I want a Doosh bag!

Howdy y'all. Not sure why i started this entry as a cowboy. Anyway, life in Q town is good. Since my last entry, i haven't been up to a great deal. I did go to a little town called Arrowtown the other day though. It's an old gold mining town from back in the day that hasn't changed and has kept it's old pioneer characteristics. It has an autumn festival which Kate had been wanting to go check out all week. When we finally got there, i must admit it was a bit rubbish. The town is pretty small but surrounded by awesome golden autumnal trees, but there just isn't anything there except little tourist trap boutiques. Kate was keen to go as she is looking for potential birthday presents. So, i had to be trawled all around these small chintzy shops and give my opinion on jewellery and bangles which all looked like they had been made in daycare centres by people who are either borderline mongloid or on some sort of work release program from the local prison. There were a few nice little pieces to be fair including the bracelet she eventually purchased.

A pleasant surprise was a photography gallery. Some of the pictures were truly stunning and made my puny attempts at photography look like finger painting! This guy was so talented. He was sat smuggly behind the counter telling a couple how he achieved the dark indigo hues on his "Ocean at Midnight" piece (he basically did some fancy exposure thing and used slide film!?). It did give me some inspiration for when i next get the camera out though. Another surprise i noticed as we were leaving the photo gallery. The shop next door was a clothing shop called Doosh! I laughed my arse off and had to stop myself from going inside. All i wanted was to see if they gave you a plastic bag with "Doosh" written on it. Imagine that, i could carry it everywhere, waiting for the perfect comedy moment to reveal my Doosh bag! Well, it made me laugh quite a bit, but then i do have the mindset of a ten year old. Doosh bag. It still makes me smile.

Most of my time though is consumed with trying to amuse myself as the job offers are far from inundating me. Kate is still working at the jet boat company. As far as i can tell, she is enjoying it but doesn't like getting up at 6:30am. But then, who does? Well other than my mum? She made me laugh the other day. We went to bed and she set her alarm to get up for work in the morning but it seemed that as soon as i had fallen asleep her alarm went off. I was very confused but Kate soon realised she had somehow set her alarm for 11:30pm instead of 06:30am. An easy mistake, i guess, if you are a Brooks! Yeah, so she works 3 days a week but is hoping for a few more hours. I heard back from a ski rental shop in town the other day but all they said was that they would contact me later in the week. It's encouraging as not only is it an area I'd love to work in but it's the first sign that the winter season jobs are starting to come up.

Crap, if all else fails i might start a man-whore business! Brothels are legal in NZ and i do have a spare room. In fact, it might be perfect as the room already has a sex dungeon in the walk in wardrobe! Cool. Although, there probably isn't much call for an overweight balding man whore. Especially in a town where most of the guys are between the ages of 18-30. They are all walking hormones with long surfer style hair and golden tans. I look like a couple of pigs wrestling in a pillowcase in comparison. I could easily regale a women with comic tales and witty conversation which is one advantage i have over these young buff dudes but, who orders a man whore for conversation? Oh well, back to the drawing board.

I have also been looking for things around town i can do to pass time, other than frisbee golf. I saw an ad the other day for a winter boot camp. Lose weight and get in shape for the ski season. Sounded awesome until i read the small print and realised that it was 6am - 7:30am three times a week and cost nearly $400! Doh! So i have been sticking to poker. We went to 3 tournaments this week and have started to notice familiar faces and have got talking to a few people. After my awesome exploits last week at the table i was pretty confident this week. That was until i got knocked out first in the first tournament! Now, for anyone who has played in a poker tournament, getting knocked out first is not only pretty humiliating but it means that you then have to wait fricking ages until your buddy/wife/lover gets knocked out. It did teach me a valuable lesson on being a patient player and helped me get to the final table of the other two tournaments. Pretty good i thought and it did feel good when people you don't know come up to you and say "well played" or "nice cards." Kate seemed to enjoy herself too. The last tournament we played in was at the Surreal bar that i played well in last week. It's really well set up and is real popular with the locals. When i mentioned this fact to Kate she got a bit nervous but put in a really good show. When we got home she was buzzing about it and spent the next afternoon reading about poker tactics online. It is fun and the best part is that the tournaments are free to enter so all you pay for is your drinks. Most of the bars do drinks specials too so we were getting quite drunk and only paying $3.80(£1.40) for beer. Sounds pretty sweet to me. Kate has banned me from playing in cash games though which is fair enough. I mean, i lucked out last week in winning $110 and know that the chances of me winning that sort of money again is slim. I'm not really a gambler anyway, i hate wasting money. So don't panic people I'm not about to change my middle name to "Vegas" and start listening to Kenny Rodgers. A guy i played against last week had his ipod on and someone asked what he was listening to. He replied that he was listening to Kenny Rodgers to which i replied "Why? Not even Kenny Rodgers would listen to that shit!" Luckily it went down well and the guy saw the funny side of it.

