I think I have finally completed another chapter of my book - How to embarrass yourself in public. This chapter is to be titled Chaos with condiments. Around 10 years ago i was in Toronto on the last day of a two week holiday. It was a glorious summers day so Kate and I decided to go to a quite posh restaurant down on the pier over looking Lake Ontario. I ordered a cheeseburger if memory serves and when it arrived at my table i reached for the ketchup and mustard. I squeezed the mustard but none came out. I squeezed harder but still no mustard. Thinking there must've been some kind of blockage i proceeded to give the mustard a squeeze of titanic proportion! There then followed a loud POP and my meal and my shirt where then covered in yellow goo. It turned out i needed to twist the top of the mustard bottle to open it before squeezing. Oops! The waitress found it hilarious as she brought over handfuls of napkins to help me clean myself up.
Now, you would've thought i would've learned a valuable lesson there and would now show all condiments the utmost respect. I don't know why, maybe it's just a Canadian thing but i managed to one up myself yesterday. We have made our way to the quiet little seaside hamlet of Tofino on the west coast of the island. The drive across the island was extremely scenic, especially since it was dumping snow up on the mountains and hills. When we got to town it was a little too early to check in to our hostel so we parked the car and walked down to the dock to hunt for somewhere to eat lunch. We found a cute little cafe overlooking the estuary and the small islands in the inlet and ordered our food. I ordered a philly style beef sandwich and got down to soaking in the amazing view. When my sandwich arrived i reached for the ketchup bottle and gave it a good old shake to loosen its thick contents, not realising the bottle lid wasn't done up. I managed to spray red sauce all over my face, hoodie and the floor. Kate wet herself when she saw what i had done. I feverishly grabbed my napkin and tried to clean up my mess. Kate eventually calmed down and i started to see the funny side of it. I had to really try and keep a straight face though when the waitress walked past our table and slipped on some ketchup. She recovered and gave me a funny look. I turned away and tried to focus on the view.
I don't quite know why i seem to be so unlucky when it comes to these sorts of things. At least i can see the funny side of it. Our meal was made even nicer because as we were getting ready to go the waitress informed us that a pod of killer whales had just been spotted heading this way. I excitedly jumped up and ran off to the car to get my camera as Kates feeble excuse for a camera doesn't really zoom in. I sprinted back up the hill, stopped at the top to stop myself from puking up my lunch but managed to grab my camera and make my way back to the sea front. I was greeted by Kates smiling face telling me i had missed them! I must have only been gone a few minutes but i guess the whales where in a hurry. Bugger! Typical eh? Oh well, there were only 4 orca so i wasn't too gutted.
So, before all the ketchup drama and the trip over to Tofino, we went skiing again up at Mt Washington. They had had nearly 15cm of snow the day before and it really made a difference. The snow was awesome! We skied most of the day before the low cloud made it really difficult. I even lost Kate on one run. She lost the trail and got stuck in deep snow. I waited ages for her but visibility made it impossible to see anything so i skied down and jumped back on the lift up to see if i could ski down to her. We managed to meet up back at the base building and all was well. I doubt i will ever ski in snow that deep. The base is still increasing and at last check was nearly 480cm!!
So we are here in Tofino now. Our hostel turned out to be closed for the season so we decided to get a room at a nice hotel down the road. It over looks MacKenzie beach and is only about 20 feet from the sand. On our way to Tofino we noticed loads of Tsunami evacuation route signs and on further research we found that this area averages around 1200 earthquakes a year!! That said, we enjoyed a nice stroll along the beach at sunset and examined the rock pools. Imagine how we felt this morning after we heard there was an earthquake in Chile and that the pacific rim was on Tsunami alert! Perfect! Our beach got closed and we were warned by our reception to stay off the beach this afternoon. Apparently we were going to be hit by half a metres waves. However, just like the tsunami warning that was issued after the NZ earthquake we experienced, the waves were tiny and of no concern. Still, pretty cool.
We are only here until the morning before i have to drop the car back in Nanaimo. Good riddance and all! Not only has the ABS broken but the indicators decided to stop working too the other day. We get the bus down to Victoria where we stay for a couple of days before heading back to the mainland. I'll be sad to leave as it is so beautiful here on Vancouver Island. The forests are so green and lush. Moss and lichen seem to cover everything and give it an even more organic feel.
Anyway, better go. It's my turn to wave watch. Kate is worried we'll get washed away but i'm sure we'll be just fine. Hell, if we do get washed away, at least i might get a chance to see some bloody killer whales!
Peace
D
XXXX
Saturday, 27 February 2010
Tuesday, 23 February 2010
O Canada
Since my last blog i have changed countries and travelled a further 1040 miles to add to my ever increasing total for this past year and a bit. I am up in Vancouver Island in a little town called Courtenay. This part of the world is in the spotlight at the moment as the winter Olympics are not too far away. The trip here was pleasant and included a few stop overs. We first stopped in a small town in Oregon called Canyonville. Oregon was stunning! As we entered the state from California we were greeted by Mt Shasta and the surrounding national park. Very scenic with lots of pine trees over shadowed by the tall snow capped mountain. We only stayed in Canyonville to break up the drive and the scenery following our stay there was not nearly as dramatic. When we got to Seattle though we were greeted by some amazingly unseasonal weather, warm and sunny. It certainly improved my experience of Seattle from last time where it seemed such a grey drizzly place. I could totally see why Kurt Cobain killed himself. I thought he probably did it more because of the bad weather and not the pressures of following up one of the biggest selling albums of that era. This time Seattle only seemed to throw off positive vibes and i was able to appreciate the beauty of the surrounding area. We did the usual touristy stuff and went up the space needle and checked out Pike Place Market. The Space needle seems so dated now and isn't even the tallest building in Seattle anymore but it is a must see and on such a clear day it allowed us amazing views out over the bay and to the Olympic mountains in the distance. Pike Place market was buzzing with the weekend hustle bustle and our noses were filled with scents of freshly baked produce and flowers. Last time i was there i was most taken aback by the cheap flowers you can buy there. This time, although they seemed a wee bit more expensive i was blown away by the sheer beauty of the arrangements. We wandered around the market and dined on Polish pastries. I declined to spit on the window of the original Starbucks coffee shop this time though, global corporation conglomerate thieving shit-on-the-little-guy bastards that they are!
I must say that i had been a bit sceptical about going back to Seattle but I'm really glad i did as it was refreshing to see it in a new light, sunlight. We gave our car back, reluctantly. It was a pontiac Vibe and was easily the most European car i have driven here. It was super fast too with oodles of torque (puts Jeremy Clarkson voice on) and was easier to park than the usual American cars which are similar to parking the QE2, whilst blindfolded. We had to take the bus from Seattle to Nanaimo on Vancouver island as it was way cheaper and included the ferry crossing. We got to the bus station and prepared to pay all the excess baggage they charge for ski bags but the dude there said they don't charge to go to Canada. Sweet! We waited in the bus station with the usual dregs of American society with people begging, swearing loudly and the constant stench of marijuana. The bus pulled up and we all bundled on. Our fellow passengers looked surprisingly normal except for one guy who just would not shut up. He was so loud and talked to everyone. I must have heard him tell people he was meeting a friend in Vancouver to go check out the Olympics about 40 times. I couldn't help but laugh when he got stopped at border patrol and turned back. Our bus driver said she knew he was going to be trouble and thought he wouldn't get in. Wow, it seems Canada is like a posh nightclub.
