Darrells blog

Epilogue - part one

2010-10-18T01:17:00.000-07:00

Well, helloooooooo there blog followers!!

Sorry about the seemingly camp introduction to this blog entry but i guess if you read the first sentence in a gruff voice, it sounds OK. So, i have been back in the UK for around six months now and thought i had better update the old status. Since arriving back, life has had its fair share of ups and downs. The ups have all been friend and family related and the downs have mostly been work related. I am still struggling my way through work but it sometimes seems there is a huge chasm in my knowledge of all the crazy high risk, life threatening chaos that i endure on what seems to be a daily basis. The first few months back at work were awesome. I hit the ground running and slotted straight back into doing one of the things i think i do best which is supporting women in labour. I had some amazing experiences which only went on to reinforce the fact that i believe midwifery is my calling. I had some amazing births, enlightened my colleagues and influenced their practise for the good. I knew it was very much a honeymoon period though and suspected it was the calm before the storm. Little did i knew it was a storm of Hurricane Katrina like proportions.

I won't stress you with all the gory details but imagine your worst ever day at work, then multiply it by a thousand, stir in some sleep deprivation and sprinkle with a tablespoon of the worst luck you could possibly have and you might get a rough idea of just how shit the whole 6 weeks (yes, 6 weeks!!) of the end of August/whole of September was for me.

I think i totally jinxed myself though. I knew that the honeymoon period would be over soon so i applied for a few jobs at local hospitals in preparation. I got offered posts and actually accepted a job at the nearest hospital to me, Frimley Park. I then had a bit of a bad week at work but felt unbelievably supported by my colleagues and after much reflection and thought decided to actually stay loyal to the only ever maternity unit i have worked at and stay. Since making that choice though work has been relentless!! I have managed to fluke my way through 3 years of nurse training, 18 months of midwifery training and 8 years of midwifery practice where it was always deemed "quiet." Never too manic, always fairly chilled and relaxed. Yes the odd busy day here and there but that's the nature of my work. You are either fairly busy or fairly quiet. The days were you are at a constant are probably more rare. Well, since my decision to stay at Queen Charlottes Hospital, it has gone completely mental!! Something i have never seen before and naturally struggled to deal with. My 90 minute commute to and from work had been a breeze up until then but suddenly seemed a massive encumbrance at the beginning and end of my 13 hour shifts. At times it seemed like as soon as i got home after a long day and my head hit the pillow, my alarm would go off and i had to do it all again. I was exhausted, which meant my days off were spent lounging around not wanting to move too far from the couch. It frustrated me, especially since i had just spent the previous 15 months being so active and enthusiastic with a real thirst for life. Now i just wanted the days to pass until i could spend the day in bed. I was lucky enough to recognise this though and realign my priorities. I started planning. I find planning an amazing way of obviously giving yourself something to look forward to, some goals, some ambition.

I changed my diet. I planned an exercise regime. I started trying to get out there a bit more. Not just outside, but out there more socially. It worked as well as up until now i have lost over 30 pounds in weight and for a time felt re energised and rejuvenated. Work it seems though, is the exact anti remedy to feeling upbeat. The relentless grind of 15 hour days on my feet, stressed out of my head soon crept up and the last fortnight have been a real struggle. The exercise regime has ceased, the healthy foods long gone and the feeling of life has eeked away. Every morning is a struggle to hoist myself out of bed and drag my sorry hide into work. But there is light at the end of this gloomy tunnel.

Firstly, my sisters wedding in Florida next week. I have been counting down the shifts until i have my nearly 3 week break. Amazingly after 15 months away travelling, i almost see 2 weeks in Florida as like a weekend away. It will be the lightest weight i have been in America since i was 14! That might not sound like a big deal but bear in mind that nearly all the clothes i posses have been purchased there and you get some idea of how i excited i am the be going. I love the laid back fashion of the 4 S's, as i call them (Skiing, Skateboarding, Surfing and Snowboarding) and of course America has so many shops where i can find such attire. In the past i have relished the fact that America has quite an obesity problem so all the shops stocked large sizes which suited my ample build. Now though, as i sit here in my medium sized t-shirt with something close to resembling a waistline, i can go for a few more of the trendier styles. Don't get me wrong, you will never see me in a pair of skinny jeans and a huge baseball cap but i no longer have to hide my tubby girth under a huge hoodie.

So Florida will be off the chain. I then have 2 skiing trips in January to look forward too. Both have given me a focus to get myself back into my fitness regime as from personal experience, skiing is a lot easier when you have a modicum of fitness. I'm super psyched to be getting back on the snow too.

But the biggy is that i might be potentially heading back to NZ!! One of the factors in making my decision to stay at Queen Charlottes was the money. Now, i know i will never be a millionaire working as a midwife but if i do decide to head back it will be nice if we can get our savings back into the respectable shape they were in before we embarked on our travels. We are not too far from that and the extra money i make from working in London will help us get back to that point a lot quicker. That is if i don't go mad in Florida and spend it all on jeans!! We have sent our details off to an emigration agency who have assessed us and want to meet for a consultation which will be cool. Just to hear what their thoughts are and what advice they can give.

In my eyes its a no brainer going back there. I haven't been THAT happy since i was in my late teens, before the onus of college and a career took me. Yeah, it will be hard saying goodbye to my family but to be honest it hasn't been the same since we got back. My sister has been very occupied with her wedding but we have still managed to stay close and see each other all the time. I have seen more of my sister Kes as she comes down to Hampshire a fair bit and have seen all my Hampshire crowd regularly. My mum has been very distant though which i am really surprised about. I heard from her more while i was away (mainly through this blog, lol) then i have since i got back. Initially it was great but recently it has been none existent. I know relationships are a two way street and can't put all the blame on her but if she only knew the drama i have been through these last few months.........................I guess i don't want to further burden her with my problems as i know she has enough on her plate as it is. I feel my sisters wedding has caused her to distance herself from us and i don't know why. When i got married it brought us all closer together but i know my mum is in a very different situation to back then. She just seems a lot less motivated this time, a fact my sister has picked up on big time. It's a shame really as all we need to do is talk and yet none of us want to, or are too busy doing mundane things. Maybe she will find her way on to my blog again soon and see this post and take the hint, ahem! Or maybe i will just call her. She doesn't do that thing that most mums do and complain that i never call, but maybe she should. Or maybe she should just call us. I think once the wedding is out of the way, and my sister has stopped hounding her for money, passports and what not, she will relax and get back into her old ways. I mean, jeez mum i haven't even had an email from you for ages!! LOL.

So, in summary:
Work = shite
Friends = awesome
Family = room for improvement
Travel = awesome
Life = hopefully on the up

Yeah, we will just have to see what goes down over the next few months. Christmas is gonna be a clincher. It's my favourite time of year, I'll be with my family, I'll be dripping in fresh new American clothes, I'll be excited about skiing in January and hopefully work won't dampen any of that! Fat chance.

Peace Y'all

D

XXXX

Home at last

2010-04-12T10:14:00.000-07:00

So, the only travelling i will be doing over the next X amount of months will probably be to work. Sigh. No, it feels amazing to be home. Almost like i never left. Which felt very very weird.

Our flight home was extremely pleasant due to me pre booking some bulk head seats so we had extra leg room. Kates dad met us at the airport which was quite emotional. When i got back to Kates house we dumped our gear and headed straight out to get some new mobile phones. I finally got my iphone (which i have been waiting to get since they came out ages ago!) We then braved the London traffic to venture over to my mums. Wow, i hadn't realised just how much i hate driving in London. Seeing my mum and my little sister was amazing but after a few minutes we were back to our usual chats and again it felt as if i hadn't seen them in just a few days not over 14 months.

The next few days entailed busying ourselves looking at flats and cars before my sister Jodie throwing us a big family party at her house. It was awesome seeing all our lot and catching up. It was another late night for us talking into the wee hours and drinking and eating way too much. We are staying at my sisters until we sort ourselves a place to live at. Which wasn't very long as we were lucky enough to find an amazing flat in a really nice area. We were the first to look at it and snapped it up. I also finally bought a car which i pick up tomorrow. Good thing too as Kates car broke down the day after we got home and has spent the last few days in repair. A combination of Kates dad, my sister and my cousin have been ferrying us around while sort everything out.

We have decided to rent for now as don't want to commit ourselves to staying. I imagine it won't be long before the clean crisp mountain vistas of Qtown start to yearn to me. My sister Jodie is planning to get married in Florida in October so we are definitely gonna be here until then. After signing all these year long leases and contracts though i imagine we'll be here a while. I still have tons to do so have to keep this blog short. I'm hoping to create a nice epilogue at some point. Will keep you posted.

Peace

D

XXXX

Home time

2010-04-06T07:52:00.000-07:00

Today is finally the day i go home. I'm sad, naturally, but also really really excited to see my family again. I'm gonna be super busy over the next few weeks which will be a good distraction i suppose as i have to sort out like everything! Car, phone, internet and of course, somewhere to live. I'd like to have it all done before i start back at work too. My sister is throwing us a big party at hers this weekend but i also have loads of others wanting to see us before then. Understandable but i just hope I'm not too jet lagged when i get back to blighty. I've been running on around 6 hours sleep since we left NZ so hopefully a little shut eye on the plane will suffice.

Since my last blog entry we haven't really done much except travel about. Whilst in Banff we decided to explore the local penis themed lakes. They have Lake Minnewanka and Lake Johnson just outside the town. Both were really pretty and had already started there spring thaw. We also drove up to Lake Louise which, although being still really frozen, was stunning with it's sheer dramatic mountains rising from the waters edge. I had seen it before on a miserable drizzly day but this time it was far more impressive. People were venturing out onto the ice but i decided to stay on land. We also explored the bow valley parkway which i guess was the original road from Calgary to Lake louise. It was very twisty and windy but nice and quiet and still had a feel of being off the beaten track. We saw a few deer and i think i saw a wolf but Kates bear watch was unfruitful. She was very optimistic as a large male grizzly bear was seen there a few days before. The males are all awake now and desperate for food so they hug the train tracks as a lot of trains leak grain. A local told us a story of a bear that hoped onto a slow moving train but couldn't get off and rode it all the way to Manitoba. Imagine the train workers in Manitoba when that train stopped. Apparently it caused a bit of havoc in the city. Cool huh?

We left Banff on the Easter Saturday. The town population had swelled somewhat for the Easter weekend but it was still cool to have one last shop. The coolest thing about Banff for me was that not only is it a stunning place but it snowed every day we were there. I do love Banff but could never live there. They make it near impossible to move there as it's in the national park and they have a shed load of restrictions. It'll still be a desirable holiday spot for me though. We also saw pop legend Pete Waterman there.

From Banff we headed out of the rockies to Calgary. It marked the end of Kates bear watch once and for all. It was pretty sad as we passed the last mountain and she said "ah well, that's the end of bearwatch." Number of hours spent looking for a bear? Hundreds. Bears seen? Zero. I told her we needed to be there later in the year and the fact that we saw a crap load of other animals made up for it. After being in Banff, Calgary and Edmonton were pretty much after thoughts. They were only really places to stay in to kill a little time until we flew home. I was keen to go back to them to just create some new positive memories about them. Calgary is very similar to most north American cities. It is famous for the Stampede which is a huge cowboy related festival that happens later in the year. Other than that there isn't a lot more else to see or do. It has a really pretty island park in the middle of the city but it is over populated with eager joggers all hours of the day. There are a few remote spots where you can relax and feel serene though with the huge city scape over looking you. It is a very clean and modern city. It has it's fair share of trendy areas and shopping havens but if you ever go there over an Easter weekend, bear in mind most of it will be closed.

So i now sit in my Edmonton hotel. I thought i was gonna be here a little longer than we are so had arranged to meet a friend who lives here and also to meet a friend who lived just outside the city in a town called Leduc. Either way i had to message them and tell them i had cocked up but I'm sure they will be fine with it. So Edmonton is a pretty nice city if you like shopping, like we do. It has the WEM (West Edmonton Mall) as well as other huge shopping areas. We got into town a little early yesterday so decided to check out the WEM. I think it was at one point the largest shopping mall in the world and due to the horrendous winters they have here it caters a lot more than just shops. It has an ice rink, mini golf, cinema, theme park, pirate ship complete with sea lion show and a huge indoor waterpark. You could quite easily spend a whole day there. We had a quick whizz around the shops not really looking for anything in particular and had a nice lunch. We then checked into our hotel, played a little online poker then decided to finally go to the Keg. We have often looked at menus and adverts for the huge steakhouses that have been scattered along our route on the Canadian leg of our trip. We have always decided it looked over priced but as it was our last night we thought we'd finally have one. Oh my god it was such a nice meal! We sat at the bar while our table was prepared, had a nice glass of wine and felt quite civilised for the first time in a long time. Our food was amazing! Kate had a baseball topped sirloin, a steak so thick they can only cook it medium rare! Perfect as any steak cooked more than that is a waste in my eyes. I had a huge slab of tender prime rib. Ah man it was so good - drools on keyboard. I still have a food baby from it! I'm gonna be digesting that for weeks! It was a good way to sign off from our trip for sure.

And now it is all coming to a head. All i have to do now is load up the car, drop it at the airport and wait til our flight. I checked in online last night which was genius as we got to choose our seats. I of course nabbed the ones with the leg room but we will see as i know it's not guaranteed. It has been such a weird few days. Sometimes i just feel all the energy leave me and a monumental sigh leaves my body but then a few minutes later i am giddy with excitement. It is a real roller coaster of emotion. I am super amped about seeing all my kin though and can't wait. I am of course a little down about this all coming to an end and the prospect of reality and responsibility.

I have always loved Canada and it was always the the first place i saw myself emigrating to but this time my opinion has changed. Yes, the skiing was awesome considering the low snowfall they have had, and yes the people are amazing but it just doesn't feel as homely, as spectacular as it once was. It isn't New Zealand. It just isn't Queenstown. I think we lucked out so much with that place and i find it really difficult to find reasons not to go back. I think i will have to think long and hard about it. Before all that though i want to go home and see my family and to do all the things i have missed so much on this trip. I always wondered how i would cope with all this travelling. It was simple really. Yes the last week or so has been an effort in comparison but before that it was effortless. Yes, we didn't quite take the traditional backpackers route. We didn't stay in too many hostels or live off pot noodles but we are successful 30 year olds and didn't need to. In a way i am glad we waited until now to travel. It allowed us luxuries we probably wouldn't have had if we had tried the same trip 10 years ago. It certainly enhanced our experience. I think a lot of reflection will occur over the next few weeks, some of it to guide future decisions but most of it to try and reinforce the memories of a really special time in my life. I will let you know how i get on, as ever.

Peace

D

XXXX

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

2010-03-31T18:54:00.000-07:00

A pretty eventful week this week. Golden turned out to be quite restful. We managed to get up to Kicking Horse ski resort and although i thought it was a little small and over priced for what it was, i thoroughly enjoyed it. We got chatting to a few locals on the gondola and talked about our travels and all the skifields we'd visited. They asked what i thought of their resort but I'm not sure they liked my response and gave us the silent treatment for the rest of the stupidly slow gondola ride. I was just honest when i said i thought it was small and overpriced. I took Kate down a few quite steep black runs which she did not enjoy one bit. She can ski steep stuff but hates it when they get mogully (not like the jungle book character of the same name). These were easily the steepest runs i had taken her on. She was too tentative and took a couple of spills which ended in long slides on her arse down most of the run. It knocked her confidence a bit and seemed to drain what little energy she usually runs on causing her to want to call it a day pretty early. I got a few more runs out of her and found a sweet little jump over some trees which i nailed and was stoked about.

We also explored the small town and had a little walk along the kicking horse river. We drove out of town to reflection lake but the wind got up which made any reflection impossible. I think Golden would be a nice place to visit in the summer as apart from the skiing, there isn't a great deal else to do. In summer you can paraglide, kayak and go tramping, if you don't mind all the bears. So apart from skiing all we did was relax and play a little online poker. I had a right result as i got my first ever royal flush. Basically it is the highest ranked hand and is unbeatable. The odds of getting a royal flush are 1 in 649,000 so as you can imagine, i was pretty happy. What made it even better was that i had position and just sat back and watched as people kept raising and raising. One guy pushed all in and i gleefully called and won a huge pot. Bahahahahaha - evil cackle. I'm not doing too bad online either. They say a good return is about 12% after 200 games. I'm still about 15 bucks up so not doing too bad.

So we left Golden and i was quite keen to get back to Banff which was our next stop. I spent a month there a few years back and met some really cool people and had an amazing time. I was looking forward to getting back there especially since this time it'll will be under better circumstances and with far less stress and strain. As soon as i got into town i was in awe of all the amazing dramatic mountains that over look it. Banff is in the Banff national park, which is the oldest in Canada, so they aren't allowed to cut many trees down. It means the town is stunning. The Bow river cuts through the it, it's so fresh and clean because it's illegal to drop litter yet the town is modern and dynamic. It's a total tourist trap with millions of hotels and souvenir shops but it's still such a cool place. What made it that much cooler was that as soon as we got into town it started snowing. Like dumping down! Banff has a proper long winter but just like the rest of Canada it has not snowed as much as previous years. It is so much colder here and i was hopeful we would see some fresh white stuff and mother nature did not disappoint. Sunshine Village which is the local resort got 14cm followed by another 17cm. The last time i was in Banff it was a few weeks later in the year yet it was still crazy cold. One day it was -30 degrees, the snot froze in my nose and then it dumped 60cm of snow in the space of about 10 hours! So, i told Kate to wrap up warm, which turned out to be very good advice. The windchill easily dropped the temperature down to about -15 degrees and the gusts blew so much snow off the trees it made visibility a problem. Sunshine is a big resort and after a few hours in the deep snow, we were knackered. Kate has started to get used to skiing in deeper snow and i have started just trying to jump off everything i can when the snow is that deep. It was a really good day once we got over just how cold and windy it was.

Banff is the first real mountain town we have stayed in. Fernie was a mountain town but is no where near as picturesque as Banff. The great thing about it is that even though it's a small place, it has a throbbing social scene. It reminds me a lot of Qtown in that it has a lot of bars and restaurants. Not as many as Qtown but enough to keep you interested. We earned a few beers so decided to go to an Irish bar for happy hour. What a rip!! It was the most pointless happy hour ever! 2 beers cost $11 during happy hour and $12.50 after!? In my books that's not a happy hour. Still, the beer slid down nicely and after some awesome ribs at Tony Romas we stumbled home through the snow to our hotel.

Another thing we have looked at doing whilst we have been in Canada is dog sledding. There have been a few places that have done it but there has just not been enough snow to warrant it. It's pretty pricey but after all the snow we have had here, we decided to go for it. We drove out to Canmore which is the nearest big town to Banff and signed up for some dog sledding that afternoon. We spent the morning in Canmore, had a nice lunch then explored. The town is just outside the national park so is more developed. It had some amazing houses and little communities on the outskirts of the town. As we explored we came across a huge herd of massive elk which made Kates morning. She is still constantly on bear watch but is always psyched to see any wildlife. So far we have seen elk, deer, mountain goats and sheep, eagles and loads of squirrels. No bears though. Our dog sled guide drove us high up into the mountains for our tour. We stopped by Spray lakes which used to be a collection of lots of small lakes which were all excavated into one huge lake which supplies water for the town. We were the only people on our tour so helped our guide harness the dogs and attach them to the sled. I was all ready to get my "mush" on but instead the command was "up up up up up!" The dogs were so cute and were a husky/greyhound cross bred for speed. They flew as well, even with my fat ass in the sled. We rode about 5k before stopping at the lake for some hot chocolate and a snow ball fight. Well, i threw Kate in the knee deep snow and hit her with some snow balls while she moaned at me. On the way back we both got to be mushers and guide the sled. The dogs were relentless and even pee'd and pooped on the run! They were so cute and if they got tired they just chomped at the snow for a little drink on the run and carried on. One dog in particular, called Dawson took our fancy as he was obviously a bit slow. Not physically but in the mind. He looked like he had some hound in him and spent most of the time running forward but looking back at us in the sled and barking. Our guide reckoned he had an IQ of 30. Bless him. When we got back we fed the dogs and said our goodbyes. It was so cool. Yes, at first i thought it was a little cruel but these dogs are bred to pull sleds and they seem to really enjoy it. Whenever we slowed or stopped they barked and tugged at the reigns to get going again. Kate and I are both dog people too so we were always gonna love it. I highly recommend it as it allows you to see some truly stunning scenery and meet some amazing animals.

We are coming down to it now and it's only a week until we come home. We still have a few hundred more miles to travel and at least one more day of skiing so still a lot to look forward to. I'm looking forward to coming home and seeing my family. Just such a shame i have to go back to work in a couple of weeks. Sigh. I guess I'll just have to think of the money.

Peace

D

XXXX

Golden showers and the Cockhouse

2010-03-24T16:53:00.000-07:00

All i have to say about Montana is WOW! I decided long ago (never to walk in anyones shadow!?!) that living in the USA was completely out of the question. I mean, for one Americans can be pretty dumb and xenophobic but i was more worried about all the guns. So many Americans stockpile weapons, for what i'm not sure, and you can walk into any hunting shop, fill out a form and in a few weeks you are entrusted with a lethal weapon. I know the UK was having a lot of problems with knife crime in London before we left but here it's all about shootings. I watched a programme about teenage gun crime where kids as young as 13 were taking guns to school and going mental. So as i said, America was always gonna be a place high on the visit list but was never going to be considered as a place to settle. Well, that was until we hit Montana. It was such a beautiful place with a real laid back cowboy feel. The town of Whitefish was awesome! I doubt it has changed much a lot in the last 50 years. The walk down main street reminded me of a town from the old west with it's saloon style bars and shops. My nan would absolutely love it too as every other shop sold cowboy hats and native American artifacts. She loves all that crap. It was crazy cheap too. Food, skiing and lodging all way cheaper than the rest of north America. We looked at the local real estate as well and that was also super cheap. Saw a nice 3 bedroom house on a few acres for next to nothing. It's pretty remote though and is still a long way from any large city.

The ski resort of Whitefish was probably the friendliest hill i have ever been to. All but one person on the chairlifts spoke to us. The snow was awesome too which turned the day into a monumental one. It hadn't snowed there for a while and was quite hard and crusty in the morning but as the spring sunshine warmed the hill the snow softened and it was epic! The hill is surprisingly big with lots of small runs which allowed us to settle in before hitting the main longer runs. All for only $60 too which is well cheap. I don't quite understand just why skiing in the USA is so much cheaper than in Canada. The resorts in Canada have been a little bigger than the average American resorts but I'm not sure that justifies them being around $15 more per day! It was certainly a welcome break to the wallet which is continuously being strained while we are away. Still, we have the money and this is a once in a life time type deal so I'm not too bothered. I'd like to have a little bit left though for when i get home.

Montana also seemed to have way more wildlife. Since we left Vancouver we had seen a grand total of 4 crows on the roads on Canada. As soon as we crossed the border, which was amazingly smooth considering the border patrol had never seen the type of visa we had to get into the USA, we were surrounded by elk, deer and golden and bald eagles. Like proper surrounded too. I had to stop the car to allow a family of elk to cross the road whilst 2 massive eagles sat by the side of the road eating some unfortunate road kill. This will change though as we head north and east through Canada. Last time i was in that part of the world i saw bears and shared a bus stop with a very tame elk. Kate is permanently on bear watch when we drive. It is the perfect time of year for them to be coming out of hibernation and due to the unusually warm weather, i imagine they are already "oot and aboot" as they say in these parts.

From Whitefish we headed back up to Canada and settled in Cranbrook. A pretty dull town which we just used to break up the long drive and also to go to the small resort of Kimberley. We drove there but when we got to the bottom of the hill it looked pretty bare with not much snow. The website called it "Spring conditions" which looks like translates as "No snow." There were a few runs open and some people skiing but we both decided it wasn't going to be worth the price of a lift ticket. Especially since the next few ski fields are the most expensive we will visit. So we decided to save our pennies and head back to Cranbrook.

I was quite glad to leave Cranbrook as it was a pretty boring place but I really enjoyed the drive to our next stop, Golden. I have been to Golden a few times but only as a stop on road trips from Banff to Revelstoke. Last time i was here i found it hilarious as there was a RV park which had this huge billboard by the freeway advertising its showers. The way it was worded though made it look like it was advertising Golden showers, eww!! I also noticed a place called the Grizzly Grill cookhouse but the sign had faded so it looked like the Grizzly Grill cockhouse! I ate there but there was no penis on the menu.

Golden is a really pretty place with the Kicking horse river cutting through the town and the ski resort, of the same name, overlooking us from the mountain. We plan to head up to Kicking Horse tomorrow for a bit of a ski. Usually we would come back and have a nice long soak in the tub but our hotel is the first one we have had without a bath. Looks like I'll be having a Golden shower after all eh?

We are here for a few days before heading back to my favourite place in Canada, Banff. I am so looking forward to getting back to the quiet little mountain town but also because as most ski resorts are getting ready to close up for the season, Sunshine Village in Banff is still getting good snow and will still be open for another 6 weeks!! I can't wait.

Peace

D

XXXX

Weekend in the USA

2010-03-19T13:41:00.000-07:00

All the talk of global warming has got a bit tedious but i am certainly seeing the effects here. I know we have come to Canada in spring but i expected much colder harsher conditions than we have been experiencing. There are pros and cons to this other than the imminent rising of the seas and the dilution of the gulf stream which will plunge the UK into a permanent winter. Here it has meant that snow levels are even lower than last years disastrous levels. That said we are still enjoying our skiing. It isn't as nearly as epic as i had hoped but compared to NZ it is still pretty special. The lack of snow though has produced a massive advantage. That being that the roads are so clear. As we drove out of Vancouver with our little nissan laden with skis and suitcases we had to drive quite a way until we saw the inevitable "carry chains or have good winter tires" road sign. We don't have either and i was obviously a little concerned as we have planned to head off into the Rockies. We have been lucky though and the only icy/snowy roads we have encountered were on our way up to Big White. Luckily they had just had an 18cm dump of fresh okanagan powder. The drive up was a little slick but we made it up no problem. The resorts here are so much more money than the hills we skied in Utah but when people offer you tickets in the parking lot and save you $50, it really helps! So with our scalped tickets we headed off into the fresh powder. I skied like a man possessed with the fear off falling or hurting myself pushed right to the back of my mind. Such soft fresh snow is like skiing while wrapped in cotton wool. I flung myself off anything that resembled a jump or ledge and shit myself on a huge jump which i thought was a lot smaller. I nailed the landing though and rode off whooping and hollering with delight. Kate had never skied in such new snow and was way too tentative. In deeper snow you have to let yourself go and trust your technique. The fresh grippy snow slows you down but you have to work harder to turn. She struggled on our first run and said she didn't like it. I laughed and told her to just go for it. Kate tends to almost hockey stop each turn to control her speed which is near impossible in deep snow but once i got her carving a bit more she was away! We had such a good day and even my crash into a tree couldn't dampen my spirits. It was pure comedy as i flew over this ridge and landed on a steep which shot me forward at, quite literally, break neck speed. I tried to slow myself but knew a hockey stop in the deep snow would just shot my head first down the hill, so i traversed the slope pointing my skis more uphill. Gravity wasn't my friend in this instance though as i ran out of piste and clattered into the branches of a pine tree by the side of the slope. I collapsed into the deep snow which cushioned me nicely. As Kate cleared the ledge a woman who had seen my spectacular stack asked her if we were together and that she should check up on me but when i emerged from the tree pissing myself laughing, she knew i was OK. Her concern was further extinguished when she skied up to me and noticed a piece of tree sticking out of my goggles like some sort of pine mono brow.

Big White was amazing. Great snow but a bit crowded by Canadian standards. It is spring break here though so that explains it (screams "SPRING BREAK!!" and throws an egg from my car at a passer by - just like what happened to my mother in law in Florida. It left a nasty bruise!). Brighton is still our number one place with Big White now a very close second.

The icy conditions on the roads continued as we left Big White and headed straight over to Rossland. It is a tiny little town sunk down in a snow filled valley just north of the USA border. Not exactly Kelowna in its glamour but still pretty quaint. They have a ski field there called Red Mountain which is famous for it's gladed tree runs. We suffered the next few days though from our exploits at Big White and although the lift passes were free, we never made it up the hill. We had only planned to stay a day there before heading off to Fernie but ended up spending that day in our room aching, popping pain killers and muscle relaxants. In a quiet moment in Kelowna i had joined an internet poker site so Kate also joined and we spent the whole day playing poker. I managed to double my $30 bankroll in about 20 minutes in a cash game so was well pleased but have since lost most of it and decided to just stick to sit and go tournaments. You can win a lot of money playing cash games but you an also lose a lot. Having not played online, other than Facebook (where i have over $6 million in fake chips), i need a bit more practice i think. I came second in a sit and go and won $16 but other than that i have only had a few cashes. Kate has started to do well and has also had a few cashes. We are sticking to very small stakes at the moment so anything we win isn't exactly gonna allow us to run out and buy a new porsche!

So we headed to Fernie and settled into our last hostel of this trip. It's all hotels after that. Now i'm not a snob, i lived in van for a year for Christs sake, but the hostel we stayed in in Fernie was a bit rough. No, it was actually OK but i think our room was above the sauna! Man it was baking in our room all the time. I opened the window one night but had to close it when it started snowing on our gear. The heat was a problem at night but what was worst was the constant stench of ganja! I know that Canada has quite relaxed laws and opinions on marijuanna use but it was relentless. I'm sure it had an effect on my eating habits too as every night i lay in bed craving brownies.

Fernie was our first real mountain town and the ski resort is was only a few miles from the town centre. It was a pretty little town with the usual ski and snowboard shops. I took the opportunity to demo some skis i have had my eye on for a while. Back when i bought my skis in Canada a few years ago i looked at some Volkl Gotamas. They were out of my price range but since then they have been redisgned. Skis are actually cheaper in the UK than in Canada but back home we have a distinct lack of ski resorts so i thought I'd give them a try. We headed up the hill after 4cm of new snow but the conditions were terrible. The lower half of the mountain was an ice rink but once we kept above the mid mountain it was pretty good. The demo skis worked well but I'm not sure i want to part with the money just yet. Plus I'd wait til i was home anyway as they're cheaper but they would just sit in the shed til next winter. No point.

We were woken this morning by a knock on our room door informing us we hadn't checked out of our room yet. We looked at each other both thinking we still had another night. After a quick check of our trip planner on the laptop though we discovered that we should already be on the road to Montana. Oops. We hastily got dressed and packed and left. To be honest i was pretty glad to leave our hostel, especially since it smelt like a Amsterdam coffee shop.

So we have now arrived in Whitefish in Montana. The drive here was the most stunning scenery we have passed through yet since leaving Aoteroa (NZ). Huge glacial lakes, big pine forests and the odd deer crossing the road. Pretty sweet. We are just here for the weekend before heading back up to Canada to Cranbrook. Hopefully there will be a few end of season dumps of snow over our last few weeks here. Well, if the snow does start to thaw we can always play online poker. It's a win win situation either way.