The banana milk addiction is still a problem. I'm up to 2 litres a week. I'm kinda worried that my BMI (Body Mass Index) is seriously gonna be affected by my BMI (Banana Milk Intake). I keep telling myself that it is ok because it is 98% fat free. Yeah shame it probably has as much sugar as a 6 pack of fully leaded Coca Cola! I'm also just waiting to wake up one morning, go to the bathroom and notice in the mirror that i have turned bright yellow. I'd look just like big bird from Sesame Street with Hepatitis! Although i could use that. Wear pink leg warmers and pretend to be one of those statue street performers or get work as a childrens party entertainer. Just need to learn how to make poodles out of balloons. Hmmm, it might just be an option but for it to really work I'd need to up my consumption of banana milk. Oh no, sounds like the addiction really has me! I'm gonna be like Amy Winehouse. On the front cover of the Sun newspaper downing a pint of banana milk in the back alley of a Soho nightclub! Or having to burgle houses to feed my addiction. I'll be wandering the streets of London when a car load of my family pull up and bundle me into the back for an intervention! Or in Rehab sitting in a circle of other addicts. "Darrell, have you had any milk today?" they'd ask. I'd reply "No." "Then why have you got a yellow milk moustache?" I'd be thrown into solitary! I'd set myself on fire trying to free base milk like Richard Pryor!

It's a long slippery slope but i know i can beat it. Hey guys, got milk?

Peace

D

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Poker and biffing Biff

I have already mentioned the healthy poker scene they have here in Q town. Kate and i decided to have another shot at the tournament they run at a bar called the rattlesnake. We both played last week and to be fair, put in a pretty poor showing. This week i met Kate after work, parked up Biff and we headed to grab a quick bite to eat before the game started at 8pm. We found a supposedly English pub called the Pig and Whistle and had a drink there before heading over to the rattlesnake. We got into the game and i ended up finishing 2nd and winning a $40 voucher for the bar and restaurant. I also managed to hammer my way through the best part of a keg of beer! One of the guys i had played against invited me to another tournament at another bar called Surreal which, in my drunken state, sounded like a really good idea. Kate decided to call it a night and drive Biff back as she had work the next day. I stumbled over to the bar but had to wait an hour before the actual game began so i decided to kill time drinking more beer and chatting to anyone who sat next to me. I was chatting to this American girl when i suddenly realised i was there to play poker and that the game had already started. I managed to get my chips just in time and hit the tables. It was a far professional set up with a little LCD TV telling you when the blinds (compulsory bets) were changing and the tables themselves were very posh. I did OK and made it to the final table again but got knocked out in 3rd place. The guy who had invited me to the bar then asked if i was willing to join a cash game that they were planning. I was a little dubious but it was only 20 bucks to enter and i was really quite drunk at this point so i said yes. I don't know how many people were playing but there was action on 4 tables and each table had between 8 and 10 people playing. I won't bore you with the details but 3 hours later i had won $110 dollars by finishing third again. I staggered out of the bar at around 3am and managed to find a taxi which dropped me home.

The next morning i awoke still drunk and it wasn't until the afternoon that i finally got dressed to go and collect Kate for her 4 hour lunch break that she gets! She works funny hours. As i got dressed i recollected a text message i had got from Kate during my poker adventure which said she had hit Biff and dented him when she tried to park back at our place. Well, when i got out to inspect the damage it was a little bit more than a dent! She had somehow managed to hit one of the support struts of the carport we park Biff under and scrap some paint off and gouge out a good sized piece of the sliding back door. It's probably not as bad as i make out but i was quite annoyed. That said, i had been out til the wee hours boozing it up and playing cards so i couldn't really be mad. I picked up Kate who sheepishly got into the van and apologised for biffing Biff. I said it was fine. She then informed me she was really tired as she hadn't slept and when i had got home i had kept her awake apologising for ages and then tried to pee in our walk in wardrobe! Not intentional i assure you! I sometimes do weird things when I'm a little tipsy. Oh dear. Not even the fact that i had won some money seemed much comfort and i was well and truly in the dog house.

The job situation here is starting to get me down a bit too. I got a call from The Warehouse saying i didn't get the job which i was actually quite pleased about but have now realised that there isn't really a lot of work here at the moment. I don't want to pin all my hopes on the ski field but i haven't heard anything either from any of the other jobs i applied for. It's not necessarily the money but I have been stuck in the house bored for the last few days while Kate has been at work and there is only so much Internet porn a man can watch! No, i have been watching movies and playing guitar waiting for the phone to ring. It's all a bit boring at times. I mean i spent 10 minutes earlier watching a wasp on my balcony get dangerously close to a spider web. I could see the spider sitting in the web and kept wondering which would win in a fight? I mean the wasp was pretty big and has a sting but the spider has the element of surprise and shits silk! Too close to call. I might have to catch a wasp now and throw it into the web just to see what happens. I could film it and put it on youtube or something.