We stopped in Vancouver and watched the hundreds of people walking around with painted faces and draped in Canadian flags. The Candian mens hockey team were playing the USA team so the town was buzzing. I only left the bus station to go to an ATM and was swamped by the masses of people on there way to the hockey game. I made it back safely and we only had a short wait to get our bus. The trip over to Vancouver Island was beautiful as the weather was perfect. The sea was dead calm and the sun was shining. We docked and jumped on the bus for the short trip to the bus depot. I then had only 15 minutes to go and get our hire car. I managed to find the place and pick up the car. We have hired from a place called "rent a wreck" and when i was shown to the car i could see they weren't lying. I looked over the oldsmobile piece of shit and laughed to myself. Oh well. I picked Kate up from the bus station and her face when she saw the car was one of total disdain. We loaded up the car and made it only 5 miles out of town before the ABS light and traction control fault lights came on. I contemplated driving it back but knew they were closing as i picked up the car so decided to carry on regardless. We drove the short, in comparison to previous drives, 120 kilometres to Courtenay. I have no idea what the town looks like as it has been smothered in fog for the last few days. I know the weather in these parts can be a tad extreme but it would be nice to actually see where we are staying.
The main reason we are staying in Courtenay though is because of it's close proximity to Mt Washington. At the moment it has the deepest snow in the world with a 465cm base. To put that into some sort of perspective, Coronet Peak had one of it's best seasons ever and had a base of around 160cm! So, as the town was still covered in fog yesterday we decided to literally rise above at and go skiing. Good decision as the mountain was enjoying a total bluebird day. It took us a while to finally get our lift passes due to some bad sign posts but we finally got on the snow. I was expecting it to be epic but it was surprisingly tame. It had been sunny there for the last few days which had caused a bit of a thaw. The base had lost 5 cms but it was quite wet clumpy snow. It took us a few runs to get used to it but after a few runs we were flying around as usual. I shit myself on one run. I was skiing down past some less experienced skiers on quite a steep run. They stopped at the top of a big ledge, discussing just how big and scary it looked no doubt. I decided to show off and just gunned it off of the ledge. I easily flew around 20 feet, landed on the steep and shot off at break neck speed. I papped myself but managed to stop and maintain some grace. I took the time to wait for Kate and to check my pants just in case though.
We are also doing the hostel thing while we are here. Our hostel is pretty cool and we have our own room in a large 2 bedroom flat. We have our own living room and kitchen. We have a flat mate too but as yet we haven't met him. He seems to go out early in the morning and not get back in til really late. The walls are wafer thin and I'm sure my head is no more than 2 foot from the microwave on the over side of the kitchen wall. If i get a brain tumor, I'm gonna be so annoyed!
Today the fog has cleared and been replaced with rain. We were thinking of more skiing but it'll be puking up there so we decided to go check out a few beaches. As you do when it's pissing down. We stopped at both Seal Bay and Miracle beach and enjoyed a stroll through the forest. Vancouver Island is basically covered in forest and it feels like being on Endor, minus the Ewoks of course. It is beautiful here and it is a shame it is so wet and miserable. Still, when you come to a place at the end of winter, what else do you expect?
So i imagine we'll hit the slopes again a few more times before we head over to Tofino on the west coast. It's a place known for it's wildlife and whale watching but i think we are here too early in the season for that. We shall see. Right, the Olympics are on TV so I'm gonna enjoy them.
Peace
D
XXXX
I must say that i had been a bit sceptical about going back to Seattle but I'm really glad i did as it was refreshing to see it in a new light, sunlight. We gave our car back, reluctantly. It was a pontiac Vibe and was easily the most European car i have driven here. It was super fast too with oodles of torque (puts Jeremy Clarkson voice on) and was easier to park than the usual American cars which are similar to parking the QE2, whilst blindfolded. We had to take the bus from Seattle to Nanaimo on Vancouver island as it was way cheaper and included the ferry crossing. We got to the bus station and prepared to pay all the excess baggage they charge for ski bags but the dude there said they don't charge to go to Canada. Sweet! We waited in the bus station with the usual dregs of American society with people begging, swearing loudly and the constant stench of marijuana. The bus pulled up and we all bundled on. Our fellow passengers looked surprisingly normal except for one guy who just would not shut up. He was so loud and talked to everyone. I must have heard him tell people he was meeting a friend in Vancouver to go check out the Olympics about 40 times. I couldn't help but laugh when he got stopped at border patrol and turned back. Our bus driver said she knew he was going to be trouble and thought he wouldn't get in. Wow, it seems Canada is like a posh nightclub.
We stopped in Vancouver and watched the hundreds of people walking around with painted faces and draped in Canadian flags. The Candian mens hockey team were playing the USA team so the town was buzzing. I only left the bus station to go to an ATM and was swamped by the masses of people on there way to the hockey game. I made it back safely and we only had a short wait to get our bus. The trip over to Vancouver Island was beautiful as the weather was perfect. The sea was dead calm and the sun was shining. We docked and jumped on the bus for the short trip to the bus depot. I then had only 15 minutes to go and get our hire car. I managed to find the place and pick up the car. We have hired from a place called "rent a wreck" and when i was shown to the car i could see they weren't lying. I looked over the oldsmobile piece of shit and laughed to myself. Oh well. I picked Kate up from the bus station and her face when she saw the car was one of total disdain. We loaded up the car and made it only 5 miles out of town before the ABS light and traction control fault lights came on. I contemplated driving it back but knew they were closing as i picked up the car so decided to carry on regardless. We drove the short, in comparison to previous drives, 120 kilometres to Courtenay. I have no idea what the town looks like as it has been smothered in fog for the last few days. I know the weather in these parts can be a tad extreme but it would be nice to actually see where we are staying.
The main reason we are staying in Courtenay though is because of it's close proximity to Mt Washington. At the moment it has the deepest snow in the world with a 465cm base. To put that into some sort of perspective, Coronet Peak had one of it's best seasons ever and had a base of around 160cm! So, as the town was still covered in fog yesterday we decided to literally rise above at and go skiing. Good decision as the mountain was enjoying a total bluebird day. It took us a while to finally get our lift passes due to some bad sign posts but we finally got on the snow. I was expecting it to be epic but it was surprisingly tame. It had been sunny there for the last few days which had caused a bit of a thaw. The base had lost 5 cms but it was quite wet clumpy snow. It took us a few runs to get used to it but after a few runs we were flying around as usual. I shit myself on one run. I was skiing down past some less experienced skiers on quite a steep run. They stopped at the top of a big ledge, discussing just how big and scary it looked no doubt. I decided to show off and just gunned it off of the ledge. I easily flew around 20 feet, landed on the steep and shot off at break neck speed. I papped myself but managed to stop and maintain some grace. I took the time to wait for Kate and to check my pants just in case though.