Peace

D

XXXX

March at 'leventh

2010-03-11T13:39:00.000-08:00

Today is my sisters birthday. It is the second birthday of hers i have missed while i have been away. I feel bad as out of my vast family, she is the one person i miss the most. I doubt any brother has the same sort of relationship with their sister as i do with mine. You could say i am a protective big brother but not in the traditional sense. I don't lord it over her and shield her from harm but i would gladly give my life if it meant she never felt an ounce of pain. We have been through so much together and there is no bigger sanctuary for me then in my sisters arms. She supports me without even realising. Yes she has her flaws, as does everyone but other than her addiction to catalogue shopping, pinot grigio and a penchant for rough sex (i saw that bruise on your bum!!), in my eyes she is truly amazing. When i think back to the things that i miss whilst i am on this huge adventure it's amazing to me just how many of them involve my little sister in some sort of way. It's simple things like just chatting in her kitchen, or watching her kids play football in the rain, or the numerous meals my soon to be brother in law cooks for us. Whether it's barbeque's in the sunshine with a cold beer or just rushed cups of tea, i love just being around my sister and her family. Since i moved to Northolt when Jodie lived near Charville, we have not really been more than a few miles apart. Considering that between the ages of 8 - 15 i hardly ever saw her. Those first few years though cemented a bond between us that is difficult to explain. All i know is that i am not afraid to say that i love my sister so much and i miss her all the time. I am so sorry sis that i have missed another birthday but i am sending you tons of love from the other side of the world and soon I'll be living in Harry Jacks room and you won't be able to get rid of me! XXXX

Right well, back to the issue of this blog thing. Vancouver produced some very unseasonable weather for us and it felt good to stroll around without a coat on. I met up with a friend from Queenstown too called Rob. He worked with me at Coronet Peak and we were on the same dodgeball team. I remember making him feel really bad when he accidentally hurled a dodgeball into the face of one of our female opponents. I knew he didn't mean it but i enjoyed winding him up. He left Qtown before the end of the season to get a jump start on his Canada trip and has been here for the last 5 months. As he missed the end of the season i had loads of gossip for him. I think Rob had only intended a quick drink and a catch up but we ended up getting quite a bit drunk. After he left me and Kate got down to the proper drinking back in our hotel bar. I woke the next day with a crushing headache! I had forgotten just how strong Canadian beer is. I have become accustomed to NZs smoother less powerful beers, which i prefer. We spent most of the day in bed but when we did eventually venture out to get some food we randomly bumped into Rob in our hotel lobby! He was there cashing a cheque as he had been working in the bar next door for the Olympics. He invited us out for another beer but we gracefully declined. He was quite interested in our travels across Canada as he is keen to get out on his snowboard. I emailed where we will be and when and left it up to him if he wants to meet anywhere. It was good seeing him again as he is a really nice guy.

We spent one of our last days there by going shopping. We travelled out to the Metrotown Mall on the train were i encountered a peculiar sign about pick pockets. I stated that you should beware as Vancouver has the best pick pockets in the world. A bold claim i thought. What, did they have some sort of college? The Artful dodger school of dipping? Or the Fagan institute? Have they not seen Oliver? London practically invented dipping!!

Oh another thing i have learnt to my peril - Never trust google! That website fucked me over so much in Vancouver. Lets say i fancied a burger king. I'd google it to find the nearest shop, get directions by google map, commit it to memory, walk miles to get there to find no frickin burger king! It fucked me over at least twice! Either that or Vancouver keeps changing and relocating stuff to keep one step ahead of them. Annoying.

So we left Vancouver and it's vast sprawl. It is such an amazing place. The downtown area is quite compact and some of the neighbouring districts are stunning. We drove through west and north vancouver on the other side of the harbour and those places have an amazing view and sunset out across the bay. From Vancouver we picked up our car for the next month and headed to Kamloops. Kamloops, according to numerous travel guides, has nowhere of any interest except the ski resort Sun Peaks. They are not lying! What a strange place. Driving from Vancouver you pass through valleys and mountains and huge pine forests which are beautiful before you get to the browny grey hole in the ground that is Kamloops. The hills and mountains would ordinarily be pretty impressive if you hadn't just drove through some stunning scenery. It's quite a small industrial town too so chimneys pop out all over the place and spew smoke up into the clean mountain air. The only reason we stopped there was for Sun Peaks and it didn't disappoint. The resort was huge, the second biggest in British Columbia to Whistler. It had just had a light dusting of snow and our first few runs of the day on the middle mountain were awesome. We then ventured over to the bigger mountain which had a bit more steeper terrain and had seemed to have missed the new snow. It was much icier too so we went back to the middle mountain before checking out the third mountain they have there. Yes, three mountains. The third mountain was good because no one was there and the fresh snow lay pretty much untouched. We had a really good day but it wasn't as good as the day we had back in Brighton in Utah. A close second.

We were quite keen to leave the grey brown Kamloops and head to our next stop, Kelowna. On the way we stopped for an afternoon at Silver Star which is another ski resort. We were a bit sketchy about the fact they hadn't had snow for over a week but this is Canada and they still had over 2 metres to ski on. It was a much smaller resort and we pretty much covered it all in just a few hours. It was surprisingly good considering the lack of fresh snow and was our first taste of Okanagan powder. The Okanagan Valley has world famous snow called champagne powder. It's some of the driest, lightest, fluffiest snow in the world and i have been waiting to get here for years. The snow was good but without fresh stuff it just felt like normal snow. The other resort in the Okanagen valley is Big White, which is just down the road from our Kelowna hotel. As i look out of my hotel window up to the hills it is dumping snow up there and I can't wait til tomorrow when we'll get up there.

Kelowna is called Canadas California. I can kind of see why. It sits low in the Okanagen valley and straddles both side of the long thin Okanagan Lake. The lake has beaches and the town has an active winter and summer season. There are beach volley ball and basketball courts dotted along the lake front. The town is over looked by snow capped hills and mountains and is the closest looking place we have seen to Qtown. Not as dramatic but close. It is one of the largest growing communities in Canada and with the gorgeous scenery, lake and ski resorts, it's easy to see why. It might help that Lake Okanagan has a loch ness type monster too, apparently. Don't know many facts and other than the loch ness monster statue down by the lakefront, it's not exactly a massively publicised thing. Not a souvenir shop in sight. I always imagine Loch Ness to have "Nessy" based souvenir shops and tourist havens everywhere. But hey, this is Canada after all. They are so modest here it's ridiculous. I guess when your nearest neighbours are brash, loud, smug Americans it's not difficult to see why though.

So far i have really liked Kelowna. I knew i would just because of it's similarities to Qtown but i am really looking forward to some okanagen powder tomorrow. Wow, that sounds a bit like a drug reference eh? We've only planned to stay a few days before heading southeast down to Rossland but i really wish we had planned a longer stay. I'll let you know how we get on.

Happy Birthday sis. I love and miss you millions. I hope you have an awesome birthday.

Peace

D

XXXX

Wood watching

2010-03-03T16:34:00.000-08:00

Just a quickie today guys. Wow, it seems I'm on a roll when it comes to this embarrassing myself in public malarkey. We drove back from Torfino all ready to drop off the car and get the bus but decided to see if we could extend the hire car for a few more days. The hire car company were closed for lunch so we decided to go to the rental place next door instead and see if they could do us some sort of deal. Now the crappy rent-a-wreck car we had was an oldsmobile alero which is quite a low sleek sporty looking car, which for someone who is 6 foot 3 inches like myself, is a slight problem when getting in and out of the damn thing. It almost looks like one of those clown cars when you see a giant clown unfold himself out of a tiny car. Well, i guess i must've caught my baggy jeans on something as i was getting out of the car because when i was in the Budget rental shop next door i suddenly realised my ass felt a bit cold. We agreed to just rent from them and decided to drop our piece of shit oldsmobile back. When they brought our new hire car out we went outside to check it over for dings and stuff and my ass suddenly went very cold! I reached back to feel what the deal was and realised the whole left side of my butt cheek was hanging out! My jeans were totally shredded. Being pretty used to embarrassing myself in public by now i pointed it out to Kate and the dude showing us the car. What i had forgot though was that it's been a while since we have done any laundry and I'm down to my emergency boxers. Emergency boxers are the tatty ones you save until you are desperate. The ones in question were pretty much crotchless! So not only did i have a huge rip in my ass, it revealed probably the most tattiest pair of bangers i possess. Kate had to sit down from laughing so much and the other guy just sort of ran off screaming.

Jeez, when will this end? I like to make people laugh but maybe not when it comes to over exposing myself. Says the guy who once painted himself blue and danced naked on national TV. Thank god though that tape seems to have been lost for now. Well, unless my partner in crime Lewy still has a copy.

Anyway, we dropped off the old car and drove the new swish hire car down to Victoria, which is the provincial capital of British Columbia. Victoria is quite a big place considering everything else on Vancouver Island is pretty small. We got into town just as the Canadian Mens hockey team won gold against the Americans and the place was going crazy! People running around dressed in hockey uniforms, cars tooting their horns and just general anarchy! It was insane. I knew that Canada was passionate about ice hockey but DAMN! These guys were going nuts. It was the closest i have ever been to a riot. A joyful riot though. We wondered the streets just soaking in all the crazy canucks running around in red face paint.

Apart from all the commotion with the ice hockey fans, we just checked out the downtown area. Victoria has quite a lot of old historic buildings. Well, old by Canadian standards. The country isn't exactly what you would call old. It was pretty though. I guess any city would look pretty special with huge pine forests and snow capped mountains on the horizon. I was still a little peeved that i missed the Orca in Tofino so we decided to go on a whale watching trip. Victoria has the most consistent viewings of Orca in Canada, apparently. So we checked the weather and decided to go out for an afternoon trip. We checked in and put on our Mustangs. A Mustang is a PFD (personal flotation device) that you wear. Not like a life jacket, more like a life suit! It's like a cross between a wet suit and a one piece ski suit and makes you look a lot like a teletubby.

We also went on a zodiac which is a really fast dinghy style boat. We headed out of the harbour into open sea where our skipper really opened the taps! We were flying along on some of the calmest seas i have seen, yet we were still managing to air completely out of the water! I loved it. It was like jet boating on a more grander, more dangerous scale. Although we are here out of whale watching season, our skipper told us they had seen whales in the area just a few days before. It filled us with optimism but after a few hours of seeing just seals, sea lions and bald eagles we realised the chances of seeing any whales were waining. In fact the only thing i saw resembling a whale was a huge log! We saw plenty of logs and bits of wood floating past as this area is a huge logging area. I joked that they should call it wood watching instead. So, we were a little disappointed but it was still cool getting out on the open water and exploring the water ways around the area.

We left Vancouver Island yesterday and got the ferry over to Vancouver. I liked Vancouver Island a lot. It was very laid back and very organic looking. Just so lush and green. The big cities of Victoria and Nanaimo were quite industrial but Courtenay and especially Torfino were really quaint and pretty. I would love to go back in summer and really explore the woods and beaches.

Today we spent the morning at the Vancouver Aquarium at Stanley Park in the city. It was cool being back there and was one of the city highlights last time i was here. Mainly cos it was raining the whole time i was here and i appreciated an attraction that was dry but also cos of the super cool sea otters they have. They are the cutest animals. They are way bigger than you think too. We walked there from our hotel in the heart of the city in a popular vibrant area called Granville. It's a long bar lined street with some nice looking restaurants. One of which i hope to go fill my belly up in right now. Better go as Kate is starving! We're in the city until the weekend when we head off to the ski fields of Kamloops. Chat soon.

Peace

D

XXXX

Chaos with condiments

2010-02-27T17:00:00.000-08:00

I think I have finally completed another chapter of my book - How to embarrass yourself in public. This chapter is to be titled Chaos with condiments. Around 10 years ago i was in Toronto on the last day of a two week holiday. It was a glorious summers day so Kate and I decided to go to a quite posh restaurant down on the pier over looking Lake Ontario. I ordered a cheeseburger if memory serves and when it arrived at my table i reached for the ketchup and mustard. I squeezed the mustard but none came out. I squeezed harder but still no mustard. Thinking there must've been some kind of blockage i proceeded to give the mustard a squeeze of titanic proportion! There then followed a loud POP and my meal and my shirt where then covered in yellow goo. It turned out i needed to twist the top of the mustard bottle to open it before squeezing. Oops! The waitress found it hilarious as she brought over handfuls of napkins to help me clean myself up.

Now, you would've thought i would've learned a valuable lesson there and would now show all condiments the utmost respect. I don't know why, maybe it's just a Canadian thing but i managed to one up myself yesterday. We have made our way to the quiet little seaside hamlet of Tofino on the west coast of the island. The drive across the island was extremely scenic, especially since it was dumping snow up on the mountains and hills. When we got to town it was a little too early to check in to our hostel so we parked the car and walked down to the dock to hunt for somewhere to eat lunch. We found a cute little cafe overlooking the estuary and the small islands in the inlet and ordered our food. I ordered a philly style beef sandwich and got down to soaking in the amazing view. When my sandwich arrived i reached for the ketchup bottle and gave it a good old shake to loosen its thick contents, not realising the bottle lid wasn't done up. I managed to spray red sauce all over my face, hoodie and the floor. Kate wet herself when she saw what i had done. I feverishly grabbed my napkin and tried to clean up my mess. Kate eventually calmed down and i started to see the funny side of it. I had to really try and keep a straight face though when the waitress walked past our table and slipped on some ketchup. She recovered and gave me a funny look. I turned away and tried to focus on the view.

I don't quite know why i seem to be so unlucky when it comes to these sorts of things. At least i can see the funny side of it. Our meal was made even nicer because as we were getting ready to go the waitress informed us that a pod of killer whales had just been spotted heading this way. I excitedly jumped up and ran off to the car to get my camera as Kates feeble excuse for a camera doesn't really zoom in. I sprinted back up the hill, stopped at the top to stop myself from puking up my lunch but managed to grab my camera and make my way back to the sea front. I was greeted by Kates smiling face telling me i had missed them! I must have only been gone a few minutes but i guess the whales where in a hurry. Bugger! Typical eh? Oh well, there were only 4 orca so i wasn't too gutted.

So, before all the ketchup drama and the trip over to Tofino, we went skiing again up at Mt Washington. They had had nearly 15cm of snow the day before and it really made a difference. The snow was awesome! We skied most of the day before the low cloud made it really difficult. I even lost Kate on one run. She lost the trail and got stuck in deep snow. I waited ages for her but visibility made it impossible to see anything so i skied down and jumped back on the lift up to see if i could ski down to her. We managed to meet up back at the base building and all was well. I doubt i will ever ski in snow that deep. The base is still increasing and at last check was nearly 480cm!!

So we are here in Tofino now. Our hostel turned out to be closed for the season so we decided to get a room at a nice hotel down the road. It over looks MacKenzie beach and is only about 20 feet from the sand. On our way to Tofino we noticed loads of Tsunami evacuation route signs and on further research we found that this area averages around 1200 earthquakes a year!! That said, we enjoyed a nice stroll along the beach at sunset and examined the rock pools. Imagine how we felt this morning after we heard there was an earthquake in Chile and that the pacific rim was on Tsunami alert! Perfect! Our beach got closed and we were warned by our reception to stay off the beach this afternoon. Apparently we were going to be hit by half a metres waves. However, just like the tsunami warning that was issued after the NZ earthquake we experienced, the waves were tiny and of no concern. Still, pretty cool.

We are only here until the morning before i have to drop the car back in Nanaimo. Good riddance and all! Not only has the ABS broken but the indicators decided to stop working too the other day. We get the bus down to Victoria where we stay for a couple of days before heading back to the mainland. I'll be sad to leave as it is so beautiful here on Vancouver Island. The forests are so green and lush. Moss and lichen seem to cover everything and give it an even more organic feel.

Anyway, better go. It's my turn to wave watch. Kate is worried we'll get washed away but i'm sure we'll be just fine. Hell, if we do get washed away, at least i might get a chance to see some bloody killer whales!

Peace

D

XXXX

O Canada

2010-02-23T14:46:00.000-08:00

Since my last blog i have changed countries and travelled a further 1040 miles to add to my ever increasing total for this past year and a bit. I am up in Vancouver Island in a little town called Courtenay. This part of the world is in the spotlight at the moment as the winter Olympics are not too far away. The trip here was pleasant and included a few stop overs. We first stopped in a small town in Oregon called Canyonville. Oregon was stunning! As we entered the state from California we were greeted by Mt Shasta and the surrounding national park. Very scenic with lots of pine trees over shadowed by the tall snow capped mountain. We only stayed in Canyonville to break up the drive and the scenery following our stay there was not nearly as dramatic. When we got to Seattle though we were greeted by some amazingly unseasonal weather, warm and sunny. It certainly improved my experience of Seattle from last time where it seemed such a grey drizzly place. I could totally see why Kurt Cobain killed himself. I thought he probably did it more because of the bad weather and not the pressures of following up one of the biggest selling albums of that era. This time Seattle only seemed to throw off positive vibes and i was able to appreciate the beauty of the surrounding area. We did the usual touristy stuff and went up the space needle and checked out Pike Place Market. The Space needle seems so dated now and isn't even the tallest building in Seattle anymore but it is a must see and on such a clear day it allowed us amazing views out over the bay and to the Olympic mountains in the distance. Pike Place market was buzzing with the weekend hustle bustle and our noses were filled with scents of freshly baked produce and flowers. Last time i was there i was most taken aback by the cheap flowers you can buy there. This time, although they seemed a wee bit more expensive i was blown away by the sheer beauty of the arrangements. We wandered around the market and dined on Polish pastries. I declined to spit on the window of the original Starbucks coffee shop this time though, global corporation conglomerate thieving shit-on-the-little-guy bastards that they are!

I must say that i had been a bit sceptical about going back to Seattle but I'm really glad i did as it was refreshing to see it in a new light, sunlight. We gave our car back, reluctantly. It was a pontiac Vibe and was easily the most European car i have driven here. It was super fast too with oodles of torque (puts Jeremy Clarkson voice on) and was easier to park than the usual American cars which are similar to parking the QE2, whilst blindfolded. We had to take the bus from Seattle to Nanaimo on Vancouver island as it was way cheaper and included the ferry crossing. We got to the bus station and prepared to pay all the excess baggage they charge for ski bags but the dude there said they don't charge to go to Canada. Sweet! We waited in the bus station with the usual dregs of American society with people begging, swearing loudly and the constant stench of marijuana. The bus pulled up and we all bundled on. Our fellow passengers looked surprisingly normal except for one guy who just would not shut up. He was so loud and talked to everyone. I must have heard him tell people he was meeting a friend in Vancouver to go check out the Olympics about 40 times. I couldn't help but laugh when he got stopped at border patrol and turned back. Our bus driver said she knew he was going to be trouble and thought he wouldn't get in. Wow, it seems Canada is like a posh nightclub.

We stopped in Vancouver and watched the hundreds of people walking around with painted faces and draped in Canadian flags. The Candian mens hockey team were playing the USA team so the town was buzzing. I only left the bus station to go to an ATM and was swamped by the masses of people on there way to the hockey game. I made it back safely and we only had a short wait to get our bus. The trip over to Vancouver Island was beautiful as the weather was perfect. The sea was dead calm and the sun was shining. We docked and jumped on the bus for the short trip to the bus depot. I then had only 15 minutes to go and get our hire car. I managed to find the place and pick up the car. We have hired from a place called "rent a wreck" and when i was shown to the car i could see they weren't lying. I looked over the oldsmobile piece of shit and laughed to myself. Oh well. I picked Kate up from the bus station and her face when she saw the car was one of total disdain. We loaded up the car and made it only 5 miles out of town before the ABS light and traction control fault lights came on. I contemplated driving it back but knew they were closing as i picked up the car so decided to carry on regardless. We drove the short, in comparison to previous drives, 120 kilometres to Courtenay. I have no idea what the town looks like as it has been smothered in fog for the last few days. I know the weather in these parts can be a tad extreme but it would be nice to actually see where we are staying.

The main reason we are staying in Courtenay though is because of it's close proximity to Mt Washington. At the moment it has the deepest snow in the world with a 465cm base. To put that into some sort of perspective, Coronet Peak had one of it's best seasons ever and had a base of around 160cm! So, as the town was still covered in fog yesterday we decided to literally rise above at and go skiing. Good decision as the mountain was enjoying a total bluebird day. It took us a while to finally get our lift passes due to some bad sign posts but we finally got on the snow. I was expecting it to be epic but it was surprisingly tame. It had been sunny there for the last few days which had caused a bit of a thaw. The base had lost 5 cms but it was quite wet clumpy snow. It took us a few runs to get used to it but after a few runs we were flying around as usual. I shit myself on one run. I was skiing down past some less experienced skiers on quite a steep run. They stopped at the top of a big ledge, discussing just how big and scary it looked no doubt. I decided to show off and just gunned it off of the ledge. I easily flew around 20 feet, landed on the steep and shot off at break neck speed. I papped myself but managed to stop and maintain some grace. I took the time to wait for Kate and to check my pants just in case though.

We are also doing the hostel thing while we are here. Our hostel is pretty cool and we have our own room in a large 2 bedroom flat. We have our own living room and kitchen. We have a flat mate too but as yet we haven't met him. He seems to go out early in the morning and not get back in til really late. The walls are wafer thin and I'm sure my head is no more than 2 foot from the microwave on the over side of the kitchen wall. If i get a brain tumor, I'm gonna be so annoyed!

Today the fog has cleared and been replaced with rain. We were thinking of more skiing but it'll be puking up there so we decided to go check out a few beaches. As you do when it's pissing down. We stopped at both Seal Bay and Miracle beach and enjoyed a stroll through the forest. Vancouver Island is basically covered in forest and it feels like being on Endor, minus the Ewoks of course. It is beautiful here and it is a shame it is so wet and miserable. Still, when you come to a place at the end of winter, what else do you expect?

So i imagine we'll hit the slopes again a few more times before we head over to Tofino on the west coast. It's a place known for it's wildlife and whale watching but i think we are here too early in the season for that. We shall see. Right, the Olympics are on TV so I'm gonna enjoy them.

Peace

D

XXXX

Leave my heart? Maybe not.

2010-02-17T21:01:00.000-08:00

Now i know that San Francisco has a thriving gay community but I'm pretty sure there weren't this many gay dudes last time i was here. My mum reckons it has something to do with it being Mardi Gras but maybe my gaydar has just improved since my last visit to fog city. I have absolutely nothing against gay men and have worked with and been around them for years but i have to laugh at the amount of guy liner that seems to be the norm these days. Man, these dudes must spend so much on make up and products. I could never be gay. Not just because of all the bum love but I'm pretty sure i couldn't afford it!

San Francisco seems so different this time. Way more congestion can be attributed to the fact that it has been a holiday weekend here but all i seem to hear is sirens. At least 4 or 5 a day. Also, we are seeing exactly why San Fran is known as Fog City. Last time i was here, it was never mentioned and i certainly didn't see any. This time however, every morning the city and bay area has been shrouded in pea soup. It's a strange phenomenon and it's so weird to see areas of the city in brilliant sunshine but not even able to see other parts due to the fog. The fog rolls in and out frequently throughout the day which really adjusts the temperature too. It makes deciding what to wear for the day a hassle as one minute you are sweltering and then freezing the next. Today was different however with some rather unseasonably warm (over 70 degrees) weather.

I have explored the city much more this trip. Last time i was here it was over Labour day weekend and there was a huge celebration and air show which obviously attracted a lot of tourists and made travel in the city a nightmare. Although i haven't walked nearly as far as i did last time we have been on the cable cars and got an open top bus tour ticket which covered 5 districts of the city, including Marin county which is north of the Golden Gate Bridge. It gave us a lot of freedom as the ticket was for 48 hours and the buses were pretty frequent. We did the usual city stuff, checked out china town, saw Lombard street (the zig zag street), went to fishermans wharf, saw the presidio and of course, checked out the Golden Gate bridge. Driving across the bridge was pretty amazing. It was also amazing just how different the landscape was across the bridge in Marin county. Much more greener with lots of sheer tall cliffs. Sausalito, which is a town we visited, was beautiful with lots of gorgeous houses overlooking the bay.

Other differences i have noticed include a health surcharge on unhealthy foods. I know that makes sense but since all i seem to eat at the moment is lard, it works out as pretty pricey. We noticed it after our trip to the cheesecake factory the other day. I picked out a slice of white chocolate caramel macadamia nut cheesecake which had an absurd 1243 calories! It meant that the whole cake would've been 20,000 calories! That's enough for 10 days. I guess when you make foods that have so much calories and trans fats in you need a health surcharge eh?

Today we went to the rock, Alcatraz. Now before i went all i really knew about Alcatraz was that it means pelican in Spanish and that the only people to have escaped from it were hollywood legends Sean Connery and Clint Eastwood. It was a daunting place made even worse by the sheer decrepid-ness of it. Parts of it have felt the full force of some harsh weather and are beyond repair. We did the audio tour through the cell block which was narrated by former guards and inmates. It was very intimidating being in the cells. I can't imagine how people survived not just the confinement, but all the violence and the constant threat of anal rape. Still, it seems downtown San Fran is no different these days!? In fact being on Alcatraz was probably the least likeliest place i was gonna be bum raped. That said, i was no way risking picking up any dropped soap in the shower block. I was also amazed they didn't have a starbucks or a Walgreens pharmacy on the island as the city has around 240 of them combined! Seems San Franciscans need a lot of coffee and drugs and don't like to walk more than 25 feet to obtain them.

We leave San Fran in the morning. The last time i was here i feel in love with the place but this time i don't feel as affectionate. Yes it is a truly unique and picturesque place with such a vibe and personality but although i have seen more of the city this time, it just feels unsafe. We have been through the Tenderloin area of the city which shows its sordid underbelly. Long lines for soup kitchens, pan handling and drug rehab. I know every city in America probably has this but i have never seen it before and it just made me feel uneasy. Just 8 blocks separate the poor from people shopping at Gucci and Burberry. It just doesn't sit well with me. Don't get me wrong San Fran is still one of my most favourite places in America and i urge anyone who hasn't been to visit. I would certainly come back as there is still so much to see and do. Seems i won't be leaving my heart here this time as Tony Bennett suggests in song but who knows for the future.

So we head north in the morning. Watching the winter Olympics on TV is certainly wetting my appetite for more snow and skiing. Mmmm, i can't wait.

Peace

D

XXXX

Flowers in my hair?

2010-02-13T13:18:00.000-08:00

Hey hey, guess where i am. San Francisco. We have left the cold, clean city of Salt Lake and made our way west. Salt Lake City was awesome. It was such a small, neat little place. OK, so it was spread out over a huge valley but with a population of just 1 million, it seemed sometimes desolate. We went skiing a few more times to a resort called Brighton and then over to Park City to a resort called The Canyons. The Canyons is one of the biggest resorts in the US. It was almost too big for us though but i still managed to bump into a guy i worked with at Coronet! It was really bizarre seeing him again and i think we were both a bit shocked by it. He won the Coronet scholarship the season before last which meant he got a job at The Canyons last year, then worked again at Coronet before going back to The Canyons this season. I knew he'd be there but didn't expect to see him as it is a seriously huge resort. It was a nice place but the snow wasn't great. There was a really firm base under what little powder they had which made it a bit difficult at the top of the mountains. Brighton resort was insane though. By far the best resort i have been to. Loads of long, quiet tree runs and tons of snow. I don't know why but we both just fell in love with the place. Maybe it was just because it was truly beautiful. Even the little thin clifftop runs that Kate usually hates were pretty cool.

We left SLC in a blizzard. Typical as most of the ski resorts were in need of a fresh dump of powder, just as the day we leave. Oh well. We had a 8 and a half hour drive to Reno where we were staying the night just to break up the big drive to San Fran. Leaving SLC on highway 80 is similar to driving through a post apocalyptic war zone! Miles and miles of flat, smelly, boring salt flats. If it weren't for the mountains on the horizon i would have died of boredom and wrecked the car. The drive went surprisingly quick but i was so glad i had my ipod plugged into the car radio. American radio stations around Utah are not exactly atheist friendly. Every other station is about some dude called Jesus or his dad.

We made it to Reno by early afternoon. I don't think i was speeding much but managed to complete the 8 and a half hour trip in 6 and a half hours. First impressions of Reno were of a poor mans Vegas but with stunning snow capped mountains and hills overlooking what the locals call "The biggest little city in the world." We found our hotel, dumped our gear and headed down to the casino for some food. After the opulence and grandeur of Vegas, Reno is like a chav version. It is dripping in Elizabeth Duke compared to Vegas's Bulgari chic. The people in the casinos in Reno look like the holding pen of the Jeremy Kyle show! The waitresses in Reno looked like the fag smoking, heavy drinking mums of all the waitresses in Vegas. Not a fake titty in sight. The only thing about a poor mans version of Vegas was that it was cheaper to play poker but as it was a smaller low key place, they didn't have enough people to play a tournament. So we never got a poker fix. Shame as we were both really up for it, which usually means we do well. Poker can be a long, boring game and it is very easy to lose interest and concentration in it which means you get smashed pretty quickly. We have changed our plans a little so we might be able to get in a game before we get home. Instead of getting the bus up to Seattle we are gonna take a couple of days to drive it. We have planned to stop at a casino resort in Oregon which is on the way so hopefully will get in a game then.

We left Reno almost wishing we had planned a longer stay there. Certainly not for all the chavy casinos but because loads of ski resorts are just down the road at Lake Tahoe. The drive to San Fran was stunning. Almost as soon as you leave Reno you are in the mountains and the Tahoe national forest. The roads were quite sketchy and slick in places with snow and rain but the views across the mountains were pretty special. Lake Tahoe was gorgeous but by NZ standards it was almost ordinary. I guess living opposite Lake Wakatipu for 7 months has set the bar pretty high when it comes to lakes and mountain vistas.

So we arrived in San Fran yesterday and dropped off the car at the airport. Our hotel is in the heart of the city, in the hustle bustle of Union square. It is only a few doors away from the hotel i stayed at last time i was here. The weather is a lot warmer too. San Fran has a pretty steady climate all year long and it really varies between 50 and 70 degrees. We are here for nearly a week which gives us plenty of time to see the sights.

So we are here for Valentines day. I have out done myself on the romantic front for sure this year. The NBA all star game is on TV! Kate is a spoilt women eh? Bless her. She made me laugh this morning. Dirty dancing was on TV and Kate had never seen it. She booed her eyes out. I don't know why but i found that hilarious. I have never considered it a movie you would cry at. Maybe it was because Patrick Swayze is sadly no more.

Er, anyway we are off out to eat cheesecake at the Cheesecake factory overlooking Union Square in the sunshine.