Yeah so it's all a bit of a catch 22 at the moment. I want to be out doing things but that tends to cost money, money which could best be used paying rent and feeding my addiction to banana milk. I might have to start walking into town to play frisbee golf or something on a regular basis. It's free, it's exercise and it gets me out of the house and away from www.greasybumsex.com (don't follow the link - it's not a real website, i just made it up cos it sounds funny, you pervs!). I suppose i can only do that until the weather turns but hopefully I'll be employed and/or skiing by then (crosses fingers, closes eyes and says a small prayer). I also think Kate is feeling a little bit of pressure as she is the sole breadwinner at the moment. If she loses her job then we would still be able to afford the rent but it eats up funds which we have ear marked for other things and further travels. I know it will all change here in a month or so as the winter season starts to kick in, the summer workers leave and more jobs become available. It also sees another big influx of people looking for jobs for the season though. Groan. I'm sure it'll all be fine and to be honest I'd rather be unemployed here staring at mountains all day then stuck on the A40 at home taking an hour to travel 25 yards! Who knows maybe I'll start working on a screenplay! Yeah like i have interesting things to say! Oh wait, i do. Hence the blog i guess.

Anyway peeps, I'll keep you informed of any changes and give constant updates on my fight to beat banana milk addiction.

Peace

D

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Jet boats

So, we are finally settling into our house/apartment in Q town. Kate starts her job tomorrow with the Dart River Jet Boat Safari people which she is really looking forward to. She rang them the other day to confirm that she wanted the job and her boss said that she will need to experience some of the trips that they offer and before we knew it they had booked us a day on the jet boats! I came back from my run to find Kate super excited that we were going jet boating, for free! Not bad considering it usually costs $200! So, the bus came and picked us up from the main bus stop on the main road outside our housing block and, after picking up another 35 people form Q town, whisked us off to the tiny town of Glenorchy which is about 45 km from Q town. When we arrived the staff were all waiting for Kate and greeted her as we went in. The trip they had booked us in for was a 4x4 bus tour out to the river then a walk through a forest and then a jet boat ride back to Glenorchy. In all, it would take about 5 hours! The 4x4 bus journey was awesome. It was very off road and across small rivers with commentary from Stu the driver who was a little bald Maori dude. He stopped and told us all about the area and pointed out locations that were used in the Lord of the Rings movies, which he said he found rather dull. When we stopped for our trek through the forest, we were attacked by about a billion frickin sandflies! I had almost forgotten about them as Q town doesn't seem to have any of the little winged bastards.

The forest trek was brief and eerily quiet. Stu, our guide told us that due to the introduction of mammals such as stoats and weasels, the forest had pretty much been cleared of birds. It wasn't until he said this that it suddenly seemed really bizarre and very sad that there were no birds singing. We walked to the river and met Matt who was our jet boat captain. We all climbed aboard and me and Kate sat at the back as apparently you got thrown around more in the back, great! We then whizzed up and down the river in as little as 4 inches of water in places! Jet boats rule! They are so quick and really manoeuvrable. Matt was constantly finding deep areas of water so he could do 360 spins! They were fun but also managed to drench my camera. After a full 90 minutes on the river whizzing about and spinning around i must admit i got a bit cold and bored. I felt that it was all a bit too much and seemed to drag on and on. It didn't help that the weather was rubbish. We luckily avoided most of the rain and i was relieved to get back to the warmth of the jet boat building. Kate picked up her uniform then we got bused back to our apartment. It was an amazing day really. The Dart River safari is different from all the other jet boat experiences they offer here. For a start it's fricking hours long but it is more concerned with the conservation of the area. Other jet boat companies just hare about narrowly missing rocks and scaring the shit out of everybody! It suits Kate and i know she is dead keen to get started.

The rest of the week has been filled with more job hunting and interviews. I had my interview at The Warehouse but i kinda hope they don't offer it to me. It's way more hours than i want to work but i'll take it if they offer it and keep hunting around. Handed in my CV at a local pharmacy who were looking for a part time assistant. I'm much more suited for that and hope it all comes to something plus it's less hours which frees up more time to go skiing when the snow comes!

We also walked the track into Q town along the lake the other day. I dreaded that it was gonna be mileage but before we knew it we were in town. It only took about an hour. We literally stopped for a drink then pretty much headed straight home again. Saw a dog playing in the lake and had never realised that dogs can hold there breath and swim under water! We both were amazed and watched this dog dive under the water and pick up stones from the bottom. It was way cool.

We also walked into Frankton and joined the video store there. After, we stopped for a drink in the pub, waiting patiently for happy hour. When it finally came i ordered 4 beers for us. The lady came over with our drinks and asked if we were meeting friends. Kate said No, the beers are just for us two. The lady just sort of smiled awkwardly and shuffled away. Jeez, can't she spot alcoholics when she sees them? It was a good night and we got the bus home and woke up with pretty heavy heads this morning.

