the closest i have ever been to a riot. A joyful riot though. We wondered the streets just soaking in all the crazy canucks running around in red face paint.

Apart from all the commotion with the ice hockey fans, we just checked out the downtown area. Victoria has quite a lot of old historic buildings. Well, old by Canadian standards. The country isn't exactly what you would call old. It was pretty though. I guess any city would look pretty special with huge pine forests and snow capped mountains on the horizon. I was still a little peeved that i missed the Orca in Tofino so we decided to go on a whale watching trip. Victoria has the most consistent viewings of Orca in Canada, apparently. So we checked the weather and decided to go out for an afternoon trip. We checked in and put on our Mustangs. A Mustang is a PFD (personal flotation device) that you wear. Not like a life jacket, more like a life suit! It's like a cross between a wet suit and a one piece ski suit and makes you look a lot like a teletubby.

We also went on a zodiac which is a really fast dinghy style boat. We headed out of the harbour into open sea where our skipper really opened the taps! We were flying along on some of the calmest seas i have seen, yet we were still managing to air completely out of the water! I loved it. It was like jet boating on a more grander, more dangerous scale. Although we are here out of whale watching season, our skipper told us they had seen whales in the area just a few days before. It filled us with optimism but after a few hours of seeing just seals, sea lions and bald eagles we realised the chances of seeing any whales were waining. In fact the only thing i saw resembling a whale was a huge log! We saw plenty of logs and bits of wood floating past as this area is a huge logging area. I joked that they should call it wood watching instead. So, we were a little disappointed but it was still cool getting out on the open water and exploring the water ways around the area.

We left Vancouver Island yesterday and got the ferry over to Vancouver. I liked Vancouver Island a lot. It was very laid back and very organic looking. Just so lush and green. The big cities of Victoria and Nanaimo were quite industrial but Courtenay and especially Torfino were really quaint and pretty. I would love to go back in summer and really explore the woods and beaches.

Today we spent the morning at the Vancouver Aquarium at Stanley Park in the city. It was cool being back there and was one of the city highlights last time i was here. Mainly cos it was raining the whole time i was here and i appreciated an attraction that was dry but also cos of the super cool sea otters they have. They are the cutest animals. They are way bigger than you think too. We walked there from our hotel in the heart of the city in a popular vibrant area called Granville. It's a long bar lined street with some nice looking restaurants. One of which i hope to go fill my belly up in right now. Better go as Kate is starving! We're in the city until the weekend when we head off to the ski fields of Kamloops. Chat soon.

Peace

D

XXXX

Chaos with condiments

I think I have finally completed another chapter of my book - How to embarrass yourself in public. This chapter is to be titled Chaos with condiments. Around 10 years ago i was in Toronto on the last day of a two week holiday. It was a glorious summers day so Kate and I decided to go to a quite posh restaurant down on the pier over looking Lake Ontario. I ordered a cheeseburger if memory serves and when it arrived at my table i reached for the ketchup and mustard. I squeezed the mustard but none came out. I squeezed harder but still no mustard. Thinking there must've been some kind of blockage i proceeded to give the mustard a squeeze of titanic proportion! There then followed a loud POP and my meal and my shirt where then covered in yellow goo. It turned out i needed to twist the top of the mustard bottle to open it before squeezing. Oops! The waitress found it hilarious as she brought over handfuls of napkins to help me clean myself up.

Now, you would've thought i would've learned a valuable lesson there and would now show all condiments the utmost respect. I don't know why, maybe it's just a Canadian thing but i managed to one up myself yesterday. We have made our way to the quiet little seaside hamlet of Tofino on the west coast of the island. The drive across the island was extremely scenic, especially since it was dumping snow up on the mountains and hills. When we got to town it was a little too early to check in to our hostel so we parked the car and walked down to the dock to hunt for somewhere to eat lunch. We found a cute little cafe overlooking the estuary and the small islands in the inlet and ordered our food. I ordered a philly style beef sandwich and got down to soaking in the amazing view. When my sandwich arrived i reached for the ketchup bottle and gave it a good old shake to loosen its thick contents, not realising the bottle lid wasn't done up. I managed to spray red sauce all over my face, hoodie and the floor. Kate wet herself when she saw what i had done. I feverishly grabbed my napkin and tried to clean up my mess. Kate eventually calmed down and i started to see the funny side of it. I had to really try and keep a straight face though when the waitress walked past our table and slipped on some ketchup. She recovered and gave me a funny look. I turned away and tried to focus on the view.

I don't quite know why i seem to be so unlucky when it comes to these sorts of things. At least i can see the funny side of it. Our meal was made even nicer because as we were getting ready to go the waitress informed us that a pod of killer whales had just been spotted heading this way. I excitedly jumped up and ran off to the car to get my camera as Kates feeble excuse for a camera doesn't really zoom in. I sprinted back up the hill, stopped at the top to stop myself from puking up my lunch but managed to grab my camera and make my way back to the sea front. I was greeted by Kates smiling face telling me i had missed them! I must have only been gone a few minutes but i guess the whales where in a hurry. Bugger! Typical eh? Oh well, there were only 4 orca so i wasn't too gutted.