Peace

D

XXXX

Utah Saints

2010-02-05T14:48:00.000-08:00

Hey dudes. Greetings from Salt Lake City. Home of the Mormon church and host of the 2002 Winter Olympics. Er, and that's about it. Yet i love it here. This place is about as far away from Vegas as you can get, on a moral compass that is. They are only 500 miles away from each other geographically but as home of the Mormon church it is a far cry from the carnage of Sin City. It seems such a laid back chilled out place and is uber clean. We are staying south of downtown SLC not far from highway 215 or the belt route as it is called (it runs from east to west in the shape of a large smile that looks like a belt, i guess). I am so relieved that we have a car here. Although we are no more than a 3 minute walk to our local tram into the city, SLC is spread out over a huge valley, enclosed by tall snow capped mountains. Our car, or T.I.L.T as we have named it, is a huge white Jeep and has allowed us to explore the local townships and even get to some outlet malls. We called our car TILT for 2 reasons. One, because it is a poker term but mostly because it stands for Tiny Incey Little Tank. Not because he is a bulky jeep that handles like a tank but because the fuel tank in it is measly. On our drive over from Vegas we had only covered 100 miles and used half a tank of petrol! We pulled into a garage to fill up. I feared we had a huge 5 litre gas guzzling machine which would cost us hundreds of bucks in petrol but when i filled it up it only took $20. Handy as we are gonna be covering a lot of Terra firma in the next few weeks. I had forgotten just how much i love driving over here. Yes, it takes some people some time to get used to driving on the other side of the road but i seem to slot into it no problem. It helps as well that most American cars are just like driving huge golf carts. No clutch, no changing gears and very un-aerodynamic.

So, we were supposed to go to a skier only resort the other day called Alta. It is consistently ranked one of the top resorts in America so i was super excited about going. However, we never made it. Kate hurt her foot in Vegas and it has not got any better. Well, it has improved a little but she didn't want to risk hurting it more and ruining the rest of the trip. So we rested it a day and checked out the local area and did some shopping. The next day we decided to test her foot on some skis. We also decided to go to a smaller, quieter resort called Solitude. Again, another highly ranked resort. It was amazing! The snow was awesome. Fresh, dry, grippy and most importantly, lots of it. We skied a lot of easier runs to ease ourselves back into it before hitting a lot more steeper and more challenging slopes. We also ventured over to the little terrain park which consisted of a small jump, a bigger jump, a rail and a box. Not quite The remarkables but good for us. Kate even hit the little jump. Well, she rode over it but i was super amazed that she jibbed the box! I couldn't believe it. I told her that it was easy but thought she'd bottle it. She hit it with way too much speed, aired onto it, then aired off. She was well pleased with herself and hit it a few more times throughout the day. She'll probably turn into a right little park rat now. I'm very proud of her and forget sometimes that she is still a beginner.

We rode solidly for about 4 hours before calling it a day, not wanting to push it too much. We're not as flexible or as fit as we once were. We spent the next day nursing a few aches and strains but managed to get in some shopping. I decided i needed a change so treated myself to some new ski gear. Although the Dollar is not as weak as it once was against the pound, stores here are already selling this seasons stuff off cheap. The ski season doesn't finish for a few more months but there are end of season sales everywhere. I basically got a new jacket and new ski pants for around $150 cheaper than it should've been. Kate treated herself to a new beannie and touched about 37 pairs of ski pants she wanted but didn't buy, naturally. She took a spill at Solitude the other day and managed to slice her trousers with her newly sharpened edges. I had spent the previous afternoon tuning both our skis so they would run smooth. I imagine she will buy some new trousers eventually, especially since everywhere we will visit from now on will have a end of season sale.

I wanted to go skiing again today but Kate was still feeling rough so I decided to go on my own. I wanted to go to Alta but as the weather is a bit dodgy and it is a massive resort, i decided to go back to Solitude. It is our closest hill, and i knew my way around so wasn't going to be worried about getting lost in the bad weather. When i got there the weather cleared and i had an awesome day hitting the more advanced slopes i can't do with Kate and hitting the jumps in the park. It felt so good to be out there at the top of the world, just me and my music. Very relaxing but quite energetic all at once.

Hopefully Kate will feel up to some skiing tomorrow and i won't be too achy from all my exploits today. We haven't been converted to Mormons yet either. I'm keen to be fair but only because of the polygamy. I don't think I'd like all the church stuff. Plus the Mormons we met when we were in the city centre were super nice. Almost too nice for me, almost sinister. Their church was pretty impressive though and we got to see where the Tabernacle choir perform. I very much doubt i will be converted though so don't panic. I reckon I'd be kicked out after a few weeks anyway.

Anyway dudes, i have to chill now and enjoy the bible channel.

Peace, and may God be with you. Nah, it just doesn't sound right coming from me.

D

XXXX

What happens in Vegas......

2010-02-01T14:52:00.001-08:00

So they say what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. If that's the case then this is gonna be one short blog. All i can say is that Vegas is INSANE!! The end

Peace

D

XXXX

Nah, just kidding. I did a little bit more than that. Our first night was pretty uneventful. We didn't finally get to our hotel til late so just went down for a few beers in one of the millions of bars our hotel had in it's huge casino. We also checked out a few games and how much the poker was to play. $60! Still, that's pretty cheap by LV standards. A lot of the other casinos in town are upwards off $100-400 to play. So after some rest and a day walking in the rain checking out the strip and dodging the thousands of touts trying to sell us tickets to shows, we headed back to our hotel to make use of the unlimited beer they serve for $20 between 4pm and 8pm, even better we got asked for ID! After 4 solid hours of drinking we decided to finally give the poker a try. I was amazed Kate went for it as is was obviously $120 for both of us, plus you have to factor in that Kate hasn't really played for that amount of cash. I think you have to be way more careful or "tighter" as we say in poker terms and Kate can be a little loose at times. My concerns were fair because Kate got knocked out pretty quickly. $60 down the toilet but i looked up and Kate was back at the table! In her drunken state she had decided to re-buy in for another $60! If i had even suggested doing that myself she'd have extracted my testicles from me via my anus and slung them under a bus! I didn't let it affect me though as she suddenly started playing much better and knocking people out. I finished 4th which i was pleased with but Kate went on a run of cards and flops i have never seen. She was hitting impossible outs and ended up knocking out a guy to get to heads up. The other guy she was playing offered to split the first and second place between them and i sighed in relief when Kate agreed. There was no way that luck of hers could continue. So in the end it was all good as she pocketed around $300.

After much high fives and both of us super happy, i recommended we hit the hay and call it a night. Kate wanted to celebrate though and refused to go to bed before having a cocktail. I didn't want to ruin her moment so we had a few more drinks and Kate polished off a couple of long island ice teas (her favourite cocktail). I felt surprisingly sober and got chatting to another English guy who had played poker with us and he convinced me to play again in the midnight tournament. Kate said she was gonna go to bed so i said i was gonna play poker. Kate then had a change of heart and wanted to play as well. Not good as by this time she was struggling to stand, let alone play poker in a casino in Vegas. I tried to get her to bed but she refused.

We sat down to play and paid our $120 entrance fees. Kate got knocked out again pretty quick but i played really well. Kate said she wanted to go to bed but i was kicking arse and was the chip leader. She then said she had lost her hotel room key so i had to take her. I asked her to wait until there was a break in the tournament. She sat by some slot machines but kept calling me on my mobile and texting me. I went over to her and told her to wait 7 minutes until the break.

When the break came she was nowhere to be found. I had 5 minutes to find her and get her to bed. I rang her and she said she was on our floor. I sprinted to the lift got upstairs and found her wandering around the corridor. I grabbed her, opened the room and finally got her to bed. I then ran back downstairs and made it to the table just in time. I continued my good play and was the chip leader when i got to heads up against this scary looking tattooed dude. I offered to split the money with him but he wanted to flip a coin. I was a bit pissed off with him as i wanted to make sure Kate was OK, plus it was now 3am. We flipped a coin and it came up that we would keep playing. I went super tilt and pushed all in on the next hand with pretty mediocre cards. The other guy called and beat me. It left me with not a lot of chips and it wasn't long before i was beat. 2nd place won me $200 which i was pretty damn happy about. I went up to bed, put my room key in but nothing happened. I was locked out!

I banged on the door for 20 minutes but couldn't wake up Kate. I went to reception and told them what was happening but the stupid arsehole women on reception told me that because the deadbolt was on the door i couldn't get in. I went back upstairs again to try and wake up Kate. After another 20 minutes of banging on our door, and waking up other people, that i had to apologise to, i gave up. I went back down to the casino fuming! I didn't know what to do. Should i just rent another room? Should i just wait in the casino til Kate woke up? NO, i decided i was going to go to a strip club!

I jumped in a taxi outside the hotel and headed to Spearmint Rhino. After a few more beers and a lap dance from a women with the biggest boobs in the place, i left $150 lighter in the wallet! It was now about 5.30am so i headed back to the hotel. I was pretty drunk by now but still didn't know what to do. As i walked to my hotel i noticed some stairs in the car park across the road. I strolled over and sat down to rest under the steps. Next thing i know i was being woken up by 2 security guards! I must have dozed off. I explained to them what had happened, that i was locked out of my room and that the lady in reception told me i was screwed. They walked me back to the hotel and told me they could get me into my room. Apparently the women on reception was wrong and they had a special key to get into any room. They said she would be fired for telling me that and making me sleep rough. I had to point her out but didn't feel in the least bit guilty. If she had just called security i would be in bed already and still with my poker winnings. Yes, i know i didn't have to go to a strip club, i don't really even like strippers! I hate the falseness of them. They will try anything just to get money out of you but i didn't know what to do and was very mad with Kate.

I finally got into my room at 6am. Kate woke up straight away which pissed me off even more as i had been trying to wake her up all frickin night! She insisted she didn't mean to put the deadbolt on the door but who knows in her drunken state. What a polarva!!

By the time i woke up i had calmed down a lot and started seeing the funny side of it all. Amazingly, even though we spent $500 that night, because we had done so well at poker, we broke even! Not bad really and to be fair, it was probably just another night in Vegas.

So after that night we calmed down big time and actually got out about and checked out the strip more. The weather suddenly became awesome, sunny but still fairly mild. I don't think there is anything in the world to prepare you for the sheer size and opulence of Las Vegas. Everything there is enormous. Some of the hotels are just a stunning combination of size and attention to detail. I have to say that Cesar's Palace was the most spectacular but it is a close call between that, The Venetian and The Bellagio. We had a nose around all the biggies and was blown away by all the marble and features.

Eating in Vegas is just as extravagant as the huge hotels. America is known for it's large portions but in Vegas, it is just ridiculous! All you can eat buffets seem to be the norm and it is so easy to see why there is a scary obesity problem here. That said, you haven't seen obesity until you get to a Vegas buffet. There is fat and then there is Vegas buffet fat. These people were huge! Rolling around the place, their love handles over hanging their mobility scooters with plates full of fried chicken and prime rib. Really really messed up! It isn't just the buffets either. The Nascar cafe near us sold a 6lb burrito! That's like eating a baby! If you ate it in 90 minutes or less, it was free. Crazy!

Another thing i got super excited about was when i saw a sign offering $1 BJ's! I got very excited until i realised it meant $1 black jack. Damn it! Although, apart from all the hotties that work in the numerous strip clubs Vegas seems to be the home of the B.O.B.F.O.C (body off baywatch, face off crimewatch!). Loads of gorgeous bodies topped off with old haggard swamp donkey faces. Think Amy Winehouse but with bigger boobs and more wrinkles.

Vegas was certainly a 24 hour party town with the option to get into a lot of expensive trouble. People stroll the strip with huge yard long cocktails strapped to them shaped like towers, skyscrapers or guitars, at like 10 am. People stand on street corners handing out thousands of prostitute call cards (prostitution is illegal within the city limits but legal in the state of Nevada). And of course there are casinos everywhere. I half expected to go for a piss in a toilet and find a slot machine above the urinal. Vegas could really be an amazing place. In some areas it is clean and super modern but in others you have to wade through thousands of hooker call cards all littered on the floor. It does exactly what it offers and Sin city is such an apt name. It certainly isn't what i would call a family place yet i saw children everywhere. The strip is like being immersed in a huge adult orientated theme park but i liked it. Although sex and gambling seems to be thrust into your face everywhere you go, you can avoid it, if you try really hard.

We left LV blown away by the size of the place. We decided to hire a car after all and have now made the short 6 hour drive to Salt Lake city in Utah. The drive over was uneventful and the scenery was stunning. Miles and miles of nothing at one point then a stunning red rock gorge cut through the mountains. Salt Lake city should be a lot quieter, especially since it is home to the Moomins. remember those little white hippos from back in the day? Well, apparently 80% of Utah are little white hippos but i haven't seen any yet. Kate thinks I'm confused. She keeps telling me it is home of the Morons! We'll just have to see.

The great thing about SLC so far is the scenery. We are high up in the mountains and there is snow everywhere. Sweet. I can't wait to get up into them and ski my arse off. We're off to Alta tomorrow to see how we get on. Kate has hurt her foot so we will see how we do.

So, if sex, gambling and excess is your thing, then Vegas is for you. My cousin is planning her 30th birthday there. I want to go but fear for my wallet. Gulp. That's still over a year away so i think i'll just focus on my current travels. I'll keep you posted Y'all.

Peace

D

XXXX

Viva Las Vegas

2010-01-29T08:01:00.000-08:00

I had forgotten just how crazy the US and A actually is. In 11 months in NZ I think I saw one crazy dude. It was on the first day we bought Biff. It was hammering down with rain but we decided to drive him to a local beach just to get a feel for him, and to double check he was waterproof. We sat overlooking this huge bay in the rain very happy with ourselves but after a while I needed a wee. I ran across the parking lot to the public toilets through the rain and barged my way into the mens loo, only to be greeted by some crazy Maori dude wiping his butt! I about turned and got the hell out of there but the crazy dude started shouting at me. I swiftly hid/used the ladies toilet next door but while washing my hands I could still hear the loon in the mens shouting and crashing about. I ran back to Biff but it was a good 10 minutes before the nutcase emerged and staggered off through the rain. Seriously though we never saw one other loony for the whole time we were there. America, however, is a lot different from NZ.

Here it is literally packed to the rafters with the mentally unstable! (see what happens when you don’t have an NHS?) We have already seen a bum fight, which I of course found hilarious. We got the bus to Ocean beach to check out what this side of the pacific looks like and had a wander along the cliff tops and past the shops. There were tramps everywhere! I have been to America enough to know they have a huge homeless problem over here but in that short stretch of beach it was like tramp-opolis! We kept ourselves to ourselves, dodged the vast clouds of marijuana smoke and got through it as quick as we could. I couldn’t help but stare though at these two hobo’s going at each other over a reportedly stolen 5 dollars. It was a bit one sided to be fair with the smaller tramp kicking the larger younger tramps arse before the cops pulled up and broke it up. You can totally see how bum fighting became an internet phenomenon a few years back. But I guess this is par for the course when you ride the bus over here. I’ll tell you more about that in a bit.

We have left San Diego now and I am writing this from my hotel room in "The Meadows" or Las Vegas as us non Spanish speakers know it. We pretty much scoped out the whole of San Diego before we left though. Well, we did as much as we could do in the short time we were there. We went to the gas lamp district again and gave it a more thorough inspection, hit up Seaport village and Balboa park and also checked out the world famous San Diego Zoo. I only wanted to go and see Marcel the monkey who used to be Ross’s pet in friends, but after of hours roaming around the monkey section, he was no where to be seen. I was actually a little disappointed with the zoo. Don’t get me wrong, you will have to go a long way to see such a diverse collection of animals in one place but there was just something a bit too cramped about it all. It is spread over a huge expanse of land yet the animal enclosures just felt too small for the animals in them. I felt sorry for the animals, as I do in most zoos, but more so for them not being able to stretch out. The bears for example were in these tiny enclosures, even the pandas. I think I noticed it more because only a few weeks ago we were at Auckland zoo were I was impressed with just how big the animal enclosures were. They didn’t cram in too many animals either. At San Diego they had about 10 yakins (buffalo like animals from China) in a space about as big as my old back garden. These were big animals too. I just felt sad for them. For all the animals really. I know zoos do a lot of breeding programs and have brought some species back from the brink of extinction but I just feel that that work should be done away from their exploitation. OK, save the California condor but don’t charge me $35 to watch you do it. I know that without zoos people wouldn’t be able to see such exotic and endangered animals but it just doesn’t sit right with me. Kate didn’t think much of it either but only because they didn’t have penguins!

The weather turned for the worse again the day we left. The storms had passed and for a while we had some sun but yesterday it all went to shit again. Not a problem really as we spent the day in transit. I hadn’t really considered just how much of a problem it is dragging so much gear around. We left our hotel and walked the relatively short 20 minute walk to the Old Town transit centre but when you are lugging nearly 100 lbs of gear it suddenly becomes a nightmare. Kate had to keep stopping because her elbow (?!) was killing her whereas my hands and shoulders felt strained. We got our bus and struggled on with our big cases and ski bags before the usual comments of "What’s in the bag?" or "You going skiing?" from the bus crazies. We caught the greyhound bus which zoomed us away from San Diego north to San Bernadino. Or maybe that should be called San Murder-dino! What a fucking shit hole. We got dropped at the bus terminal in the outskirts of town where we had a supposed 50 minute layover. I headed out of the terminal to check the surrounding neighbourhood for places to eat but I only got to the corner of the block before fearing for my life and going back to what I thought, was the safety of the terminal. It was rough out there. Derelict buildings, graffiti and dodgy looking characters everywhere. I was back at the terminal maybe 5 minutes though before a fight broke out in the mens bathroom. Well, some dude tried to mug some guy. We were sitting chatting when we heard all this shouting and saw two men come crashing out of the mens onto the floor. Some dude was on top of another pounding the crap out of him. I jumped up, much to Kates dismay who thought I was going to go break it up, and went and grabbed the security guard who I had seen outside when I returned to the terminal. He rushed in and tried to grab the mugger but he just smiled this evil ass smile and sprinted out through a door. He chased him but came back 10 minutes later empty handed. The police arrived a few minutes later and gave us all "scum of the earth looks" before taking the muggee for questioning and to identify a guy matching the muggers description that had been picked up a few blocks away. All pretty frickin scary stuff. I just hope they caught the guy. What a dick! I know they say how some people do these things out of sheer desperation but come on, a bus terminal? Had this guy not seen the dregs who ride the bus? Your not exactly gonna bump into Donald Trump are you? The dude who got mugged can’t have had more than ten bucks and lint in his pockets. I had told Kate about the types that travel on the bus here but it was a real eye opener for both of us. We both looked at each other and said "Hire car?"

The rest of the journey went smoothly though and the guy on the bus next to me said it was a California thing and not to expect the rest of the states to be like that. We chatted for a while about travelling and it was quite refreshing to meet an American who had seen the world. You hear so many tales of the huge percentage of yanks who don’t own passports or that so many people die within 20 miles of where they were born but this guy had seen it all. He had been in the navy as a youngster but when he got out he just kept on going. He’d lived in the UK and in Asia but hadn’t been to NZ. He was on his way home to Boston as he had had his work van and all his tools stolen in Santa Barbara (another California thing apparently). He was gonna be on that bus from Tuesday morning until Friday morning! Screw that! The air fare was only $100 more!

We got in to LV late last night as our bus got a bit delayed in all the rain and trouble in San Murder-dino. Again, the trip from the bus terminal to our hotel was fun with all our gear and of course filled with nutters. Some tramp at the bus stop gave us the third degree and another rough women entertained us on the bus with her speech about god. We dumped our gear in the room then headed for a much needed beer in the casino downstairs. Man this place must have a huge lekky bill! Every hotel is strewn with lights and neon and it’s all 24 hours. I’m looking forward to checking out sin city though and maybe even playing a bit of poker. Well, I already won at video poker. We were walking back to the room last night and I couldn’t resist sticking in a dollar. Played one hand, won 8 bucks. Hopefully a sign of things to come. Yeah right, my next blog entry will be hand written on a napkin because I lost the lap top in a game of craps!

Anyway, I will let you know. I’m off to look at hire car prices.

Peace

D

XXXX

A Whales vagina?

2010-01-22T19:34:00.000-08:00

'Sup Y'all? Howdy from southern California. Finally made it here after our 21 hour adventure. Well, adventure is a gross understatement, HELL is more of an accurate analogy. Getting all our luggage and skis here was about as much fun as having your pubic hair tweezered out whilst squatting over a BBQ whilst sausages are spitting scorching hot fat onto you! What a hassle! I suppose it wasn't too bad as we only had to repack our bags and suitcases 4 times! We arrived in LA to some of the worst weather they have had in years. In some places in California they have had over 20 inches of rain this week! We got drenched on the short 50 yard walk to the station from the bus but luckily by the time we eventually arrived in San Diego, it had stopped. Now for those of you not familiar with the awesome movie 'Anchorman' which is set in San Diego, Will Ferrell explains that San Diego is in fact German and means "A whales vagina." The train journey was awesome as we had gorgeous windswept beaches on one side and awesome clifftop houses on the other. Shame that all the rain had flooded the tracks so the train couldn't go faster than 10 miles per hour at times. We got to our hotel near Old Town and collapsed. It was an exhausting day and i ache like a bee-atch today. Luckily i bought a roll on pain killer today which has been amazing.

The rain continued at times today with some more hail and cold winds. I hadn't expected it to be 10 degrees either! It's flippin freezing! I hadn't expected to feel this cold until we got to Utah but apparently Las Vegas is colder than here! Good thing we have all our winter gear with us. Today we checked out Old Town with all it's pioneer type buildings and old memorabilia from the gold rush days. I knew it was going to be very Mexican here and it doesn't disappoint. I even tucked away a huge chicken burrito for lunch. Kate also had a steak and bean burrito which i assumed was one of the harbingers of the Apocalypse as it will make her farts truly evil - watch out for reports of people mysteriously dying in California on the news. After Old Town we headed downtown and checked out the GasLamp Quarter. It was awesome. So clean and a great mix of old and modern buildings. It used to be the red light district but has been revamped to be a very trendy boutique styled area of the city. We walked miles today which we will have to do to try and counteract the huge amount of calories in the food here. It seems everything is bigger than i remember. I saw a blueberry muffin yesterday which was as big as my head! We are considering doing Atkins while we are here as it's an easy diet to do and a lot of restaurants here cater for it. We shall see as i am quite partial to pancakes. Kate devised a "rhyme diet" today where you only eat foods that rhyme but i can't imagine losing weight on Steak, pancakes, pasta bake and cheesecake! We'll just have to be careful. I intend to run as well while i am here but not til my body clock adjusts, and this weather gets better.

So, we plan to go to the Big Bay whale day tomorrow. It celebrates the annual migration of the Grey Whales along the pacific coasts twice a year. They have lots of whale related paraphernalia and discounted whale watching trips. If the weather is nice that is. We also have San Diego zoo to go to and maybe Seaworld before heading off to Vegas next week.

We of course will let you know more when we have a bit more time and when we are sure that we are not stealing WiFi from our hotel next door, ahem. Better go.

Peace

D

XXXX

Sleepless in Seattle? No, Biff-less in Auckland.

2010-01-18T13:49:00.000-08:00

So, yesterday was a good day. We finally sold Biff, got upgraded at our hotel and Kate won 2 free bottles of cider! We are Biff-less. Talk about down to the wire eh? We leave NZ in only 2 days. We took Biff to the car fair again at Ellerslie race course on Sunday. We dropped his price as although we got a fair bit of interest the previous week, I was starting to think we wouldn’t ever sell him and would have to drive him up to Whangarei and leave him with Danny and Catherine, which would have been hassle for all of us. This week we got tons of interest, like last week but people seemed to be talking money more. We handed out numbers and exchanged email addresses with people but it was an old boy who showed most interest. He was there selling a 1999 silver Lexus gs400 for $7500! Bargain. He came over and gave Biff a good once over and left me his number. Although we got a lot of interest I called him yesterday morning and told him Biff was still for sale. We drove over to him and he test drove him then offered to buy him. We then had a bit of a hectic morning booking an apartment in the city and unpacking Biff before dropping him off with the old boy. We then got the train back into the city. He offered to drive us in but by this time it was nearly rush hour.

So Biff is gone and I am sad. I have chatted with Kate at how much we will miss him and how, apart from BUPO (my first car – a faded red/orange 1985 Austin Metro) I have never connected and personalised a vehicle so much. Not personalised as in sticking on my own type of wheels or novelty dashboard ornament, but given it a personality. Old vehicles seem to have character though don’t they? I mean we talked to Biff as if he was a friend or a pet. He responded too. He was so much more than just a fancy van with a bed and a kitchen in the back. He was our home and our transport for nearly a year. He was a member of the family and I will miss him. Apart from a few little act ups he was awesome but those little act ups, like wetting himself the first day we bought him or his alternator brushes needing changing in Gisborne were what gave him character. Considering he was 19 years old he could have pretty much fallen to pieces and broken down every 5 minutes but he never once even overheated. He had done over 350,000km! (260,000 miles!) In a country as small as NZ as well. He must have covered near enough every inch of it too. I often would drive over some random bridge in the middle of nowhere and wonder if Biff had already crossed it, or how many hundreds of times he crossed the Auckland harbour bridge? I hope we did show him some places he hadn’t been to before cos he sure as hell showed us some abso-frickin-lutely amazing sights. Getting a campervan seemed such a cliched thing to do here as just about everyone does it but it is an awesome way to see the country. It gives you such freedom but allows inaccessible areas or off the beaten track locations to become reachable. Although free camping is forbidden in places, you could if you want, find an out of the way place to kip for the night, as many people do. Biff made life for us so different from the usual hotel or tent based accommodations. He was comfortable, convenient and most importantly he was dry. No running through the rain to cook in the kitchen, or bang in tent pegs. He kept us warm in the cold and tried his hardest to make the muggy summer nights comfortable. He was just so much more than a van. We will miss you buddy.

We are now in a nice big apartment in the same place we stayed when we first got to NZ. We looked at staying at other hotels but really liked the independence of having an apartment so decided to stay here again. I tried to book a studio apartment online but the website kept crashing so I had to ring them direct. When I called the reservations department they said that there weren’t any studios available but as the website had said there was, we would get a free upgrade to a 1 bedroom place. Sweet! Except that when we checked in they had actually upgraded us to a 2 bedroom apartment! Super sweet! It’s bloody huge, even with all our gear in it.

Last night we painted the town, not quite red but more of a tame pink. My first drink since New Year but we had to send Biff off with a bevy. Kate was excited as she won this text competition to win 2 free bottles of cider. I wonder if I will ever get over her frugalness. When we were packing up Biff I was amazed at just how much of a needless hoarder she is. It just seems nothing is worth throwing away for her. Sigh.

So we have a few free days in Auckland now. Kate is contemplating jumping from the sky tower again or bungy jumping from the harbour bridge whereas I am once again looking at getting some ink done. I still have to do something with my guitar too as I can’t take it to the states with me. I think mostly we will just relax finally and let the prospect of the next leg of our journey sink in. I am super psyched about going to San Diego (It’s Spanish for a whales vagina don’t you know?) then onto Vegas, then Salt Lake city, then San Francisco, then Seattle, then Vancouver and all the delights of Canadian snow across the Rockies.

I have loved New Zealand. A country with such natural beauty and cultural heritage yet has only really been on the map for a brief sneeze of time. Queenstown will always have a place in my heart and i will always have fond memories of the friends I made there. When I got here I thought I would be bungy jumping off everything and sky diving and all that but I haven’t. Some people would see that as a bad thing but for me it just means I have left some things to do if I ever come back. For me it was more about exploring and feeling free, away from the stresses and strains of ‘normal’ life. I wanted to see the real NZ, to get off the well trodden track and go into the wilderness, which I have done. I have covered near enough all of this fair land. Man, I have seen more of NZ in 11 months than I have of the UK in 33 years! Something I may need to address when I get home. So many places to see and such little time.

So all that’s left to say really is goodbye from New Zealand. If anyone out there is wanting to see a truly amazing and stunningly beautiful yet diverse and cultural gifted place, then NZ has to be high on the list. It helps that most people here are only a few generations departed from being just like you. It is very British here but also with strong pacific influences. Not just from Maoris and other islanders but from Asia too. It is so relaxed and chilled out here which fit me so well. Yes it is a country with troubles but from a tourists point of view it is amazing and like no other country I have ever been to. It is as diverse as you get and the thing I like the most is that you can be on a tropical beach or in a rainforest or on a mountain top or hiking along a glacier or in a modern shopping mall all within 100 miles of each other (at the right time of year of course).

To everyone I have met here, be it in Qtown or on the road, thank you for helping make this past year so memorable. Safe travels to you all.

Right well, I’m off to the states. San Diego here I come. I will of course keep you posted.

Peace

XXXX

anyone wanna buy a camper?

2010-01-10T22:15:00.000-08:00

So, no luck with selling Biff yet. I kinda knew that we wouldn’t get much interest over the holidays. People distracted by beaches and presents don’t really think much about buying a clapped out old camper (We love you really Biff!) That said it has changed this week. We are starting to get a lot more interest in him but although we are expressing urgency to sell people seem to be chilled out about it. I guess they are in a strong position, surrounded by a market flooded with campervans and all the time in the world. We on the other hand would prefer to sell him pretty soon as we leave NZ in 10 days! We have had a few people come and see him, including a ex British family who loved him but wanted to keep looking. It would’ve suited them perfectly as Biff is huge and a small family would’ve found him quite adequate. We also got a call from a German couple who had just got off their flight and were keen to look at campers. They didn’t have a car so we drove over to them. They again, loved Biff but wanted to keep looking as he was the first van they had seen. I doubt they’ll buy him. Biff isn’t what I would call a backpackers van. A lot of backpackers, people who don’t mind slumming it or don’t have tons of money seem to go for the smaller older vans with a permanent bed in. We looked at that option but preferred to have a few creature comforts and a bit of space. I’m 6 foot 3 remember?

So I doubt ze Germans will want to but Biff. We have had a few texts and emails asking questions but no one else has arranged a viewing. We took him to the Ellerslie car fair yesterday. It’s a market for selling cars and vans. You just rock up, pay an administration cost and park up. They give you a for sale sign and provide a sellers information sheet and you sit and wait as hundreds of people wander around looking at all the motors. It was amazing and I’m surprised we don’t have something similar at home (maybe we do and I just don’t know about it). You get to see loads of different, well priced cars and vans all in one place. We got quite a bit of interest and gave our numbers out to a few people so we will just have to see if anything comes of it. We plan to go back next week, if we don’t sell him this week of course.

If we can’t sell him, Danny and Catherine have offered to take him until he sells which is a great relief as it means we will get a reasonable price for him instead of panic selling him for less than he is worth. Even if we sell him for what we paid for him we will make money as the exchange rate has plummeted to favour the NZ dollar. We are in a good position where we are not too dependant on the money from the sale for our further travels. Some people we met at the car fair were desperate to sell their cars or vans as they were relying on the money from the sale to keep travelling. For us, we would like the money before we leave just to tie up loose ends and so we don’t have to transfer money from back home which costs us.

We are still here in Auckland and although I have given it a bit of a slating at times, I am actually liking being here. I think it helps being out of the CBD (central business district or Downtown to the rest of us). We have been staying up in Northshore which was lovely and not too far from access into the city centre but our discount run out so we have moved to Avondale. It is the closest campsite to the centre of Auckland and easily one of the cheapest too. It has been a bit tricky planning to do things though with Biff on sale. We were driving out to the Waitekere ranges the other day when ze Germans called so we about turned and goose stepped our way to them instead. It was fine as I am gonna get my mountain fix in a few weeks anyway! Yeah baby, bring on the snow. I hear that the UK has had it’s worst winter in 30 years! Typical that the one person who would’ve been in heaven in all that snow (me) is thousands of miles away in tropical heat. Bloody nightmare. That said in a month or so I will be in Canada in –20 degrees so will probably be pining for the tropical heat again. Nah man, I am a winter person and can’t wait to feel the snow crunch under my north face boots again. It’s gonna be epic. North America is getting dumped on as well as the UK and Mt Washington on Vancouver Island, where we are going for Kates first experience of Canadian snow, already has over 250cm of snow! 2 and a half metres! I can’t wait.