We are also doing the hostel thing while we are here. Our hostel is pretty cool and we have our own room in a large 2 bedroom flat. We have our own living room and kitchen. We have a flat mate too but as yet we haven't met him. He seems to go out early in the morning and not get back in til really late. The walls are wafer thin and I'm sure my head is no more than 2 foot from the microwave on the over side of the kitchen wall. If i get a brain tumor, I'm gonna be so annoyed!
Today the fog has cleared and been replaced with rain. We were thinking of more skiing but it'll be puking up there so we decided to go check out a few beaches. As you do when it's pissing down. We stopped at both Seal Bay and Miracle beach and enjoyed a stroll through the forest. Vancouver Island is basically covered in forest and it feels like being on Endor, minus the Ewoks of course. It is beautiful here and it is a shame it is so wet and miserable. Still, when you come to a place at the end of winter, what else do you expect?
So i imagine we'll hit the slopes again a few more times before we head over to Tofino on the west coast. It's a place known for it's wildlife and whale watching but i think we are here too early in the season for that. We shall see. Right, the Olympics are on TV so I'm gonna enjoy them.
Peace
D
XXXX
Wednesday, 17 February 2010
Leave my heart? Maybe not.
Now i know that San Francisco has a thriving gay community but I'm pretty sure there weren't this many gay dudes last time i was here. My mum reckons it has something to do with it being Mardi Gras but maybe my gaydar has just improved since my last visit to fog city. I have absolutely nothing against gay men and have worked with and been around them for years but i have to laugh at the amount of guy liner that seems to be the norm these days. Man, these dudes must spend so much on make up and products. I could never be gay. Not just because of all the bum love but I'm pretty sure i couldn't afford it!
San Francisco seems so different this time. Way more congestion can be attributed to the fact that it has been a holiday weekend here but all i seem to hear is sirens. At least 4 or 5 a day. Also, we are seeing exactly why San Fran is known as Fog City. Last time i was here, it was never mentioned and i certainly didn't see any. This time however, every morning the city and bay area has been shrouded in pea soup. It's a strange phenomenon and it's so weird to see areas of the city in brilliant sunshine but not even able to see other parts due to the fog. The fog rolls in and out frequently throughout the day which really adjusts the temperature too. It makes deciding what to wear for the day a hassle as one minute you are sweltering and then freezing the next. Today was different however with some rather unseasonably warm (over 70 degrees) weather.
I have explored the city much more this trip. Last time i was here it was over Labour day weekend and there was a huge celebration and air show which obviously attracted a lot of tourists and made travel in the city a nightmare. Although i haven't walked nearly as far as i did last time we have been on the cable cars and got an open top bus tour ticket which covered 5 districts of the city, including Marin county which is north of the Golden Gate Bridge. It gave us a lot of freedom as the ticket was for 48 hours and the buses were pretty frequent. We did the usual city stuff, checked out china town, saw Lombard street (the zig zag street), went to fishermans wharf, saw the presidio and of course, checked out the Golden Gate bridge. Driving across the bridge was pretty amazing. It was also amazing just how different the landscape was across the bridge in Marin county. Much more greener with lots of sheer tall cliffs. Sausalito, which is a town we visited, was beautiful with lots of gorgeous houses overlooking the bay.
Other differences i have noticed include a health surcharge on unhealthy foods. I know that makes sense but since all i seem to eat at the moment is lard, it works out as pretty pricey. We noticed it after our trip to the cheesecake factory the other day. I picked out a slice of white chocolate caramel macadamia nut cheesecake which had an absurd 1243 calories! It meant that the whole cake would've been 20,000 calories! That's enough for 10 days. I guess when you make foods that have so much calories and trans fats in you need a health surcharge eh?
Today we went to the rock, Alcatraz. Now before i went all i really knew about Alcatraz was that it means pelican in Spanish and that the only people to have escaped from it were hollywood legends Sean Connery and Clint Eastwood. It was a daunting place made even worse by the sheer decrepid-ness of it. Parts of it have felt the full force of some harsh weather and are beyond repair. We did the audio tour through the cell block which was narrated by former guards and inmates. It was very intimidating being in the cells. I can't imagine how people survived not just the confinement, but all the violence and the constant threat of anal rape. Still, it seems downtown San Fran is no different these days!? In fact being on Alcatraz was probably the least likeliest place i was gonna be bum raped. That said, i was no way risking picking up any dropped soap in the shower block. I was also amazed they didn't have a starbucks or a Walgreens pharmacy on the island as the city has around 240 of them combined! Seems San Franciscans need a lot of coffee and drugs and don't like to walk more than 25 feet to obtain them.
We leave San Fran in the morning. The last time i was here i feel in love with the place but this time i don't feel as affectionate. Yes it is a truly unique and picturesque place with such a vibe and personality but although i have seen more of the city this time, it just feels unsafe. We have been through the Tenderloin area of the city which shows its sordid underbelly. Long lines for soup kitchens, pan handling and drug rehab. I know every city in America probably has this but i have never seen it before and it just made me feel uneasy. Just 8 blocks separate the poor from people shopping at Gucci and Burberry. It just doesn't sit well with me. Don't get me wrong San Fran is still one of my most favourite places in America and i urge anyone who hasn't been to visit. I would certainly come back as there is still so much to see and do. Seems i won't be leaving my heart here this time as Tony Bennett suggests in song but who knows for the future.
So we head north in the morning. Watching the winter Olympics on TV is certainly wetting my appetite for more snow and skiing. Mmmm, i can't wait.
Peace
D
XXXX
San Francisco seems so different this time. Way more congestion can be attributed to the fact that it has been a holiday weekend here but all i seem to hear is sirens. At least 4 or 5 a day. Also, we are seeing exactly why San Fran is known as Fog City. Last time i was here, it was never mentioned and i certainly didn't see any. This time however, every morning the city and bay area has been shrouded in pea soup. It's a strange phenomenon and it's so weird to see areas of the city in brilliant sunshine but not even able to see other parts due to the fog. The fog rolls in and out frequently throughout the day which really adjusts the temperature too. It makes deciding what to wear for the day a hassle as one minute you are sweltering and then freezing the next. Today was different however with some rather unseasonably warm (over 70 degrees) weather.
I have explored the city much more this trip. Last time i was here it was over Labour day weekend and there was a huge celebration and air show which obviously attracted a lot of tourists and made travel in the city a nightmare. Although i haven't walked nearly as far as i did last time we have been on the cable cars and got an open top bus tour ticket which covered 5 districts of the city, including Marin county which is north of the Golden Gate Bridge. It gave us a lot of freedom as the ticket was for 48 hours and the buses were pretty frequent. We did the usual city stuff, checked out china town, saw Lombard street (the zig zag street), went to fishermans wharf, saw the presidio and of course, checked out the Golden Gate bridge. Driving across the bridge was pretty amazing. It was also amazing just how different the landscape was across the bridge in Marin county. Much more greener with lots of sheer tall cliffs. Sausalito, which is a town we visited, was beautiful with lots of gorgeous houses overlooking the bay.