So, before all the ketchup drama and the trip over to Tofino, we went skiing again up at Mt Washington. They had had nearly 15cm of snow the day before and it really made a difference. The snow was awesome! We skied most of the day before the low cloud made it really difficult. I even lost Kate on one run. She lost the trail and got stuck in deep snow. I waited ages for her but visibility made it impossible to see anything so i skied down and jumped back on the lift up to see if i could ski down to her. We managed to meet up back at the base building and all was well. I doubt i will ever ski in snow that deep. The base is still increasing and at last check was nearly 480cm!!

So we are here in Tofino now. Our hostel turned out to be closed for the season so we decided to get a room at a nice hotel down the road. It over looks MacKenzie beach and is only about 20 feet from the sand. On our way to Tofino we noticed loads of Tsunami evacuation route signs and on further research we found that this area averages around 1200 earthquakes a year!! That said, we enjoyed a nice stroll along the beach at sunset and examined the rock pools. Imagine how we felt this morning after we heard there was an earthquake in Chile and that the pacific rim was on Tsunami alert! Perfect! Our beach got closed and we were warned by our reception to stay off the beach this afternoon. Apparently we were going to be hit by half a metres waves. However, just like the tsunami warning that was issued after the NZ earthquake we experienced, the waves were tiny and of no concern. Still, pretty cool.

We are only here until the morning before i have to drop the car back in Nanaimo. Good riddance and all! Not only has the ABS broken but the indicators decided to stop working too the other day. We get the bus down to Victoria where we stay for a couple of days before heading back to the mainland. I'll be sad to leave as it is so beautiful here on Vancouver Island. The forests are so green and lush. Moss and lichen seem to cover everything and give it an even more organic feel.

Anyway, better go. It's my turn to wave watch. Kate is worried we'll get washed away but i'm sure we'll be just fine. Hell, if we do get washed away, at least i might get a chance to see some bloody killer whales!

Peace

D

XXXX

O Canada

Since my last blog i have changed countries and travelled a further 1040 miles to add to my ever increasing total for this past year and a bit. I am up in Vancouver Island in a little town called Courtenay. This part of the world is in the spotlight at the moment as the winter Olympics are not too far away. The trip here was pleasant and included a few stop overs. We first stopped in a small town in Oregon called Canyonville. Oregon was stunning! As we entered the state from California we were greeted by Mt Shasta and the surrounding national park. Very scenic with lots of pine trees over shadowed by the tall snow capped mountain. We only stayed in Canyonville to break up the drive and the scenery following our stay there was not nearly as dramatic. When we got to Seattle though we were greeted by some amazingly unseasonal weather, warm and sunny. It certainly improved my experience of Seattle from last time where it seemed such a grey drizzly place. I could totally see why Kurt Cobain killed himself. I thought he probably did it more because of the bad weather and not the pressures of following up one of the biggest selling albums of that era. This time Seattle only seemed to throw off positive vibes and i was able to appreciate the beauty of the surrounding area. We did the usual touristy stuff and went up the space needle and checked out Pike Place Market. The Space needle seems so dated now and isn't even the tallest building in Seattle anymore but it is a must see and on such a clear day it allowed us amazing views out over the bay and to the Olympic mountains in the distance. Pike Place market was buzzing with the weekend hustle bustle and our noses were filled with scents of freshly baked produce and flowers. Last time i was there i was most taken aback by the cheap flowers you can buy there. This time, although they seemed a wee bit more expensive i was blown away by the sheer beauty of the arrangements. We wandered around the market and dined on Polish pastries. I declined to spit on the window of the original Starbucks coffee shop this time though, global corporation conglomerate thieving shit-on-the-little-guy bastards that they are!

I must say that i had been a bit sceptical about going back to Seattle but I'm really glad i did as it was refreshing to see it in a new light, sunlight. We gave our car back, reluctantly. It was a pontiac Vibe and was easily the most European car i have driven here. It was super fast too with oodles of torque (puts Jeremy Clarkson voice on) and was easier to park than the usual American cars which are similar to parking the QE2, whilst blindfolded. We had to take the bus from Seattle to Nanaimo on Vancouver island as it was way cheaper and included the ferry crossing. We got to the bus station and prepared to pay all the excess baggage they charge for ski bags but the dude there said they don't charge to go to Canada. Sweet! We waited in the bus station with the usual dregs of American society with people begging, swearing loudly and the constant stench of marijuana. The bus pulled up and we all bundled on. Our fellow passengers looked surprisingly normal except for one guy who just would not shut up. He was so loud and talked to everyone. I must have heard him tell people he was meeting a friend in Vancouver to go check out the Olympics about 40 times. I couldn't help but laugh when he got stopped at border patrol and turned back. Our bus driver said she knew he was going to be trouble and thought he wouldn't get in. Wow, it seems Canada is like a posh nightclub.

We stopped in Vancouver and watched the hundreds of people walking around with painted faces and draped in Canadian flags. The Candian mens hockey team were playing the USA team so the town was buzzing. I only left the bus station to go to an ATM and was swamped by the masses of people on there way to the hockey game. I made it back safely and we only had a short wait to get our bus. The trip over to Vancouver Island was beautiful as the weather was perfect. The sea was dead calm and the sun was shining. We docked and jumped on the bus for the short trip to the bus depot. I then had only 15 minutes to go and get our hire car. I managed to find the place and pick up the car. We have hired from a place called "rent a wreck" and when i was shown to the car i could see they weren't lying. I looked over the oldsmobile piece of shit and laughed to myself. Oh well. I picked Kate up from the bus station and her face when she saw the car was one of total disdain. We loaded up the car and made it only 5 miles out of town before the ABS light and traction control fault lights came on. I contemplated driving it back but knew they were closing as i picked up the car so decided to carry on regardless. We drove the short, in comparison to previous drives, 120 kilometres to Courtenay. I have no idea what the town looks like as it has been smothered in fog for the last few days. I know the weather in these parts can be a tad extreme but it would be nice to actually see where we are staying.