My new years resolutions are going well too. I’ve been running pretty much every other night. Not for great distances as the heat is a problem but just to find my running legs again. Only 9 months until my triathlon though so have to get a move on. I have to beat my old time but am a little concerned that I won’t be able to swim or cycle until I get home in April. Should be plenty of time though to get my fitness up in those areas. I very much doubt I’ll be doing much running in Canada, unless they have gyms with running machines in our hotels, as it’ll be too cold and snowy but I’ll be skiing all the time which is good exercise for the legs. My diet has been awesome too. I think a combination of determination and reluctance to buy food as we are leaving soon has helped. The weight feels like it is falling off but without scales it is difficult to say how much. I feel slimmer already and my clothes are looser. Kate also said I looked slimmer the other day but it might have been due to the clever use of mirrors and lighting. I feel good though. I always do when I am losing weight or training, release of endorphins and all that I suppose.

The only negative (which I since turned into a positive) is work related. Looks like my job on the birth centre has gone so I have to work elsewhere in the hospital after all. Looks like labour ward is my only option. Not ideal as it is the hub of stress and strain but I reckon I can make it work. I have given myself an ultimatum though that if after a few months it isn’t working out I will look elsewhere for work. Maybe something outside of London, or even outside the UK. Who knows.

It’s amazing how life goes isn’t it? This time last week I felt snowed under with burden yet this week it has been refreshing and the feelings of dread have lifted as i have realised that no matter what happens, everything is going to be OK. I have looked back at the truly horrible things that have happened in my life and in comparison, those burdens were more like annoyances than actual problems. It’s true though eh? Sometimes we worry about stuff that in comparison to real problems, isn’t actually worth getting worked up about. In the words of the great John Mayer "When I find out what it REALLY is, I’ll worry about it. Don’t be scared about next Tuesday cos Tuesday hasn’t happened yet."

So keep your fingers crossed we sell the Biffatron 3000, as we sometimes call him, but if there is someone else who needs your thoughts or love, give it to them instead as we are actually OK. I will keep you updated.

Peace

D

XXXX

HAPPY NEW YEAR Y'ALL

2010-01-04T12:16:00.000-08:00

So first things first, HAPPY NEW YEAR! Holy shit, where the fuck did the last ten years go? I remember the millennium as if it was only 5 years ago, not ten. Blimey, nothing like a new year to make you feel old. For me, new years have always been a time of reflection. Well, to be honest, from my birthday in late November until that first week of the new year I am always reflective. Inwardly critiquing myself and the past year. It’s amazing how different I feel about myself and everything I do now then I did 10 years ago. So much has happened in that time. Ten years ago I was finishing my degree and embarking on a career path with all the enthusiasm of a man with the world at his feet. I had ideas of owning a home and maybe even starting a family.

This year my goals are so much different, in fact they are almost the reverse of my goals from that distant past. I love my job but at this moment in time the prospect of going back into the same chaotic work force is filling me with dread. I had to email my new boss this week and inform her that I am finishing my work break 3 months earlier than planned. It was hard to do. I mean there are all the stresses and strains of working but with an extra 3 months off and money in the bank, the urge to continue travelling is gnawing at my soul. To carry on this lifestyle would be a dream come true. Anyone who has spent a prolonged period travelling will relate to this. Yes, it sucks being away from loved ones but the freedom you experience and the amazing people you meet is something very hard to give up.

I am worried I will not be able to go back into the role I had before I left work. The NHS is a needy mistress and I may be required in other departments. I could do the work standing on my head whilst simultaneously cupping my balls, it’s not a problem. The problem arises from the stress these other departments inflict. I am known as a very amicable, easy going character at work and that’s mainly due to the fact I don’t get stressed. If I were say, to go back to labour ward I think I wouldn’t be so laid back. Who knows? I may well be worrying over nothing but the thought of looking elsewhere for work has creeped into the back of my mind just in case. I have always been a firm believer of doing a job you love. If I fall out of love with it for whatever reason, it’s going.

Hell, if it gets really bad at work I could always get a job in Tesco just until I get enough money together to hit the road again. Living in a van for the best part of a year has shown to me that I can survive on pretty much nothing. I have rotated the same 4 t shirts for the past 6 months! I have washed them of course but I have a wardrobe full of clothes I never wear. The salvation army have had some pretty nice donations from me already but what the hell do I need all these clothes for at the moment?

So we started the new year in Whakatane (pronounced Fuckatanay which always made me giggle – so immature). We left the Coromandel just after christmas. It was a really pretty part of the country. Especially Cathedral cove which is an amazing secluded beach. It’s called cathedral cove because of this huge natural arch which separates the 2 beaches there. It is pretty isolated and completely enclosed by high white cliffs. It has awesome pohutakowa trees growing over the beach providing shade and giving it a real tropical feel. It was about an hours walk to get to the beach though which Kate gave up on half way. She was sun burnt from the previous day, had no sun screen on and it was frickin scorching. That and she is so unfit! So I did the walk myself and found the 140 steps back up from the beach a bit of a struggle but it was well worth it. Got some pictures but they no way do it justice. I suggest googleing it.

We also went to hot water beach but as we had already dug ourselves a sandy hot tub back in Kawhia all those months ago, we just watched. It was way too hot for us on the beach so we headed for shade and the safety of Biff.

The drive to Whakatane was pretty cool and we even passed through a town called Katikati (pronounced Katie katie we assumed). It was definitely a town for Kate since it had massive traffic jams due to loads of people who couldn’t park! Just like Kate.

We spent the new year just outside Whakatane at Ohope beach. It was nice except it seemed everyone in New Zealand with a tent descended to our campsite. No lie, it looked like a shanty town! The christmas and new year break is a big deal over here. Half the country shuts down and, due to it being summer, heads to the beach. Whakatane is one of the sunniest places in NZ so was bound to attract plenty of sun worshipers. We on the other hand stayed out of the sun. Somehow though Kate managed to get burnt sitting in the shade of Biffs retractable awning! I swear I am married to a vampire sometimes. Meanwhile Kate sits opposite me smothered in aftersun with a bright red head!

We have since departed Whakatane and headed north back to Auckland. We will probably hang around here now for the duration of our stay which is only 3 more weeks! Jeez, that is depressing. No, we need to sell Biff and Auckland is probably the best place. We are outside the main city in Northshore. It’s a leafy suburb with some amazing Asian markets. We have fallen back in love with Japanese food again which is gonna help the ever expanding waistline and the annual new year resolution to loose more weight. That said I just crammed in 2 and a half steamed spicy lamb buns. Oh how I have missed steamed buns since we left Japan.

Being in Auckland has it’s benefits I guess. We got to watch Avatar again but in 3D this time which nearly blew my cock off! How good is that movie? Answer, pretty damn good! It is getting lots of attention here as it is heavily associated with New Zealand. They have the most amazing special effects company here. Just look at Lord of the rings, King Kong and of course Avatar for examples.

We have also been doing a few things we missed last time we were here like Kelly Taltons Aquarium. It was OK I suppose but had emperor penguins so we couldn’t not go. I got a bit sad actually watching a huge turtle flailing around in its tank. Not sure an animal as nomadic and migratory as a turtle should be in a tank, especially as they live for so long too.

So I am all over the place mentally at the moment. Gutted about leaving NZ but excited at the same time about our onward travels. Pensive over last year and determined to make this new year special. Apprehensive about going back to work but desperate to come home to see my family. And then there are the fireworks going off in my mind which is the excitement about my sisters wedding in October.

I hope you all had constructive 2009s. I am proud to say 2009 has been probably the best year of my life for so many reasons and yet I still have so much more to do. I guess I just need to focus on that at the moment and let all the other stuff sort itself out. Happy new year guys. Make the most of it.

Peace

XXXX

Ho ho ho Mo Fo's!

2009-12-29T14:53:00.000-08:00

So we have managed to finally get away from Whangarei. That sounds horrible as it was bliss being at Danny and Catherines with their huge comfy bed, sky TV and big bath tub. Biff is sorted. He went in for his rust repairs and Danny and myself tidied up the body work after he had been welded. Seems I’m a bit of an amateur panel beater. We bogged (filled) in all the rough edges, sanded him down then spray painted him and coined the phrase "bog and blend" which we have been saying to everything (Kate saw a burnt out car the other day and reckoned it’d be fine after a bit of bog and blend!). We were up until midnight to get it all done before Catherines parents arrived for Christmas but it was worth it. So originally we got quoted $2500 to get him fixed but in the end it cost us just $250! Really made up as he now has his WOF (warrant of fitness) for another 6 months and after we sell him he is someone else’s problem.

Best thing though about being in Whangarei was that they have the best Dominos pizza in NZ. They won some award so we had to give it a go. We ordered 4 pizzas online plus some little pastries for pudding. When they delivered them they had forgotten Kates pizza and hadn’t given us any extra cheese on them. Kate rang to complain so they sent us the whole order again! We sat down to 7 pizzas and 2 boxes of pastries. Danny somehow crammed in both his pizzas while the rest of us had them for breakfast and lunch the next day. Result eh?

Kate will probably argue that the best thing about Whangarei was the fact that she got asked for I.D when we bought some thank you beers for Danny. It totally made her day as you can imagine. I remember the last time I got I.D’d and it does make you feel very special for that split second until you give them your I.D and they realise that you are actually over 30!

We left Whangarei then headed north to Kerikeri, so good they named it twice. Totally true as well as the town was beautiful. Quite modern looking too. The far north of NZ is quite long and thin with the land between the Tasman sea and the Pacific ocean sometimes only 10km away from each other. It is also a very spiritual place for it is believed that Cape Reinga at the northern tip is where Maori spirits depart for the underworld. In Maori legend their spirits walk up 90 mile beach on the west coast, past through Matapia, which is a huge hole in the rock of an off shore island. Then to an ancient Pohutakowa tree at Cape Reinga where they pass through the roots of the tree into the sea and travel back to Hawikie, which is the Polynesian island that the Maori people originate from. Amazingly, the pohutakowa tree is still there and spookily has never ever flowered. We got a bus tour up 90 mile beach (which is actually about 60 miles long) and saw the hole in the rock too. As we got to the northern tip of the beach we all got out and climbed these enormous sand dunes with boogie boards to go dune surfing. I made it to the top of one dune and nearly collapsed! I don’t know what happened. I thought I was having an asthma attack and a hypoglycaemic episode all at once. I waited for it to pass but it never so I crawled over to the edge of the dune and threw myself off on my board. I got to the bottom and staggered over to the bus feeling very faint. Kate kept an eye on me as I slumped against the coach. I felt a little better after a banana and some water but it was a good hour before I was right again. It was bizarre! I joked that it was because I was so unfit but I don’t know what it was and don’t care to experience it again.

On the bus route we stopped at the ancient Kauri kingdom workshop. Basically the Kauri tree is the second largest tree in the world. Thousands of years ago, before all the deforestation that the europeans carried out, loads of Kauri trees were mysteriously felled. They’re not sure why but think it may have been some sort of huge tsunami. These felled trees were absorbed into the ground as they were so heavy and some were covered in swamps. These trees are still being found totally preserved even though they are around 30-45,000 years old! They make furniture out of them so I had high hopes of getting a box for my brother. Alas, the biggest box was a cigar box made from 45,000 year old wood. It would’ve been an awesome final resting place for my brother but I guess I’ll have to keep looking. Sigh.

So we left Kerikeri yesterday and drove back south to the Coramandel peninsula. It was a massive 400km trek and brought our 2-day total of travelling to 1000km! We drove along the Pohutakowa coast and numerous blooming trees before arriving in the town of Coramandel. We are right next to the beach and the sunsets have been stunning so far.

As I write this it is Christmas day and it feels so strange being in the sunshine listening to Xmas songs on the laptop and being so far away from my family. I got a text from my little sister who reminded me that this is her first Christmas without seeing me. It made me quite sad but I have made this choice to travel and although the things I have seen and done this past year will never make up for missing a family Christmas, I am still content. I’ll ring my family tonight and wish them all a merry Christmas but words can not purvey just how much I am missing them. Christmas is such a family time and I can honestly say I don’t intend to spend another one away from them in the near future. It is scorching today here and by 9.30am it was already 25 degrees. There is not a cloud in the sky either but I’m a winter kind of guy so give me cold and snow at Christmas any day. The fact that the UK has had loads of snow too is sitting rather ill with me and I am supremely jealous! That said, in a few weeks I will be up to my waist in sweet fluffy powder. Oh yeah!

We have finally booked the finishing touches to our homeward travels too this week. We leave NZ on my mums birthday which is less than a month away now. From here we head to Los Angeles. L.A. is not my most favourite American city so when we arrive we head straight to San Diego for 5 days. It’ll be nice to relax and scout out the city and maybe go on a whale watching cruise or something. From there we bus it to Las Vegas in Nevada for a week. Quite a long time to spend in sin city but we hope to go to the Grand canyon too. I wonder if they have any poker in Vegas? I’m sure we will see how we do. From Vegas we head to Salt Lake city in Utah. Salt lake city has some of the best skiing in the states and a ton of resorts so we are there for 10 days. I have a lot of friends working there too which I used to work with at Coronet so might see if we can meet. From Utah we head off to Reno for some more gambling then onto San Francisco which is one of my favourite places. We are there for a week before heading up the coast to Seattle for a few days. After that we head into Canada and to Vancouver Island for a while. We are going for more skiing and more whale watching before heading back over to Vancouver for our wedding Anniversary. From there we have a car which we’ll drive through the rockies to something like 10 ski resorts before getting to Calgary. We finally fly home in April from Edmonton and that will be that. In all I think we are in North America for nearly 3 months. I am so looking forward to it too. I can’t wait to get back on my skis but also want to show Kate so many of my favourite places.

Anyway, Kate is cooking our Christmas dinner of Moroccan chicken and cous cous. We thought about a BBQ but it just seems such a cliched thing to do while we are here, plus we had so many BBQ’s in Whangarei. Thank you all for your messages of encouragement for Biff, he is back in our good books, hopefully for the rest of our time here.

Merry Christmas to you all from the sun kissed beaches of New Zealand. I would swap it for the cold and snow of home in a heartbeat though. I miss you all so much. HO HO HO MO FO’s!!

Peace

D

XXXX

Biff issues

2009-12-17T14:28:00.000-08:00

So, another eventful week has passed here. We are currently back up with Danny and Catherine in Whangarei. It is so nice to be in a proper bed, have a nice bath and be with our friends again. Rotorua was fun, once you got over the stench of eggs, or "iggs" as they are pronounced here. The campsite we stayed in had a cool swimming pool which, for once wasn't over run by annoying squealing children which meant we could have a relaxing swim in the summer sun. Kate of course got burnt, but managed to even up the sun burn on her chest so she no longer has just one burnt boob. We did quite a lot in our few days we spent in Rotorua. We went to Te Puia which is a large Moari run geothermal park. It was huge and we traipsed around the boiling mudpools and geysers in the hot sun. They also had a wood carving studio there and i was hopeful of finally getting a nice carved box for my brother to settle into. However the boxes were all too small. I have seen one i like but it's way too small. We have looked all over NZ and have seen some amazingly intricately carved tribal style boxes, but every single one is only jewellery box sized. The hunt continues.

We went zorbing too as Rotorua is the only place in NZ that does it. For the uneducated, a zorb is a huge inflatable ball within an even bigger inflatable ball. Basically you climb ino the inner ball and they roll you down the side of a hill. It was awesome. We hydro zorbed which meant they filled the inner ball with a bit of warm water, then rolled you down the hill. We did the zig zag track too just to proper mess ourselves up. Kate went first and i could hear her squeals and laughs as she hurtled down the track. When it came to my try i of course embarrassed myself. The way you get into a zorb is through a little porthole which you have to run then dive into. On doing this i managed to dive into the zorb in one swift movement but managed to hook my swimming shorts as i dived in. This meant that as i landed in the inner ball of the zorb my shorts were around my ankles! Very graceful but unfortunately quite nude. I apologised to the poor maori dude who was helping but he was already running off clutching his face in pain and screaming something about how his eyes felt like they now had herpes! Oops. So i jumped up and like some sort of huge hamster, rolled my ball onto the track before being thrown around and drenched as it rolled off down the hillside. I imagine it is similar to a cross between a bouncy castle and being in a washing machine. I made it to the bottom were you are ceremoniously "birthed" out of the zorb. They unzip the porthole and you slide out of with all the water. It totally looked like the zorb has just given birth to a wet, disorientated 6 foot baby! Awesome fun though and quite cheap by NZ standards. Definitely something i recommend.

We also went to a Maori evening with the local Mitai tribe. They show you life in an old Maori village and some of their customs, before being greeted by a huge war canoe full of kitted out warriors. You then have a big meal that is cooked in the ground called a 'hangi' When we went outside to see the hangi being unveiled our guide asked us what it was. We all shouted back "hangi!" She then asked if we could smell it? To which one dumb American tourist behind me smugly shouted "H-A-N-G-I" I of course turned and informed her that she said smell, not spell. Her partner also told her this and she then went on to admit that she had never been so embarrassed. I of course found it all hilarious. Our guide, who was this huge tattooed Maori women then led us into a big hall and we had dinner. It was well nice and i stuffed my face with lamb, chicken, kumara and stuffing. I decided that it was gonna be the closest thing we are going to have to a Christmas dinner this year.

I also noticed the similarities between the big tattooed Maori lady and my mum. Maybe there is some Maori blood in us mum? I mean, you are pretty big (tall not fat), you cook an awesome roast and you have tattoos. Hmmm , something to ponder. Any good with a spear?

We also spent some time in the Polynesian spa that they have down by the lake. All the geothermal phenomenon around make it an awesome setting for spas and the Polynesian spa is rated among the top ten in the world. I just sat in the various eggy hot pools while Kate when for a mud polish or something like that. Basically we left very relaxed but stunk of eggs for a few days as it had permeated our skin.

We then headed north and stayed the night in Takapuna beach which is just north of Auckland. It felt very weird driving back through Auckland. I initially liked the place but on further travels around NZ you get to see just how everyone else here loathes it and the people who live there. They are affectionaltely called JAFFAs which stands for "Just another fucking friendly Aucklander" and relates to how Aucklanders are very demanding and unfriendly. Well, only by NZ standards. I guess it's the same with every big city in the world though but you don't want to be a JAFFA in New Zealand. Same as back home really were the term means you are unable to produce children.

Takapuna beach was nice though and we strolled along the golden sand, explored rock pools and i sat in the shade of the pehoutakowa (not sure on that spelling) trees and played my guitar to the waves. It was extremely relaxing. Pehoutakowa trees are also called Christmas trees as they bloom around now and have very vibrant red flowers. I guess that from a distance and with a little imagination, they kinda look like baubles too i guess.

So we are now in Whangarei again. We got here the other day and took Biff to get his WOF. He of course failed. He has a rough wheel bearing which isn't a big deal to sort but also has a lot of new rust from our days at the sea side. The rust failed him big time so we are having to get that sorted. Danny has hooked us up with some dodgy panel beater who reckons he can do it on the cheap for us. So we are without Biff for the weekend but Danny and Catherine have lent us one of their 3 cars. We went to the park the other day to kill a bit of time and i ended up saving a stranded dachshund from a stream! We were walking back to the car park when we heard this man cry out. I went to investigate and saw this elderly gent on his knees trying to get into the stream. I asked him if he was alright but he was clearly distressed. I went over and noticed his tubby little sausage dog had fallen into the stream and due to the steep banks was stuck. I jumped over the stream and crouched down to lift the poor wet dog out for the old guy. He was very appreciative and said he had a dodgy heart and feared he'd have lost his dog. I watched him for a while just to make sure he didn't keel over from the stress but he was fine and i walked back over to Kate. She was more interested in laughing at how i had jumped off a little ledge to go help the old guy and had slipped over and fell. She can be so immature sometimes! I saved a bloody dog! I felt a bit better about myself and even forgot about Biff for a split second. I'm sure he will be fine but it is just a huge pain in the arse for us. It means our 3 days stopover with Danny and Cat is now looking more like a week. They are cool about it all but i don't want to put them out. Danny has already spent time taking Biff apart to see if we could get away with just cleaning up and re greasing his dodgy bearing. They seem to be fine with it though.

It was Catherines birthday the other day so we went up toward Tutukaka and to a nice secluded beach called Sandy bay. It was awesome to be on the beach but sheltered by the huge pehoutakowa trees. Kate didn't even get burnt! I amused myself by making a sand sculpture of a stingray and a dolphin which both came out better than i expected. We then went to Woolleys bay again, the site of our body boarding exploits from our previous visit. We decided to stay in the car this time though as it was getting cold. Danny and Catherine braved the sea while we watched from the warmth of the car. I got involved in my ipod while Kate got distracted by a dog which meant we failed to notice both Danny and Catherine get caught in a riptide and dragged out to sea! They weren't dragged out too far and made it back OK so no harm done eh? Oops.

So we are here for a few more days then might head to the northern tip of NZ before heading back to the Coromendal peninsula for new year. We want to be in close proximity to Auckland so we can try and sell Biff. That is unless he fails his WOF again and i drive him off a bloody cliff!

Peace

D

XXXX

Te moko

2009-12-15T14:39:00.000-08:00

So we are back "up north" albeit a very different kind of "up north" than we are used to back home. Our ferry crossing to Wellington was pretty uneventful but seemed to take forever. No pod of 300 dolphins this time though. We bypassed Wellington deciding to stay in Upper Hutt, which is a town just north of the NZ capital. It was purely a place to break up the drive so first thing in the morning we got back on the road and headed up to Napier. Napier is famous for a few things. It was destroyed by an earthquake in the 1930s and rebuilt in the art deco styling of that era. In fact it is the one of the biggest collections of art deco buildings in the world. I was expecting South beach in Miami but it was thoroughly disappointing. Near enough every town we have visited in NZ conforms to the same dull architecture. Square shops with a huge awning style porch that protrudes out over the sidewalk. Napier was no different except the art deco stores had fancy window frames and a few elaborate coving style features. Not exactly south beach in any respect of the word. It was however an extremely beautiful drive in. The main tree lined parade runs along the sea front and in the hot summer sun it looked so refreshing and welcoming. We only really stopped in Napier to stock up on supplies and figure out our next route though.

We decided to head further along the coast to Gisborne. Gisborne is a place that is rarely visited by tourists as it’s only famous for the spot where Captain Cook and his crew first landed in NZ. They met with a local Maori tribe and misinterpreted the tribes welcome ritual and ended up killing most of them! Maori welcome greetings are pretty scary though. We saw one at the official opening to the NZ winter games back in Qtown. On the drive up we stopped at the Morere hot springs for a quick dip to soothe our aching arses (long road trips aren’t great for the gluteus maximus). A coach load of seniors had arrived literally minutes before us and we feared we’d have to share the springs with lots of wrinkly oldies. They were actually really nice. Their cruise ship had been quarantined in Gisborne so they had a free day. When I asked where they were cruising to they told me they were on a natural history cruise to the Antarctic! Kate preceded to give them all the stink eye from then on as it has long been a dream of hers to go there.

We also drove past the Tui brewery. Tui is one of my favourite beers here. It’s a dark ale that, at 4% leaves you feeling pretty fresh in the morning. I jokingly texted Dicks and told him that we had driven past the brewery and that they had a huge banner on the outside that read "Thank you Darrell and Dickon for a record breaking winter." Me and Dicks nearly drunk Qtown dry after all.

As we neared Gisborne though all the electrics in Biff decided to cut out. The radio cut off and the window wipers stopped working. Luckily it was 25 degrees and sunny but we were obviously concerned. We made it to our campsite right on the beach where I stupidly turned the engine off. That was it, Biff died on us. He wouldn’t start. It felt like a flat battery but we had just driven for 4 hours so it should’ve been well charged. We called the AA who sent a little dude to save us. He charged the battery but said it looked like our alternator was fucked. I followed him to his workshop and he had a proper look. He said we’d need to leave Biff with him overnight and he’d get it fixed in the morning. Only problem with that was that we had no where to sleep and had already paid for the campsite for the night. The little dude came up with a solution. He changed the battery in Biff for free so we could use him overnight and then bring him back in the morning. This was a life saver. We took Biff in the next morning and by lunchtime he was ready to go again. He didn’t need a new alternator after all, just the brushes changed?! It worked out as pretty cheap too which was a result.

While Biff was in repair we took it upon ourselves to explore the town and to be honest it was lovely. Yes, there wasn’t a lot to do from a tourists point of view but it was very chilled out and we spent time wandering the town and sea front. On our little jaunt along the coast we noticed a dolphin just in the surf, not more than 75 metres out to sea. It was frolicking and playing with surfers. We watched it for a while before going to pick up Biff. When we got back to the campsite we could see the dolphin still playing with people in the surf. The local paper ran a story about it and the potential dangers of dolphins. They get quite frisky with the ladies apparently. We decided to stay another day just to enjoy a relaxed day on the beach so this morning I woke up and talked Kate into coming for a paddle with me. It helped that the dolphin was still hanging around.

So we waded out to waist deep water and watched in awe as the dolphin (called Moko – which is a Maori tattoo) brought us little sticks for us to threw. It was an enormous bottlenose and you felt it’s strength as it brushed past you and clipped you with it’s tail. We threw the stick for ages and it retrieved it every time. After a while a few more people headed over and Moko let us stroke him. He did freak out though at one guy and chased him out of the water! Apparently he had done the same thing the previous day and the guy wondered if it had anything to do with his false knee. Maybe, dolphins do have a sixth sense. Maybe it messed with it’s finely tuned magnetic field, or maybe that’s sharks. LOL. I reckon the dolphin sensed that the guy had a dodgy leg and didn’t want him to get hurt. Either way I found it quite amusing to see a dude getting chased by a 2.5 metre long dolphin.

It was the perfect way to start the day in my eyes and the drive from Gisborne to Rotorua went past in a smile induced haze. So that’s where we are now. Rotorua is the thermo geological centre of NZ. It is on a huge lake but has lots of bubbling mud pools and geysers and the air is tinged with the smell of eggy trumps. Luckily I’m used to it with Kates ability to make every digested food smell like eggs and the fact that my family patented the eggy whipton fart back in the 60’s.

We are gonna stay here for a few days as there is a shed load of stuff to do. It is a popular tourist destination for many reasons but the geothermal parks and spas are the main reason we are here.

So a few other things of note. Christmas in the middle of a god damn heat wave is just wrong! The day we left Picton they had their Christmas parade. It was a gorgeous day but I felt so sorry for the dude in the santa costume. I have mentioned before that it seems weird having Christmas in the middle of summer but I am really having a problem with it. Yes, I quite like the bikini clad beauties in the santa hats but I crave the cold and the potential of a near impossible white Christmas. A Christmas tree with tinsel and lights doesn’t quite look right next to palm tree either.

I have seen quite a few of my old work mates too. In Nelson I saw one of the lifties and in Picton I saw another lifty and a girl who used to work in F&B. I know NZ is small but it was nice to see some familiar faces. Unfortunately they were all doosh bags at Coronet so I never spoke to them. I just hid under my cap. I was a fairly recognisable guy at Coronet, what with the huge bright orange beanie, but luckily I have my anonymity back just by wearing a boring cap.

Something that made me near wet myself the other day was something I misheard Kate say. JC and Laura very kindly gave us the rest of a bottle of captain morgans spiced rum when they left for the bush and their jobs on the Milford track. I’m not really a rum fan but Kate has been dipping into it on occasion. We keep the rum stowed away in a box at the back of Biff with some of our wash stuff. Kate picked up the bottle the other day and thought it had leaked as it had liquid on the outside. She licked it off to find it was in fact shower gel! I laughed at that but then asked her what it tasted it like. She replied that it tasted like "semen rules." I double took and looked at her with quite a shocked look on my face. She stopped and asked me "what?" I asked her again what it tasted like and she then pointed out that the shower gel that had leaked on the bottle was actually "sea minerals" I was in bits for ages and hadn’t laughed that hard since I saw a toddler fall head first down a sand dune at the beach the other day.

So that is all for this week folks. We are still slowly meandering our way north and the imminent departure date is now only 6 weeks away. Sigh. Mustn’t dwell on that though as still have tons to look forward to. Including our epic trip home, which I will mention more about in a later blog I think.

So I strongly recommend a morning swim with a dolphin to put in a good mood and set you up for an awesome day. Hopefully Biff won’t get jealous and misbehave again, especially since he is due his MOT next week. Gulp.

Peace

D

XXXX

Abel Tasman to Picton....

2009-12-04T17:40:00.000-08:00

Howdy everybody, I think the last time I blogged we had left Kaikoura and headed up to the Abel Tasman national park. It was awesome up there and we enjoyed exploring the sandy beaches and the little coves. We strolled along the beach and just enjoyed having the sun on our backs. It was dampened somewhat by Biff acting up. We were just cruising along one day when we heard this massive crash noise from the back. Kate noticed something had fallen off him and told me to pull over. I parked up and ran back down the road to find the cover of Biffs front roof vent. We headed back to the campsite with some araldite, borrowed a ladder and I stuck it back on. It seems Biff got upset with us and quite literally blew his top! Kate joked that he probably just needed to vent all the farts trapped inside him. We were a bit dubious about driving anywhere too far until we knew the vent would stick so only really went to the local Pupu (yes that was really what they were called) springs. They are a sacred Maori spring which produces the clearest water in Australaisa. Shame they were sacred as it would’ve been an awesome place to snorkel. Especially since the visibility of the water was something crazy like 60 metres which is about as clear as water gets!

Anyway, Biffs vent seemed to stay in place so we braved the next leg of our trip. As it was my birthday the other day we decided to head back to Nelson, as it was somewhere we knew we could have a nice meal and a few drinks. On the way we stopped at Kaiteriteri beach. Oh my god it is easily the most picturesque beach I have ever been to. We leapt out of Biff and explored all the little coves and inlets in the glorious sunshine before heading onward to Nelson. We stayed in the same place as before and got a nice little discount from the owner. On my birthday we sat out in the sun and had a few beers. It was very odd being so far away from everyone for my birthday. I mean I have had my birthday in other countries before and spoke to my family but couldn’t help but feel a bit lonely and distant. I am 34 now and starting to feel it! I have noticed a few white hairs in my beard and had a mysterious craving for werthers originals the other day! Nah man, I feel closer to 24 than 34! Kate reckons I’m closer to 14 but I think she might be trying to insult me with that one. Having a birthday here was good in a way though as it felt like I had a 2-day celebration. I got texts from my Qtown friends when it was my birthday here then got texts and facebook messages the following day when it was my birthday in the UK. Pretty cool.