Kate starts work tomorrow and it will be the first day i have had to myself since we left the UK all those months ago. Thank god we have the internet in our place now. Well, we have it at times. I think we must be miles away from the wireless router as it's sometimes like having the internet from 1998! It's super slow and suddenly just disappears every now and then. Will try and upload some pics but not sure if it will let me.

One thing i keep forgetting to mention is that i think everyone should be reading Huglekuir Dagsson cartoons! I read about him on the flight over and they have a few of his cartoons on the wall in Harrys pool bar. Holy crap they are hilarious! Pretty sick but really funny. Kinda like a very crude dumbed down version of Gary Larsson. Go forth and spread the word people!

Anyway guys, chat soon.

Peace

D

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Good news

Ok, first things first………….we have a home! We’ve moved in and everything. The actual process of renting somewhere was real easy. All we needed to do was go into the real estate office, hand over a ton of cash and sign a lease then hey presto! It’s ours for a minimum of 6 months. We have only been in the house/apartment for 2 days but so far I am absolutely over the moon with it. The only real issue is that, like most Kiwi homes, it doesn’t have central heating! Apparently Kiwis buy separate electric or gas heaters and move them into the rooms that they are in. We do have the added bonus of under floor heating in our bedrooms and bathroom (although it doesn’t seem to be working in the bathroom) so if it gets really cold in the winter we can always make a tent out of duvets and sleep on the snug warm floor. The front room and kitchen are open plan but split-level and are both frickin freezing! The kitchen is south facing and gets a bit of sun throughout the day but not enough to warm the whole huge room. We have bought ourselves a little electric fan heater which so far warms up the front room quite nicely. It’s still fairly mild here though so we will see what happens as the temperature drops as winter descends. The other cool thing about the house is that it has it’s own Joseph Fritzel style sex dungeon! In the walk-in wardrobe of our spare bedroom there is a little door which leads into a little dark room under the front room. I tried to play hide and seek with Kate but she knew about the sex dungeon already and found me easily. Might have to jazz it up a bit with some whips and gimp masks but it is awesome!

Met a few of our neighbours too. We have an English couple next door to us. Bloody travel half way around the world and end up with bloody English neighbours! Well, they seemed quite nice in the very brief interaction we had with them as we were busily moving our gear in. The other neighbour gave us a welcome we won’t forget in a hurry. The day after we moved in we had to go to Warehouse to pick up a few bits and bobs and when we got back to the house there was the guy from a few doors down standing stark bollock naked in the car park with a beer in hand! It was midday! He saw us and ran back indoors but to be fair if I was as gifted in the groin area as this guy was, I don’t think I’d ever wear clothes either. He was mahoosive!! I practically had to rugby tackle Kate to the floor to stop her chasing after him! Well, not quite. We both just stood there laughing. I thought it may have been a Kiwi thing but as he ran into his house I heard him and a friend laughing and chatting in very English accents. Looks like we have moved into Albert Bloody Square! The best thing about the new place though is that, unlike living in Biff, I haven’t hit my head once!

Other awesome news is that Kate has been offered a job. She had interviews with a jet boat company that organise trips on the Dart River and they phoned her last night to offer her the job. She has to ring them this morning to confirm she’s gonna take it. She is a bit concerned that it is only 3 days a week but I think that’s perfect as it helps pay the rent and frees up plenty of time to go skiing and stuff. I’m actually quite jealous and wished I had applied too. We are here on holiday after all and I don’t wanna be working all the time. Especially since I now know Kate will be off for 4 days a week, probably skiing her ass off, while I be stocking shelves at Warehouse. We’ll see. We also applied to be volunteers for the NZ Winter Games. A sort of warm up to the Winter Olympics that they are having here in August. It means we could be up there helping out as marshals, or helping set up the courses or even filming it for TV. Could be fun and could get us up close and personal with some pro riders and skiers. Kate has already considered helping out on the 2 days that I’ll hopefully be working. I have my interview for Warehouse on Tuesday morning. The lady who called said she was keen to see me quickly but what with moving into the house and it being Easter (Stupid Jesus), I had to wait until Tuesday. Wish me luck. I haven’t heard back from the camera shop so not really holding out much hope for that and the jobs at the ski resort still don’t hold interviews for another couple of weeks. So all I can do is sit and wait for now.