The main reason we are staying in Courtenay though is because of it's close proximity to Mt Washington. At the moment it has the deepest snow in the world with a 465cm base. To put that into some sort of perspective, Coronet Peak had one of it's best seasons ever and had a base of around 160cm! So, as the town was still covered in fog yesterday we decided to literally rise above at and go skiing. Good decision as the mountain was enjoying a total bluebird day. It took us a while to finally get our lift passes due to some bad sign posts but we finally got on the snow. I was expecting it to be epic but it was surprisingly tame. It had been sunny there for the last few days which had caused a bit of a thaw. The base had lost 5 cms but it was quite wet clumpy snow. It took us a few runs to get used to it but after a few runs we were flying around as usual. I shit myself on one run. I was skiing down past some less experienced skiers on quite a steep run. They stopped at the top of a big ledge, discussing just how big and scary it looked no doubt. I decided to show off and just gunned it off of the ledge. I easily flew around 20 feet, landed on the steep and shot off at break neck speed. I papped myself but managed to stop and maintain some grace. I took the time to wait for Kate and to check my pants just in case though.

We are also doing the hostel thing while we are here. Our hostel is pretty cool and we have our own room in a large 2 bedroom flat. We have our own living room and kitchen. We have a flat mate too but as yet we haven't met him. He seems to go out early in the morning and not get back in til really late. The walls are wafer thin and I'm sure my head is no more than 2 foot from the microwave on the over side of the kitchen wall. If i get a brain tumor, I'm gonna be so annoyed!

Today the fog has cleared and been replaced with rain. We were thinking of more skiing but it'll be puking up there so we decided to go check out a few beaches. As you do when it's pissing down. We stopped at both Seal Bay and Miracle beach and enjoyed a stroll through the forest. Vancouver Island is basically covered in forest and it feels like being on Endor, minus the Ewoks of course. It is beautiful here and it is a shame it is so wet and miserable. Still, when you come to a place at the end of winter, what else do you expect?

So i imagine we'll hit the slopes again a few more times before we head over to Tofino on the west coast. It's a place known for it's wildlife and whale watching but i think we are here too early in the season for that. We shall see. Right, the Olympics are on TV so I'm gonna enjoy them.

Peace

D

XXXX

Leave my heart? Maybe not.

Now i know that San Francisco has a thriving gay community but I'm pretty sure there weren't this many gay dudes last time i was here. My mum reckons it has something to do with it being Mardi Gras but maybe my gaydar has just improved since my last visit to fog city. I have absolutely nothing against gay men and have worked with and been around them for years but i have to laugh at the amount of guy liner that seems to be the norm these days. Man, these dudes must spend so much on make up and products. I could never be gay. Not just because of all the bum love but I'm pretty sure i couldn't afford it!

San Francisco seems so different this time. Way more congestion can be attributed to the fact that it has been a holiday weekend here but all i seem to hear is sirens. At least 4 or 5 a day. Also, we are seeing exactly why San Fran is known as Fog City. Last time i was here, it was never mentioned and i certainly didn't see any. This time however, every morning the city and bay area has been shrouded in pea soup. It's a strange phenomenon and it's so weird to see areas of the city in brilliant sunshine but not even able to see other parts due to the fog. The fog rolls in and out frequently throughout the day which really adjusts the temperature too. It makes deciding what to wear for the day a hassle as one minute you are sweltering and then freezing the next. Today was different however with some rather unseasonably warm (over 70 degrees) weather.

I have explored the city much more this trip. Last time i was here it was over Labour day weekend and there was a huge celebration and air show which obviously attracted a lot of tourists and made travel in the city a nightmare. Although i haven't walked nearly as far as i did last time we have been on the cable cars and got an open top bus tour ticket which covered 5 districts of the city, including Marin county which is north of the Golden Gate Bridge. It gave us a lot of freedom as the ticket was for 48 hours and the buses were pretty frequent. We did the usual city stuff, checked out china town, saw Lombard street (the zig zag street), went to fishermans wharf, saw the presidio and of course, checked out the Golden Gate bridge. Driving across the bridge was pretty amazing. It was also amazing just how different the landscape was across the bridge in Marin county. Much more greener with lots of sheer tall cliffs. Sausalito, which is a town we visited, was beautiful with lots of gorgeous houses overlooking the bay.

Other differences i have noticed include a health surcharge on unhealthy foods. I know that makes sense but since all i seem to eat at the moment is lard, it works out as pretty pricey. We noticed it after our trip to the cheesecake factory the other day. I picked out a slice of white chocolate caramel macadamia nut cheesecake which had an absurd 1243 calories! It meant that the whole cake would've been 20,000 calories! That's enough for 10 days. I guess when you make foods that have so much calories and trans fats in you need a health surcharge eh?