So on my UK birthday we decided to head into town for a game of poker. It was at a pretty swish bar called 623. It was a welcome change from the dives we had played in since leaving Qtown. Most of the poker games were held in pretty nice bars there but we have also played in a few TABs, which are NZ betting bars. All the betting shops here have bars in them so you can get rid of a few vices at once. I joked that all they needed was a brothel upstairs and there would be no reason to ever leave! Brothels in NZ are legal by the way. They are government run so all the hookers pay taxes and stuff. They are still seen as taboo but it gives the working girls a clean safe place to work, they get a pension and contribute to the economy. The way forward perhaps?

Anyway, the poker game was in an upstairs bar and as soon as we got there I was feeling good. The 6 warm up beers probably helped. I won the first hand, which immediately relaxed me too. Always a good sign. Well, I ended up smashing everyone! I think I was playing so confidently that I intimidated a few of the players. I didn’t mean to it’s just that I felt so good. At heads up I ended up beating the other guy by hitting a pair of 3’s and smashing his “big chick” which is a hand of ace – queen (which is like one of the top hands). He took it well and the $70 bar tab was mine! Sweet! It was so nice to win again, especially since I played so well. The bar tab came in very handy too and we enjoyed a slap up meal and a few drinks the following night. So nice having the game in a nice venue as the food was pretty nice. I think we are going to consider looking for more poker games as we travel north. It is a great way to kill time, meet new people and maybe, just maybe win a bar tab or 2.

We left Nelson yesterday. Now it is supposed to be the sunniest place in NZ with around 300 days of sun a year but it has pissed down for the last couple. We left there under grey, cold gloom and headed to Picton. We drove the Queen Charlotte route from Havelock (which, apart from Qtown is the only place in NZ we have been to more than twice) along the Queen charlotte sound and were greeted with some stunning views. It was probably the windiest road I have ever driven and my arms where aching from the effort it took to keep Biff on the tarmac. So we are back in Picton now until tomorrow when we get the ferry back to the North island. I will be sad to leave what I consider the best of the 3 big islands that make up New Zealand. I have enjoyed pretty much all of this island and will always hold a spot in my heart for Qtown. A place I still consider my home. Getting back up north though will mean we get to do all the things we omitted on the trip down which will be good. It also means warmer weather as it being the Southern Hemisphere, you head north to get warmer weather. I just hope Biff decides to not blow his top!

Thank you so much everyone for all the birthday messages. They really meant a lot to me. Just keep hold of any presents until I get home. Ha ha.

Peace

D

XXXX

2009-11-30T15:18:00.000-08:00

Wow, I had forgotten just how much distance it is possible to cover in such a short period of time. We agreed before we arrived in NZ that we would never drive for more than a few hours a day but what with NZ being such a small country you can get pretty far in such a short time. Man, if this place had more than 100 miles of motorway you’d be able to fly around it no problem. I say this because since I last blogged in Akaroa we have covered the remainder of the south island and are now in the far north of the south island in Paroha which is in the Abel Tasman national park. For the first time in our trip we have actually revisited places and are re driving roads to places we missed when we passed through last time.

After we left the supposedly very French town of Akoroa we went to the supposedly very English city of Christchurch. To be brutally honest I didn’t really see the Englishness of it. Apart from the place names (St Albans and Northwood to name but a few) and the Avon river that runs through the city with it’s punters on it, it was just another NZ city. It was an amazing NZ city though. It’s pretty big by NZ standards but the shopping was awesome. Everything you’d ever need was in walking distance of the city centre unlike Aucklands sprawling metropolis. It was very clean too, well compared to the copious amounts of dog shit all over the place in Akaroa, Christchurch was like a hospital operating theatre. We stayed there for a few days and stocked up on a few creature comforts, including an early birthday present from Kate of a new basketball game for the laptop and a ‘troller’ (as my nephew would say). It was great to be in proper shopping malls too. Not just because of the shops but because of all the Christmas decorations. It is summer here and it makes it very easy to forget that Christmas is only a few weeks away. I’m not really looking forward to a warm Christmas away from all my friends and family. It seems just plain wrong to think of a barbie instead of the traditional turkey and all the trimmings. Probably why they had a Christmas in July back in Qtown when it was cold and snowy.

We tried our luck at a local poker game too but when we realised that half of them were playing in the national championships in auckland we realised we were in above our heads. Needless to say we got knocked out pretty quickly. We really enjoyed our time in Christchurch though and considered staying there for a while longer. It was just so nice to sort of be normal again. I mean we went to the cinema and saw the new Twilight movie, we ate out and we shopped a lot (not buying anything of course but Kate got to touch loads of things). A welcome break from the ritual of road life.

We were however quite keen to leave Christchurch and get to our next stop, Kaikoura (pronounced Ky-Kowra – which means ‘to eat crayfish’ in Maori. Not Ky-kora which means ‘to eat bird feathers’). The main reason for going to Kaikoura is that it is home to one of the most diverse and largest selection of sealife in NZ, and all just a little bit off shore. The reason for this is that there is a huge 3000 metre deep trench just off shore. At certain points along the coast the trench is only 800 metres away! The deep trench attracts deep sea animals such as whales and giant squid which would normally be out in the middle of the sea. It is the premier place here to whale watch as over 20 different types of whale and porpoise can be seen throughout the year. We of course we there in that grey area between winter and summer. In winter it is a popular feeding ground for humpback whales and in summer it attracts killer and blue whales. Luckily though sperm whales and various breeds of dolphin are around all year. We decided to stay in a campsite right in town. It was cheap too and after inspection of the shower facilities we could see why. The mens had bloody graffiti sprayed in it! It was alright though and we couldn’t complain as it was super cheap. We booked our whale watching trip for the day after we arrived but when we turned up for it the weather had turned and it was cancelled. The following day it was a gorgeous summer day so we were quite excited about getting out on the boat. After an amazing BBC documentary (filmed in Kaikoura) in the whale watching HQ and a safety briefing we headed off to our vessel. The sea looked super calm but as we left the harbour the boat really started rocking. Before we got on the boat we were told the sea was “a bit jobbly” but not even sure if that was a real word we assumed it would all be ok. I have never been sea sick before but even before we left the campsite I felt a little queasy. I thought I’d be barfing for Britain on the boat but I was fine. Unlike some dude at the back of the boat who spent most of trip chucking his guts up. Ha ha! We stopped at a few places while the captain listened with a hydrophone for the whale. Sperm whales make the second loudest noise in nature after the pistol shrimp. Their sonar can produce sound that is 230 decibels. A jumbo jet engine at full thrust is around 140 decibels! Yeah, sperm whales are pretty fucking gnarly eh? The guide on the boat told us how in Canada a diver got hit by a sperm whales sonar and started peeing blood cos his internal organs had been damaged by it. Ok ok, so yes I have become a bit of a sperm whale expert but they are fascinating creatures which hold so many world records. They dive the deepest, hold there breath forever and have awesome underwater battles with giant and colossal squids! They are the largest toothed predator in the world too. After a few stops though for the captain to hunt the whale we were still no closer to seeing one. Another whale watching boat from our company joined us and the two captains suddenly gunned it to a spot where they thought the whale was. And low and behold they were right! We stopped the boat and everyone legged it out onto the deck. It was enormous! The sperm whales they have in Kaikoura are all adolescent males so are only half grown too! It floated on the surface for about 10 minutes before it started preparing to dive. We waited as it bucked and disappeared before coming back to the surface. Each time getting itself ready to dive 2 miles down into the ‘midnight zone.’ Then just as our guide predicted it headed down and lifted it’s tail right out of the sea. It was awesome and I got an awesome pic of it – soon to be on facebook. We called the sperm whale ‘Spunky’ and left the deck. We headed back to shore well happy with ourselves. Even the vomiting dude at the back of the boat couldn’t dampen our spirits. So, if anyone has any queries about sperm whales just direct them to me. If anyone is curious, for example, as to why they are called sperm whales it’s because they have a milky white oil in their heads which looks like jizz. The oil is thought to be either a sonar magnifier or that the whale can solidify the oil when it wants to dive and use it as ballast so it sinks faster. When it wants to surface it liquefies the oil which then becomes buoyant. See, sperm whales are way cool!

We also finally bought some pounamu (Maori greenstone) in Kaikoura as it was easily the most Moari place we have seen on the south island. Pounamu holds loads of meaning in Maori history. Each piece is crafted into tribal patterns which all symbolise things. The thing about greenstone though is that you are not allowed to buy it for yourself as it is bad luck. So we decided to treat ourselves to early Christmas presents and got some for each other. Mine is a Wharea (Pronounced farea). It is a tribal leaders shape which signifies strength and overcoming adversity. Seemed pretty fitting to me. I wanted to get Kate something meaningful too but in the end got her an awesome piece that looks like a fern leaf. Not sure it symbolises anything in the traditional sense of things but for us it will always be a reminder of our time here.

We reluctantly left Kaikoura and it’s many fish and chip shops and headed north. We are now in Pohara. Right on the beach and enjoying the sunshine. We are here for a few days and might go kayaking with the seals on the local beach before heading back to Nelson for a proper visit as the last one was a bit of a cloak and dagger operation to go see Debbie. It’s nice to be back up this way so we can do all the stuff we didn’t get a chance to do last time we where up here.

I am starting to feel more and more Kiwi as of late. Mostly because I, like everyone else here am walking around barefoot. It seems Kiwis, although inventing the flip flop, like to have the feel of the earth beneath their toes. To be fair I am only walking barefoot along the beach but I’ve seen Kiwis driving cars barefoot! Maybe I’m becoming more of a pikey than a Kiwi. Especially since I pee’d in a bottle in Biff the other day. Hey, it was pissing it down outside and it was at least 30 metres to the toilets. I’m not lazy, it’s just that getting anything dry in Biff is a bit of a nightmare. At least that’s what I told Kate.

Will let you know what’s happening in our world again shortly.

Peace

D

XXXX

Lake Take-a-poo

2009-11-18T13:48:00.000-08:00

Howdy from the Amazingly picturesque town of Akaroa which is about 70 km south of Christchurch. Since my last entry we have travelled pretty far. We left the relative comfort of our apartment in Dunedin with our bags re packed and our pockets stuffed full of stolen coffee! When I quizzed Kate on why we now had tons of coffee she just stated “Have you seen the price of coffee over here?!” All well and good I suppose when we are trying to live to a budget but I don’t actually remember the last time Kate drank coffee. We also pillaged the apartment of all it’s shampoo and conditioner but that’s just standard hotel theft really. So from Dunedin we headed north along the coast to the town of Oamaru famous for it’s penguin colonies. So as you can imagine Kate was busting a nut as we approached the town and saw penguin shops galore! We settled into our campsite and on the advice from the lady in the office waited until the evening before making our way to the penguin colonies. There are several dotted along the coast but the best ones are bushy beach (which has it’s own blog at NFOBB.co.nz if you are interested) which has a large colony of yellow eye penguins and the Oamaru blue penguin centre just outside town. We got to bushy beach and anticipated another cliff to climb like the one we had to scale when we went to sandfly point on the Otago peninsula and saw Duncan the lonely penguin. Bushy Beach was far more considerate for the unfit though and had a nice cliff top walk to the penguin hide. The Beach was actually off limits after 3pm so we wandered along the cliff tops stopping at various points were other people had gathered. At one stop we leaned over the barrier and saw a huge yellow eyed penguin no more than 10 feet away from us! He/she was just standing there watching us. We had been told that they are extremely timid animals but here one was as bold as brass just watching us watching it. Kate was ecstatic and I managed to squeeze off a few decent pics before we headed further along the walkway to the hide. Once there we saw a few more penguins further down the beach waddling along. It was so cool but I couldn’t help but get distracted by a large crowd that had amassed on the walkway back along the cliff. I left Kate to investigate and when I arrived there were 2 penguins about 20 feet away doing their greeting dances. Penguins have a greeting ritual when they meet back with their partners after a hard days fishing. It was so cool! I beckoned Kate over and she squealed and cooed when she saw them. We watched them for around 30 minutes before deciding to head over to the blue penguin colony in town. We arrived super early as it didn’t open until 30 minutes before sunset. Blue penguins are extremely shy and only come on land when it is dark. We had to pay for the privilege as the penguin colony has a massive grandstand you have to watch them from and they also do tons of penguin rehab and research there too. By the time we got our seats on the grandstand there was around 50 people all eager to see the little blue penguins. We waited for the tell tale signs of there imminent arrival. Blue penguins all collect about 500 metres off shore in these groups called rafts then they all arrive on the beach at once in a massive frenzy. We saw a few little rafts out to sea in the fading light and before we knew it there were little penguins all over the place! The beach was covered in them, all clambering up the rocks to their nesting ground. When they got to the top of the rocks they had to cross a path. They all waited then tentatively crossed the path before running off in loads of directions to get to their little burrows on the other side of a fence. It was amazing as there just so many of them. One even trotted across the bottom of the grandstand right in front of us. They were totally oblivious to us as the special lights the centre uses ensures the penguins still think it’s pitch black, we could see them but they couldn’t see us. We counted around 150 penguins! They were super cute too and I was in stitches watching them walk. When we left we had to check under Biff to make sure there weren’t any penguins hiding out under him. On the drive out there were penguins all over the place! Running out of bushes, hiding by lamposts and just hanging out on street corners, maybe they were penguin prostitutes? Such a shame there were no cameras allowed. Er, not for the penguin hookers though.

It was easily the best $20 I had spent and it is something I strongly recommend anyone doing if they are in the vicinity. Most penguin beaches have no guarantee that you will see anything but the colony at Oamaru has over 300 penguins that all come ashore at nightfall every night. They are super cute too. It certainly satisfied Kates penguin fetish, for how long though will need to be seen.

From Oamaru we headed back inland. The terrain in NZ is so varied and our trip to Lake Tekapo from Oamaru was a prime example of just how diverse it is in such a short distance. We had been used to large green hills covered in flowering yellow gorse for the previous weeks but now the scenery turned to flat brown plains for as far as the eye could see all covered in buttercups. As we headed further inland we hit the southern Alps again so were again surrounded by snow capped mountains. Mt Cook, which is NZs highest peak loomed off in the distance but the low cloud made it hard to make out. We had already seen it from the west coast anyway so weren’t that bothered. We stopped at Lake Pukaki for lunch and I was in shock at just how absurdly turquoise the lake was. Apparently the glaciers in the area crush rocks together and form something called glacial flour. It’s like a white powder that you can see coating rocks but it suspends itself just under the surface of the lakes and reflects the sky really well. It was awe inspiring and no picture I took does it any justice. I had seen a similar thing at Lake Louise in Canada but the sheer size of Lakes Pukaki and Tekapo completely dwarf it. We also noticed that everywhere was covered in flowering lupins now. They were stunning and really added colour to the earthy scenery. When we got to Lake Tekapo we settled into our lakeside campsite and went for a stroll along the lake front. We also headed over to the hot pools and had a nice long soak. Lake Tekapo is famous for it’s lake obviously but is also one of the best places to star gaze. They are trying to get the sky above Tekapo made into a world heritage sight! This was clearly evident on my frequent treks to the toilets over night. At one point both Kate and me just stood in the middle of the campsite gazing upward. I have seen some awesome skies since I have been here away from the usual light pollution we get at home but the skies that night will stay with me forever. It was so clear. Not only could I see Orions belt, I could see the bulge in his shorts too!!

We left Lake Tekapo the following day and headed north. The terrain again changed as we left the snow capped mountains behind us. Instead the vast rolling brown plains became hills again. In the distance the large rolling brown hills looked like a sleeping sharpei. You know like those really wrinkly dogs. Here in NZ the andrex puppy isn’t a labrador it’s a brown sharpei puppy. It still runs away with the bog roll but it is way cuter and considerably more wrinkled! We continued north passing Mt Hutt which if you remember is one of the sister resorts to Coronet Peak. It still had a fair bit of snow on it too and I could see why it has the longest ski season in NZ. We stopped in Ashburton for a milkshake as the weather here is getting noticeably warmer, before continuing back to the coast and to the town of Akaroa. It is out on this big peninsula with lots of huge hills which Biff didn’t like one bit! Akaroa is famous for a few things. It is a French settlement so we thought it might be a good spot to stop for some good deli meats, some cheese and a nice baguette. Amazingly, just like France they charge you extortionate prices for it all too! Needless to say our French style picnic has been put on hold. Another thing that it’s famous for is the rare Hectors dolphin. They swim freely in the huge harbour and for a couple of hundred bucks you can swim with them. Again, a little too pricey for us. Kaikoura, up the coast is famous for it’s whale watching and dolphin encounters so we will probably do something when we are there. They also have the largest white flippered penguin colony in NZ here too. A fact Kate swears she wasn’t aware of before deciding to stay here. Yeah right. Bloody penguins! Akaroa is stunning though. We are back in the rolling green hills over looking a huge natural harbour with crystal clear sea. It is so gorgeous we have decided to rest here an extra day before heading off to Christchurch.

So I am also struggling with the feeling of being a tourist again. I know I have always been one but when we settled in Qtown, had jobs and our own place it felt more like home. I hate being spoken to like a tourist too. I have great pleasure in telling people that we have already been here 9 months! Being back in Biff is OK, I guess. Yes I feel a lot like some sort of Hermit crab, dragging my house around on my back, but it is allowing us to see some pretty amazing places and we have a freedom that I will probably never feel again. Yes, financially we are pretty fucked but we decide where we want to go and we go there. We still have no plans. If we see somewhere that looks cool we stay there a little bit longer. It is a freedom that is like the freedom you have as a kid on school holidays. You woke up, met with friends and then the world was your oyster. Here it is different of course, we can drive! We can go anywhere, as long as it isn’t too steep for Biff. Without him we would have missed out on so many out of the way places far off the beaten track. I will forever miss this freedom when I come home and I imagine it will be something I will pine for for years to come. I grumble about Biff I know. I mean, I hit my head in him about 5 times a day, he smells of petrol sometimes, his dashboard rattles when you get to 50 kph and he is more difficult to park than a cruise liner but he is so much more than our home/mode of transport. No, he is part of the family. He looks after us and we look after him. He keeps us dry and warm and we in return fill him with petrol and take him on adventures. With that in mind I suppose I have nothing to complain about eh? Hmmm, I think I am setting myself up here as I have noticed a strange knocking in the steering column and his tracking has become a problem. I just hope he holds it together for a few more months. Then it is someone else’s problem. I will miss him though when we do come to sell him. WE LOVE YOU BIFF!!

Anyway guys I’ll let you know how I get on in Christchurch. It is apparently NZs most English city.

Peace

D

XXXX

Dunedin done

2009-11-12T12:33:00.000-08:00

Hey guys,

Thought i'd add a quick entry to my blog as we leave Dunedin in the morning and head back on the road so god knows when i will be online again. Dunedin has been fairly kind to us. It's not what i would call a typical city but by NZ standards it is pretty big. It has a real Scottish heritage which we noticed as soon as we arrived here and went to the local farmers market. A dude playing a bagpipe ushered us into the market where we did our usual thing of being impressed with all the local fresh produce without actually buying anything. It's a trick i have learnt from Kate. There are also lots of touristy little Scottish shops scattered around where you can buy tartans and haggis. We have even seen dickhead tourists wearing tamoshanters (the little tartan hats). They look like something from the Russ Abbott show from back in the 80's! The city is a university city and has the oldest uni in NZ. Both Tee and Anna went to school here, as do most Kiwis, and they spoke about a city full of vibrancy and fun. I guess when you are a student and out with mates on the piss all the time, most places can be seen that way. I beg to differ. Yes there are a lot of bars and there is a live music scene here but it is in no way as lively as Qtown was.

We have only really ventured out of the apartment at night once to be fair. We were walking along the cities main street when we noticed a NPPL poker tournament being played that night at an Irish bar called "The Bog." We decided we would give it a go as we have played a fair bit of poker over the last few months. I may have mentioned it? Anyway, we got to the bar and it was dead. We nearly about turned and scarpered but we got a beer and signed up for poker. Similar to Qtown games, at 6.55pm, 5 minutes before the game was supposed to start, about 30 people suddenly appeared. I got chatting to the barman who turned out to be an odd little fella from Fleet. Elvetham Heath to be exact who had also lived in Guildford. He was bizarre so i dodged anymore conversation with him and got stuck into the game. My table was probably the quietest poker table i had ever been at. Lots of guys taking it all way too seriously. I didn't get any hands and before long i was left with only a few chips. It didn't help that they did a raffle where you bought numbers which would be drawn to win chips. Just buying numbers got you 5000 chips for every 5 bucks you spent. After the first raffle some guy on my table suddenly had over 50,000 in chips! I sat opposite him with a mere 3000. It struck me as a bit unfair. I mean we did raffles back in Qtown but you won maybe 15,000 at most. This guy had gone from nothing to chip leader in the space of 5 minutes, and there were 2 raffles! It takes a lot of poker out of the game but as i have always said about poker, cream rises to the top. I was patient. Probably the most patient i have ever been at a poker table. I bided my time and got a run of cards which saw me turn my 3000 chips to around 120,000! When we both got to final table i was the chip leader! Kate took great pleasure in informing everyone that i hadn't played the raffle either as everyone was in awe of my huge stack whilst i went to the bathroom. I played a bit sketchy on final table after Kate got knocked out as i felt she just wanted to go home. After one bullshit call i made she had a go at me and told me to tighten up. I told her i thought she wanted to go but she said she'd prefer a bar tab. I then went on a tear, knocking out 3 people and regaining the chip lead. When it got to heads up against me and this one eyed dude called Eden I was already stoked. It already felt like a win. I was down to just 3 chips at one point and had got to heads up. I was way tired though and got beat. I am still on a high from it though even though the $25 dollar bar tab has long been spent. It proved to me that i am pretty good at this poker malarkey. In Qtown i got to a point where i was just playing the same faces week in and week out and i got a bit bored of it as i knew i had already beaten them but here in a new place with new people and up against the stupidest raffle system in the world, i played awesome! I don't think i have a gambling problem or anything but i love playing Texas hold 'em. Be it online or in a dingy pub, as long as it is free, i love it. I have only played a few cash games and have had a fair bit of success in them but playing for money holds a sort of fear for me. Probably for the best anyway.

Especially since we got our final payments into our account this week. Kates last payslip and holiday pay was more than we thought it would be and we got pretty much all of our security deposit back on the house (the oven needed cleaning which cost $80) but our bank account is far from what i would call healthy. The money we have in there now is supposed to see us through from now up until we leave NZ. Apart from our tax rebates which we can apply for next month, we will not be getting anymore money in. It is super scary in a way, especially since i drained my UK bank account too whilst in Qtown. Money that was supposed to be used for things like Birthday and Xmas cards. So for the first time in years i feel skint. I mean we have money locked away in UK accounts for when we get home but for know we actually have money worries. The cost of living out here is way more than we thought and the pound has spiralled down in value against the Kiwi dollar. We heard the other day that NZ groceries have increased in price the 3rd most in the world after only Korea and Australia. It shows as well with huge discrepancies from place to place. Avocados were nearly $3 each in Qtown! You can buy 2 for $1 here. It all comes down to NZ only having 2 main supermarket companies and them charging ridiculous prices for stuff. The farmers here are getting shafted too as they are paid pretty much the same for their goods as they were 10 years ago but the mark up on them is insane. Groan. So nights out and poker (unless we can keep winning bar tabs) are probably things of the past for us now as we are really gonna have to tighten the old purse strings.

That said we did go a little crazy on our Cadbury factory tour. Man, even by NZ standards it was shit! They had these little animatronic dolls making chocolate in the main foyer. It looked like a really naff version of it's a small world after all in Disney. Like they had made the dolls themselves from an early 1970's edition of Blue Peter! We got some freebies though but nothing good like Dairy milk or crunchies. We went to the shop on the way out though and bought a few bars which lasted all of about 15 minutes once we got them back to the apartment.

It seems i have fallen back into my old ways of pigging out on lots of rubbish food. The week we spent in Biff i obsessed about food but stuck to just noodles, rice and peanut butter sandwiches, or Pikey food as i call it. In Dunedin i have already had 2 burger kings. It doesn't help that it is quite cheap. When we get back in Biff i am seriously going to have to change my ways again. I have also started waking up at the butt crack of dawn again. A common family ailment is that a few of us are natural early risers. My Nan used to work in a newsagent so was always up and out by 6.30am but in comparison to my mum, her 6.30am is considered a lay in! I am not quite that bad yet but rarely sleep past 6.30am. The last few weeks i have had what i consider lay ins and not woken until 7.30am but i am now back into the old 6.30am wake ups. It's not that I'm not tired but no matter how exhausted i seem to get i always wake up at 6.30am. Shit, even if i don't get home til 3am, i still wake up at 6.30am, or ridiculouso'clock as i call it. Maybe i need some warm milk at night or some sort of herbal remedy. I have no trouble getting to sleep, i just wake up stupidly early. Oh well.

So we leave Dunedin way (where i lived as a kid strangely) and head north tomorrow. Probably up the coast to check out the Moreaki boulders on our way to Oamaru to go see if we can spot more bloody penguins!

Peace

D

XXXX

Duncan the Penguin, finally.

2009-11-08T16:06:00.000-08:00

Hey hey,

As i write this i am tucked away comfortably in my Dunedin apartment which is where we are staying for a week. It's pretty sweet, especially when you consider that it is free. Well, sort of. Before we left Blighty Kate won the Christmas raffle at her old job and won a £300 holiday voucher which had to be used by October. After much deliberation we decided to use it for a hotel in Queenstown so we had somewhere smart to stay in when we first arrived there and could use it as a base to look for jobs and accommodation. However, we got to Qtown 4 weeks sooner than we had planned because we were worried about missing out on jobs and somewhere to live. So we moved the booking to a hotel in Dunedin which had serviced apartments. It's very similar to the set up that we had in Auckland way back in February. Our own little kitchen so we can continue to eat cheap noodles and tins of budget spaghetti. Ah, life on the road. We have been in Biff for what seems like ages now since we left Qtown but in reality it is only really a week or so. We are still in the deep south of the south island but have managed to escape the wilderness that is the Catlins coast. Man, i have never had to recharge my phone so often. It was constantly searching for a signal which drains the battery really quick.

The scenery was stunning though. It was like driving through some sort of Welsh/Scottish hybrid country with elements of the southwest of England thrown in for good measure. It was also typically Kiwi too with rain forests, mountains and white sandy beaches all within ear shot of each other. Part of the attraction of the Catlins, apart from the scenery, is the wildlife. Rare birds seem to be all over the place. Well, they would be if they weren't so bloody rare! We found a few beaches that are home to native (or Hooker) sea lions too. They are very different to the cute Californian sea lions you see at sea world performing tricks. Nah, these are frickin huge big fuckers that weigh up to 500kg! Yeah, that's half a ton! You'll be just strolling along the beach and there are loads of them just lounging all over the beach like huge big slugs. You're not supposed to get too close to them because they can move pretty quick and their bites contain loads of nasty things like salmonella. You're also not supposed to get between them and the sea, but when they are all over the place it's difficult not to.

The first beach we drove to only had a couple of them and we were a little disappointed but when we got to the Otago peninsula outside of Dunedin we went to an isolated beach at Sandfly bay and there were loads of the fuckers! The walk to the beach was pretty eventful as it was down a big sandy cliff and then down a huge big sand dune. The sea lions were impressive but the real reason we went to that beach in particular was because it is also home to Yellow eyed penguins. Our previous penguin hunt had ended in disaster as not only did we not see any but the long unsealed clifftop road to nugget point had caused Biff to empty the contents of his radiator all over the floor. At first i thought we were screwed as not only were we in the middle of no where, we had no mobile reception. Luckily he had only over heated a bit, so i filled his radiator again and we made it out of there alive. In comparison the 6km round trip to the penguin observation hide was a lot less stressful. Well, except for having to dodge tons and tons of sea lion blubber. We got to the penguin hide at the end of the beach and settled in. It wasn't long before i got very bored and my mind began to wander. I watched the beach less and less and was distracted by a seagull shadow as it ascended a cliff out to our right when suddenly i noticed what i thought was a little penguin statue. It wasn't though, it was in fact a real live penguin! I got over excited and pointed it out to Kate who also freaked out! (she quite likes penguins remember?) We watched as Duncan, as i christened him (we were in Dunedin after all - lots of Scottish here), clumsily made his way down the cliff and to the waters edge. He stopped for a while before what seemed like noticing us and disappearing off into the surf and the numerous floating slugs that were sea lions. We decided to stay a bit longer as we were sure more of his mates would follow but it was so windy and getting dark we decided to head back. More sea lions inhabited the beach on the way back and one juvenile male decided we were on his turf and chased us along the beach! Running in deep sand is torture. You make lots of effort but don't really move anywhere. Lucky for us the sea lion got bored and stopped. When we got to the foot of the cliff we were already knackered. It took us ages to get up the sand dune and the sandy cliff. When we got to the top i asked Kate if that one little penguin was worth it? She said that it wasn't, whilst trying to force back urges to vomit. We were fucked! Like triathlon fucked. We are so unfit. Shit the only exercise i have done these last few months is lifting beers to my lips without spilling a drop.

The weather here is pretty harsh too. The sun has been out but the wind here is so strong. We left Bluff in gale force winds and they have pretty much followed us all the way along the coast. Driving a high top campervan in gale force winds is very very distant from what I'd class as fun.

So we are here in Dunedin for a while. It feels so nice to be back in an apartment again. I can sleep in the nude again and don't have to put my shoes on to go for a wee. I don't know how pikeys do it. Anyway i had better go as Kate is keen to go to the Cadburys factory across the street. I am worried that they will think she is an oompa-loompa and not let her out. When i told her that she got upset. I told her she can't be an oompa-loompa, she can't sing or dance.

Peace

D

XXXX

Back to life as a pikey

2009-11-07T15:52:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my first blog from the road, again. We have finally left Qtown, our home for the last 7 months. To say it was hard to leave is a huge understatement of epic proportions on my part. Kate was a little bothered but I near enough had to be dragged from Qtown kicking and screaming, trying desperately to hang onto anything I could as I was, lamp posts, walls, trees and even old ladies. It was a very emotional last few days for me there for a number of reasons. It is the first real place that has felt like home since we left. Partly because we actually settled into a really nice house and got into the routine of getting jobs, then working those jobs and making friends, then socialising with those friends. It was also because so far, I have not seen a more beautiful place than central Otago (the area around Qtown). Yes white sandy beaches and palm trees are amazing but living with the whitest person in the world kind of hinders your options when you are deciding on settling in a place. If we had chosen a coastal paradise in the sun then Kate would have melted like a vampire! That or I would have to put up with her constant moaning about sunburn and the daily routine of applying suntan lotion for an hour before venturing out into the light. No, we are both not beach people. We do enjoy a occasional trip to the seaside and a walk along the beach at sunset but Qtown was perfect for us as it was in the mountains, had snow, had a huge picturesque lake and lots of places to get drunk in. It was also an amazing place to meet people and make friends. I had always reckoned that it would be great working with people with a common interest (snow) for 5 months and I made lots of friends through work but it seems that the TRUE friendships have blossomed since the season finished. I will miss my friends so much. I know that one of the perils of travelling is that you meet lots of interesting people but due to the nature of not settling anywhere for a great deal of time, you will also lose contact with a lot of interesting people. I found it so easy to meet people and make friends in Qtown. It was like shooting fish in a barrel at times but like I said, the true friends are the ones I will miss. They were the hardest to say goodbye to and they are the ones I will try my hardest to stay in touch with.

