Van Life

Greetings from the seaside town of New Plymouth. Famous for having a huge ass mountain called Mt Taranaki (or Egmont, to use it’s anglophile name) and er, not much else. It’s ok here though. We have used the time we’ve been here to chill out and sort out a few dilemmas we have had. Such as, what to do about hair cuts?

I have only ever had 2 people cut my hair. One was my auntie Louise who used to be a hairdresser and has cut my hair for as long as I remember and the other was my mum. When I was young, believe it or not, I had quite long luscious brown curls. I was a bit funny though about people touching, brushing and definitely pulling my hair so my mum one day, tired of my whinging every time she tried to brush my matted curls, decided to just chop the lot off. I think it made my Nan cry when she saw me running around as a skinhead. Not because of the hairstyle and the connotations of being a skinhead in the early 80’s but because I no longer had fluffy brown curls to make me look like a gay!

So my dilemma was what happens here in NZ when I need a haircut? At first I thought that I would just grow it out. I wear a hat all the time anyway so who cares? Well, apparently Kate is quite fond of me with short hair and didn’t like it the last time I grew it out and started wearing truck stop hats and skateboard trainers. One answer was to use the many shearing stations they have dotted around here. NZ is famous for having nearly 10 sheep for every one person that lives here (well, it used to. They prefer cows here now), plus my surname used to be Woolley so the sheep shearers probably wouldn’t think twice. We decided that it probably wasn’t going to be a good idea to get my hair cut by some thick Kiwi called Dave who constantly smelt of Sheep’s wee and would cut my hair in about 7 seconds, slap me on the arse and send me out into a field. They have plenty of hairdressers out here but they charge around $40 for a haircut. Sod that I thought, considering I get my haircut every couple of months. We decided then to invest in some clippers of our own. Kate was as happy as a sandbag (as my old hairdressing Auntie once said) when she found out she would be cutting my hair for the next X amount of months. I must admit I was a bit scared. We all know, after all, that she is her father’s daughter and has inherited some of his unco-ordinatedness, his lack of spatial awareness and his clumsiness. I didn’t have much choice though so said a little prayer, took a long last look at my ears (just in case) and bit the bullet.

To be fair Kate did a blinding job. Well, I think she did. Most of my hair is on the back of my head so I can’t tell if she has done a great job or in fact shaved the word "TWAT" into it. Like I said though, I wear a hat a lot anyway, and will probably even more so now.

So anyway, the only real things to do in New Plymouth are surf (done that) or go tramping. No, that doesn’t mean wandering around town beating up hoboes, it means hiking. We had planned to do a bit of tramping on the south island but when we decided to come to Taranaki we thought we’d get our hiking boots out a bit early and make the most of the good weather. We drove up to the visitor centre on Mt Taranaki, which Biff didn’t like at all! Lots of twisty turning roads with big drops. Poor Biff didn’t venture out of second gear for most of it. When we got there we got our kit on and wandered off along the trails. We thought we’d just do some easy 1-hour loops first to ease our way in. We blitzed the first loop in 30 mins then blitzed the second in the same time. Was quite tired after that so decided to call it a day and head back to our campsite in New Plymouth. Hmmm, tramping was ok I guess. Quite tiring and very muggy, sort of like walking up and down lots of stairs in a rainforest really, which I guess is exactly what we did. Burned a few calories though which is all good. Shame that Mt Taranaki’s peak was shrouded in cloud as I hear it’s as impressive as Mt Fuji in Japan, although I bet it was a Kiwi who said that.

Life in the van is OK. We’ve been in Biff now for over a week and we’re starting to get into little patterns of putting the bed away and getting breakfast ready. One thing I have noticed is that I am peeing so much this week. This either means I am losing weight or have suddenly become Diabetic. Hopefully it’s that I’m losing weight. Well, I only mention this because one of the things about van life is the logistical nightmare of going for a wee. You have to get dressed for starters, then wander bleary eyed off to the toilet block and pee with about a thousand insects watching you. Oh, and another 1000 trying to eat you! It has meant though that as I have staggered off to the toilets at 1, 4 and 6am I have seen the most amazing skies. Big moons lighting up clouds with cool breezes blowing and more stars than you can imagine. But hey, that’s enough about wee.

I think calling our van Biff was a stroke of genius, and also very relevant. Especially since I biff my head at least 20 times a day. Biff is a high top van, which means there is easily 6 feet of height in the back. Unfortunately I am 6’ 3" so those top 3 inches get bashed about a bit on Biffs lights, door frames, shelves and awnings.

Still, van life is great. In fact there is nothing that can upset me today. Not since I have just found out that our best mate Lewy is now a daddy! Little baby Joshua was born in the early hours on the 9th of March. Congratulations guys. Kate and I are so sorry that we can’t be there to see you guys and give little Joshua a cuddle (and then wet his head). I must admit that this is the first time, of probably many times, that I have wanted to come home. To put everything on hold here, nip back for a week, see everyone then pop back here again. Why can’t they hurry up and invent teleportation? Anyway, Ian and Sheryl, we will have a crafty beer here to celebrate the new arrival of baby Joshua and look forward to some pics of the little critter. All the best guys. Good work.

Right, well we are off to Wanganui tomorrow for a few more restful days before heading inland to Lake Taupo and maybe, just maybe some ski diving (GULP!). Chat soon.

Peace

D

xxxx