Today we went to the rock, Alcatraz. Now before i went all i really knew about Alcatraz was that it means pelican in Spanish and that the only people to have escaped from it were hollywood legends Sean Connery and Clint Eastwood. It was a daunting place made even worse by the sheer decrepid-ness of it. Parts of it have felt the full force of some harsh weather and are beyond repair. We did the audio tour through the cell block which was narrated by former guards and inmates. It was very intimidating being in the cells. I can't imagine how people survived not just the confinement, but all the violence and the constant threat of anal rape. Still, it seems downtown San Fran is no different these days!? In fact being on Alcatraz was probably the least likeliest place i was gonna be bum raped. That said, i was no way risking picking up any dropped soap in the shower block. I was also amazed they didn't have a starbucks or a Walgreens pharmacy on the island as the city has around 240 of them combined! Seems San Franciscans need a lot of coffee and drugs and don't like to walk more than 25 feet to obtain them.

We leave San Fran in the morning. The last time i was here i feel in love with the place but this time i don't feel as affectionate. Yes it is a truly unique and picturesque place with such a vibe and personality but although i have seen more of the city this time, it just feels unsafe. We have been through the Tenderloin area of the city which shows its sordid underbelly. Long lines for soup kitchens, pan handling and drug rehab. I know every city in America probably has this but i have never seen it before and it just made me feel uneasy. Just 8 blocks separate the poor from people shopping at Gucci and Burberry. It just doesn't sit well with me. Don't get me wrong San Fran is still one of my most favourite places in America and i urge anyone who hasn't been to visit. I would certainly come back as there is still so much to see and do. Seems i won't be leaving my heart here this time as Tony Bennett suggests in song but who knows for the future.

So we head north in the morning. Watching the winter Olympics on TV is certainly wetting my appetite for more snow and skiing. Mmmm, i can't wait.

Peace

D

XXXX

Flowers in my hair?

Hey hey, guess where i am. San Francisco. We have left the cold, clean city of Salt Lake and made our way west. Salt Lake City was awesome. It was such a small, neat little place. OK, so it was spread out over a huge valley but with a population of just 1 million, it seemed sometimes desolate. We went skiing a few more times to a resort called Brighton and then over to Park City to a resort called The Canyons. The Canyons is one of the biggest resorts in the US. It was almost too big for us though but i still managed to bump into a guy i worked with at Coronet! It was really bizarre seeing him again and i think we were both a bit shocked by it. He won the Coronet scholarship the season before last which meant he got a job at The Canyons last year, then worked again at Coronet before going back to The Canyons this season. I knew he'd be there but didn't expect to see him as it is a seriously huge resort. It was a nice place but the snow wasn't great. There was a really firm base under what little powder they had which made it a bit difficult at the top of the mountains. Brighton resort was insane though. By far the best resort i have been to. Loads of long, quiet tree runs and tons of snow. I don't know why but we both just fell in love with the place. Maybe it was just because it was truly beautiful. Even the little thin clifftop runs that Kate usually hates were pretty cool.

We left SLC in a blizzard. Typical as most of the ski resorts were in need of a fresh dump of powder, just as the day we leave. Oh well. We had a 8 and a half hour drive to Reno where we were staying the night just to break up the big drive to San Fran. Leaving SLC on highway 80 is similar to driving through a post apocalyptic war zone! Miles and miles of flat, smelly, boring salt flats. If it weren't for the mountains on the horizon i would have died of boredom and wrecked the car. The drive went surprisingly quick but i was so glad i had my ipod plugged into the car radio. American radio stations around Utah are not exactly atheist friendly. Every other station is about some dude called Jesus or his dad.

We made it to Reno by early afternoon. I don't think i was speeding much but managed to complete the 8 and a half hour trip in 6 and a half hours. First impressions of Reno were of a poor mans Vegas but with stunning snow capped mountains and hills overlooking what the locals call "The biggest little city in the world." We found our hotel, dumped our gear and headed down to the casino for some food. After the opulence and grandeur of Vegas, Reno is like a chav version. It is dripping in Elizabeth Duke compared to Vegas's Bulgari chic. The people in the casinos in Reno look like the holding pen of the Jeremy Kyle show! The waitresses in Reno looked like the fag smoking, heavy drinking mums of all the waitresses in Vegas. Not a fake titty in sight. The only thing about a poor mans version of Vegas was that it was cheaper to play poker but as it was a smaller low key place, they didn't have enough people to play a tournament. So we never got a poker fix. Shame as we were both really up for it, which usually means we do well. Poker can be a long, boring game and it is very easy to lose interest and concentration in it which means you get smashed pretty quickly. We have changed our plans a little so we might be able to get in a game before we get home. Instead of getting the bus up to Seattle we are gonna take a couple of days to drive it. We have planned to stop at a casino resort in Oregon which is on the way so hopefully will get in a game then.

We left Reno almost wishing we had planned a longer stay there. Certainly not for all the chavy casinos but because loads of ski resorts are just down the road at Lake Tahoe. The drive to San Fran was stunning. Almost as soon as you leave Reno you are in the mountains and the Tahoe national forest. The roads were quite sketchy and slick in places with snow and rain but the views across the mountains were pretty special. Lake Tahoe was gorgeous but by NZ standards it was almost ordinary. I guess living opposite Lake Wakatipu for 7 months has set the bar pretty high when it comes to lakes and mountain vistas.