After we finally moved out of Greenstone terrace, or Greenstone graveyard as it had become, we moved back into the campsite where we got our first taste of Qtown. It was a weird old feeling being back in the van but it wasn’t long before I was cracking my head of everything again in Biff and swearing loudly at myself. It was awesome though to be in the middle of town again. It meant we had no excuses to not go out and enjoy the last few nights in town. We also got the guys together for one last game of golf out in Frankton. There were 7 of us and I finally managed to get my game together, shooting level par. Not bad when you look at the state of the hire clubs they give you. I was very pleased with myself and thought what a way to sign off from playing golf with the crowd.

We played a few poker games too but to be honest I was just keen to say my goodbyes as I wanted to leave Qtown poker on the high I have felt from winning and playing well in the last few weeks. My last night at Surreal I even decided not to play. I just wanted to hang out with my friends who I had dragged along to Surreal for the cheap booze. So I watched Kate play for a bit before sitting with the guys and messing about. God I am really going to miss that lot. Kate has made friends but she prefers to hang out with my crowd. When I asked her why, she said that my lot are just a lot more fun. It’s true. There is always something going on and we all seem to feed off each other. We have had some pretty crazy nights. For me the best times we had together were a few weeks before the season finished. Everyone was going out. Trying to make the most of the season before most people departed and went their separate ways. We were all still working together though and because the season was now so dead, we were spending lots of time together at work too. I really enjoyed my ride breaks with Dicks, Rich and Kate. I think I rode more of the mountain in those ride breaks than I had in previous weeks. My last ever ride break with those guys is a highlight for me too as we headed off piste and hit a few jumps. Man, I already miss working at Coronet so much too.

What also made it so hard for me to leave is because the guys were all planning their summers together. Looking for jobs and houses. Man, Qtown is going to be so crazy this summer! I am gutted I will miss it and all the new adventures the guys will have. I just have to focus on my own future though and all the adventures I will have and all the new people I will meet. I love you though guys and I am always just a facebook wall away.

So we have left Qtown, and no matter how many times I have suggested heading back to Kate, she is determined we push forward. So after we left we made our way to Te Anau. It is the gateway to the Fjordland National park, which is the largest national park in NZ, but looks a bit like a tiny version of Milton Keynes. Yes, it has the second largest lake in NZ as a backdrop but the buildings on the main street reminded me of the 70’s styling of Milton Keynes. Very odd. We got there and booked ourselves onto a Milford sound cruise. We had one booked for last week from Qtown but went out drinking with the guys the night before and didn’t get in ‘til 3.30am and sort of missed the 6.45am bus. We woke up at 6am, still drunk and decided to sleep instead of get up and endure a 5 hour bus trip with a monster hangover. It was super cheap from Te Anau anyway but still a 2-hour bus ride to get to Milford. The boat trip was good and we got some awesome pics but to be brutally honest, it was no way as big or impressive as the Doubtful sound, which we visited a few months ago. It was smaller and busier than doubtful and we still didn’t see any dolphins or penguins.

From Te Anau we have made our way along the southern scenic highway to Invercargill. Now Invercargill has a few nicknames amongst Kiwis. They call it the "Friendly city" or ‘Vegas’ (as in Las Vegas) but after my first impressions I think they should call it "Invercargill: home of the chav!" Over here they call it being ‘bogan’ but it is all the same thing. Teenage girls dripping in cheap jewellery with fags hanging out of their mouths pushing around prams and guys all wearing cheap track suits sporting hideous mullets! Holy crap it is rough as. Needless to say, the only real reason to go to Invercargill for us was to finally get a burger king! They have been teasing us for months in Qtown with the prospective opening of a BK in Frankton but it has been delayed and before we left it still looked a few weeks away. All season though I have been jones-ing (craving) a burger king. It wasn’t just me either. Billy once contemplated the 6-hour round trip to Invercargill just to get a whopper! For me it has been the constant commercials for the ‘outlaw’ burger. It’s a sort of whopper with bacon and onion rings. Had one today and it did not disappoint. So after a quick burger and a trip to the supermarket to stock up on a few things we decided to head out of town to Bluff. It is the southernmost town in NZ and world-renowned for it’s oysters. We drove to Stirling point near the old lighthouse where they have one of those signposts with loads of points of interest on it like "New York – 15000 km." After a quick look around and a few pictures It suddenly dawned on me that I am at the furthest point away from home I will probably ever be, 18958 km away! That’s over 11780 miles! In a heartbeat I felt probably as lonely and as isolated as I have ever been. Once when I was travelling in Seattle it dawned on me how far away I was from everyone I loved and it nearly made me puke! I guess I have become a bit blasé about just how far away I am from home. Maybe I have just gotten used to the idea but I think it’s more that I try desperately to not think about it. I think that I would spiral into the doldrums if I were to focus on it. In a way it is exciting to be so far away from home but what with all that’s happening there right now, I feel very distant in more ways than one.

Like I said earlier though I just have to focus on all the cool shit we will be getting up to in the coming months. So, Qtown massive, I will miss you guys so much. Dicks I hope you get your life back on track and finally get your revenge fuck. I love you too bro. Don’t tell anyone but I will miss you the most! Rich, I hope you also find some special girl who blows your mind as well as your scrotal zone, and that she isn’t a potential housemate. Anna, I am sorry you never got to shave my head but hopefully a song will suffice. Talis, you are right. You are an immature prick at times but I wouldn’t have it any other way. JC, you are by far the coolest religious leader I have met! Stay away from Jews. Muzal tov bee-atch! Laura, I will miss your muff muffs and your devious poker ways. Carlos, I hope you keep getting fuck drunk, hee hee. Mikey, come on now, enough is enough – livers need love too. Billy, fly! Teebar, I hope I haven’t put you off childbirth forever. Scott, I hope you never have to wake up to Will wanking ever again! Andrew, we need to work on this "no shots!" policy. Shauny, thank you for letting me make a name for myself in poker. K dog, let me know how those paintings of my pics turn out and that your mum will love them. Until next time.

Peace

XXXX

wel

There's a voice, that keeps on calling me............

2009-10-28T13:07:00.000-07:00

I don't really like to start my blog entries on a downer but as i sit here in my empty house, trying desperately to absorb every last bit of the amazing view that has greeted me each morning for the last 7 months, it is difficult to not feel a smidge of melancholy. I move out today. All that is keeping me here is the washing machine (washing our towels and tea towels), the dishwasher (washing the remains of last nights mexican off the crockery) and the prospect of waiting for the guy who is gonna steam clean our carpets this afternoon. Biff is all packed up and ready to go and i can tell he is eager to get to our first stop.............Queenstown. We have decided to stay a few extra days at the campsite in town, the same place we stayed at when we first arrived here back in April. I remember it as if it was yesterday. We arrived to fog and rain but were very excited by the light dusting of snow on the hills and mountains. I remember thinking it looked a lot like Forks from the Twilight books/movies. Today it looks no different. Windy, wet, foggy and still a light dusting of snow on the local peaks. It seems winter is as reluctant to leave Qtown as myself.

So the last few days have been filled with cleaning and packing and swallowing down feelings of sadness. JC and Laura left a few days back to go and work on the Milford track. They are going to be lodge hosts at the first stop on the track, Glade lodge. They are out in the middle of frickin nowhere but i can't imagine any two people better suited for it. JC is able to amuse himself very easily and has taken a lot of new stuff to learn on his guitar which probably means that if/when i see him again he'll be playing like SRV (Stevie Ray Vaughn - my guitar idol). Laura will also busy herself there. They are staying in NZ for another 18 months i think as they have the option to extend their visas to 2 years. I think they are keen to head back to Qtown for the winter season and get jobs on the hill. It will be much easier for them too as the company they work for now own NZski and both of the resorts. I'm super jealous. Not because of the jobs on the track but because they can stay for another season. I will miss them a lot and the last few weeks they have stayed with us have been a riot. We have the same sense of humour and all i have done for weeks is piss myself laughing. Take care guys and hopefully we will see you soon. Mazal Tov!!

It seems the draw of Qtown has gotten it's hooks into others too. Richard actually left a few weeks back to go see the rest of the south Island but has somehow found his way back here and is staying with Dickon and some of his other friends. He said he went to Invercargill and thought it was shit, then had a bit of fun in Dunedin but found that people he met weren't nearly as fun as the people he had left here so decided to come back for a bit. I think he is job hunting for a summer job so when he says a bit, i'm thinking he's here for a while. Dicks has decided to extend his stay too. A few months ago he was desperate to get back on the road but since splitting with his girlfriend he has had a change of heart. It helps that we have all made so many friends here who are staying for the summer and are all currently job/flat hunting. I am again super jealous as the prospect of Qtown in the summer looks amazing. It looks gorgeous with a light dusting of snow but when the sun comes out and makes the lake twinkle it is truly a spectacular setting. Gorse has started to bloom and the hill sides are now doused in a myriad of green and yellow. Summer here is going to be insane.

Shame i will miss it but i am trying hard to focus on the next few months for me and trying to get my head around being back on the road again. The novelty wore off pretty quick last time and the thought of being back in a confined space for prolonged periods and constantly twatting my head is also getting me down. But to be fair, there are much worse places in the world to be in a little white box. I will again see the ocean, beaches and the stunning landscapes that NZ seems to have around every new turn. Not bad really.

Apart from packing and cleaning and a lot of swearing, i have also managed to get out and about this last week. After i cut my last blog entry short i headed into town and met up with Dicks and Rich (or the 3 must-get-beers as i have nicknamed us) to catch some of the last few gigs of the Jazz festival. The weather wasn't as good as i had hoped but we still sat on the village green listening to people warble away. We grabbed a bite to eat but by 2.30pm the pull of alcohol was tempting us too much. Rich bailed to the internet cafe so me, Dicks, JC and Laura went and got a box of beers. As we drunk them a few more of our regular crowd filtered up and before we knew it there were 9 of us on the lash in the sunshine. We then headed into what has become our regular haunt, Brazz. For the last few months we have been there pretty much every Sunday. I think it might have something to do with the $3.50 beers. After a few in Brazz we headed over to another regular haunt, Montys, to go see a blues guitarist we had seen a few nights before called MoJo Webb. He is an Aussie guy but man can he play the blues (check out his website). After more booze and a lot of dancing i had to call it a night as my body was starting to reject alcohol and i was way too drunk to continue. Kate had joined us by now so she gladly escorted me home for some much needed sleep and water.

The next morning i had MoJo Webb tunes stuck in my head all day. When they did finally abate, JC would start whistling them and they'd be straight back in there again. Not such a bad thing as he was awesome but it does get a bit annoying.

So, that is it for my little adventure at Greenstone Terrace. Tonight i sleep under the stars again (which i can see through Biffs roof vents). Not sure i will Blog again before i leave town but we are finally going to Milford Sound tomorrow and have a few leaving parties to attend before we head off on Sunday. So i will catch up with you guys soon.

Peace

D

XXXX

Jazz................nice.

2009-10-24T14:40:00.000-07:00

Wassup y'all? It is my penultimate week in Qtown! Really difficult to not feel sad but we are definitely going out with a big ass bang. This week has been another eventful one. More beer and poker. I failed to three-peat my win at Rattlesnake this week but did finish 2nd at Surreal. I was doing quite well there and when i got to final table i was in a pretty good position. I then preceded to knock out near enough every player, including a monumental call against the guy with all the chips. He bet hard at the pot but i just had this feeling that he was bluffing. It put me all in but i just had this feeling. He was bluffing and my pair of 7s held up and i ended up doubling up my stack and winning around 150k. It gave me a massive stack of chips so when i got to heads up with my housemate JC i was in a very strong position. It was late though and both Kate and Laura had to get up for work in the morning so i suggested that we just split the 1st and 2nd place bar tab and go home. JC was having none of it and wanted to beat me fair and square. I won't say i folded a lot of hands but i just wanted to go home too so i also called alot of crap cards and before long he had all my chips and had won. I was stoked for him as it was his last week at Surreal and he had never won there before. I was happy to get a bar tab again but even more happier that i could go home and go to bed.

A lot of our week has revolved around the Jazz festival, or Jizz fest as i have been calling it, that's in town this week. It's been really cool with loads of free gigs around town and a little outdoor stage set up in the middle of town straddling the stream. We went to an outdoor gig the other day and ended up sitting in the sun with a ton of beers with Dicks and JC. We then had a few games of pool before going to another jazz gig at one of the posh hotels down by the lake. We were quite well oiled by now and JC was politely asked to leave the restaurant and go back to the lobby where we were sitting because he "just wanted to dance." We ended up getting extremely hammered but just couldn't help tapping our feet and clicking our fingers all night to all the sweet jizz, sorry jazz.

Highlight of the week was going funyaking. Although funyaking sounds like a pleasurable vomit (fun - yaking) it is far from it. Kate has worked for Dart river jets now for 7 months and apart from a free jet boat ride when she started we haven't done any of the free trips they offer but as the weather is getting warmer we decided to try our luck and booked on to go funyaking. Funyaking is like kayaking but you use these huge big orange inflatable dingys. We got jet boated up the dart river on what was probably the warmest and sunniest day we have had in ages. The jet boat dropped us off at the start of the funyak trip and we got busy inflating the huge dingy/kayak hybrids. We then had to listen to our guide trying to explain to the rest of the group how to paddle and steer the things. He then came over to us and asked if we wanted to try and go in the rockburn chasm. The rockburn is this stunning side chasm that branches off the dart river and forms this amazing secluded lagoon. It is a bit tricky to get into when the water levels are low but he was willing to try if he thought the group were competent. We agreed and watched as we all hopped in our funyaks for a quick little paddle. Within seconds we knew that the rockburn was out of the question as the couple from Singapore had either not listened to a word the guide had said or were just completely uncoordinated. They sat in there funyak doing everything wrong and were just spinning out of control in the middle of the river. Our guide eventually had to tie their boat to his own and ferry them down the river. I was a bit gutted that we never got the chance as everyone else seemed to be pretty competent, oh well.

Kate had feared that she would get special treatment from the jet boat drivers once we got into our funyaks. By special treatment i mean that they would try their hardest to flip us out of our boat. She was right. Within a few minutes of getting into our boat, one of the jet boats came flying towards us, did a spin so its back jet was pointing right at us and then full throttled it. We got soaked but the blast from the jet washed the girls in the boat next to us back up onto the shore! It was hilarious and we then had to explain to the group that Kate worked for the company and that she was going to be targeted all day. We were then of course treated like lepers and no one dared get within 10 feet of our boot. Our guide tried to set us up again a bit further down the river. I helped by grounding us on some shallow rocks and jumping out of the boat leaving Kate as a sitting duck for the jet boat. It came flying around the corner and true to form, turned away from her at the last minute sending a huge wave over the boat and dousing her in icy cold glacial water. Hee hee. She wasn't that soaked and took it all in good spirit.

Apart from the occasional soaking from jet boats and the bastard sand flies, the day was amazingly relaxing. The fast moving current pretty much sweeps you along and all i had to do was keep the boat facing down stream. I often spun it so we could see the amazing views of the mountains behind us too. It was truly beautiful and i could easily see why it has been voted one of NZs best trips on a number of occasions. At one point i pretty much reclined into a semi recumbent position, tilted my hat forward, gazed upward and chilled. It was pure unadulterated bliss. We stopped for a huge lunch and a wander through the woods before hopping back into the funyaks and negotiating the remaining stretch of river. When we got back to Glenorchy we stopped for a much needed beer before heading home for an early night. It was an amazing day and some awesome pics will follow on facebook i imagine.

Right, have to cut this entry short as more jazz and beers in the park are beckoning me away. I will try and post some more in the next few days.

Peace

D

XXXX

Tramping it up a little

2009-10-17T12:38:00.000-07:00

I kind of thought that as the season has finished and a lot of my friends have left Qtown that it would all settle down now and i could save myself a bit of money. How wrong i was. One of the appeals of Qtown over say, Wanaka was that it has more of an atmosphere, more of a vibrant scene. It appears that it also doesn't take much to twist my arm at the moment to do anything. Fair enough really as i am not working anymore and my routine has fallen back into pretty much what is was before i got my job at Coronet Peak. I get up, i go online, i make dinner, i go to bed. Not exactly hectic. So when the offer of interaction and socialising has cropped up over the last week i have relished it and thrown myself toward it. Gotta make the most of my last few weeks in Qtown after all. Now it has never taken a lot of persuassion to get me to play poker, especially since i have re-found my passion for it. Dicks has also really gotten into it over the past few weeks too. And to think, i had to near beg him to come and play a game with me a month ago. Kate is also quite partial to a game, as you may well know, so it is easy for me to convince her to come out too. Before you know it you are playing in nearly all the games Qtown has to offer (4 - not including the casino). My current form continued as i came 4th at Frankton (with Kate coming 3rd - her best performance in ages) and again smashing everybody to win back to back weeks at Rattlesnake. My win at Rattles was probably the highlight of my short poker career. Mainly because at one point on the final table i had only 6 chips left and the other guy had all the rest. I think it worked out i had$30,000 and he had around $350,000! There is an old saying in poker though that to win a game all you need is a chip and a chance. I proved it that night. The guy i beat works in a casino and he bullied us all and talked so much trash it made a lot of people lose their cool and play tilt (tilt means you play a bit crazy). I on the other hand ignored his bullshit and managed to out play his ass. From 30,000 to all the chips and victory in about 10 hands! The guy didn't know what hit him. Shaun, who runs the tournaments told the guy to not have any hard feelings as he had just been beat by one of Qtowns finest, a poker superstar (his words not mine). Made my head swell somewhat but i felt amazing as we left. It was such a good way to win. The guy i beat had bullied and trash talked people all night long and i felt i gave him his come uppance. I joked with Shaun that after that performance i was going to change my name to "Amarillo-not-so-slim" after the legendary poker player "Amarillo slim." So, another $50 bar tab now sits snuggly in my wallet which means i have to do it all over again next Tuesday. I don't really care if i win another tournament in my life because beating that bully was the sweetest victory i will probably ever have (pats own back and imagines everyone hoisting me onto their shoulders and parading me through the school canteen to cheers as the local bully cowers under a table in the corner).

It hasn't all been beer and poker this week though my friends. I went and played golf again. This time with Billy, Talis and one of the doctors from the hill. We had much more of a laugh this time as the weather was a lot nicer. I hadn't realised just how competitive Billy actually was. I watched him smack balls on the driving range before we played and could see him watching all the competition and commenting on how he was going to beat us. Maybe he has a slight case of little man syndrome sometimes but after the first few holes it was all over really. I played really really badly but still managed to whoop them all. I do have the distinct advantage of all those years of playing at quite a high level though. It was good fun though and a welcome change to be outside in the sunlight.

On Kates days off this week we decided to go tramping. Remember, tramping is what the Kiwis call hiking. It is not when you grow a beard, sleep with a cardboard duvet in a shopping trolley under a bridge drinking your own urine whilst shouting at pigeons (as fun as that may sound). So i dusted off the old hiking boots and Kate led me out to the Glenorchy road. On her commute to work she is driven along the Glenorchy road to er, Glenorchy, of course. It is a stunning road that skirts the lake and gives you amazing views of the Mt Aspiring national park. Basically it showcases the proper mountains in the area. Don't get me wrong, the Remarkables aren't called that to be facetious, but they can't hold a candle to Mt Earnslaw and the huge snow capped peaks in Mt Aspring national park. Kate reckoned we should do this hike from 7 mile delta all the way to Bobs cove, which should have been about 3-4 hours return. I thought she was being a bit adventurous on our first hike in months but let her lead me off into the bush. After no more than 50 metres she decided that the descent down the cliffs was too steep and that we should head back to Biff. I thought it wasn't too bad but she was worried more about the ascent on the way back. I relented and we headed back to Biff and drove a bit further down the road to Bobs cove. We parked up and Kate decided we would do the hike from there to 12 mile delta which was gonna be around 2 hours. I agreed but before we could set off she decided we were in the wrong spot and that she didn't want to do the hike. Now by this time i was getting a little frustrated and had to suppress my urges to hold her face down in the lake whilst repeatedly hitting the back of her head with a rock! I enhanced my calm and we got back into Biff and headed further down the coast to 12 mile delta. We headed off the road and got to the car park at 12 mile delta but this time we didn't even get out of the van as Kate vetoed it for some other reason. My frustration began to bubble over again. She was just lucky i didn't have any sharp, or in fact blunt instruments in the front seat. Not for her, but for ending my own existence!! We then decided we would continue up the road to Kinloch and to the start of the Routeburn track. The Routeburn and Milford tracks are considered some of the most amazing walks in the world, not just NZ. They are 4-5 day hikes but you can walk the track for a little bit and then head back. So we eventually found our way to the start of the track but at the last minute decided to veer off and in fact walk the Sylvan lake track. So what had started the day as a 3-4 hour steep hike in fact ended up as a 1.5 hours gentle stroll through the forest to Lake Sylvan. It was stunning though to be fair. They filmed a lot of the lord of the rings films in the local forests so there was a real middle earth feel to it. If you have seen the movies i think they filmed Fangorn forest and the bit with the Ents there. The lake was extremely secluded and was very pretty too. We hung out on one of it's beaches and ate home made cookies in the sunshine before heading back to Biff. When we got to him Kate reckoned we should try driving to the Rees valley which was sort of on the way home and was supposed to be stunnning too. So we headed out toward it but stopped on the road to it when we were faced with a sign which read "Backcountry road: beware of fjords and deep trenches." Now Biff doesn't really have 'fjords' and 'deep trenches' in his vocabulary but we pushed on to check it out. After about 10km we rounded a corner and were greeted with a small fjord bisecting the road. I got out to inspect it and reckoned we could get through it but after some thought and the realisation that we were 15km from the nearest town and had no reception on our phones, we decided against it and turned back.

It was a nice introduction back into tramping so the next day we decided to go again. JC and Laura lent us their Wakatipu walks guide and after some deliberation we decided to do a walk out in Arrowtown called "Tobins track." At first i was surprised Kate was up for it as it was described as a continuous gradual climb up to around 900 metres. Even when we got to the bottom of the track and started climbing, i was still unsure that Kate had any idea what she had let herself in for. We eventually made it to the top and were greeted by stunning views of Arrowtown, the wakatipu basin and most importantly, a bench. Kate, extremely red at this point and looking a little like Hellboy, collapsed on to the bench and we rested for a while before heading back down and going home.

In all it was a pretty nice week. I was a little bit disappointed that we didn't road trip it to Mt Hutt but petrol and hotels and money worries sort of killed the buzz. So, the skis have been waxed and stored away in Biff until February when we will get them out again for Salt lake city and it's massive amount of ski resorts. This week i plan to just chill out again until Kate has her days off work. She is trying to make the most of her frontline staff discounts and book us on a couple of trips. Maybe fun-yaking (which is inflatable kayaking) and a trip to the Milford sound. One of the helicopter companies told Kate she can get a free heli-trip to Milford and that i'll get 50% off too. Sounds gnarly but even with 50% off it'll still cost about $200-400. Still, how many times in your life are you given the opportunity to be helicoptered into one of the most beautiful places on earth? We shall see.

So guys, i will let you know how these last few weeks in Qtown go.

Peace

D

XXXX

That's really all folks.............

2009-10-11T12:40:00.000-07:00

So, now the season is really over................maybe. The Remarks closed yesterday so that is that for skiing in Qtown. Except, Mt Hutt is still open and only 5 hours drive away!! I'm thinking road trip. Maybe. Already have Talis (the dude from dodgeball) and the German (ski instructor from the Remarks - not sure of her real name) interested so might have to go on an epic road trip to Methven and ski Mt Hutt. Especially since they are still open and have had 50cms of snow this week!! Sick!

So the Remarks closed yesterday. I skied it for the last 2 days and had such a contrast in my riding. On Saturday i skied like a total gimp. My skis just weren't going where i told them to and i fell over all the time. I hit this ledge which i have hit all season and landed all season, but for some reason on Saturday i fell over on it. At first i blamed the snow but after a while i started to doubt my skis. I met up with the rentals crowd and started to ride the baby park they have there. I had no confidence so apart from the gay box and a few little jumps i avoided everything. I left the Remarks thoroughly disappointed and wondered if i should just hang my skis up for the season. It didn't help that Talis and the German took me on this massive hike to hit these massive chutes and half way up i had an asthma attack and had to come down. I imagine it's what skiing with my sister Kes is like, if she ever skis. I panicked a wee bit as haven't had an asthma attack in years and my inhaler was down the mountain. Ski patrol were on me like a rash and offered to ski me down but i was able to make it to the bottom in one piece. I was disappointed though as the chutes (a run called escalator) were supposed to be super steep and gnarly, just the way i like it. So i got down from the Remarks in a foul mood and wasn't going to go up yesterday for the last day of the season. I relented though and went up, couldn't end the season on a sour note eh? I got a lift from Billy so had him and the rentals crew with me all day. I checked my skis out too and found that one of the bindings had worked its way backward so i had no forward pressure (very technical). It meant it would randomly pop itself off my foot for no reason. So i adjusted that and tightened up my DINS (more technical shit) and was good to go again. I took my helmet too so had no excuses for avoiding anything in the park. Well, apart from the fact that big fat dudes and huge jumps don't really go well together. I hit a few boxes and threw myself off of some little jumps before eyeing up the huge jump at the bottom of the park. I have thought about hitting it all season but have pussied out. It is probably smaller than the one big jump we had at Coronet earlier in the season which i hit loads but at Remarks there is always an audience as it is under the chairlift. I avoided it for most of the day but in the afternoon i had a "fuck it-all in" moment and went for it. Now as i have mentioned, fat dudes and big jumps just don't mix. I had way too much speed when i hit it and nearly cleared the whole thing and landed on the flat (which is how you break your legs!!). Managed to save it and land but the shock of 100kgs of lard hitting the ground caused me to fall as i rode away. All very gay but i was super stoked that i hit it. It didn't matter whether i rode away clean or landed in a twisted heap, i did it and i didn't hurt myself. YAY!!

Filled with mucho confidence we then decided to go hiking. Now fat guys and hiking also don't mix! (shit, skiing and being over weight is proper hazardous!) After my asthma attack the previous day i was sceptical i would even make it to the top of the 2 hikes we attempted. I had my inhaler and strapped my skis to my rucksack so i was much better prepared. Hiking in ski boots sucks sweaty balls though!! It was super hard work but well worth the effort. I got to the top of the viewpoint at Remarks and was greeted by the most amazing view. I could see Qtown and lake Wakatipu below me and the southern alps stretching off into the distance. After i finally got my breath back (the air is much thinner at the top of a mountain remember) i was in total awe. It was stunning. It helped that the weather was a total bluebird (which means amazing). What sucked though was that i forgot my camera! So there i was, literally sitting on top of the world with the most amazing view, beer in hand and no frickin camera. Oh well. I got the guys to take a pic of me just to prove i was there though. Hopefully they will post it on Facebook or somethin. After a while for us all to recover we skied down this crazy steep bit and went for lunch.

After lunch the guys started talking about hiking up the other side of the mountain to Escalator, the run where i nearly died from an asthma attack! I decided i would go for it. So after hiking up this massive mountain, in ski boots, for what seemed like forever we made it to the top and had a much needed beer. The escalator run lay before us and it was insanely steep with loads of jagged rocks everywhere. Now, i have skied some pretty gnarly runs before (delirium dive in Banff is crazy!) but this totally took the biscuit. It was not only steep but stupidly narrow too. It was shaded as well so had a really firm crust to the snow. Not good when you really really don't want to fall. Falling pretty much ensures you are fucked as it was so steep there was no way of stopping yourself from crashing into the jagged rocks. We started the run and it wasn't long before i was in the zone! You have to really jump turn on the really steep stuff but after a few turns, and the huge fricking hike, my legs gave up and i stacked it. I slid for about 20 metres but managed to rescue myself and get back up onto my skis before i hit a huge rock. We all stopped and composed ourselves. I think i reminded the guys just how dangerous the run was. It didn't help that it kept avalanching too. Just little ones but enough to hurt when it hit you when you stopped. The snow was hard and crusty remember. We traversed down before we hit this really narrow neck between 2 cliffs. The German just fucking straight lined it (the crazy bitch) but the rest of us had to side slip it, which caused more avalanches. We got past it though and then gunned it outta there. The German was waiting for us on a small flat ridge and as i caught up with her, my legs gave in again and i tumbled into her. It was funny. I never knew Germans actually had a sense of humour. At first i thought she was gonna freak out and invade Poland or something but she was Uber cool about it. We skied back to the main runs and that was it. I was super tired but was a little gutted when i realised the lifts had stopped. I was however super stoked that i did the hikes and did some crazy gnarly runs, oh and that i avoided breaking my neck. Always a bonus.

Other than an epic final day at the Remarks my week has been pretty timid. Have tried to cut down on my drinking as it was draining the bank account quicker than i can drain a Jager-bomb (or Jager-ma-bomb as i am trying to get the world to say - you have to say it like Homer says "saxa-ma-phone" in the Simpsons though). I did however play poker a few times this week. I did well too. It was also the first night back for the old Rattlesnake tournament that me and Kate used to play. It was how we first got into poker here in NZ so i got all nostalgic when we got there. It was really weird being back there. The barmaid Rachel saw us and came and gave us huge hugs, and cheap beer too. It feels like i have gone full circle in that i started off my season playing poker at Rattlesnake and i am now gonna end it there, it feels right. I was gutted when it got shut down because it was so much fun and we made so many friends through it, but it's back baby! I of course finally found an incentive to play proper poker again and smashed everybody! It was my first win in ages as i have just not been too bothered about poker recently. I have fallen back in love with it recently and have put in some more consistent performances but it's not like the olden days were i made something stupid like 25 final tables in a row! I have this huge rep in Qtown poker circles now but for the last month or so i have preferred to go out with friends instead of playing cards. My new found enthusiasm though will hopefully let me leave Qtown on a poker high. $50 bar tabs are much more of an incentive too now that i am not working!

So no other dramas here really. I of course will endeavour to let you know how these last few weeks in Qtown go. Now then, what was i thinking about..................Oh yeah, ROAD TRIP!!!

Peace

D

XXXX

That's all folks..............

2009-10-07T21:59:00.000-07:00

Again, sorry to the 2 people who actually read this blog for my delay with this post.
So, it's all over. Coronet Peak has closed for the 2009 season. What a last few days though. I mentioned in my earlier post that the season wasn't going without a fight but this week it went crazy. Like a heavyweight slumped against the ropes almost about to get knocked out the season suddenly sprung back to life and hit the close date with a left hook and won the world title. What I'm trying to say is that 2 days before we closed we got hit by a massive winter blast which dumped 25cm (yes, 25cm!!) of awesome dry white powder on us. On Thursday i worked as a lifty and was trudging through knee deep wet slush but on Friday i was trudging through knee deep amazing snow! What a difference a day makes. It was epic!! So cool being a lifty on a powder day too as all i did was ski my ass off with the other lifties. It was so much fun. The last week at work has been a sombre affair. I did 4 shifts as a lifty as Toshi decided to cut my hours to just 8! So lifts embraced me and i was a proper lifty for the week. Actually running the lifts too. A lot of responsibility but so much fun. I got to shout abuse at stupid Australians who were too gormless to realise that a massive chairlift was about to scoop them off. They don't have a clue i swear to god. It almost made up for being told how their coins are different to NZ coins about a hundred times a day for the last few months. Almost, but not quite. I did take out my frustration on a few unsuspecting clients though by hurling snowballs at them. Managed to hit a few perfect shots too. I have discovered that the perfect snowball shot is not a hit to the face or anything but a shot to the back of the head. It is relatively safe, it looks hilarious and they get snow all down the inside of their jacket. Perfect shots are the way forward.