The rest of our time this week has been filled with a few activities. We played extreme mini golf which was fun. It was indoors which helped on a particularly wet day and very different to any mini golf I had played before. On some holes you putted your ball through a hole before seeing it then travelling on a little chair lift or gondola before being deposited on another area of the course. It was super cheesy but killed an hour or so. We have found a cool little pool bar too called Harrys pool hall. It’s has overpriced beer but cheap pool and awesome laid back music. We had a few games the other day before sitting in front of its awesome open fireplace and reading the local papers while listening to MGMT and Café Del Mar. Reminded me a lot of the type of music Big H would listen to. In fact it would have been a very Big H type bar if they served nice food. A big slab of his awesome lasagne would’ve gone down a treat as the snow/sleet/hail fell outside. Could be a big business opportunity for us mate!? We also discovered that Q town has a bit of a Texas hold ‘em scene and a lot of the bars offer tournaments on various nights. We entered one the other night and did ok. Kate out lasted me and in the end the girl who knocked us both out ended up finishing in 2nd (winning a $40 food and bar tab). Not bad considering she works in a flippin casino! We had intended to go back again the following night but Kate wasn’t feeling well but I hope it’s something we do often as it was a lot of fun and we got to meet a few of the locals.

On the one half-decent weather day we have had this week we went and played Frisbee golf over in Queenstown gardens. It’s free if you have your own Frisbees, which we had bought the day before. Queenstown gardens are a massive park which is on a peninsula that juts out into the lake looking back towards the town. It has some amazing trees there including a huge pine forest. The Frisbee golf plays through most of the pines. All you do is stand on the tee and hurl your Frisbee towards the target which are either posts or metal baskets. I did quite well managing sometimes to fling my disc over 70 metres! Kate did not so well sometimes managing to fling her disc under 7 metres and even managing to somehow end up with her Frisbee behind her on occasion! Needless to say she needs a bit more practice.

Yesterday (Good Friday) was a gorgeous day here with clear skies and quite warm so we decided to head up Bobs Peak on the gondola and ride the luge runs they have up there. It was awesome! You have a chair lift that takes you to the top of the runs where you sit in little go-kart type things before hurtling down 2 tracks. You have to ride the more mellow scenic track first to prove you can control your speed and that your not gonna fly off the course and crash causing sudden and very painful death before you can ride the extreme course with its banked corners and hairpins. It was great fun once you got the hang of driving them and it wasn’t long before we were flying around the banked curves on two wheels whooping and hollering at Japanese tourists in our way. In the afternoon we went for a walk along the Frankton track which is a 8km path along the lakeside that connects Frankton to Q town. We only headed into Frankton and back from our flat but when the weather is nice we’ll walk the whole track.

Another awesome discovery is Nashi pears. We have had these a few times but I have always forgotten to blog about them. They are fruit which is a cross between an apple and a pear. They are lush! So refreshing and light. It’s like biting into sweet crispy air. Shame they don’t have them back home. Or if they do, it’s a shame I don’t know about it.

Anyways, I’m off out for a run along the banks of Lake Wakatipu. Chat soon.

Peace

D

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A roof over our heads............YAY!

Whoa, for a laid back country things can move pretty fast here. No sooner had i finished my last blog entry and handed in our references to the real estate people we got a call telling us we have the flat and can move in tomorrow! The lady in the agency had initially said she thought we'd have to wait until after Easter to hear anything, especially since the guy who owns it lives in Australia. Well, they must have liked us or lady luck must have been distracted by a fluffy squirrel or something and stopped firing bad luck at me for a while. We are absolutely over the moon. I cannot describe how cool this apartment is. It's super modern, well laid out and in a pretty good location with a great price. It means we will have to trek into town or to wherever we actually get jobs but there is a reliable bus service here that stops right outside the apartment complex. Plus we have already scouted out the night buses that run from midnight til 5 am and go straight past the apartment complex for when we head into town for a wee drinking session. Er, meaning a small drinking session. Not actually drinking wee.

We have decided to move in on Thursday as it gives us a bit of time to get the electricity all sorted. Plus we paid for a week at the campsite upfront as we never expected to get somewhere this quick.

Biff has well and truly started to show us his bad side with all this. The leak we had when we first got him from the hot water tank is back with a vengance and one of the shelves above our little sink fell off today too! All very small things really. I just hope he's not brewing some sort of massive mechanical failure or brakes malfunction on a steep mountain road to really spit his dummy out! We love you really Biffster. Our little Biff-meister. Who's a good little van? (said in a cute voice whilst tickling under Biffs dashboard)

Kate also got a call from the jet boat company and has an interview tomorrow. It'll only be for 3 days a week but should contribute quite nicely to the rent and may get me a free jet boat ride on the dart river. She has been reading up on everything to do with jet boating in preparation. Did you know jet boats can run in as little as 3 inches of water? All pretty impressive stuff.

As if the day couldn't get any better, it's been snowing on the mountains! In town it's just been raining constantly but in the occasional breaks in cloud we can see an awesome white dusting on the Remarkables (the big mountain range on the other side of the lake). There has been a noticeable chill in the air today and i reckon it's our first day in single figures, temperature wise, since we got here. I'm super psyched to see some snow as it is probably my most favourite thing. Well, apart from that other thing that involves taking your clothes off (ahem). And no, i don't mean swimming.