Other differences i have noticed include a health surcharge on unhealthy foods. I know that makes sense but since all i seem to eat at the moment is lard, it works out as pretty pricey. We noticed it after our trip to the cheesecake factory the other day. I picked out a slice of white chocolate caramel macadamia nut cheesecake which had an absurd 1243 calories! It meant that the whole cake would've been 20,000 calories! That's enough for 10 days. I guess when you make foods that have so much calories and trans fats in you need a health surcharge eh?
Today we went to the rock, Alcatraz. Now before i went all i really knew about Alcatraz was that it means pelican in Spanish and that the only people to have escaped from it were hollywood legends Sean Connery and Clint Eastwood. It was a daunting place made even worse by the sheer decrepid-ness of it. Parts of it have felt the full force of some harsh weather and are beyond repair. We did the audio tour through the cell block which was narrated by former guards and inmates. It was very intimidating being in the cells. I can't imagine how people survived not just the confinement, but all the violence and the constant threat of anal rape. Still, it seems downtown San Fran is no different these days!? In fact being on Alcatraz was probably the least likeliest place i was gonna be bum raped. That said, i was no way risking picking up any dropped soap in the shower block. I was also amazed they didn't have a starbucks or a Walgreens pharmacy on the island as the city has around 240 of them combined! Seems San Franciscans need a lot of coffee and drugs and don't like to walk more than 25 feet to obtain them.
We leave San Fran in the morning. The last time i was here i feel in love with the place but this time i don't feel as affectionate. Yes it is a truly unique and picturesque place with such a vibe and personality but although i have seen more of the city this time, it just feels unsafe. We have been through the Tenderloin area of the city which shows its sordid underbelly. Long lines for soup kitchens, pan handling and drug rehab. I know every city in America probably has this but i have never seen it before and it just made me feel uneasy. Just 8 blocks separate the poor from people shopping at Gucci and Burberry. It just doesn't sit well with me. Don't get me wrong San Fran is still one of my most favourite places in America and i urge anyone who hasn't been to visit. I would certainly come back as there is still so much to see and do. Seems i won't be leaving my heart here this time as Tony Bennett suggests in song but who knows for the future.
So we head north in the morning. Watching the winter Olympics on TV is certainly wetting my appetite for more snow and skiing. Mmmm, i can't wait.
Peace
D
XXXX
Saturday, 13 February 2010
Flowers in my hair?
Hey hey, guess where i am. San Francisco. We have left the cold, clean city of Salt Lake and made our way west. Salt Lake City was awesome. It was such a small, neat little place. OK, so it was spread out over a huge valley but with a population of just 1 million, it seemed sometimes desolate. We went skiing a few more times to a resort called Brighton and then over to Park City to a resort called The Canyons. The Canyons is one of the biggest resorts in the US. It was almost too big for us though but i still managed to bump into a guy i worked with at Coronet! It was really bizarre seeing him again and i think we were both a bit shocked by it. He won the Coronet scholarship the season before last which meant he got a job at The Canyons last year, then worked again at Coronet before going back to The Canyons this season. I knew he'd be there but didn't expect to see him as it is a seriously huge resort. It was a nice place but the snow wasn't great. There was a really firm base under what little powder they had which made it a bit difficult at the top of the mountains. Brighton resort was insane though. By far the best resort i have been to. Loads of long, quiet tree runs and tons of snow. I don't know why but we both just fell in love with the place. Maybe it was just because it was truly beautiful. Even the little thin clifftop runs that Kate usually hates were pretty cool.
We left SLC in a blizzard. Typical as most of the ski resorts were in need of a fresh dump of powder, just as the day we leave. Oh well. We had a 8 and a half hour drive to Reno where we were staying the night just to break up the big drive to San Fran. Leaving SLC on highway 80 is similar to driving through a post apocalyptic war zone! Miles and miles of flat, smelly, boring salt flats. If it weren't for the mountains on the horizon i would have died of boredom and wrecked the car. The drive went surprisingly quick but i was so glad i had my ipod plugged into the car radio. American radio stations around Utah are not exactly atheist friendly. Every other station is about some dude called Jesus or his dad.
We made it to Reno by early afternoon. I don't think i was speeding much but managed to complete the 8 and a half hour trip in 6 and a half hours. First impressions of Reno were of a poor mans Vegas but with stunning snow capped mountains and hills overlooking what the locals call "The biggest little city in the world." We found our hotel, dumped our gear and headed down to the casino for some food. After the opulence and grandeur of Vegas, Reno is like a chav version. It is dripping in Elizabeth Duke compared to Vegas's Bulgari chic. The people in the casinos in Reno look like the holding pen of the Jeremy Kyle show! The waitresses in Reno looked like the fag smoking, heavy drinking mums of all the waitresses in Vegas. Not a fake titty in sight. The only thing about a poor mans version of Vegas was that it was cheaper to play poker but as it was a smaller low key place, they didn't have enough people to play a tournament. So we never got a poker fix. Shame as we were both really up for it, which usually means we do well. Poker can be a long, boring game and it is very easy to lose interest and concentration in it which means you get smashed pretty quickly. We have changed our plans a little so we might be able to get in a game before we get home. Instead of getting the bus up to Seattle we are gonna take a couple of days to drive it. We have planned to stop at a casino resort in Oregon which is on the way so hopefully will get in a game then.
We left Reno almost wishing we had planned a longer stay there. Certainly not for all the chavy casinos but because loads of ski resorts are just down the road at Lake Tahoe. The drive to San Fran was stunning. Almost as soon as you leave Reno you are in the mountains and the Tahoe national forest. The roads were quite sketchy and slick in places with snow and rain but the views across the mountains were pretty special. Lake Tahoe was gorgeous but by NZ standards it was almost ordinary. I guess living opposite Lake Wakatipu for 7 months has set the bar pretty high when it comes to lakes and mountain vistas.
So we arrived in San Fran yesterday and dropped off the car at the airport. Our hotel is in the heart of the city, in the hustle bustle of Union square. It is only a few doors away from the hotel i stayed at last time i was here. The weather is a lot warmer too. San Fran has a pretty steady climate all year long and it really varies between 50 and 70 degrees. We are here for nearly a week which gives us plenty of time to see the sights.
So we are here for Valentines day. I have out done myself on the romantic front for sure this year. The NBA all star game is on TV! Kate is a spoilt women eh? Bless her. She made me laugh this morning. Dirty dancing was on TV and Kate had never seen it. She booed her eyes out. I don't know why but i found that hilarious. I have never considered it a movie you would cry at. Maybe it was because Patrick Swayze is sadly no more.
Er, anyway we are off out to eat cheesecake at the Cheesecake factory overlooking Union Square in the sunshine.