My shift in the shop last week was cool as i took in my guitar. It has been super quiet and in a drunken conversation earlier in the week i had promised Dicks i would bring it in as he hasn't played guitar for 18 months. We had an awesome little jam session. At the end of the day there was me, Dicks, Richard and Gemma all sitting on the counter singing "your beautiful" by James Blunt. We kept stopping for the really high pitched chorus so i said i was gonna play it one more time and we all had to go for it. So there we were singing our heads off but all stopped again at the high pitched bit. Except Richard who gave it all he had. Eyes closed, fist clenched in a boy band style, looking to the heavens. What he hadn't realised was that Dicks was holding his radio to Richards mouth and had just broadcast him singing across the whole mountain!! I nearly wet myself when i realised what he had done. My next day as a lifty a few of them were talking about some dude warbling over the radio the day before so i told them the story and they thought it was pretty funny too. Sorry Rich.

After work we all went into town for a few drinks with the rental crew. I still had my guitar with me and we all ended up serenading the staff in KFC. We were a wee bit tipsy but they seemed to enjoy our rendition of "your beautiful." Didn't give us any free chicken though the tight bastards. To be fair we probably cleared out the restaurant. Oops.
So the last week has been filled with more merriment. I have started to fall back in love with poker again so we played a few times last week. It's amazing how much better i do when i am enthusiastic. I got 4th the other night which i was well happy with. We then went to Frankton for a tournament that we haven't been to before. I imagine we will go again as my housemate Laura smashed everyone and won her first ever tournament. She played awesome and took out some big names along the way, including me! Revenge will be sweet and swift though. Ba hahahahahahahahah! (Evil cackle)

We also hit the links this week. Yes, actually played golf! Kate, me, JC, Laura and Dicks all bowled down to the little nine hole course in Frankton. Not really what i'd call a proper course but still better than Northolt. We hired some clubs (2 sets between 5 of us) and went round in a big 5-ball. Totally illegal in the UK but here they didn't seem to mind as long as we didn't hold up play. Laura had never played before and JC had only been to pitch and putt so i thought it would be a nightmare but it was really fun. I played OK on the front nine and was 6 over. Not bad considering i triple bogeyed the 2nd hole. The guys struggled a little and after nine i thought we were pretty much done but to my suprise they wanted to go around again. The pro in the shop had told us we could do 9 or 18 holes for the same price so we did the full compliment. The back 9 was brutal though as the sun dipped behind the hills and the wind began to howl. It was freezing by the time we finished and the beer in the pub after was greatly needed. It was a hoot though and definately worth doing again in the next few weeks. Seems a few of the guys from work are keen to join us next time. Maybe we'll make up a 12-ball or something. They don't seem to mind.

Sorry, so yeah yesterday was the final day. There was a summer theme so we all wore shorts and flip flops or hula skirts. A few girls wore bikinis over their uniforms, which i liked a lot. I worked in the shop but managed to get out for a 2 hour ride break. Told Billy i was nipping out for a bit and just disappeared. He has done it to me all season so i don't feel bad. It was awesome. At one point there were about 20 of us. All staff on our ride breaks. We went to the greengates area of the hill and ripped it to shreds! By the time we got to the bottom there were only 5 of us. We seemed to lose most of the guys who i imagine went over to the exchange, which is a really sweet bit of the mountain. Our other housemate JC met up with us and we went back up. I got a bit emotional on the lift up as it dawned on me that these were going to be my last few runs at Coronet. I wasn't crying or anything but i had a moment. When we got off the lift JC and I led the less experienced guys through a sweet powder run. A few of them loved it but Gemma hated it. She hasn't really skied off piste before. I gave her lots of encouragement and she did really well but in the end i had to lead her back to the groomed run. When i got there i saw this massive drop off into what looked like a sweet bowl. As it was the last few of the season and i wasn't bothered about breaking my leg i decided i would jump of it. I nailed the landing and was super stoked! I met back up with the guys and told them about the drop. JC wanted to hit it with me so on the next run i led him to it. The other guys just watched as i launched myself off it. It was probably the biggest air i have gotten. I was so happy. Nailed the landing again and rode away clean. Actually felt like a pro!! Ah yeah! I then pretty much straight lined it down. I over took everyone in sight, even one of the ski patrol, and those guys fooking gun it! I stopped at another little lip and waited for the guys to catch me up. I surveyed the mountain from my little vantage point and let it all sink in. When the guys caught me up i launched myself off the ledge and rode in. As last runs go it was amazing. I walked in, dumped my skis and got changed. I then reflected on the season all afternoon in the shop. Billy finished on a half day so i was in the store all by myself. A few of the guys from all over the resort came in to see me and gave me a few sneaky shots of vodka but mostly i just chilled. When we closed we all headed up to the deck for a BBQ and free booze. It was so much fun. Our boss congratulated us all on the best season they had ever had (i think it had a lot to do with us in the shop selling over 500k! - mainly Bolle, LOL!). We all danced and drunk then some dude decided we should all race down the hill on trays so most of F&B climbed up the hill a little and slid down on their little trays. A few guys stacked it big time (Richard included) and suddenly realised that sledding in shorts and flip flops is never really a good idea! After we drunk the bar dry we all headed into town for a proper big piss up. It was awesome. I felt i had united a lot of the mountain as lifts, rentals and some of F&B were with my usual little posse. One of the lifties asked me if i could be her midwife too which for me is the ultimate compliment. I told her to fuck off!

No i should of for comedy value but it was such a sweet thing to say. The team leader of lifts also asked me if i wanted to be a lifty next year. I said if i was in NZ I'd be there. I also got told that i was an amazing skier by one of the patrol. I always thought i was OK but for them to say that, again i was emotional. I have worked so hard on my skiing this season and it looks to have paid off. When i mentioned it to a few of the guys they all agreed. Spence from Lifts said he thought i was awesome which made my head swell even more. I think a lot of it has stemmed from the last few days of really good snow. I have gone from some anonymous guy only known to a few who hides out in the shop all day to a recognisable bloke who now everyone knows. They have seen me flying around the hill all season but haven't known who i am, until now. With the snow being so good and it being the end of a long season i have pretty much said "fuck it!" and gone for everything i have seen. I am proud that i have. Carpe Diem and all that (nods towards heaven).

Last night was also Richards last real chance of getting his ESPB (End of season panic bonk). Rich believes that as the season comes to a close people will panic and all start shagging each other. People will either lose their inhibition, or realise they have no more chances to pull the cute guy from work and just go for it. He is a really nice and witty guy but for some reason he has not had much luck with the ladies. Everyone in Q town is boning each other but sadly Rich has missed out. He is quite a camp guy (being the youngest male and having 4 older sisters, maybe?) to be fair but he is lovely. I think he is one of those guys who is forever in the 'friend zone' though. Me, Gemma and Dicks have all tried unsuccessfully to be his wing men/women but all we managed to get was Jo (who is smoking hot btw!) from rentals to sit on his lap for a picture. Pretty lame effort really. I guess there is still a little bit of the season left (Remarks is open for another week) and i imagine we will hit the town a few more times so never say die Rich.

So, i have a few more shifts in the shop. Ironic that this week I'll be working more in the shop than i have for the last few weeks and we have closed already. We have to pack up the store, stock take and all that which will be super dull but it is much needed beer money. After that i intend to go hit the Remarks for their last few days. Hopefully the warm weather will stay away for a little bit longer so the 30cms of snow they have had will stick around. I have one more challenge left for season. One of the parks at Remarks is called the stash and it has a hut which you can ride up to, jump onto then get a massive air off. It looks gnarly. JC broke himself on it a few weeks back which has scared me off a little bit but maybe on the final day i might (just might) do it. Gulp

So this week will be full of meaningful reflection and self analysis on how the season has been. Nah, we'll just get pissed i reckon. Rich still has to get his ESPB after all.

Peace

D

XXXX

The season is refusing to go down without a fight!

2009-09-24T20:46:00.000-07:00

Sorry if my last blog entry was a wee bit emotional. It's a horrible time when someone dies but at the moment i am also struggling getting my head around the fact that the season is coming to a close. Not without a fight though. The weather has taken to winter again and the hills are once again covered in awesome dry powdery snow. I worked as a lifty again the other day and spent most of the day on my skis. As I'm only helping out I'm not given too much responsibility so can nip off for a few runs every now and then. What a difference in the snow. We've had warm, wet slushy snow for the last few weeks which I'm not a great fan of but this new dry snow is awesome. Like it was a few months ago.

This week has been filled with lots of goodbyes, not just to my Grandad but to a lot of folk on the hill. It seems that so many people are slipping away from Queenstown. Off to pastures new. Wow, next week will be the hardest as the mountain finally gets round to closing. We close on the 4th of October but there is talk of trying to stay open a little longer. Doubt it though. The mountain is too quiet. It'll be good for me as it means more money, more skiing and hopefully more time with my friends. We shall see. We've had our end of season ball. It was at one of the fancy hotels in town and had a 'ties and tiaras' theme. I went in jeans and a t-shirt with the tie i made out of a bin bag that i used to have for dodgeball, naturally. I was amazed at how many people smartened up. I hardly recognised a lot of staff. To be fair we are all scruffy and live in our beanies so to see some of the girls in fancy ball gowns was really cool. We had a live band and i got my groove on (but only after a lot of beer!). They had a big slide show with pictures of the staff from both CP and the Remarks. I was in one pic (with a metal wire through my nose which i had forgotten got photographed) which got a few laughs but i was most proudest that HOD, my little cardboard robot was also in it too! It seems he has become somewhat of a celebrity on the hill. I added to my collection of cardboard things by making a cardboard Kea the other day too. It is similar to the Kea that is the logo for the stash terrain park at the Remarks, except mine has a real gold necklace. Well cool.

After the ball we then went to the after-party at Revolver, which is one of the best bars in town (nothing to do with them putting me in a snowboard DVD with Shaun White of course). After way more beer and dancing i staggered home. I had the following day off work and it wasn't long before i was getting text abuse from both Billy and Tee in the shop. They were very hungover and were annoyed at me for keeping them out late. Light weights!

I also had my last jug night of the season (i think) last night so again had to get drunk. As our department is stupidly small we started off with a few drinks in the Pig and Whistle, then crashed the rentals jug night, which was later crashed by the food and beverage dept too. Carnage ensued as the pub were doing $7 jugs of beer and $6 Jager-bombs. Needless to say i don't recall much of the evening but I'm sure i had a very good time. A while back I remember hearing a rumour about a guy who got fired from work because he was caught wanking on the staff bus. I thought it to be some sort of urban myth but found out that apparently it was actually true and the guy had been working in rentals! He was a weird guy anyway called Will. He had the most unusual social skills. Well, wanking in public kinda confirms that i guess. The rentals guys also told me that he also got caught wanking in an Internet cafe in town and by his room mate one morning. Sounds like the guy has serious problems. What a wanker!

The assassination game is still running. They are down to the final two though. One is Anna who is the defending champion from rentals, and the other is Camilla who is this tiny little thing from F&B. Amazing how good girls are at this game eh? I got killed spectacularly but also controversially. Dicks invited me to the pub the other day for a few after work drinks. I agreed not knowing that he was my assassinator and that I was walking head first into a trap. But then Dicks got killed at work so had to give his target (me) to his killer. When he got to the pub i was relaxed as i knew he had been killed and was out of the game. What i didn't know was that he texted my assassinator and told them i was in the pub and ripe for the killing. Needless to say i was ambushed and got killed. But after discussion with out game coordinator, "M" my kill was deemed illegal as there had been co-operation between someone who was already out of the game. Apparently you can't get together and plan hits. I was fine with it all though and was actually glad to be out of the game. Dicks did feel bad, but only for about a minute.

Funniest moment of the week this week has to be was when i was working in the shop with Match. He's Dickons house mate and works mostly at the shop at the Remarks. We were talking about our cameras and showing each other some of our snaps. I have hundreds which i need to upload to Facebook at some point by the way. Toshi was also eaves dropping on our conversation. So i was looking through some of my snaps when i came across an awesome pic of Dicks playing Frisbee golf from the week before. I said to Match "Hey I've a great picture of Dicks on here." He was serving a customer but said "Oh cool, I'll have a look at that in a minute." Toshi, who was still listening to us then freaked out and said he thought it was very inappropriate for us to be looking at pictures of Dicks in the shop, especially in front of customers. It took a while for the penny to drop before i realised he thought we meant penis's and not our friend Dickon, who we call Dicks. I back tracked well and managed to explain to the customers that our friend is called Dicks and that were weren't actually looking at willies. They saw the funny side of it, as did Tosh when we explained ourselves. Oops.

So, another week has gone past. The sword of Damocles that is the end of the season is dangling precariously above me. I see it and feels it's presence. So many of my friends are looking forward to the end of the season. They are either fed up with it all now or are looking forward to their summer jobs or their onward travels. I should be too but as i have said before, i have met some truly amazing people here and i will feel sad when they go. I am super happy that we decided to stay an extra few weeks in Qtown and i know i should also be ecstatic about my onward plans but it is all closing in. This whole sabbatical is coming to an end. I still have until April before i set foot on Englands shores but i am just so happy right now. I don't want it to ever end. I am at a stage in my life where for the first time in a long time i never want the days to finish. I don't even hate working either. I got to a stage back home where every perspective shift filled me with doom. I am still amped about working. I love it. Maybe just because it is still so new and different but it seems that just as i am truly loving it, it is being taken away. Maybe for good. I sure hope not. HUGE DRAMATIC SIGH.

Anyway dudes, I'm off to go look at more pictures of Dicks.

Peace

D

XXXX

RIP Big guy

2009-09-18T14:29:00.000-07:00

Kinda sad day really. Found out that my grandad passed away last night. Not Bumps (thank god!) but my mums real dad. A man i only met a few times but also one of the nicest guys. I don't know all the details of how he died or even how he lived, which pains me. It's such a shame i never took it upon myself to learn more about him. What pains me the most is how sad my mum must be. She had grown really close to her dad ever since they were reunited a few years back. Mum, i guess it was at least lucky that you found your dad and got to spend time with him and those memories you created will stay with you forever. I hope you are OK and that you can be strong for Matt, Myles, Garry and Liz. I wish i was home to be able to give you hugs and be your crutch to lean on. I've been told that i make a good crutch. Shame I'm not there for Ellie and her broken ankle eh?

I know from my own experience of not having a dad that Grandad must have filled a huge gaping chasm in your life and i am deeply sorry that he is gone again. Just remember mum of all the happy times you guys had together and remember that your children love you very much and are here to give you love and support in your time of need. We will miss the big guy even though we hardly knew him. I will miss him more for the way he completed you and made you feel loved these last few years and for finally being 'your old man.' I love you so much. I am so sorry that i am not there to give you a huge hug and tell you that it is going to be OK. I am thinking of you and sending you massive love from the other side of the world.

It's funny that the only real story i have about my grandad and me is set quite a few years before him and my mum were re-united after god knows how many years apart. I went on a lads holiday to a friends villa in the tiny town of Calahonda on the Costa Del Sol in Spain when i was 18. We drank way too much and behaved like animals, as you do on a lads holiday. Years later when i first met my Grandad he told me he lived in Spain, in a tiny village on the Costa Del Sol called Calahonda! I told him i had been there and described the villa i had stayed in. It turned out that for that fortnight in July 1994, i was his next door neighbour!! I may have even vomited in his front yard!

Isn't it crazy how that there are billions and billions of us on this earth all going about our business and yet it is such a small place? What were the odds of staying in the villa across the street from my long lost Grandad? A man i had only heard rumours about. Talk about six degrees of separation! (in NZ they only have 2 degrees of separation!) I may have passed him in the street. I may have felt a strange tingle and wandered what it was. I may have been on the beach with his children, my uncles, at the same time. How fucking insane is that? Fate? Destiny? Coincidence? Or just the gods playing chess with us as the pieces, trying to mess with our minds? Who knows, eh?

My Grandad is going to be fine. He has my brother to guide him through the whole after-life thing and show him the ropes. Look after him Bruv and make his transition easy, k?

They say that life goes on and sometimes it seems such a shame that it does. How crazy does that sound but it is true. You sometimes want it to pause or rewind it like an old videotape but unfortunately the batteries in the remote have run out. Life is relentless. It goes on whether we like it or not. Our loved ones die for a reason. Hopefully they remind us to live life to the fullest because there is nothing we can do to slow down or stop time. They remind us that life is short and that we have to make the most of it while we can. Yeah it sucks when they go. It can feel like your whole existence is pointless and that you will never feel happiness again but from my own experiences, you will. It's such a shame that death is a huge part of life. We focus so much on death and the end of life that we sometimes forget the whole living part. We slip off into life comas and all of a sudden years go by and you have missed out on so much. Carpe Diem! Seriously, CARPE FUCKING DIEM! People die to remind us to seize the day, to not let our limited time on this planet go to waste.

We remember our lost loved ones and feel sad. Why? Because we miss them. Sometimes we feel that they wasted their lives. I would hate that if i had just popped my clogs. I'd want to be missed or be remembered for having lived life to the full. Had amazing experiences, had kids (maybe), left a legacy or anything that I am proud of. I think back to my lost loved ones and feel happy. Not always, but mostly. Because they have given me so many memories and cherished moments. Given me so much love and allowed me to love them. Imagine going through life and not feeling anything? That would be horrible i reckon. Yes, it is painful when people leave you forever, but they never really do. Just in a physical form. They are still here, you just can't touch them, or hear them or be with them. They have blessed you in giving you amazing experiences, in loving you unconditionally and for just being there when you need them. Yes, some of that will change but try to just focus on all that amazing stuff because that is PROPER amazing stuff! Forget money and power and all that bullshit. Love is all you need. Love is a lot like anal sex. Whether you are a giver or receiver, it's actually truly amazing! Sometimes painful but mostly amazing. Yeah, bum sex and love are very similar. LOL! Sorry but had to slip something funny in there...........just like bum sex again, sorry!

One of the coolest things i reckon is sitting down with my mum and my sisters and just talking about my brother. Remembering times and things we all did. It brings us closer together as a family but also reinforces the memories. You will be amazed at how much you learn too. It usually always ends in tears but not always tears of sadness. I could have seriously used some of that this past September 5th. It was the first time i haven't had that and it showed me how important it was to me. I will always miss my brother, always, but i will never ever ever want to not talk about him or stop remembering him and all the fun we had together.

I will miss you Grandad. I never knew you that well and for that i am sorry. I will endeavour to learn more about you and my heritage and try my hardest to look after my family as i know you will have wanted. Rest in Peace big guy. Thank you for being a father again, you are a good man.

Peace

D

XXXX

CP closes!! For 1 day

2009-09-16T22:56:00.000-07:00

So we had our first proper closure the other day. Luckily it was on my day off so i never lost any money. HA HA HA losers! No, it was a weird old day really as when i got up it was absolutely stunning outside. I had planned on a nice chilled out day in front of the laptop and maybe a walk or something. When i looked at the snow report Coronet Peak was closed. Up the hill they were having gale force winds but down by the lake we were basking in the gorgeous spring sunshine. It was our first closure of the season. Not bad considering the recent weather. The Remarks were closed for 3 consecutive days a while ago. I chatted to one of the lifties who said that when they re opened the hill most of the lifts were under nearly 6 feet of snow which they had to dig out at 5 in the morning! Sod that, well not quite................I'll elaborate later.

So i woke up to gorgeous sunlight and it wasn't long before the texts started rolling in. A closed day means the first time all CP staff have been off at the same time this season, so after much rushing around getting myself dressed and into town i met up with a few of the guys for a game of frisbee golf. In my rush to get ready and walk into town it hadn't once crossed my mind that the sunshine outside might actually carry some warmth so i rocked up in a hoody, my jeans and trainers. Everyone else was in shorts, t-shirts and flip flops (or jandals as they are called here. Or thongs as they are known in Aus. Or shlops as they are known in South Africa. These southern hemisphere types sure are strange, eh?). So anyway, i met up with Tee, Blake, Richard, Dickon (or Dicks as he prefers) and Gemma for our epic frisbee encounter. It was good fun. Richard, who you may remember throws a dodgeball like a girl, apparently throws most things like a girl. In fact he was so bad at times he even managed to fling his frisbee into the lake. Twice. A feat i feel is actually more difficult than it should be as the lake is no where near most of the holes. To be fair by this time the gale force gusts had hit town and quite a few of our frisbees were ending up no where near our targets.

On our way round we bumped into a crowd of the rental guys who had abandoned their game of frisbee golf and where heading to the pub (at 11.30am), mainly because Talis (the dude who helped us at dodgeball) had also managed to fling his frisbee toward the lake and in an effort to try and stop it floating away, slipped on a big rock and cracked his head. After much heartfelt and sympathetic laughter we carried on our game but craved the pub. By the time we finished neither of us needed much persuasion to head to the bar for a few cold beers. No idea who won the frisbee golf as we all lost count. It was probably a close run thing between me and Blake but at the end of it i just wanted some alcohol. So we hit the bar at lunchtime for a few drinks in the sunshine and i ended up getting home at around 2. Er, 2am that is! It seemed to be a steady stream of people from work meeting up with us as people left throughout the day so there was always someone drinking with myself, Dicks and Rich.

Dicks and I were a little tender the next day at work but nothing too bad. The great thing about the day off was getting to see spring in full bloom. The wind hurled the blossom around us as we feebly chucked our plastic discs in the sunshine. Although i was over dressed, it was so nice to feel the sun on my back. That means though that the small amount of snow on the hills is receding rapidly. We are down to the last few weeks of the season. I'm gutted that it is coming to an end really. Not just because i will miss skiing but because i will miss Q town when we go and will certainly miss all the new friends we have made. I guess this is the norm though with seasonal workers. I can see myself seeing some of the guys again in the future though. Well, i hope i do.

Wow, after all the elation of being told i could work in rentals, i got a crushing blow the other day. It seemed they cocked up all the hours in rentals and it turns out they don't actually need any extra help. So for the second time this season i got told i wasn't gonna work in rentals! It was such a shame as it was my first choice when i applied to NZSki and the rentals guys have been really welcoming. Oh well. I then heard of more hours being available as a lifty. Long story short, i am gonna start as a lifty on Monday. Well, lets not speak too soon. The head of lifts said i need to see him before i start to finalise a few things but it'll mean i can still work in the shop too. There are also some more hours coming up in the shop as Jane from the Remarks is leaving soon and the Remarks stays open a week longer than CP. Hours i might just snap up but will discuss with the other guys i work with. So fingers crossed, the lifty thing will go ahead. Especially since it is such awesome weather at the moment and the slopes are pretty quiet.

The shop has continued to be quiet so i have added to my robot that i made last week. I made a rubber band ball as big as my fist which has started everyone else off on a rubber band ball trend. We are all now walking around bouncing our balls. Mine is the biggest though as i used a whole 500g bag of god knows how many rubber bands. I'm a bit worried that it will get lost or stolen on my days off. My other project was a suit of armour i made for a teddy bear. We have a little toy box in the store with a big white teddy in it. It looks quite cute, until i put it's armour on! Then it becomes a scary muthafucka!! I've put it up on the shelf in the shop next to my robot and again, am getting some positive comments. One girl actually wanted to buy my little robot the other day. I told her to fuck off.

I worked at the Remarks today and am working there tomorrow too to get a few more hours. I really like the laid-backness of the Remarks. It's very different to CP. We had a laugh today when we got a box of goggles delivered to us which had been left in the loading bay of the warehouse overnight and had been savaged by Keas! The little bastards had pretty much eaten all the cardboard but left the goggles alone. It was another bluebird day there too and i was gutted i never took my skis with me. The best thing though about being back at the Remarks is i get to see the topless lifty from night tubing again! I can't help but smile at her everytime i see her. I doubt she knows her boobs are on my blog and are able to be viewed by millions!! Well at least by my mum (lesbian).

Our assassination game ended. I got killed by Anna in rentals who went on to be the last assassin standing. We forgot to work out a prize so she ordered us all to buy her a beer in the pub that night or she would proper assassinate us. The game was a lot of fun and other departments were jealous to not be included. So, we have commenced another game with now over 30 of us playing. It's chaos! We are all hanging out in our "safety zones" and are constantly jumping into our safety positions. You can't be killed if you adopt a Karate kid style praying mantis stance. I argued that it is technically a crane stance, having done a little kung fu but got shouted down by the others. We also added that you can be killed up to 8.30pm which means a whole 12 hours of paranoia and constantly being on tenterhooks. We can be killed anywhere too and there are no safe zones in town. My target hasn't been in all week, making it near impossible to murder her. That said, she is Gemma, my next door neighbour, so if it comes down to the deadline (i have to make my first kill by Sunday), i'll just knock on their door or abseil in through her bedroom window and sticker her. If i'm not killed first that is.

Ah man, just heard the weather report. We are due for a shitstorm of bad weather over the next few days! Damn, and there was me hoping that i could work on my tan when i start as a lifty. Being a lifty will mean i am totally exposed for potential assassination! Maybe i'll go tell them to stick their job up their arse!

Peace y'all.

D

XXXX

So long K-Dog

2009-09-09T23:24:00.000-07:00

Wow, what a hectic week! Danny and Catherine have been and gone now. We had a really nice time with them as ever. We took them up to Bobs Peak on their first day to have a few races on the luges. Great fun although it was freezing and there was snow and ice on a few of the bends which caused quite a few comedy crashes and skids. We then went out for the evening and ended up getting really REALLY drunk! Danny did his party trick which he only seems to do when he stays at our place which was wet the bed. He did it before when we were in the flat in Northolt after a few too many. We were fine with it and i of course found it hilarious. Things were pretty tame after that with our alcohol consumption. We had an awesome few days skiing too. The first day at CP was a little marred by our monumental hangovers but we still got in a few runs and managed a bit of night skiing too. We went to the Remarks the following day and had probably the best weather we have had all season, a total blue bird day. The snow was amazing and completely over shadowed my comical falls on the big box and the nursery slopes. I had to work the next day but the guys hit the slopes at CP again. I think they were aching after 3 solid (almost) days of skiing but they had a ton of fun and the mattress in our spare room avoided getting too soaked in Dannys wee.

My Brothers birthday was a good day. After an awesome bluebird day at the Remarks we headed into town. We wandered down to the beach to light our lanterns. I lit mine and before long it was soaring high into the atmosphere. Kates lantern was not so graceful. I think she let go of it a bit too soon and that it wasn't completely full of hot air. It climbed a little before taking a bit of a nose dive toward the lake. It recovered but never really got much higher than the tree tops of Q town gardens. It seemed to crash into the woods before going out but it was dark and we couldn't really see. We joked that it probably would start a massive fire but it all seemed fine. I also joked with Danny and Catherine at how the last time we lit lanterns for my cousins wedding it was in the newspapers and on local radio shows as reports of UFOs. Well, we made it into the local paper too! Today's paper has an article asking for answers to a strange light seen hovering in the night sky on Saturday. It was me you fools!! HA HA HA!

It seems the Winter games have truly left our town. But not before one of the biggest sports stars, Shaun White (the flying tomato and the Michael Jordan of both snowboarding and skateboarding) shouted at Kate from a van. She was walking into town when she heard this guy shouting at her from a passing van. She wasn't sure who it was but could see his flowing ginger locks blowing in the wind. When she got to town she looked in the local paper and noticed a picture of the guy who shouted at her, Shaun White! She has had a evil ear infection for the last week or so and wasn't sure what he shouted but thought it might have been something about collar and cuffs! Shaun White is super ginger so i reckon he was probably shouting his support of ginger power but i think it's way funny to think of a sporting legend asking my wife if she had matching pubes to her ginger hair! Good on ya Shaun!

Dodgeball also finished this week. We had an epic 3 game session including a playoff game to finalise the placings. We were missing Billy so drafted one of the rental guys, Talis to help us out. It was a stroke of genius on our part as we annihilated the first team and won 2 points. That pretty much doubled our whole haul for the season! We also won the next game too which got us right into the mix in our fight to not finish last. We then had our playoff game against the CP food & beverage team, yesterdays muffins. In front of a huge crowd we managed to squeak past them and win our 3rd game of the night lifting us into 4th from bottom in the league! We were stoked! The lifty team from CP ended up winning, finally knocking the Shaolin Shadow boxing ninjas off the top spot. The Vaginamite team i played for a few weeks ago ended up coming second so i claimed a hollow second place. No, we were super happy that our team finished so well.

So what next for the remaining few weeks of the season? Well, to keep ourselves busy at work we have developed an assassination game. 12 of us are playing and we are given hits by our game co-ordinator "M" which we then have to assassinate by putting a "U R DEAD!" sticker on them and shouting bang! There are safe zones where you can't get killed and the game will run for a week or so. I have already made 2 hits. Both of my victims (Kate the custodian and Tee who i work with in the shop) just walked into the shop, straight up to me before i stickered them. I felt bad for killing both of them but i'm sure they will get over it. My next target might be a bit more challenging as it is Talis, the dude from rentals who helped us play dodgeball this week. He's a massive Aussie dude so i will have to use all my cunning and also avoid getting assassinated myself. The paranoia is already starting to set in. I imagine i won't last too long.

Work is super quiet at the moment. I was so bored the other day that i made a robot. As you do. He is called HOD (Head of department) and has a little beanie and a "winter crew" yellow staff t-shirt. He is a snowboarder too with his own little snowboard and cool bindings. Toshi pissed himself when he saw it. I have put him on the shelf behind me in the shop and have already had a few cool comments from staff and customers. Hopefully he will watch the shop for me when i go for ride breaks and watch my back so i don't get assassinated.

We also had a really cool staff night tubing event at the remarks this week too. We got ferried over to the Remarks in one of the big buses and all shit ourselves on the road up. As the bus was so big the driver had to swing it out over the edge of the road so he could swing it around the tight corners of the mountain road. A few times a few of the girls squealed and there a few "fuck me!" moments. We made it safely though and got a free BBQ, 2 dollar beers and some awesome tubing action. Now it seems that at every staff night event this season a few people have decided to get naked. They did a naked bungy jump at our staff night there and did some nude skiing at our staff night skiing at CP. I had missed all the nudity up until the tubing night. In fact i got some cool pics of one of the Remarks liftys with her huge wangers out! She jumped onto a naked dude and they slid off down the track in their tube. At the bottom the guy fell out and slid naked along the snow. The crowd went mental and all pissed themselves at this, myself included. It was made funnier by someone nicking the dudes trousers! HA HA.