So today has been pretty decent. It has pee'd down all day but didn't dampen our spirits one bit. Wow, i sound amazingly optimistic. Shit that's not right. Oh no, it probably means that Russia is going to invade New Zealand and give everyone monkey AIDS or there will be a huge earthquake and the ski resort will be sucked into the core of the Earth and instead of skiing I'll have to start collecting cheese labels or every interview i have i will get rejected from and I'll have to resort to selling my body. I'll be standing on street corners with my nuts out shouting "Feed the birds, tuppence a (ball) bag!" or something. I have already prophesized that i will break my leg on the first day the ski season starts and I'll spend the whole season in a wheelchair, like some sort of Rear Window Hitchcock-esque type scenario. Ah, pessimism. I'm just so much better at it.

I'm quite sure everything will be fine really..........maybe. I'll let you know guys.

Peace

D

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Q town

So Wanaka was awesome. In fact so awesome we decided to stay there a few extra days. It helped that the campsite was really cool with free hot tubs, saunas and DVD rental. So managed to add to my collection, even copying the "copy protected" DVDs to the laptop (Ssshhh, don't tell). The extra days we spent in Wanaka were very chilled. We had good weather so went for some walks along the Clutha river (one of NZs biggest) and hiked up to Diamond lake over by Glendhu bay. The lake was actually quite pathetic compared to Lake Wanaka, more like a pond than a lake. Pretty steep climb up to it but i decided to climb up this cliff as it promised me views out over Lake Wanaka. The climb was knackering! I mean proper heart pounding, sweat dripping, coronary inducing tiring! Got to the top and the view over the pond was rubbish. The view over lake wanaka was another 30 minutes climb so i decided to sack it after about another 10 minutes. Did manage to get a picture of a corner of the lake but decided to head back down to a waiting Kate.

Wanaka sure was amazing. I think we lucked out going there this time of year because the small resort was quiet and the autumn bloom on the trees contrasted amazingly with the blueness of the Lake and the sort of blueish tinge it gave to all the surrounding hills and mountains. It helped again that the weather was stunning with only the last day being overcast. No problem though as we watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I had seen it before and thought it was all a bit too poncey but this time it blew me away. Only because most of it was filmed around this area. Queenstown in particular boasts lots of locations that were used in the movies. You can even go on a Lord of the Rings tour, if you are a bit of a geek or a virgin!

We left Wanaka for the relatively short trip to Queenstown, or Q town as we have dubbed it. The journey was fine until we got just outside Q town and the road went all spastic! Proper hair pin turns up and down severe mountain slopes. I knew we were high up as i could see Kates white knuckles gripping the side of Biff every time we got remotely close to the edge of the road. Needless to say, Biff didn't enjoy it.

Queenstown is a lot bigger than Wanaka. They often get compared, i think because of there close proximity but they are very different towns. Well Q town officially must be a city as it has a Starbucks! It's a more alpine looking place. Wanaka is in the mountains but the town itself is relatively flat and most of the trees were birch, beech and horse chestnut. Q town is far from flat. The mountains seem to just drop straight into Lake Wakatipu and the town seems to be sort of perched on the side of them. The main street is the only flat part really. Our campsite is right at the base of Bobs peak, which is a small mountain that you can get a gondola (cable car) up to and get views out over town and the lake. We haven't had the time or the weather to venture up there yet. Our site is very modern and is edged by a huge pine forest which gives everything a sort of Canadian/Pacific northwest of America feel. Especially since it has rained near enough constantly for the 3 days we have been in Q town. It reminds me of Forks in the The Twilight movie (see it and definitely buy the soundtrack!). All misty and rainy. I can't really complain though as it's the only proper rain we have had since we've been in NZ.

I imagine we will get around to all the sightseeing/tourist stuff eventually but we are very occupied with house and job hunting at present as Q town is hopefully going to be our new home for the next 6 months. We have probably come here at the worst possible time really as it is a very quiet time of year and NZ, like the rest of the world, is in a recession. All good fun eh? That said, we have applied to 3 job agencies who all echoed our concerns about the lack of work and have applied to a few places where we saw vacancy signs. We also have sent our applications of to the ski resort of Coronet Peak but they don't start interviewing until May. I got a promising boost yesterday when i saw a help wanted sign in a camera shop in town. I dropped my CV off and filled out an application at 10.30 am and they called me in for an interview at 16.30! Pretty quick. The interview was very informal and went well. The manager of the store is a guy from Cornwall so hopefully i might get preference, being English. We chatted for a while about living in NZ and he seemed impressed with my knowledge of cameras and the fact that i own a Canon Powershot G10. He did have a huge stack of application forms on his desk though so i don't know if i will get it. On my way out of the store i stopped to have a look at the cameras they sold and saw mine there for £150 cheaper than the UK! I of course didn't pay full price for mine as i am a crafty sod who got £250 off the list price. Good old insurance company.