So we arrived in San Fran yesterday and dropped off the car at the airport. Our hotel is in the heart of the city, in the hustle bustle of Union square. It is only a few doors away from the hotel i stayed at last time i was here. The weather is a lot warmer too. San Fran has a pretty steady climate all year long and it really varies between 50 and 70 degrees. We are here for nearly a week which gives us plenty of time to see the sights.

So we are here for Valentines day. I have out done myself on the romantic front for sure this year. The NBA all star game is on TV! Kate is a spoilt women eh? Bless her. She made me laugh this morning. Dirty dancing was on TV and Kate had never seen it. She booed her eyes out. I don't know why but i found that hilarious. I have never considered it a movie you would cry at. Maybe it was because Patrick Swayze is sadly no more.

Er, anyway we are off out to eat cheesecake at the Cheesecake factory overlooking Union Square in the sunshine.

Peace

D

XXXX

Utah Saints

Hey dudes. Greetings from Salt Lake City. Home of the Mormon church and host of the 2002 Winter Olympics. Er, and that's about it. Yet i love it here. This place is about as far away from Vegas as you can get, on a moral compass that is. They are only 500 miles away from each other geographically but as home of the Mormon church it is a far cry from the carnage of Sin City. It seems such a laid back chilled out place and is uber clean. We are staying south of downtown SLC not far from highway 215 or the belt route as it is called (it runs from east to west in the shape of a large smile that looks like a belt, i guess). I am so relieved that we have a car here. Although we are no more than a 3 minute walk to our local tram into the city, SLC is spread out over a huge valley, enclosed by tall snow capped mountains. Our car, or T.I.L.T as we have named it, is a huge white Jeep and has allowed us to explore the local townships and even get to some outlet malls. We called our car TILT for 2 reasons. One, because it is a poker term but mostly because it stands for Tiny Incey Little Tank. Not because he is a bulky jeep that handles like a tank but because the fuel tank in it is measly. On our drive over from Vegas we had only covered 100 miles and used half a tank of petrol! We pulled into a garage to fill up. I feared we had a huge 5 litre gas guzzling machine which would cost us hundreds of bucks in petrol but when i filled it up it only took $20. Handy as we are gonna be covering a lot of Terra firma in the next few weeks. I had forgotten just how much i love driving over here. Yes, it takes some people some time to get used to driving on the other side of the road but i seem to slot into it no problem. It helps as well that most American cars are just like driving huge golf carts. No clutch, no changing gears and very un-aerodynamic.

So, we were supposed to go to a skier only resort the other day called Alta. It is consistently ranked one of the top resorts in America so i was super excited about going. However, we never made it. Kate hurt her foot in Vegas and it has not got any better. Well, it has improved a little but she didn't want to risk hurting it more and ruining the rest of the trip. So we rested it a day and checked out the local area and did some shopping. The next day we decided to test her foot on some skis. We also decided to go to a smaller, quieter resort called Solitude. Again, another highly ranked resort. It was amazing! The snow was awesome. Fresh, dry, grippy and most importantly, lots of it. We skied a lot of easier runs to ease ourselves back into it before hitting a lot more steeper and more challenging slopes. We also ventured over to the little terrain park which consisted of a small jump, a bigger jump, a rail and a box. Not quite The remarkables but good for us. Kate even hit the little jump. Well, she rode over it but i was super amazed that she jibbed the box! I couldn't believe it. I told her that it was easy but thought she'd bottle it. She hit it with way too much speed, aired onto it, then aired off. She was well pleased with herself and hit it a few more times throughout the day. She'll probably turn into a right little park rat now. I'm very proud of her and forget sometimes that she is still a beginner.

We rode solidly for about 4 hours before calling it a day, not wanting to push it too much. We're not as flexible or as fit as we once were. We spent the next day nursing a few aches and strains but managed to get in some shopping. I decided i needed a change so treated myself to some new ski gear. Although the Dollar is not as weak as it once was against the pound, stores here are already selling this seasons stuff off cheap. The ski season doesn't finish for a few more months but there are end of season sales everywhere. I basically got a new jacket and new ski pants for around $150 cheaper than it should've been. Kate treated herself to a new beannie and touched about 37 pairs of ski pants she wanted but didn't buy, naturally. She took a spill at Solitude the other day and managed to slice her trousers with her newly sharpened edges. I had spent the previous afternoon tuning both our skis so they would run smooth. I imagine she will buy some new trousers eventually, especially since everywhere we will visit from now on will have a end of season sale.

I wanted to go skiing again today but Kate was still feeling rough so I decided to go on my own. I wanted to go to Alta but as the weather is a bit dodgy and it is a massive resort, i decided to go back to Solitude. It is our closest hill, and i knew my way around so wasn't going to be worried about getting lost in the bad weather. When i got there the weather cleared and i had an awesome day hitting the more advanced slopes i can't do with Kate and hitting the jumps in the park. It felt so good to be out there at the top of the world, just me and my music. Very relaxing but quite energetic all at once.

Hopefully Kate will feel up to some skiing tomorrow and i won't be too achy from all my exploits today. We haven't been converted to Mormons yet either. I'm keen to be fair but only because of the polygamy. I don't think I'd like all the church stuff. Plus the Mormons we met when we were in the city centre were super nice. Almost too nice for me, almost sinister. Their church was pretty impressive though and we got to see where the Tabernacle choir perform. I very much doubt i will be converted though so don't panic. I reckon I'd be kicked out after a few weeks anyway.