Peace
D
XXXX
We left SLC in a blizzard. Typical as most of the ski resorts were in need of a fresh dump of powder, just as the day we leave. Oh well. We had a 8 and a half hour drive to Reno where we were staying the night just to break up the big drive to San Fran. Leaving SLC on highway 80 is similar to driving through a post apocalyptic war zone! Miles and miles of flat, smelly, boring salt flats. If it weren't for the mountains on the horizon i would have died of boredom and wrecked the car. The drive went surprisingly quick but i was so glad i had my ipod plugged into the car radio. American radio stations around Utah are not exactly atheist friendly. Every other station is about some dude called Jesus or his dad.
We made it to Reno by early afternoon. I don't think i was speeding much but managed to complete the 8 and a half hour trip in 6 and a half hours. First impressions of Reno were of a poor mans Vegas but with stunning snow capped mountains and hills overlooking what the locals call "The biggest little city in the world." We found our hotel, dumped our gear and headed down to the casino for some food. After the opulence and grandeur of Vegas, Reno is like a chav version. It is dripping in Elizabeth Duke compared to Vegas's Bulgari chic. The people in the casinos in Reno look like the holding pen of the Jeremy Kyle show! The waitresses in Reno looked like the fag smoking, heavy drinking mums of all the waitresses in Vegas. Not a fake titty in sight. The only thing about a poor mans version of Vegas was that it was cheaper to play poker but as it was a smaller low key place, they didn't have enough people to play a tournament. So we never got a poker fix. Shame as we were both really up for it, which usually means we do well. Poker can be a long, boring game and it is very easy to lose interest and concentration in it which means you get smashed pretty quickly. We have changed our plans a little so we might be able to get in a game before we get home. Instead of getting the bus up to Seattle we are gonna take a couple of days to drive it. We have planned to stop at a casino resort in Oregon which is on the way so hopefully will get in a game then.
We left Reno almost wishing we had planned a longer stay there. Certainly not for all the chavy casinos but because loads of ski resorts are just down the road at Lake Tahoe. The drive to San Fran was stunning. Almost as soon as you leave Reno you are in the mountains and the Tahoe national forest. The roads were quite sketchy and slick in places with snow and rain but the views across the mountains were pretty special. Lake Tahoe was gorgeous but by NZ standards it was almost ordinary. I guess living opposite Lake Wakatipu for 7 months has set the bar pretty high when it comes to lakes and mountain vistas.
So we arrived in San Fran yesterday and dropped off the car at the airport. Our hotel is in the heart of the city, in the hustle bustle of Union square. It is only a few doors away from the hotel i stayed at last time i was here. The weather is a lot warmer too. San Fran has a pretty steady climate all year long and it really varies between 50 and 70 degrees. We are here for nearly a week which gives us plenty of time to see the sights.
So we are here for Valentines day. I have out done myself on the romantic front for sure this year. The NBA all star game is on TV! Kate is a spoilt women eh? Bless her. She made me laugh this morning. Dirty dancing was on TV and Kate had never seen it. She booed her eyes out. I don't know why but i found that hilarious. I have never considered it a movie you would cry at. Maybe it was because Patrick Swayze is sadly no more.
Er, anyway we are off out to eat cheesecake at the Cheesecake factory overlooking Union Square in the sunshine.
Peace
D
XXXX
Friday, 5 February 2010
Utah Saints
Hey dudes. Greetings from Salt Lake City. Home of the Mormon church and host of the 2002 Winter Olympics. Er, and that's about it. Yet i love it here. This place is about as far away from Vegas as you can get, on a moral compass that is. They are only 500 miles away from each other geographically but as home of the Mormon church it is a far cry from the carnage of Sin City. It seems such a laid back chilled out place and is uber clean. We are staying south of downtown SLC not far from highway 215 or the belt route as it is called (it runs from east to west in the shape of a large smile that looks like a belt, i guess). I am so relieved that we have a car here. Although we are no more than a 3 minute walk to our local tram into the city, SLC is spread out over a huge valley, enclosed by tall snow capped mountains. Our car, or T.I.L.T as we have named it, is a huge white Jeep and has allowed us to explore the local townships and even get to some outlet malls. We called our car TILT for 2 reasons. One, because it is a poker term but mostly because it stands for Tiny Incey Little Tank. Not because he is a bulky jeep that handles like a tank but because the fuel tank in it is measly. On our drive over from Vegas we had only covered 100 miles and used half a tank of petrol! We pulled into a garage to fill up. I feared we had a huge 5 litre gas guzzling machine which would cost us hundreds of bucks in petrol but when i filled it up it only took $20. Handy as we are gonna be covering a lot of Terra firma in the next few weeks. I had forgotten just how much i love driving over here. Yes, it takes some people some time to get used to driving on the other side of the road but i seem to slot into it no problem. It helps as well that most American cars are just like driving huge golf carts. No clutch, no changing gears and very un-aerodynamic.
So, we were supposed to go to a skier only resort the other day called Alta. It is consistently ranked one of the top resorts in America so i was super excited about going. However, we never made it. Kate hurt her foot in Vegas and it has not got any better. Well, it has improved a little but she didn't want to risk hurting it more and ruining the rest of the trip. So we rested it a day and checked out the local area and did some shopping. The next day we decided to test her foot on some skis. We also decided to go to a smaller, quieter resort called Solitude. Again, another highly ranked resort. It was amazing! The snow was awesome. Fresh, dry, grippy and most importantly, lots of it. We skied a lot of easier runs to ease ourselves back into it before hitting a lot more steeper and more challenging slopes. We also ventured over to the little terrain park which consisted of a small jump, a bigger jump, a rail and a box. Not quite The remarkables but good for us. Kate even hit the little jump. Well, she rode over it but i was super amazed that she jibbed the box! I couldn't believe it. I told her that it was easy but thought she'd bottle it. She hit it with way too much speed, aired onto it, then aired off. She was well pleased with herself and hit it a few more times throughout the day. She'll probably turn into a right little park rat now. I'm very proud of her and forget sometimes that she is still a beginner.
We rode solidly for about 4 hours before calling it a day, not wanting to push it too much. We're not as flexible or as fit as we once were. We spent the next day nursing a few aches and strains but managed to get in some shopping. I decided i needed a change so treated myself to some new ski gear. Although the Dollar is not as weak as it once was against the pound, stores here are already selling this seasons stuff off cheap. The ski season doesn't finish for a few more months but there are end of season sales everywhere. I basically got a new jacket and new ski pants for around $150 cheaper than it should've been. Kate treated herself to a new beannie and touched about 37 pairs of ski pants she wanted but didn't buy, naturally. She took a spill at Solitude the other day and managed to slice her trousers with her newly sharpened edges. I had spent the previous afternoon tuning both our skis so they would run smooth. I imagine she will buy some new trousers eventually, especially since everywhere we will visit from now on will have a end of season sale.
I wanted to go skiing again today but Kate was still feeling rough so I decided to go on my own. I wanted to go to Alta but as the weather is a bit dodgy and it is a massive resort, i decided to go back to Solitude. It is our closest hill, and i knew my way around so wasn't going to be worried about getting lost in the bad weather. When i got there the weather cleared and i had an awesome day hitting the more advanced slopes i can't do with Kate and hitting the jumps in the park. It felt so good to be out there at the top of the world, just me and my music. Very relaxing but quite energetic all at once.