We also applied for jobs at a huge store called Warehouse. It's kinda like Wal Mart but they don't really sell food. I applied for the inward goods vacancy so technically i could be working in the warehouse of Warehouse! Again though, we'll see what happens. Kate also handed her CV into a company that run jet boat trips and do white water rafting which i hope she gets so i can get cheap white water rafting trips!

The house hunting venture seems a lot more amicable. The good thing about Q town is that it's pretty big and there is a lot of accommodation around at the moment. This will all be snapped up over the next few months as people descend here to work for the winter season. We went and saw a few places yesterday and was totally blown away by the first place we saw. It is out of town on the main road between Q town and Frankton. Over looks the lake and is fricking huge! It's a 2 bed place that is split over 4 levels with an open plan main area with the kitchen overlooking the living area (so Kate can throw me down beers!) and views of the lake. Cheap too at $300 a week. Well, cheap by UK standards. We have applied for it as they don't do a first come first served policy here. You have to provide references and sort of win the chance to live in the flat. Frustrating but hopefully we will get it. Keep them crossed people!

Kate thinks all the house hunting must have annoyed Biff as he decided to spring a leak the other night. From the vent above us where we sleep. He effectively wet the bed! It probably has more to do with the shit load of rain we have had. I have managed to stop the leak for now but can't get onto the roof to seal the gap until the rain bloody stops. Hopefully Biff will be fine. If he continues to wet the bed I'm sure I can get him some sort of nasal spray to help. Poor Biff, only 18 and already showing signs of incontinence!

So we might be off the radar for a little bit as we are busy trying to secure jobs and a place to live and hopefully meet lots of new friends. I'm all excited but anxious at the same time. I'll keep you posted.

Peace

D

xxxx

Wanaka, colours are calling me.......

Franz Josef glacier was a blast. I am still recovering from all the activity. I made the fatal error of waking up on the morning of our kayaking trip full of energy and fancying a run. Now, I haven’t run since we were in Raglan about a month ago and haven’t what I’d call seriously run since my triathlon which was back in September. Whatever, I thought, these love handles ain’t gonna loose themselves on their own, much to my dismay and constant prayer. It was a glorious sunny morning so I thought I’d just take a gentle jog into town and back which was about 3k. Not too taxing, or so I thought. Most of the run was in the shade from the rainforest along the roadside and relatively flat considering we are in the mountains. Made it to town with no real bother but the temperature was rapidly increasing in the morning sun. By the time I got back to the campsite I was near death! It was scorchio! Managed to not collapse when I got back to Biff and went and had a nice cool shower. We weren’t being picked up to go kayaking until 4pm so thankfully I had a fair old time to recover.

We got picked up and driven a few miles down the road to Lake Mapourika. The lake is unusual in that it isn’t a glacial lake so the water is not sparkling blue and clear. In fact the water was black. Odd, but cool as it has the effect of being an almost perfect mirror. Unfortunately the bright sunny morning had progressed into a nasty overcast day so the tops of the mountains and the glacier weren’t visible from the lake. We got all sorted and into our double kayak and shoved off into the huge lake. It was bloody hard work as the crossing was into a fairly stiff breeze and it seemed at times as if we weren’t actually moving. After some sluggish time though and some quite choppy waves we made it over to a secluded bay on the other side of the lake. Well, secluded except for our group of about 20 kayakers, a few ducks and the usual ten billion sandflies! It was beautiful though and once we got into the bay and out of the wind the mirror effect of the black water was clear to see. Our guides encouraged us down a small inlet and further into the forest. They regaled us with facts about the local wildlife and the history of the area. They also showed us a cool trick with sandflies. Apparently, when you have a sandfly biting you, if you pinch your skin either side of its head it can’t detach it’s mandibles from you and eventually explodes! I’ve yet to try the theory and am so smothered in insect repellent I doubt I’ll get the chance to give it a go very soon.

We stopped at a point on the river where there was a large pool before the guide made us kayak back down the river one by one to get a good snap of us mirrored in the lake. While we waited the rest of the group got eaten alive by sandflies. Some had managed to get into the kayaks and were attacking peoples ankles. One Swiss girl said she was desperate for socks which I misheard and blurted out to the group that I thought she was desperate for sex! Swiss people don’t have a sense of humour apparently. Our English guide thought it was pretty funny.

On the way back we hit our stride and I decided to blast the crossing back across the lake. Kate was very disgruntled by this as she couldn’t keep up with my stroke so she decided to just relax and let me bring us home. Amazingly I started to overtake some of the smaller kayaks as people started to tire. We stopped though before we got back to shore as I realised that getting in first would mean a lengthy wait for everyone else and put us at the mercy of more sandfly attacks. We also saw a nice sunset so decided to just float on the serene lake and watch it while people overtook us. Such a shame we weren’t allowed to bring cameras. Our guide had one though so got some snaps of us looking like dicks with sticks sitting in a big lilac kayak. Tight!

