That's really all folks.............

So, now the season is really over................maybe. The Remarks closed yesterday so that is that for skiing in Qtown. Except, Mt Hutt is still open and only 5 hours drive away!! I'm thinking road trip. Maybe. Already have Talis (the dude from dodgeball) and the German (ski instructor from the Remarks - not sure of her real name) interested so might have to go on an epic road trip to Methven and ski Mt Hutt. Especially since they are still open and have had 50cms of snow this week!! Sick!

So the Remarks closed yesterday. I skied it for the last 2 days and had such a contrast in my riding. On Saturday i skied like a total gimp. My skis just weren't going where i told them to and i fell over all the time. I hit this ledge which i have hit all season and landed all season, but for some reason on Saturday i fell over on it. At first i blamed the snow but after a while i started to doubt my skis. I met up with the rentals crowd and started to ride the baby park they have there. I had no confidence so apart from the gay box and a few little jumps i avoided everything. I left the Remarks thoroughly disappointed and wondered if i should just hang my skis up for the season. It didn't help that Talis and the German took me on this massive hike to hit these massive chutes and half way up i had an asthma attack and had to come down. I imagine it's what skiing with my sister Kes is like, if she ever skis. I panicked a wee bit as haven't had an asthma attack in years and my inhaler was down the mountain. Ski patrol were on me like a rash and offered to ski me down but i was able to make it to the bottom in one piece. I was disappointed though as the chutes (a run called escalator) were supposed to be super steep and gnarly, just the way i like it. So i got down from the Remarks in a foul mood and wasn't going to go up yesterday for the last day of the season. I relented though and went up, couldn't end the season on a sour note eh? I got a lift from Billy so had him and the rentals crew with me all day. I checked my skis out too and found that one of the bindings had worked its way backward so i had no forward pressure (very technical). It meant it would randomly pop itself off my foot for no reason. So i adjusted that and tightened up my DINS (more technical shit) and was good to go again. I took my helmet too so had no excuses for avoiding anything in the park. Well, apart from the fact that big fat dudes and huge jumps don't really go well together. I hit a few boxes and threw myself off of some little jumps before eyeing up the huge jump at the bottom of the park. I have thought about hitting it all season but have pussied out. It is probably smaller than the one big jump we had at Coronet earlier in the season which i hit loads but at Remarks there is always an audience as it is under the chairlift. I avoided it for most of the day but in the afternoon i had a "fuck it-all in" moment and went for it. Now as i have mentioned, fat dudes and big jumps just don't mix. I had way too much speed when i hit it and nearly cleared the whole thing and landed on the flat (which is how you break your legs!!). Managed to save it and land but the shock of 100kgs of lard hitting the ground caused me to fall as i rode away. All very gay but i was super stoked that i hit it. It didn't matter whether i rode away clean or landed in a twisted heap, i did it and i didn't hurt myself. YAY!!

Filled with mucho confidence we then decided to go hiking. Now fat guys and hiking also don't mix! (shit, skiing and being over weight is proper hazardous!) After my asthma attack the previous day i was sceptical i would even make it to the top of the 2 hikes we attempted. I had my inhaler and strapped my skis to my rucksack so i was much better prepared. Hiking in ski boots sucks sweaty balls though!! It was super hard work but well worth the effort. I got to the top of the viewpoint at Remarks and was greeted by the most amazing view. I could see Qtown and lake Wakatipu below me and the southern alps stretching off into the distance. After i finally got my breath back (the air is much thinner at the top of a mountain remember) i was in total awe. It was stunning. It helped that the weather was a total bluebird (which means amazing). What sucked though was that i forgot my camera! So there i was, literally sitting on top of the world with the most amazing view, beer in hand and no frickin camera. Oh well. I got the guys to take a pic of me just to prove i was there though. Hopefully they will post it on Facebook or somethin. After a while for us all to recover we skied down this crazy steep bit and went for lunch.

After lunch the guys started talking about hiking up the other side of the mountain to Escalator, the run where i nearly died from an asthma attack! I decided i would go for it. So after hiking up this massive mountain, in ski boots, for what seemed like forever we made it to the top and had a much needed beer. The escalator run lay before us and it was insanely steep with loads of jagged rocks everywhere. Now, i have skied some pretty gnarly runs before (delirium dive in Banff is crazy!) but this totally took the biscuit. It was not only steep but stupidly narrow too. It was shaded as well so had a really firm crust to the snow. Not good when you really really don't want to fall. Falling pretty much ensures you are fucked as it was so steep there was no way of stopping yourself from crashing into the jagged rocks. We started the run and it wasn't long before i was in the zone! You have to really jump turn on the really steep stuff but after a few turns, and the huge fricking hike, my legs gave up and i stacked it. I slid for about 20 metres but managed to rescue myself and get back up onto my skis before i hit a huge rock. We all stopped and composed ourselves. I think i reminded the guys just how dangerous the run was. It didn't help that it kept avalanching too. Just little ones but enough to hurt when it hit you when you stopped. The snow was hard and crusty remember. We traversed down before we hit this really narrow neck between 2 cliffs. The German just fucking straight lined it (the crazy bitch) but the rest of us had to side slip it, which caused more avalanches. We got past it though and then gunned it outta there. The German was waiting for us on a small flat ridge and as i caught up with her, my legs gave in again and i tumbled into her. It was funny. I never knew Germans actually had a sense of humour. At first i thought she was gonna freak out and invade Poland or something but she was Uber cool about it. We skied back to the main runs and that was it. I was super tired but was a little gutted when i realised the lifts had stopped. I was however super stoked that i did the hikes and did some crazy gnarly runs, oh and that i avoided breaking my neck. Always a bonus.

Other than an epic final day at the Remarks my week has been pretty timid. Have tried to cut down on my drinking as it was draining the bank account quicker than i can drain a Jager-bomb (or Jager-ma-bomb as i am trying to get the world to say - you have to say it like Homer says "saxa-ma-phone" in the Simpsons though). I did however play poker a few times this week. I did well too. It was also the first night back for the old Rattlesnake tournament that me and Kate used to play. It was how we first got into poker here in NZ so i got all nostalgic when we got there. It was really weird being back there. The barmaid Rachel saw us and came and gave us huge hugs, and cheap beer too. It feels like i have gone full circle in that i started off my season playing poker at Rattlesnake and i am now gonna end it there, it feels right. I was gutted when it got shut down because it was so much fun and we made so many friends through it, but it's back baby! I of course finally found an incentive to play proper poker again and smashed everybody! It was my first win in ages as i have just not been too bothered about poker recently. I have fallen back in love with it recently and have put in some more consistent performances but it's not like the olden days were i made something stupid like 25 final tables in a row! I have this huge rep in Qtown poker circles now but for the last month or so i have preferred to go out with friends instead of playing cards. My new found enthusiasm though will hopefully let me leave Qtown on a poker high. $50 bar tabs are much more of an incentive too now that i am not working!

So no other dramas here really. I of course will endeavour to let you know how these last few weeks in Qtown go. Now then, what was i thinking about..................Oh yeah, ROAD TRIP!!!

Peace

D

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