Anyway dudes, i have to chill now and enjoy the bible channel.

Peace, and may God be with you. Nah, it just doesn't sound right coming from me.

D

XXXX

What happens in Vegas......

So they say what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. If that's the case then this is gonna be one short blog. All i can say is that Vegas is INSANE!! The end

Peace

D

XXXX

Nah, just kidding. I did a little bit more than that. Our first night was pretty uneventful. We didn't finally get to our hotel til late so just went down for a few beers in one of the millions of bars our hotel had in it's huge casino. We also checked out a few games and how much the poker was to play. $60! Still, that's pretty cheap by LV standards. A lot of the other casinos in town are upwards off $100-400 to play. So after some rest and a day walking in the rain checking out the strip and dodging the thousands of touts trying to sell us tickets to shows, we headed back to our hotel to make use of the unlimited beer they serve for $20 between 4pm and 8pm, even better we got asked for ID! After 4 solid hours of drinking we decided to finally give the poker a try. I was amazed Kate went for it as is was obviously $120 for both of us, plus you have to factor in that Kate hasn't really played for that amount of cash. I think you have to be way more careful or "tighter" as we say in poker terms and Kate can be a little loose at times. My concerns were fair because Kate got knocked out pretty quickly. $60 down the toilet but i looked up and Kate was back at the table! In her drunken state she had decided to re-buy in for another $60! If i had even suggested doing that myself she'd have extracted my testicles from me via my anus and slung them under a bus! I didn't let it affect me though as she suddenly started playing much better and knocking people out. I finished 4th which i was pleased with but Kate went on a run of cards and flops i have never seen. She was hitting impossible outs and ended up knocking out a guy to get to heads up. The other guy she was playing offered to split the first and second place between them and i sighed in relief when Kate agreed. There was no way that luck of hers could continue. So in the end it was all good as she pocketed around $300.

After much high fives and both of us super happy, i recommended we hit the hay and call it a night. Kate wanted to celebrate though and refused to go to bed before having a cocktail. I didn't want to ruin her moment so we had a few more drinks and Kate polished off a couple of long island ice teas (her favourite cocktail). I felt surprisingly sober and got chatting to another English guy who had played poker with us and he convinced me to play again in the midnight tournament. Kate said she was gonna go to bed so i said i was gonna play poker. Kate then had a change of heart and wanted to play as well. Not good as by this time she was struggling to stand, let alone play poker in a casino in Vegas. I tried to get her to bed but she refused.

We sat down to play and paid our $120 entrance fees. Kate got knocked out again pretty quick but i played really well. Kate said she wanted to go to bed but i was kicking arse and was the chip leader. She then said she had lost her hotel room key so i had to take her. I asked her to wait until there was a break in the tournament. She sat by some slot machines but kept calling me on my mobile and texting me. I went over to her and told her to wait 7 minutes until the break.

When the break came she was nowhere to be found. I had 5 minutes to find her and get her to bed. I rang her and she said she was on our floor. I sprinted to the lift got upstairs and found her wandering around the corridor. I grabbed her, opened the room and finally got her to bed. I then ran back downstairs and made it to the table just in time. I continued my good play and was the chip leader when i got to heads up against this scary looking tattooed dude. I offered to split the money with him but he wanted to flip a coin. I was a bit pissed off with him as i wanted to make sure Kate was OK, plus it was now 3am. We flipped a coin and it came up that we would keep playing. I went super tilt and pushed all in on the next hand with pretty mediocre cards. The other guy called and beat me. It left me with not a lot of chips and it wasn't long before i was beat. 2nd place won me $200 which i was pretty damn happy about. I went up to bed, put my room key in but nothing happened. I was locked out!

I banged on the door for 20 minutes but couldn't wake up Kate. I went to reception and told them what was happening but the stupid arsehole women on reception told me that because the deadbolt was on the door i couldn't get in. I went back upstairs again to try and wake up Kate. After another 20 minutes of banging on our door, and waking up other people, that i had to apologise to, i gave up. I went back down to the casino fuming! I didn't know what to do. Should i just rent another room? Should i just wait in the casino til Kate woke up? NO, i decided i was going to go to a strip club!

I jumped in a taxi outside the hotel and headed to Spearmint Rhino. After a few more beers and a lap dance from a women with the biggest boobs in the place, i left $150 lighter in the wallet! It was now about 5.30am so i headed back to the hotel. I was pretty drunk by now but still didn't know what to do. As i walked to my hotel i noticed some stairs in the car park across the road. I strolled over and sat down to rest under the steps. Next thing i know i was being woken up by 2 security guards! I must have dozed off. I explained to them what had happened, that i was locked out of my room and that the lady in reception told me i was screwed. They walked me back to the hotel and told me they could get me into my room. Apparently the women on reception was wrong and they had a special key to get into any room. They said she would be fired for telling me that and making me sleep rough. I had to point her out but didn't feel in the least bit guilty. If she had just called security i would be in bed already and still with my poker winnings. Yes, i know i didn't have to go to a strip club, i don't really even like strippers! I hate the falseness of them. They will try anything just to get money out of you but i didn't know what to do and was very mad with Kate.

I finally got into my room at 6am. Kate woke up straight away which pissed me off even more as i had been trying to wake her up all frickin night! She insisted she didn't mean to put the deadbolt on the door but who knows in her drunken state. What a polarva!!