When we got home I thought I had probably overdone it with the kayaking as my shoulders were starting to ache a wee bit. Didn’t have much time to worry about it though as I feel asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

The next morning I struggled out of bed and was super stiff, but not in the scrotal zone. I was so tense across my back and neck. Guess I paid the price for being a bit over enthusiastic with the kayaking. We had a 10.30 glacier trip booked though so had to get ready and head into town. We got all our gear provided for us including hiking boats, crampons and a snazzy blue waterproof jacket. There were 26 of us so it was quite a big group. We got our bus, which would take us to the car park at the glacier. It was then a 3k hike to the foot of the glacier across some pretty sketchy terrain. The flat valley was treacherous with lots of rocks and unsure footing whilst the hike through the bush had steep waterfalls to climb up and slippery rocks everywhere. We made it to the foot of the glacier and were amazed at the sheer scale of it. It was immense! The guides then split us into 2 groups, an elite group and a donkey group. Kate insisted I joined her in the donkey group with all the other numpties which I wasn’t that impressed with, what with being a native West London Mountain goat. I thought the going was gonna to be tough but once we got our crampons on and actually started to walk on the ice I thought it was a doddle. Especially since the guides had conveniently cut big steps everywhere. However, the rest of our group were a bunch of right donuts. It was so bloody slow! The only thing that kept me sane was watching the old 55-year-old granny from Switzerland hobble and nearly fall at every opportunity. There was also a simple Australian guy in front of Kate who I swear had a satellite delay between his brain and his feet. He was shocking! It was almost as if someone had removed his feet and attached delicate Christmas tree baubles which he was scared to break to his ankles instead! I had a suspicion he was blind in one eye too as his depth perception was way off. He tripped up nearly every large step and had to sit down to descend tiny steps. Total nightmare! The glacier itself was awesome though and I’m gutted that we didn’t go for the full day experience and make it higher up into the really blue parts of the glacier. I managed to sway my disappointment though by putting glacier ice down Kates back which surprisingly she didn’t find very funny. Overall the hike was over 6 hours and I was pretty beat by the time we got back to Biff and cracked open a well earned beer. Kates blisters are a sight to behold whereas, I as per usual, have avoided them.

The glacier at Franz Josef was stunning. I am loving the south Island so much more than the north. The scenery is just beyond amazing and I am running out of superlatives for it all. Everything on the south Island is just so much bigger and more dramatic. We left the glacier this morning and drove all the way to Wanaka. It was our longest drive yet, at around 300km, but also I think one of our most scenic as we took the Haast pass through the Mt. Aspiring National park. We stopped along the way at Lake Matheson and got amazing snaps of Mt. Cook, NZs largest mountain, reflected in the black lake. The scenery was pretty special but I was truly blown away when we got to Lake Wanaka and Lake Hawea. The Lakes were perfect azure and looked crazy nice with all the earthy yellows, browns and greens of the surrounding hills and mountains. But it is the autumnal bloom of the trees that truly make this area unique. There are lots of ‘British’ trees here such as beech, sycamore and horse chestnut. It also helped that there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. Abso-titty fucking-lutely stunning!

Wanaka itself is a tiny but great little town. We stopped for lunch and a quick wander around the shops before making our way up to our campsite. When we arrived they informed us that we were the only people booked here for the night and had the run of the spa and sauna. Sweet! So I spent a fair old chunk of the afternoon soothing my aching body in the hot tub and the sauna. I debated getting naked as we were the only people here but decided against it just in case a large German woman appeared and saw my twig and giggle berries. I’m sure she’d turn away laughing shouting "Sehr klein! Ist sehr klein." Not sure what we will do in Wanaka as there aren’t that many activities which can’t be done in Queenstown. We’ll probably just use the time to recover before getting all crazy again when we get to Queenstown and hopefully our home for the winter.

I’m really starting to miss everyone from home. I’ve been away for nearly 2 months now which is the longest time I’ve ever been away. New Zealand doesn’t feel like it is on the other side of the world either but to quote the Kaiser Chiefs "oh my god I can’t believe it I’ve never been this far away from home!" It’s mainly at night when I am alone with my thoughts that they unsurprisingly drift all the way to home, and to the people I love. I really can’t describe how much I am missing you guys. You know who you are! I know though that you are on the other end of a phone though if I need a fix and I apologise that I probably don’t ring you enough. Having no reception for the 4 days I was in Franz Josef were purgatory and I was constantly worried that I would miss a text or call. Hopefully when I settle in Queenstown I’ll have a bit more time to call and tell you how much I miss you and that I think of you always. Even when I’m relaxing in a hot tub after a hard days sight seeing.

Anyway, I hope you are all enjoying the blog and haven’t tired of it yet. Chat soon.

Peace

D

xxxx