Wow, I had forgotten just how much distance it is possible to cover in such a short period of time. We agreed before we arrived in NZ that we would never drive for more than a few hours a day but what with NZ being such a small country you can get pretty far in such a short time. Man, if this place had more than 100 miles of motorway you’d be able to fly around it no problem. I say this because since I last blogged in Akaroa we have covered the remainder of the south island and are now in the far north of the south island in Paroha which is in the Abel Tasman national park. For the first time in our trip we have actually revisited places and are re driving roads to places we missed when we passed through last time.

After we left the supposedly very French town of Akoroa we went to the supposedly very English city of Christchurch. To be brutally honest I didn’t really see the Englishness of it. Apart from the place names (St Albans and Northwood to name but a few) and the Avon river that runs through the city with it’s punters on it, it was just another NZ city. It was an amazing NZ city though. It’s pretty big by NZ standards but the shopping was awesome. Everything you’d ever need was in walking distance of the city centre unlike Aucklands sprawling metropolis. It was very clean too, well compared to the copious amounts of dog shit all over the place in Akaroa, Christchurch was like a hospital operating theatre. We stayed there for a few days and stocked up on a few creature comforts, including an early birthday present from Kate of a new basketball game for the laptop and a ‘troller’ (as my nephew would say). It was great to be in proper shopping malls too. Not just because of the shops but because of all the Christmas decorations. It is summer here and it makes it very easy to forget that Christmas is only a few weeks away. I’m not really looking forward to a warm Christmas away from all my friends and family. It seems just plain wrong to think of a barbie instead of the traditional turkey and all the trimmings. Probably why they had a Christmas in July back in Qtown when it was cold and snowy.

We tried our luck at a local poker game too but when we realised that half of them were playing in the national championships in auckland we realised we were in above our heads. Needless to say we got knocked out pretty quickly. We really enjoyed our time in Christchurch though and considered staying there for a while longer. It was just so nice to sort of be normal again. I mean we went to the cinema and saw the new Twilight movie, we ate out and we shopped a lot (not buying anything of course but Kate got to touch loads of things). A welcome break from the ritual of road life.

We were however quite keen to leave Christchurch and get to our next stop, Kaikoura (pronounced Ky-Kowra – which means ‘to eat crayfish’ in Maori. Not Ky-kora which means ‘to eat bird feathers’). The main reason for going to Kaikoura is that it is home to one of the most diverse and largest selection of sealife in NZ, and all just a little bit off shore. The reason for this is that there is a huge 3000 metre deep trench just off shore. At certain points along the coast the trench is only 800 metres away! The deep trench attracts deep sea animals such as whales and giant squid which would normally be out in the middle of the sea. It is the premier place here to whale watch as over 20 different types of whale and porpoise can be seen throughout the year. We of course we there in that grey area between winter and summer. In winter it is a popular feeding ground for humpback whales and in summer it attracts killer and blue whales. Luckily though sperm whales and various breeds of dolphin are around all year. We decided to stay in a campsite right in town. It was cheap too and after inspection of the shower facilities we could see why. The mens had bloody graffiti sprayed in it! It was alright though and we couldn’t complain as it was super cheap. We booked our whale watching trip for the day after we arrived but when we turned up for it the weather had turned and it was cancelled. The following day it was a gorgeous summer day so we were quite excited about getting out on the boat. After an amazing BBC documentary (filmed in Kaikoura) in the whale watching HQ and a safety briefing we headed off to our vessel. The sea looked super calm but as we left the harbour the boat really started rocking. Before we got on the boat we were told the sea was “a bit jobbly” but not even sure if that was a real word we assumed it would all be ok. I have never been sea sick before but even before we left the campsite I felt a little queasy. I thought I’d be barfing for Britain on the boat but I was fine. Unlike some dude at the back of the boat who spent most of trip chucking his guts up. Ha ha! We stopped at a few places while the captain listened with a hydrophone for the whale. Sperm whales make the second loudest noise in nature after the pistol shrimp. Their sonar can produce sound that is 230 decibels. A jumbo jet engine at full thrust is around 140 decibels! Yeah, sperm whales are pretty fucking gnarly eh? The guide on the boat told us how in Canada a diver got hit by a sperm whales sonar and started peeing blood cos his internal organs had been damaged by it. Ok ok, so yes I have become a bit of a sperm whale expert but they are fascinating creatures which hold so many world records. They dive the deepest, hold there breath forever and have awesome underwater battles with giant and colossal squids! They are the largest toothed predator in the world too. After a few stops though for the captain to hunt the whale we were still no closer to seeing one. Another whale watching boat from our company joined us and the two captains suddenly gunned it to a spot where they thought the whale was. And low and behold they were right! We stopped the boat and everyone legged it out onto the deck. It was enormous! The sperm whales they have in Kaikoura are all adolescent males so are only half grown too! It floated on the surface for about 10 minutes before it started preparing to dive. We waited as it bucked and disappeared before coming back to the surface. Each time getting itself ready to dive 2 miles down into the ‘midnight zone.’ Then just as our guide predicted it headed down and lifted it’s tail right out of the sea. It was awesome and I got an awesome pic of it – soon to be on facebook. We called the sperm whale ‘Spunky’ and left the deck. We headed back to shore well happy with ourselves. Even the vomiting dude at the back of the boat couldn’t dampen our spirits. So, if anyone has any queries about sperm whales just direct them to me. If anyone is curious, for example, as to why they are called sperm whales it’s because they have a milky white oil in their heads which looks like jizz. The oil is thought to be either a sonar magnifier or that the whale can solidify the oil when it wants to dive and use it as ballast so it sinks faster. When it wants to surface it liquefies the oil which then becomes buoyant. See, sperm whales are way cool!

We also finally bought some pounamu (Maori greenstone) in Kaikoura as it was easily the most Moari place we have seen on the south island. Pounamu holds loads of meaning in Maori history. Each piece is crafted into tribal patterns which all symbolise things. The thing about greenstone though is that you are not allowed to buy it for yourself as it is bad luck. So we decided to treat ourselves to early Christmas presents and got some for each other. Mine is a Wharea (Pronounced farea). It is a tribal leaders shape which signifies strength and overcoming adversity. Seemed pretty fitting to me. I wanted to get Kate something meaningful too but in the end got her an awesome piece that looks like a fern leaf. Not sure it symbolises anything in the traditional sense of things but for us it will always be a reminder of our time here.

We reluctantly left Kaikoura and it’s many fish and chip shops and headed north. We are now in Pohara. Right on the beach and enjoying the sunshine. We are here for a few days and might go kayaking with the seals on the local beach before heading back to Nelson for a proper visit as the last one was a bit of a cloak and dagger operation to go see Debbie. It’s nice to be back up this way so we can do all the stuff we didn’t get a chance to do last time we where up here.

I am starting to feel more and more Kiwi as of late. Mostly because I, like everyone else here am walking around barefoot. It seems Kiwis, although inventing the flip flop, like to have the feel of the earth beneath their toes. To be fair I am only walking barefoot along the beach but I’ve seen Kiwis driving cars barefoot! Maybe I’m becoming more of a pikey than a Kiwi. Especially since I pee’d in a bottle in Biff the other day. Hey, it was pissing it down outside and it was at least 30 metres to the toilets. I’m not lazy, it’s just that getting anything dry in Biff is a bit of a nightmare. At least that’s what I told Kate.

Will let you know what’s happening in our world again shortly.

Peace

D

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