By the time i woke up i had calmed down a lot and started seeing the funny side of it all. Amazingly, even though we spent $500 that night, because we had done so well at poker, we broke even! Not bad really and to be fair, it was probably just another night in Vegas.

So after that night we calmed down big time and actually got out about and checked out the strip more. The weather suddenly became awesome, sunny but still fairly mild. I don't think there is anything in the world to prepare you for the sheer size and opulence of Las Vegas. Everything there is enormous. Some of the hotels are just a stunning combination of size and attention to detail. I have to say that Cesar's Palace was the most spectacular but it is a close call between that, The Venetian and The Bellagio. We had a nose around all the biggies and was blown away by all the marble and features.

Eating in Vegas is just as extravagant as the huge hotels. America is known for it's large portions but in Vegas, it is just ridiculous! All you can eat buffets seem to be the norm and it is so easy to see why there is a scary obesity problem here. That said, you haven't seen obesity until you get to a Vegas buffet. There is fat and then there is Vegas buffet fat. These people were huge! Rolling around the place, their love handles over hanging their mobility scooters with plates full of fried chicken and prime rib. Really really messed up! It isn't just the buffets either. The Nascar cafe near us sold a 6lb burrito! That's like eating a baby! If you ate it in 90 minutes or less, it was free. Crazy!

Another thing i got super excited about was when i saw a sign offering $1 BJ's! I got very excited until i realised it meant $1 black jack. Damn it! Although, apart from all the hotties that work in the numerous strip clubs Vegas seems to be the home of the B.O.B.F.O.C (body off baywatch, face off crimewatch!). Loads of gorgeous bodies topped off with old haggard swamp donkey faces. Think Amy Winehouse but with bigger boobs and more wrinkles.

Vegas was certainly a 24 hour party town with the option to get into a lot of expensive trouble. People stroll the strip with huge yard long cocktails strapped to them shaped like towers, skyscrapers or guitars, at like 10 am. People stand on street corners handing out thousands of prostitute call cards (prostitution is illegal within the city limits but legal in the state of Nevada). And of course there are casinos everywhere. I half expected to go for a piss in a toilet and find a slot machine above the urinal. Vegas could really be an amazing place. In some areas it is clean and super modern but in others you have to wade through thousands of hooker call cards all littered on the floor. It does exactly what it offers and Sin city is such an apt name. It certainly isn't what i would call a family place yet i saw children everywhere. The strip is like being immersed in a huge adult orientated theme park but i liked it. Although sex and gambling seems to be thrust into your face everywhere you go, you can avoid it, if you try really hard.

We left LV blown away by the size of the place. We decided to hire a car after all and have now made the short 6 hour drive to Salt Lake city in Utah. The drive over was uneventful and the scenery was stunning. Miles and miles of nothing at one point then a stunning red rock gorge cut through the mountains. Salt Lake city should be a lot quieter, especially since it is home to the Moomins. remember those little white hippos from back in the day? Well, apparently 80% of Utah are little white hippos but i haven't seen any yet. Kate thinks I'm confused. She keeps telling me it is home of the Morons! We'll just have to see.

The great thing about SLC so far is the scenery. We are high up in the mountains and there is snow everywhere. Sweet. I can't wait to get up into them and ski my arse off. We're off to Alta tomorrow to see how we get on. Kate has hurt her foot so we will see how we do.

So, if sex, gambling and excess is your thing, then Vegas is for you. My cousin is planning her 30th birthday there. I want to go but fear for my wallet. Gulp. That's still over a year away so i think i'll just focus on my current travels. I'll keep you posted Y'all.

Peace

D

XXXX

Viva Las Vegas

I had forgotten just how crazy the US and A actually is. In 11 months in NZ I think I saw one crazy dude. It was on the first day we bought Biff. It was hammering down with rain but we decided to drive him to a local beach just to get a feel for him, and to double check he was waterproof. We sat overlooking this huge bay in the rain very happy with ourselves but after a while I needed a wee. I ran across the parking lot to the public toilets through the rain and barged my way into the mens loo, only to be greeted by some crazy Maori dude wiping his butt! I about turned and got the hell out of there but the crazy dude started shouting at me. I swiftly hid/used the ladies toilet next door but while washing my hands I could still hear the loon in the mens shouting and crashing about. I ran back to Biff but it was a good 10 minutes before the nutcase emerged and staggered off through the rain. Seriously though we never saw one other loony for the whole time we were there. America, however, is a lot different from NZ.

Here it is literally packed to the rafters with the mentally unstable! (see what happens when you don’t have an NHS?) We have already seen a bum fight, which I of course found hilarious. We got the bus to Ocean beach to check out what this side of the pacific looks like and had a wander along the cliff tops and past the shops. There were tramps everywhere! I have been to America enough to know they have a huge homeless problem over here but in that short stretch of beach it was like tramp-opolis! We kept ourselves to ourselves, dodged the vast clouds of marijuana smoke and got through it as quick as we could. I couldn’t help but stare though at these two hobo’s going at each other over a reportedly stolen 5 dollars. It was a bit one sided to be fair with the smaller tramp kicking the larger younger tramps arse before the cops pulled up and broke it up. You can totally see how bum fighting became an internet phenomenon a few years back. But I guess this is par for the course when you ride the bus over here. I’ll tell you more about that in a bit.