Hopefully Kate will feel up to some skiing tomorrow and i won't be too achy from all my exploits today. We haven't been converted to Mormons yet either. I'm keen to be fair but only because of the polygamy. I don't think I'd like all the church stuff. Plus the Mormons we met when we were in the city centre were super nice. Almost too nice for me, almost sinister. Their church was pretty impressive though and we got to see where the Tabernacle choir perform. I very much doubt i will be converted though so don't panic. I reckon I'd be kicked out after a few weeks anyway.
Anyway dudes, i have to chill now and enjoy the bible channel.
Peace, and may God be with you. Nah, it just doesn't sound right coming from me.
D
XXXX
So, we were supposed to go to a skier only resort the other day called Alta. It is consistently ranked one of the top resorts in America so i was super excited about going. However, we never made it. Kate hurt her foot in Vegas and it has not got any better. Well, it has improved a little but she didn't want to risk hurting it more and ruining the rest of the trip. So we rested it a day and checked out the local area and did some shopping. The next day we decided to test her foot on some skis. We also decided to go to a smaller, quieter resort called Solitude. Again, another highly ranked resort. It was amazing! The snow was awesome. Fresh, dry, grippy and most importantly, lots of it. We skied a lot of easier runs to ease ourselves back into it before hitting a lot more steeper and more challenging slopes. We also ventured over to the little terrain park which consisted of a small jump, a bigger jump, a rail and a box. Not quite The remarkables but good for us. Kate even hit the little jump. Well, she rode over it but i was super amazed that she jibbed the box! I couldn't believe it. I told her that it was easy but thought she'd bottle it. She hit it with way too much speed, aired onto it, then aired off. She was well pleased with herself and hit it a few more times throughout the day. She'll probably turn into a right little park rat now. I'm very proud of her and forget sometimes that she is still a beginner.
We rode solidly for about 4 hours before calling it a day, not wanting to push it too much. We're not as flexible or as fit as we once were. We spent the next day nursing a few aches and strains but managed to get in some shopping. I decided i needed a change so treated myself to some new ski gear. Although the Dollar is not as weak as it once was against the pound, stores here are already selling this seasons stuff off cheap. The ski season doesn't finish for a few more months but there are end of season sales everywhere. I basically got a new jacket and new ski pants for around $150 cheaper than it should've been. Kate treated herself to a new beannie and touched about 37 pairs of ski pants she wanted but didn't buy, naturally. She took a spill at Solitude the other day and managed to slice her trousers with her newly sharpened edges. I had spent the previous afternoon tuning both our skis so they would run smooth. I imagine she will buy some new trousers eventually, especially since everywhere we will visit from now on will have a end of season sale.
I wanted to go skiing again today but Kate was still feeling rough so I decided to go on my own. I wanted to go to Alta but as the weather is a bit dodgy and it is a massive resort, i decided to go back to Solitude. It is our closest hill, and i knew my way around so wasn't going to be worried about getting lost in the bad weather. When i got there the weather cleared and i had an awesome day hitting the more advanced slopes i can't do with Kate and hitting the jumps in the park. It felt so good to be out there at the top of the world, just me and my music. Very relaxing but quite energetic all at once.
Hopefully Kate will feel up to some skiing tomorrow and i won't be too achy from all my exploits today. We haven't been converted to Mormons yet either. I'm keen to be fair but only because of the polygamy. I don't think I'd like all the church stuff. Plus the Mormons we met when we were in the city centre were super nice. Almost too nice for me, almost sinister. Their church was pretty impressive though and we got to see where the Tabernacle choir perform. I very much doubt i will be converted though so don't panic. I reckon I'd be kicked out after a few weeks anyway.
Anyway dudes, i have to chill now and enjoy the bible channel.
Peace, and may God be with you. Nah, it just doesn't sound right coming from me.
D
XXXX
Monday, 1 February 2010
What happens in Vegas......
So they say what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. If that's the case then this is gonna be one short blog. All i can say is that Vegas is INSANE!! The end
Peace
D
XXXX
Nah, just kidding. I did a little bit more than that. Our first night was pretty uneventful. We didn't finally get to our hotel til late so just went down for a few beers in one of the millions of bars our hotel had in it's huge casino. We also checked out a few games and how much the poker was to play. $60! Still, that's pretty cheap by LV standards. A lot of the other casinos in town are upwards off $100-400 to play. So after some rest and a day walking in the rain checking out the strip and dodging the thousands of touts trying to sell us tickets to shows, we headed back to our hotel to make use of the unlimited beer they serve for $20 between 4pm and 8pm, even better we got asked for ID! After 4 solid hours of drinking we decided to finally give the poker a try. I was amazed Kate went for it as is was obviously $120 for both of us, plus you have to factor in that Kate hasn't really played for that amount of cash. I think you have to be way more careful or "tighter" as we say in poker terms and Kate can be a little loose at times. My concerns were fair because Kate got knocked out pretty quickly. $60 down the toilet but i looked up and Kate was back at the table! In her drunken state she had decided to re-buy in for another $60! If i had even suggested doing that myself she'd have extracted my testicles from me via my anus and slung them under a bus! I didn't let it affect me though as she suddenly started playing much better and knocking people out. I finished 4th which i was pleased with but Kate went on a run of cards and flops i have never seen. She was hitting impossible outs and ended up knocking out a guy to get to heads up. The other guy she was playing offered to split the first and second place between them and i sighed in relief when Kate agreed. There was no way that luck of hers could continue. So in the end it was all good as she pocketed around $300.
After much high fives and both of us super happy, i recommended we hit the hay and call it a night. Kate wanted to celebrate though and refused to go to bed before having a cocktail. I didn't want to ruin her moment so we had a few more drinks and Kate polished off a couple of long island ice teas (her favourite cocktail). I felt surprisingly sober and got chatting to another English guy who had played poker with us and he convinced me to play again in the midnight tournament. Kate said she was gonna go to bed so i said i was gonna play poker. Kate then had a change of heart and wanted to play as well. Not good as by this time she was struggling to stand, let alone play poker in a casino in Vegas. I tried to get her to bed but she refused.
We sat down to play and paid our $120 entrance fees. Kate got knocked out again pretty quick but i played really well. Kate said she wanted to go to bed but i was kicking arse and was the chip leader. She then said she had lost her hotel room key so i had to take her. I asked her to wait until there was a break in the tournament. She sat by some slot machines but kept calling me on my mobile and texting me. I went over to her and told her to wait 7 minutes until the break.
When the break came she was nowhere to be found. I had 5 minutes to find her and get her to bed. I rang her and she said she was on our floor. I sprinted to the lift got upstairs and found her wandering around the corridor. I grabbed her, opened the room and finally got her to bed. I then ran back downstairs and made it to the table just in time. I continued my good play and was the chip leader when i got to heads up against this scary looking tattooed dude. I offered to split the money with him but he wanted to flip a coin. I was a bit pissed off with him as i wanted to make sure Kate was OK, plus it was now 3am. We flipped a coin and it came up that we would keep playing. I went super tilt and pushed all in on the next hand with pretty mediocre cards. The other guy called and beat me. It left me with not a lot of chips and it wasn't long before i was beat. 2nd place won me $200 which i was pretty damn happy about. I went up to bed, put my room key in but nothing happened. I was locked out!