We have left San Diego now and I am writing this from my hotel room in "The Meadows" or Las Vegas as us non Spanish speakers know it. We pretty much scoped out the whole of San Diego before we left though. Well, we did as much as we could do in the short time we were there. We went to the gas lamp district again and gave it a more thorough inspection, hit up Seaport village and Balboa park and also checked out the world famous San Diego Zoo. I only wanted to go and see Marcel the monkey who used to be Ross’s pet in friends, but after of hours roaming around the monkey section, he was no where to be seen. I was actually a little disappointed with the zoo. Don’t get me wrong, you will have to go a long way to see such a diverse collection of animals in one place but there was just something a bit too cramped about it all. It is spread over a huge expanse of land yet the animal enclosures just felt too small for the animals in them. I felt sorry for the animals, as I do in most zoos, but more so for them not being able to stretch out. The bears for example were in these tiny enclosures, even the pandas. I think I noticed it more because only a few weeks ago we were at Auckland zoo were I was impressed with just how big the animal enclosures were. They didn’t cram in too many animals either. At San Diego they had about 10 yakins (buffalo like animals from China) in a space about as big as my old back garden. These were big animals too. I just felt sad for them. For all the animals really. I know zoos do a lot of breeding programs and have brought some species back from the brink of extinction but I just feel that that work should be done away from their exploitation. OK, save the California condor but don’t charge me $35 to watch you do it. I know that without zoos people wouldn’t be able to see such exotic and endangered animals but it just doesn’t sit right with me. Kate didn’t think much of it either but only because they didn’t have penguins!

The weather turned for the worse again the day we left. The storms had passed and for a while we had some sun but yesterday it all went to shit again. Not a problem really as we spent the day in transit. I hadn’t really considered just how much of a problem it is dragging so much gear around. We left our hotel and walked the relatively short 20 minute walk to the Old Town transit centre but when you are lugging nearly 100 lbs of gear it suddenly becomes a nightmare. Kate had to keep stopping because her elbow (?!) was killing her whereas my hands and shoulders felt strained. We got our bus and struggled on with our big cases and ski bags before the usual comments of "What’s in the bag?" or "You going skiing?" from the bus crazies. We caught the greyhound bus which zoomed us away from San Diego north to San Bernadino. Or maybe that should be called San Murder-dino! What a fucking shit hole. We got dropped at the bus terminal in the outskirts of town where we had a supposed 50 minute layover. I headed out of the terminal to check the surrounding neighbourhood for places to eat but I only got to the corner of the block before fearing for my life and going back to what I thought, was the safety of the terminal. It was rough out there. Derelict buildings, graffiti and dodgy looking characters everywhere. I was back at the terminal maybe 5 minutes though before a fight broke out in the mens bathroom. Well, some dude tried to mug some guy. We were sitting chatting when we heard all this shouting and saw two men come crashing out of the mens onto the floor. Some dude was on top of another pounding the crap out of him. I jumped up, much to Kates dismay who thought I was going to go break it up, and went and grabbed the security guard who I had seen outside when I returned to the terminal. He rushed in and tried to grab the mugger but he just smiled this evil ass smile and sprinted out through a door. He chased him but came back 10 minutes later empty handed. The police arrived a few minutes later and gave us all "scum of the earth looks" before taking the muggee for questioning and to identify a guy matching the muggers description that had been picked up a few blocks away. All pretty frickin scary stuff. I just hope they caught the guy. What a dick! I know they say how some people do these things out of sheer desperation but come on, a bus terminal? Had this guy not seen the dregs who ride the bus? Your not exactly gonna bump into Donald Trump are you? The dude who got mugged can’t have had more than ten bucks and lint in his pockets. I had told Kate about the types that travel on the bus here but it was a real eye opener for both of us. We both looked at each other and said "Hire car?"

The rest of the journey went smoothly though and the guy on the bus next to me said it was a California thing and not to expect the rest of the states to be like that. We chatted for a while about travelling and it was quite refreshing to meet an American who had seen the world. You hear so many tales of the huge percentage of yanks who don’t own passports or that so many people die within 20 miles of where they were born but this guy had seen it all. He had been in the navy as a youngster but when he got out he just kept on going. He’d lived in the UK and in Asia but hadn’t been to NZ. He was on his way home to Boston as he had had his work van and all his tools stolen in Santa Barbara (another California thing apparently). He was gonna be on that bus from Tuesday morning until Friday morning! Screw that! The air fare was only $100 more!

We got in to LV late last night as our bus got a bit delayed in all the rain and trouble in San Murder-dino. Again, the trip from the bus terminal to our hotel was fun with all our gear and of course filled with nutters. Some tramp at the bus stop gave us the third degree and another rough women entertained us on the bus with her speech about god. We dumped our gear in the room then headed for a much needed beer in the casino downstairs. Man this place must have a huge lekky bill! Every hotel is strewn with lights and neon and it’s all 24 hours. I’m looking forward to checking out sin city though and maybe even playing a bit of poker. Well, I already won at video poker. We were walking back to the room last night and I couldn’t resist sticking in a dollar. Played one hand, won 8 bucks. Hopefully a sign of things to come. Yeah right, my next blog entry will be hand written on a napkin because I lost the lap top in a game of craps!

Anyway, I will let you know. I’m off to look at hire car prices.

Peace

D

XXXX