I banged on the door for 20 minutes but couldn't wake up Kate. I went to reception and told them what was happening but the stupid arsehole women on reception told me that because the deadbolt was on the door i couldn't get in. I went back upstairs again to try and wake up Kate. After another 20 minutes of banging on our door, and waking up other people, that i had to apologise to, i gave up. I went back down to the casino fuming! I didn't know what to do. Should i just rent another room? Should i just wait in the casino til Kate woke up? NO, i decided i was going to go to a strip club!
I jumped in a taxi outside the hotel and headed to Spearmint Rhino. After a few more beers and a lap dance from a women with the biggest boobs in the place, i left $150 lighter in the wallet! It was now about 5.30am so i headed back to the hotel. I was pretty drunk by now but still didn't know what to do. As i walked to my hotel i noticed some stairs in the car park across the road. I strolled over and sat down to rest under the steps. Next thing i know i was being woken up by 2 security guards! I must have dozed off. I explained to them what had happened, that i was locked out of my room and that the lady in reception told me i was screwed. They walked me back to the hotel and told me they could get me into my room. Apparently the women on reception was wrong and they had a special key to get into any room. They said she would be fired for telling me that and making me sleep rough. I had to point her out but didn't feel in the least bit guilty. If she had just called security i would be in bed already and still with my poker winnings. Yes, i know i didn't have to go to a strip club, i don't really even like strippers! I hate the falseness of them. They will try anything just to get money out of you but i didn't know what to do and was very mad with Kate.
I finally got into my room at 6am. Kate woke up straight away which pissed me off even more as i had been trying to wake her up all frickin night! She insisted she didn't mean to put the deadbolt on the door but who knows in her drunken state. What a polarva!!
By the time i woke up i had calmed down a lot and started seeing the funny side of it all. Amazingly, even though we spent $500 that night, because we had done so well at poker, we broke even! Not bad really and to be fair, it was probably just another night in Vegas.
So after that night we calmed down big time and actually got out about and checked out the strip more. The weather suddenly became awesome, sunny but still fairly mild. I don't think there is anything in the world to prepare you for the sheer size and opulence of Las Vegas. Everything there is enormous. Some of the hotels are just a stunning combination of size and attention to detail. I have to say that Cesar's Palace was the most spectacular but it is a close call between that, The Venetian and The Bellagio. We had a nose around all the biggies and was blown away by all the marble and features.
Eating in Vegas is just as extravagant as the huge hotels. America is known for it's large portions but in Vegas, it is just ridiculous! All you can eat buffets seem to be the norm and it is so easy to see why there is a scary obesity problem here. That said, you haven't seen obesity until you get to a Vegas buffet. There is fat and then there is Vegas buffet fat. These people were huge! Rolling around the place, their love handles over hanging their mobility scooters with plates full of fried chicken and prime rib. Really really messed up! It isn't just the buffets either. The Nascar cafe near us sold a 6lb burrito! That's like eating a baby! If you ate it in 90 minutes or less, it was free. Crazy!
Another thing i got super excited about was when i saw a sign offering $1 BJ's! I got very excited until i realised it meant $1 black jack. Damn it! Although, apart from all the hotties that work in the numerous strip clubs Vegas seems to be the home of the B.O.B.F.O.C (body off baywatch, face off crimewatch!). Loads of gorgeous bodies topped off with old haggard swamp donkey faces. Think Amy Winehouse but with bigger boobs and more wrinkles.
Vegas was certainly a 24 hour party town with the option to get into a lot of expensive trouble. People stroll the strip with huge yard long cocktails strapped to them shaped like towers, skyscrapers or guitars, at like 10 am. People stand on street corners handing out thousands of prostitute call cards (prostitution is illegal within the city limits but legal in the state of Nevada). And of course there are casinos everywhere. I half expected to go for a piss in a toilet and find a slot machine above the urinal. Vegas could really be an amazing place. In some areas it is clean and super modern but in others you have to wade through thousands of hooker call cards all littered on the floor. It does exactly what it offers and Sin city is such an apt name. It certainly isn't what i would call a family place yet i saw children everywhere. The strip is like being immersed in a huge adult orientated theme park but i liked it. Although sex and gambling seems to be thrust into your face everywhere you go, you can avoid it, if you try really hard.
We left LV blown away by the size of the place. We decided to hire a car after all and have now made the short 6 hour drive to Salt Lake city in Utah. The drive over was uneventful and the scenery was stunning. Miles and miles of nothing at one point then a stunning red rock gorge cut through the mountains. Salt Lake city should be a lot quieter, especially since it is home to the Moomins. remember those little white hippos from back in the day? Well, apparently 80% of Utah are little white hippos but i haven't seen any yet. Kate thinks I'm confused. She keeps telling me it is home of the Morons! We'll just have to see.
The great thing about SLC so far is the scenery. We are high up in the mountains and there is snow everywhere. Sweet. I can't wait to get up into them and ski my arse off. We're off to Alta tomorrow to see how we get on. Kate has hurt her foot so we will see how we do.
So, if sex, gambling and excess is your thing, then Vegas is for you. My cousin is planning her 30th birthday there. I want to go but fear for my wallet. Gulp. That's still over a year away so i think i'll just focus on my current travels. I'll keep you posted Y'all.
Peace
D
XXXX
Peace
D
XXXX
Nah, just kidding. I did a little bit more than that. Our first night was pretty uneventful. We didn't finally get to our hotel til late so just went down for a few beers in one of the millions of bars our hotel had in it's huge casino. We also checked out a few games and how much the poker was to play. $60! Still, that's pretty cheap by LV standards. A lot of the other casinos in town are upwards off $100-400 to play. So after some rest and a day walking in the rain checking out the strip and dodging the thousands of touts trying to sell us tickets to shows, we headed back to our hotel to make use of the unlimited beer they serve for $20 between 4pm and 8pm, even better we got asked for ID! After 4 solid hours of drinking we decided to finally give the poker a try. I was amazed Kate went for it as is was obviously $120 for both of us, plus you have to factor in that Kate hasn't really played for that amount of cash. I think you have to be way more careful or "tighter" as we say in poker terms and Kate can be a little loose at times. My concerns were fair because Kate got knocked out pretty quickly. $60 down the toilet but i looked up and Kate was back at the table! In her drunken state she had decided to re-buy in for another $60! If i had even suggested doing that myself she'd have extracted my testicles from me via my anus and slung them under a bus! I didn't let it affect me though as she suddenly started playing much better and knocking people out. I finished 4th which i was pleased with but Kate went on a run of cards and flops i have never seen. She was hitting impossible outs and ended up knocking out a guy to get to heads up. The other guy she was playing offered to split the first and second place between them and i sighed in relief when Kate agreed. There was no way that luck of hers could continue. So in the end it was all good as she pocketed around $300.
After much high fives and both of us super happy, i recommended we hit the hay and call it a night. Kate wanted to celebrate though and refused to go to bed before having a cocktail. I didn't want to ruin her moment so we had a few more drinks and Kate polished off a couple of long island ice teas (her favourite cocktail). I felt surprisingly sober and got chatting to another English guy who had played poker with us and he convinced me to play again in the midnight tournament. Kate said she was gonna go to bed so i said i was gonna play poker. Kate then had a change of heart and wanted to play as well. Not good as by this time she was struggling to stand, let alone play poker in a casino in Vegas. I tried to get her to bed but she refused.
We sat down to play and paid our $120 entrance fees. Kate got knocked out again pretty quick but i played really well. Kate said she wanted to go to bed but i was kicking arse and was the chip leader. She then said she had lost her hotel room key so i had to take her. I asked her to wait until there was a break in the tournament. She sat by some slot machines but kept calling me on my mobile and texting me. I went over to her and told her to wait 7 minutes until the break.
When the break came she was nowhere to be found. I had 5 minutes to find her and get her to bed. I rang her and she said she was on our floor. I sprinted to the lift got upstairs and found her wandering around the corridor. I grabbed her, opened the room and finally got her to bed. I then ran back downstairs and made it to the table just in time. I continued my good play and was the chip leader when i got to heads up against this scary looking tattooed dude. I offered to split the money with him but he wanted to flip a coin. I was a bit pissed off with him as i wanted to make sure Kate was OK, plus it was now 3am. We flipped a coin and it came up that we would keep playing. I went super tilt and pushed all in on the next hand with pretty mediocre cards. The other guy called and beat me. It left me with not a lot of chips and it wasn't long before i was beat. 2nd place won me $200 which i was pretty damn happy about. I went up to bed, put my room key in but nothing happened. I was locked out!
I banged on the door for 20 minutes but couldn't wake up Kate. I went to reception and told them what was happening but the stupid arsehole women on reception told me that because the deadbolt was on the door i couldn't get in. I went back upstairs again to try and wake up Kate. After another 20 minutes of banging on our door, and waking up other people, that i had to apologise to, i gave up. I went back down to the casino fuming! I didn't know what to do. Should i just rent another room? Should i just wait in the casino til Kate woke up? NO, i decided i was going to go to a strip club!
I jumped in a taxi outside the hotel and headed to Spearmint Rhino. After a few more beers and a lap dance from a women with the biggest boobs in the place, i left $150 lighter in the wallet! It was now about 5.30am so i headed back to the hotel. I was pretty drunk by now but still didn't know what to do. As i walked to my hotel i noticed some stairs in the car park across the road. I strolled over and sat down to rest under the steps. Next thing i know i was being woken up by 2 security guards! I must have dozed off. I explained to them what had happened, that i was locked out of my room and that the lady in reception told me i was screwed. They walked me back to the hotel and told me they could get me into my room. Apparently the women on reception was wrong and they had a special key to get into any room. They said she would be fired for telling me that and making me sleep rough. I had to point her out but didn't feel in the least bit guilty. If she had just called security i would be in bed already and still with my poker winnings. Yes, i know i didn't have to go to a strip club, i don't really even like strippers! I hate the falseness of them. They will try anything just to get money out of you but i didn't know what to do and was very mad with Kate.
I finally got into my room at 6am. Kate woke up straight away which pissed me off even more as i had been trying to wake her up all frickin night! She insisted she didn't mean to put the deadbolt on the door but who knows in her drunken state. What a polarva!!
By the time i woke up i had calmed down a lot and started seeing the funny side of it all. Amazingly, even though we spent $500 that night, because we had done so well at poker, we broke even! Not bad really and to be fair, it was probably just another night in Vegas.
So after that night we calmed down big time and actually got out about and checked out the strip more. The weather suddenly became awesome, sunny but still fairly mild. I don't think there is anything in the world to prepare you for the sheer size and opulence of Las Vegas. Everything there is enormous. Some of the hotels are just a stunning combination of size and attention to detail. I have to say that Cesar's Palace was the most spectacular but it is a close call between that, The Venetian and The Bellagio. We had a nose around all the biggies and was blown away by all the marble and features.
Eating in Vegas is just as extravagant as the huge hotels. America is known for it's large portions but in Vegas, it is just ridiculous! All you can eat buffets seem to be the norm and it is so easy to see why there is a scary obesity problem here. That said, you haven't seen obesity until you get to a Vegas buffet. There is fat and then there is Vegas buffet fat. These people were huge! Rolling around the place, their love handles over hanging their mobility scooters with plates full of fried chicken and prime rib. Really really messed up! It isn't just the buffets either. The Nascar cafe near us sold a 6lb burrito! That's like eating a baby! If you ate it in 90 minutes or less, it was free. Crazy!
Another thing i got super excited about was when i saw a sign offering $1 BJ's! I got very excited until i realised it meant $1 black jack. Damn it! Although, apart from all the hotties that work in the numerous strip clubs Vegas seems to be the home of the B.O.B.F.O.C (body off baywatch, face off crimewatch!). Loads of gorgeous bodies topped off with old haggard swamp donkey faces. Think Amy Winehouse but with bigger boobs and more wrinkles.
Vegas was certainly a 24 hour party town with the option to get into a lot of expensive trouble. People stroll the strip with huge yard long cocktails strapped to them shaped like towers, skyscrapers or guitars, at like 10 am. People stand on street corners handing out thousands of prostitute call cards (prostitution is illegal within the city limits but legal in the state of Nevada). And of course there are casinos everywhere. I half expected to go for a piss in a toilet and find a slot machine above the urinal. Vegas could really be an amazing place. In some areas it is clean and super modern but in others you have to wade through thousands of hooker call cards all littered on the floor. It does exactly what it offers and Sin city is such an apt name. It certainly isn't what i would call a family place yet i saw children everywhere. The strip is like being immersed in a huge adult orientated theme park but i liked it. Although sex and gambling seems to be thrust into your face everywhere you go, you can avoid it, if you try really hard.
We left LV blown away by the size of the place. We decided to hire a car after all and have now made the short 6 hour drive to Salt Lake city in Utah. The drive over was uneventful and the scenery was stunning. Miles and miles of nothing at one point then a stunning red rock gorge cut through the mountains. Salt Lake city should be a lot quieter, especially since it is home to the Moomins. remember those little white hippos from back in the day? Well, apparently 80% of Utah are little white hippos but i haven't seen any yet. Kate thinks I'm confused. She keeps telling me it is home of the Morons! We'll just have to see.
The great thing about SLC so far is the scenery. We are high up in the mountains and there is snow everywhere. Sweet. I can't wait to get up into them and ski my arse off. We're off to Alta tomorrow to see how we get on. Kate has hurt her foot so we will see how we do.
So, if sex, gambling and excess is your thing, then Vegas is for you. My cousin is planning her 30th birthday there. I want to go but fear for my wallet. Gulp. That's still over a year away so i think i'll just focus on my current travels. I'll keep you posted Y'all.
Peace
D
XXXX
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