So the season is very much winding down and there are only a few weeks left of snow. More staff are leaving all the time and the weather is getting warmer and warmer. Some trees are starting to blossom too. All quite stunning but also quite sad. Especially since we lost a member of our posse yesterday. Yes, the K-Dog has had to go home to Aus. We sent him off with a bang though. Yeah we know how to party in style, by playing......................BINGO! Wednesdays are bingo night at the skycity casino. Yeah, OK kinda lame but we won $50! It was a good start to the evening and we ended up drinking barmaids, which are huge glass tanks with a tap so you can pour your own beers. K-Dog also tried to jump the stream that runs through town. I convinced him he would piss it. He tried and failed, pretty much soaking himself in the process! Good work fella! We will miss you K-Dog. I will miss your silky smooth 360s and extracting lots of your chips from you at poker. Keep in touch dude.

On a happier note the rest of our little posse are moving in with us! JC and Laura are having lots of problems with their housemates and landlord so we have extended our lease and we are gonna sub let them our spare room. It'll be a blast and i can't wait to get some more time with JC and our guitars.

I didn't manage to start in Rentals this week as everyone seems to be disappearing so i have had lots of extra shifts in the shop. I went into rentals yesterday and sorted out a few things with Jim and i start officially in rentals on Monday. It also looks like i might be able to work like 7 days a week if i want to. I mean it would suck but the money would certainly help our further travels. I guess we'll just see what happens.

Anyway guys i am gonna get back to what i do best which is laying on the sofa scratching myself and pestering Kate.

Peace

D

XXXX

Becoming a rent(als) boy

2009-08-31T19:47:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, exciting news. I'm adding to my huge winter repertoire by working in rentals, finally! As the season is winding down now my boss Toshi has decided to cut some of our hours in the shop. A move that back fired last time he did it when we had the busiest week this season. But to be fair there are certainly less people on the hill and our takings in the shop are coming down a bit. It's understandable, most people will have their gloves and goggles by now so the shop doesn't need so many of us around. I was quite annoyed at first because less hours obviously means less money. Yes it also means more time to ski but the spring conditions at the moment aren't exactly enticing me out onto the mountain. Plus my dodgy back and twisted knee have kept me off the snow for around a week already. So, i took some initiative and went and spoke to the head of rentals. Jim and Kate (not my Kate but rentals Kate - also known as hot Kate) were the guys who interviewed me ages ago when i first went for my job interviews on the career day. I have met them loads over the season so asked if they had any extra hours going over there. Hot Kate seemed really keen to get me over there as rentals is losing lots of staff over the next few weeks. Jim was a bit of a harder nut to crack but he also saw it as a good thing too. I used the whole "wanting more experience" aspect which is true, rentals was my first choice when i applied for the job, but in truth i could also do with a little extra coin. I went over for an introduction to rentals the other day and set up some skis and a snowboard for Jim to show him i wasn't a complete dunce. He seemed quietly impressed that i knew a little bit about dins and forward pressures in the skis and that i knew how to set up a snowboard considering i haven't really ever snowboarded. I have another proper trial tomorrow morning which I'm looking forward to.

I even got invited out for a drink with the rentals crowd the other night. I know a few of them but it's amazing how a few beers can really relax people and before i knew it i felt like i had known them for ages. Toshi and Hot Kate had already told them i was a midwife so i had to go through all my midwife stories and enlighten a few of the guys who all thought that all i did was stare at moo's all day. No, i told them i stare at boobs too! I ended up getting very very drunk and getting into trouble with Kate (my Kate not Hot Kate - although my Kate is pretty hot too). Oh well.

I had an awesome jam session with JC the other day. We met at his house and before i knew it we were banging out some awesome blues together. JC is a pretty wicked slide guitar player and is really bluesy. He made me sing in front of him too as i was being all embarrassed at first. I sung my 'go to' song which is Comfortable by John Mayer. Even though i had a cold and a sore throat i nailed it and JC seemed genuinely impressed. He wants me to play it at open mic night but i feel it isn't crowd pleasing enough. We also worked on "It's business time!" by The Flight of the Conchords. JC plays the bass part and i play the main riff. We couldn't quite figure out how to sing it at the same time though. Usually the guy playing bass (Jemaine Clement) sings the verses but JC didn't know all the words. I was trying to sing it but found it hard to play the main riff as well. More practice is definitely needed before we break it out for open mic.

It was awesome playing with another guitarist. Especially one who is better than me and who has an understanding of music. Laura (JC's GF) has a music degree and pretty much taught a lot of stuff to JC. So he was like "play that same riff in G" and i was like "Huh?" It took him a little time to figure out that although i play guitar, i don't understand much about music. I of course just read tab so had to keep asking what fret he meant but we figured it out. We then spent a fair old chunk of the afternoon playing rockband on the Nintendo Wii and wailing along to songs. JC is so funny. He hates people being left out so kept trying to encourage Kate to either sing or play drums. Kate being super stubborn flat refused to sing but got onto the drums a few times.

We then went into town to play pool, have a few beers and watch a movie. We got to the cinema to find that the movie we wanted to see had just sold out. So, we headed back to the bar for more pool until the next showing was on. Saw District 9. Hmmm, not exactly an epic blockbuster but an interesting story all the same and some pretty good SFX. Worth a watch if you have nothing better to do, like cut your toenails or something.

The big news this week really is the arrival of Derby Danny and Catherine, our friends who live up in Whangarei. They put us up for a while when we went to visit them earlier in the year and know it's our turn. It's Dannys Birthday too so i imagine we will go for a few shandys over the weekend. They also ski and board so we are heading up CP for a little night skiing and then gonna hit up Remarks for a little session too. I'm psyched as Remarks has been closed most of this week due to high winds so there is nearly 50cm of new untouched snow up there waiting for me to faceplant into! CP has somehow stayed open all week even though we have had high winds too. I think the guy who runs CP is Mr Burns in disguise. We should've been closed loads but he only sees things in dollar signs so when other hills like the Remarks or Cardrona close everyone comes to CP. It means we get paid but it also means we have to deal with lots of pissed off customers who keep moaning that the lifts keep stopping cos the wind is howling. Today for example we got held at the snow centre where you get the bus up the hill for an hour due to wind, then we headed up and it was like a scene from March of the Penguins!! Howling gales and blizzards - no Penguins and certainly no commentary by Morgan Freeman. People still struggled up the hill though as we had 1 lift open. And that was the baby magic carpet on the nursery slope. We opened one lift for 20 minutes which meant we wouldn't need to give out full refunds then they shut the lift and sent most of the staff home! Money grabbing bastards! I would've been pissed to the max if i had paid $93 for that which is the cost of a day ticket. Needless to say i got sent home which i was cool with as i am still recovering from man flu, a twisted knee and my eternal back problems. Really wanting to save myself for when Danny and Catherine get here, especially since the weather is supposed to get better tomorrow and there is a shed load of new snow about. Catherine asked us if we had any spare goggles the other night that they can use when they come down. I laughed as due to that Bolle incentive we have about 6 pairs just laying around at the moment. I even made another claim today! Just for sunnies though as didn't quite have enough points to get more goggles. The incentive finished today so will hopefully get the rest of my stuff over the next few weeks. Dude, i'm gonna look like Bolle threw up on me!

Wow, so i have a free afternoon today. Might watch a DVD or download some porn. Mmmmm, porn. Er, anyway..........................I'll catch up with you guys soon.

Peace

D

XXXX

Apologies...............

2009-08-26T12:40:00.000-07:00

Whoa, sorry guys. It seems that the 2 people who actually read this blog were a little disappointed that i missed out last weeks entry. Basically i have been run ragged with organising my onward travels and my 2 days off last week were spent searching for and booking hostels, hotels and cheap cars. It pretty much means that our journey home is sorted now with only a few things to arrange and get confirmed. As soon as it is all finalised, i will let you know. I can say this though, it's gonna be epic! (dunh dunh dunh! - Dramatic sound effect)

So this last fortnight has been filled with the usual merriment and fun goings on that have pretty much been the norm for life in Q town. It is slowly becoming the back end of the winter season. A fact i have noticed in a number of ways. Firstly, out of the blue last week i realised that i am now actually going to work in daylight. No more amazing sunrises over the Wakatipu basin on my commute in the staff bus. It sucks really because it was totally awe inspiring some mornings. Such a shame i share the bus with a load of beanie wearing half asleep hungover teenagers, snoring and twitching despite the loud bassy tones of some random drum and bass spilling out of their ridiculously large headphones next to me. Nah, i slip my ipod on and drift off into my happy place and let the glorious red sunshine warm my cockles. Well, i used to. Now the sun has already got his hat on by the time i get to the foot of Coronet Peak but it does feel nice to have the warm sun on my face again. Yeah the temperature here has climbed too. No more -7 degrees in the morning. Higher temperatures has meant less snow too. Our mountain is still pretty well covered but I'm not sure for how much longer as it now rains instead of snows at our base building so you are riding slush by the time you get to the bottom. The snow that does fall at the top is so wet that it freezes really easily and forms a hard crust or patches of ice which are not fun to ski on.

Last week i did get Kate out onto the mountain for a bit of skiing. She has been either reluctant (Fair weather skier!) or too hungover to ride the last few weeks so it was nice to get her up on the hill. I want to keep her momentum going as she has improved so much this season. She even said she fancied some different runs so i took her all over the mountain. There were a few testing bits but she passed with flying colours. On one of our last runs i stopped halfway down to wait for her. When she stopped next to me i asked her how her first black run was going? She gave me the stink eye big time as she realised i had taken her down her first black run (which is for advanced skiers). That said, she man'd up and finished the run no problem and was then ecstatic she had managed to do her first black run. It was nice to see her so proud of herself and she very quickly forgot about my deception. I knew it was the only way i could get her to do it. If she had known she would've thrown all her toys out of the pram and gone home in a strop! I'm very proud of her too. Although we have been here all season Kate has hardly really skied enough. Her fitness is a big problem and because she doesn't like skiing on her own she will only ski on my days off, which is only 2 days a week. So in hindsight she has done really well to be riding a black run by now. I worked out her "on the snow" time before we came away and it turned out she had only spent around 20 hours skiing previous to getting here. That's less than if you went on a weeks holiday beforehand. So she has done really well. She still moans about it and looks like a sun burnt orangutan after just a few minutes riding but i think that on the whole, she is enjoying it.

Oh, you know i told you about my Bolle incentive? Well, it came through. I got some awesome lime digital Fathom goggles with an Aurora lens (that means bloody sweet pair of goggles worth about $300!) for Kate and some cool little polarized Slap sunnies for me. There was also some other junk like a bag, a cap, a drink bottle and a huge lanyard with a big carabena (climbing latch) on it. Kate's goggles look awesome and match her green coat. The Aurora lens in them is this orange lens for low light but it has a blue coating on the front. It looks gnarly! My sunnies are cool but a little too small for my huge face so i have also donated them to Kate. She is gonna be one cool looking chick, i can tell you. I was a bit disgruntled by not really getting anything in the end (other than a cap and a bag) so i filled out another claim form at work and sent it off. I was unsure if i was going to keep the sunnies before i filled out the claim so agreed to get Blake (Tees BF) some glasses instead. That claim came through yesterday so i know have an awesome free pair of Quasar goggles with an awesome fire red 50 lens (it's a low light blue lens but has this sick red and orange mirror coating on the front) worth about $250 for free! I gave Blake his sunnies last night and he is stoked about them. After Discussion with Tee (who i work with) we decided to claim the rest of the 130 points between us. So i have put in another claim for more goggles and finally a pair of sunglasses that fit my fat face. She is getting some more goggles for Blake and some sweet sunnies for herself. If these claims go through it will have meant that our shop has claimed over $2000 worth of free stuff! Not bad eh? I went into town the other day as one of the pharmacies is a big Bolle stockist and i wanted to try on some sunnies before i ordered. I got chatting to the assistant in there and she was telling me about their Bolle incentive. She said she had 35 points so far. She near fainted when i told her that we had nearly 400 points between just 3 of us! The only reason we don't have more is because Bolle is out of stock of all our biggest selling goggles. I tried on my glasses and left with a very smug smile on my face. I have since been back to try on more sunnies and met her again. She introduced me to the store manager as "the guy with 400 Bolle points." The store manager was very impressed and i again left with an even bigger smug smile on my face (think Tony playing monopoly in France - for those of you who were there).

So hopefully more free shit is heading my way. Gotta love free shit eh? Work is fine apart from i am starting to get a bit over all the stupid Aussies i have to deal with. For the first part of the season i found it quite amusing at just how stupid some Australians are. They are like the Americans of the southern hemisphere. But now, i am getting tired of their dumb shit and if i hear another Aussie explain that they are confused by Kiwi money (our $2 coin is bigger than our $1 coin - like every sane country! Oh but not Australia where their dollar coin is bigger than the $2 coin) i will seriously jump over the counter grab the stupid dick and try to insert my cash register into their anus whilst screaming "read a fucking book you dumb Aussie bastard!!" They certainly have a "the whole world revolves around me" kinda persona. Well, alot of them do but not all of them. Some of them know they are dumb and seem to relish in the fact that they are a joke. They get their own self-deprivating comment in first before i can jump over the counter and insert my cash register into their corn hole. I don't mind that. It's when they think their shit don't stink as they are asking for the 5th time what the word piste means that i seriously want to drag them into my store room and re-enact a scene from Hostel on them. Groan.

We have to be super nice to them of course because without loaded stupid Aussies bringing their strong, but larger than the $2 dollar coin, Aussie dollar, we wouldn't have had a record breaking season. Our attendance at CP is up a whooping 40%. And we are in a recession apparently. Thanks to budget airlines, it is cheaper for Aussies to fly to our ski fields in NZ than it is for them to visit their own! A fact i get told about 74 times a day by stupid Australians!! Grrrrrr!

That said, Kiwis aren't exactly saints either. I near wet myself after hearing a story Billy told me about his mate and a rough bird from Taranaki. This friend pulled this girl in a bar and went back to her place. When he got there he needed to go for a wee so excused himself off to the bathroom. When he walked out of the bathroom, there was the Taranaki girl naked and bent over in front of him by the doorway. She turned her head, took her cigarette from her mouth and muttered the immortal and romantic phrase.........."Just chuck it in Bro." I found this hilarious and have pretty much said "just chuck it in Bro" at every opportunity i have had over the past fortnight. Classy chick huh?

So i snowboarded again too last week. I got my board and boots and enthusiastically hit the big easy slope. Man, it seemed that all my good riding from the previous try had been forever lost in some sort of inter dimensional vortex. I sucked ass on my first run. It was like my first ever run all over again. I struggled to stand for a few feet before trashing myself and landing in a heap. I feel awkwardly onto my wristguards and somehow managed to bruise my ribs. I twisted my knee on another spill and by the time i got to the bottom i was all set to jack it in for the day. I decided to suck it up and go do another run. What a difference! I was back! Carving around like a natural again. Gunned it to the bottom of the run with much higher levels of confidence. After a few more runs i decided it was time to head up to the top of the mountain and do the M1 run. On the lift up i noticed it was pretty moguly (like the dude from jungle book) so decided to do the top of the M1 then cut down Pro am (which was Kates first black run i mentioned earlier). I did the moguly bits OK by just heel edging through them and made it in one piece to the top of Pro am. That's were i realised i was way above my station! Pro am is steep and was super icy. I really struggled. It was a total role reversal too as Kate was now cruising along but having to wait for me to catch her up. I bailed out of the run half way down and boarded over to the bottom of the M1 run with my tail between my legs. When i got to the bottom i wasn't that bothered really. It was a big ask to try a black run after less than 10 runs on the nursery slope really. I was pleasantly pleased with myself that i had even given it a go. I paid for it the next day though as my whole upper body and my left knee felt like Kathy Bates had snuck into my room during the night and called my a "dirty bird" whilst hitting me with a sledgehammer, like that scene from the movie Misery. My left knee is still sore. It is strapped up and i am resting it this week. Well, apart from dodgeball last night.

Our team is officially bottom of the league! YAY!! Last week saw the official unveiling of Billys new bin bag costume. He had fashioned a nappy out of a bin bag and wore nothing else! Needless to say he got a lot of attention from the opposing team. He got hit by about 20 dodgeballs, all leaving nice red marks on his chest and back.

Last night we played again. I was dubious about my knee but was standing in the wrong place at the wrong time and got hoisted into playing for another team that were short a few players. So there i was wrapped in a bin bag with the 80's aerobic instructor team called "Vaginamite!" They have a team chant and everything! Probably one of the reasons they are second in the league. Well, we hammered the other team. I was on fire catching balls all over the place whilst moving gingerly around and hitting the other team with my thunderous throws! I played 2 games for Vaginamite and won twice. A completely new experience as my bin bag team have only ever won 1 game. Needless to say my bin bag team got stuffed in our first game but somehow managed a draw, and a point, from our last game of the night. That point leaves us firmly rooted to the bottom of the league but hey, mighty oaks grow from tiny acorns. It is still way too serious at dodgeball sometimes. Last night some dude got knocked the fuck out! Not sure if he took a dodgeball to the kisser or if he fell and cracked his head but he was sparko!! Luckily one of our teams are ski patrollers who are all paramedical trained so they were quick on the scene. The guy was carted off by St Johns ambulance though. He's gonna have a headache today!

Other news is that the 100% pure NZ winter games have finally started. There's been a little bit of a buzz around town but i doubt it is close to what they wanted. It has been marketed as a lead up to the winter Olympics and the biggest winter event in the southern hemisphere (not too difficult though. Up until now i think the biggest winter event in the southern hemisphere was when JC and K dog built a little jump over at the Remarks!!). Yeah so it is looking like a bit of a washout really. The first few events at the Remarks were only watched by a handful of spectators and the first event at CP got postponed a day because there was moisture in the timing cable! Still, I'm gonna try and catch the final day as they have the big air comp at CP and the official closing party with the prime minister there too! I can add to my collection of how many prime ministers i have met. The NZ PM will bring my grand total to 2!

Anyway guys, i will try to not leave it so long next time for the next entry in this thrilling blog. Remember guys, when the world is against you and you are feeling really low, when adversity seems to be slapping you around, when the whole population of the world seem to be in cohorts against you, and just when there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel............................"Just chuck it in Bro!!"

Peace

D

XXXX

Turning to the dark side?

2009-08-13T15:03:00.001-07:00

S'up Yo? Ah, i haven't used that greeting in ages. It was always the way i used to say hi to Boo. It's getting to that time of year again when my brother is always on my mind. Well, to be fair he pops in and out of my thoughts pretty constantly. This September 5th will be the first away from my family and i must admit i am not looking forward to it. I have already sort of planned my day. I am working in the morning as i have a half day, then i'm gonna go ski, maybe catch a bit of night skiing (you get the most amazing sunsets through my vermillion tinted goggles), then head home and maybe walk down to the lake to light my Chinese lantern which i'll send up to heaven for Boo. Wow, the tears are streaming down my face as i am writing this. I miss you so much Bro. I just know that my brother would fucking love NZ. I know i am carrying him around with me but it is not the same as having him here to experience all the amazing things i am. It sucks so bad that i can't even tell him about my adventures. I know he is aware and i guess we will have a good old chin wag about it someday. I guess it's good to have a cry every now and then too. I will be thinking of you all at home and i am really sorry i won't be there with you. Just remember that that pain in your chest you will all feel is LOVE. I miss you so much guys.

Right, back to the business of this blog. I finally snowboarded!! It has been something i have wanted to try for years but for lots of reasons never got around to. When i first went to Bulgaria for Kates first ski trip, i decided i was going to board so it would put me on the same level as Kate but Lewy persuaded us to ski as Borovets has some pretty flat terrain (not good when you are a snowboarder). When i went to Canada for a month i was determined to give it a go then but i bought my skis there and just wanted to break them in, so never boarded. Finally, half way through this season i got onto a board. We have night skiing on Friday and Saturday nights at CP. Last Saturday we all booked ourselves into the ski club lodges that they have up on the hill. CP is a far cry from European resorts where your hotels can be right next to the lifts or actually on the hills. In fact, we only have 4 little lodges. The people who run one of them come into the shop every day to buy the paper and we have little chats with them. They offered us discounted rates so myself, Billy, T and Toshi snapped them up. A few others from other departments also decided to stay too. So we planned to catch some night skiing after work then crash at the lodge, roll out of bed and stumble to work the next day. As T is still learning to snowboard Billy thought it only fair that we boarded as well. I jumped at the chance to give it a bash. Kate came up and met us and Billy and me went to rentals to grab our gear. It's pretty sweet that they give us all our gear for just $8 but i play poker with one of the guys so can get it for free, if i ask nicely.

After work we headed to the hill. Man, snowboarding boots are comfortable! Seriously they are like slippers compared to heavy awkward ski boots. I thought it best if we hit the nursery slope first to learn a few of the basics. A few of the liftys asked what the hell we were doing so we explained we were snowboard virgins. Of course they all chipped in little nuggets of advice. I threw my snowboard down to get myself strapped in and immediately nearly lost it as it slid away from me. First rule of snowboarding? Never let go of your board! I managed to grab it before it slid away and crashed into a small french child (maybe i should of let it). Skis have little brake systems built into the bindings so when they fall off your feet they dig into the snow and don't shoot off down the mountain.

Anyway, i strapped myself in. Billy by this time was strapped in, upright and sliding down the slope. He did 3 really nice turns before taking a tumble. Now, he claimed to have never snowboarded before but after his first effort, i was dubious. Now, everyone told me that because i used to skateboard i would pick up snowboarding really easily so i was pretty confident i would crack it. Well, unlike my first ever go at surfing where i stood up straight away and rode the board all the way to the beach, my first attempt at snowboarding was far from graceful.

Firstly, i couldn't bloody stand up on the thing. Everytime i tried the board slid away. Being on the baby slope didn't help either as it was too flat. Sounds weird but when the slope is steep it's actually easier to stand up as you can push yourself up against the gradient. I managed to eventually get upright just before my toe edge dig in and flipped my forward onto my face. I rolled over onto my arse and tried again. T's boyfriend Blake gave me an awesome tip to help me stand up. He said to grab the edge of the board as i stood to pull myself up. After that i was away. It felt very weird at first as you can travel in pretty much any direction. Skis pretty much go where they are pointed and the same can be said about snowboarding but there is also lots of scope for multi-directional sliding. Without trying i started spinning as i slid along before catching my heel edge in the snow and getting thrown onto my backside. After just 5 minutes i could see why so many boarders break their wrists and coccyx's. When the edges of the board catch on the snow, your momentum flips you forward and almost catapults you to the floor. Snow is supposed to be soft but pack snow is not. It's pretty unforgiving. Something i discovered on my next attempt. I was now standing easily and managing to control a few turns but this meant i was also gaining speed. Half way down the slope i again caught my toe edge and was catapulted face first into the mountain. I was ready for it this time and flung my arms forward to protect myself. I had wrist guards on but all they did was send the shock of the impact up my arms to both shoulders. I collapsed in a heap and when i tried to get up i couldn't feel my arms! I thought i had dislocated something for sure but after a few seconds the feeling came back in my left arm so i immediately tried to grab my limp right arm to coax it back to life. It was another few seconds before my right arm came back online and i tentatively began to move it. Kate was watching from the adjacent run and panicked when she saw i wasn't moving for a while. I managed to roll over and get myself up onto my feet and coast the bottom half of the run. She met me at the bottom to check i was ok, but after a few arm stretches and a double check i wasn't broken, i was off again. No falls, no balls, as they say.

Billy continued to ride pretty well and took a few more tumbles before he got a call from his girlfriend (my next door neighbour Lisa). She had blown him out and had decided to not stay the night in the lodge with us. Billy threw his toys out the pram big time! He got so vexed. Apparently him and Lisa are going through a rough patch anyway and i think this was the final straw. He apologised but preceded to call it a day after just 3 runs, get changed and go home. I was a little disappointed in him really. He should of at least stayed in the lodge with us and drowned his sorrows, the drama queen!

I continued to ride the little magic carpet lift up the baby slope and after another couple of runs i was carving along nicely and more importantly, under control. Blake felt it was time to take it to the next level and actually get onto the big slopes. I agreed and we headed over to the chairlift. Don't worry, i wasn't about to throw myself down a double black diamond (that's an expert rated run - i piss those on my skis!). We got to the top of the meadows lift and i managed to get off without falling. You have to have one foot strapped in so have to ride the board sort of more like a skateboard. Something i found pretty easy. I strapped in and under Blakes watchful eye i headed off down the slope. Now the run is called 'the big easy' but there is a pretty steep bit at the top. I of course took a spill but because it was steep i slid down the hill a bit and actually took Blake out too! We collapsed in a heap together as Kate looked on and pissed herself laughing. She's so helpful. I got back up and carried on making it to the bottom in one piece. Blake gave me a few more pointers. I was carving really well on my heel edge but wasn't doing so well on my toe edge. I think that after my faceplant and near shoulder dislocation i was being a bit too tentative when turning on my toe edge. He told me to just go for it, so i did. When i got to the top for my next run, i linked a few really nice turns before taking a little tumble. Blake decided i was doing well enough to be left to it so he headed off to go ride some more challenging terrain. As Kate pointed out, the big easy run is super gay. See, their she goes again being not exactly helpful. She is right though but i reminded her of her first day on the hill when i rode all afternoon with her on the "Super Gay" big easy because she was scared of the big runs.

My next couple of runs just kept on improving and before long Kate couldn't keep up with me! I was carving around and gunning it along. I think that having skied before i wasn't afraid of the speed and after i figured out how to control myself and the direction i was going, i was away. They were right, having skateboarded before made it so much easier. Blake came back over and was astounded by the progress i had made. He rode with me to the bottom and struggled to keep up. He said i was carving like a pro. I doubt it very much but was pleased with myself. T couldn't believe that I was at a similar level to her after just 2 hours, and she has had numerous lessons and has ridden for 6 weeks! Ha Ha! (laughs in the style of Nelson from the Simpsons)

I was pretty tired after my efforts as snowboarding uses very different muscle groups to skiing. We got changed and headed over to our lodge. It was pretty basic but Kate and I had an 11 bed dorm to ourselves so it was all good. In the morning we got up and Kate hit the slopes for first tracks (meaning she got to ride the hill and the freshly groomed runs an hour before everyone else) while i went to work nursing my aching body. My shoulders were fine but my wrists and knees were pretty bruised. It was great fun and definitely something i want to do again. Don't worry i don't think i'm turning to the dark side just yet, i love my skis too much for that, but i can hear Darth Vader beckoning me.

Other news this week is that i have been asked to volunteer at the NZ Winter games. They are a huge event that is gonna be massive. Especially since everyone is gonna be using them as a warm up for the Winter Olympics which are in Vancouver in February. I have been asked to help out for the Mens freestyle half pipe in Cardrona, which is out near Wanaka. Not ideal for me for a number of reasons so i have respectfully declined. They have also offered me some of the ski racing at Coronet, which i am considering. It might be a pretty sweet day. We have had the USA, Canadian, Japanese and NZ ski teams at CP for a while now so i am keen to see those guys in action. I'll see how it goes.

Also this week, i finally completed my Bolle incentive, which i think sounds a lot like something from the TV show Lost with its 'Dharma initiative'. Bolle are a company who make goggles and very pricey sunglasses. They gave us a sales incentive where if we sell a pair of goggles we receive points based on how much the goggles are worth. If we get 60 points, we get a choice of any sunglasses and goggles for free. Well, between the 3 of us in the shop we have amassed around 400 points already this season! Not bad eh? So i finally got round to filling out the tedious forms and sending them off. I have decided to give the goggles to Kate as Bolle are quite small and i struggle to get them over my huge cheek bones. I was gonna order her the top of the range "Screams" but she didn't like them so went for the next level down "fathoms" which are still worth $250. I went for the cheap and nasty sunglasses as i reckon if i had a pair of $300 dollar sunnies i would immediately lose or break them. I have enough points to claim again though so still might get a really nice pair of goggles and sunnies which i can always ebay or something. I have already got a nice pair of free sunglasses from the Dirty Dog rep and am holding out for more free shit from the Icebreaker (really nice expensive Merino thermals) rep. Gotta love free shit.

Dodgeball was eventful as ever this week. We lost twice, again, to the English tea party team and a team of randoms who couldn't be bothered to dress up. It has started to become a bit of a farce really. Well, a load of us running around in bin bags and womens lingerie is definitely a farce but the organisation and refereeing has become a joke. It has taken a lot of the fun out of it as teams are just blatantly cheating. We hit a guy 3 times this week and he still refused to leave the court. So we claimed our losses as moral victories instead. I did see some pretty funny stuff though. One of the teams are all dressed in camouflage, with one guy actually disguised as a tree with real branches and everything. The guy in the tree outfit was standing at the side of the court chatting when a dodgeball hit him straight in the scrotal zone! He dropped like a sack of spuds and it was a good 5 minutes before he recovered. I also saw a girl get smacked in the tits by a dodgeball thrown by a mime artist. I resisted the urge to offer to rub them better but i bet she woke up the next day with a pretty swollen hooter!

Anyway guys, i will love you and leave you. Hope the blog is still keeping you entertained.

Peace

D

XXXX

Thoughts from the back of the bus

2009-08-06T17:53:00.000-07:00

I decided to title this blog "thoughts from the back of the bus" as I'm considering it for the title of my debut album. What do you reckon? I am of course getting ahead of myself as per usual but last night Kate and i were thoroughly entertained by our friends JC and Laura at a local open mic night. It seems JC, although a spitting image of the messiah, can play a mean guitar and can wail too! They were pretty good. JC went mental and played this awesome slide guitar tune that had the crowd going. I was very impressed. They of course tried to get me up on stage, both knowing that i play a little guitar too. My very modest and very unpractised self though decided i would just spectate. It has been an age since i had the time to just sit down with my guitar and "noodle" as we say. I haven't learnt a new song for months and the last song i learnt (and recorded) was 'Lever pulled' by John Frusciante. It's an awesome tune but i was no way confident enough last night to play it in front of strangers, even after a few ales. So i respectfully declined but in conversation after their set we all suddenly realised that between me, Laura JC and Kieran (whose nicknames are too long to mention, oh ok. He's secret-shithead-K dog, naturally) we would get together and jam. I have only ever played guitar with 2 other people though. My old mate Pocky (the plumber from Northolt golf club who had a crush on my mum! Yikes!) and the guy in the guitar shop in Auckland who kinda played over me while i was demo-ing the guitar i brought. So I'm pretty psyched about playing with these guys and maybe getting up on stage to belt out some tunes......................maybe. If i don't get total stage fright and foop (when you try to fart and poop comes out, also known as a shart) myself! I'm sure we will discuss it further at some point.

The rest of my week has been filled with the usual merriment and fun. We had a staff night skiing night the other night (phew that was a lot of 'nights' in that sentence!). They closed the hill at 5pm as usual but us staff got to night ski. They also threw in a free BBQ and had 2 buck beers! It was amazing! We had the whole mountain to ourselves. I have never had so much space on the pistes before. I of course skied awesomely! Especially after shotgunning 2 beers straight off the bat before we even started, thoroughly impressing Billy. We hit an area of the hill called 'the exchange' before the light got bad as it was still caked in snow. It seemed a popular place as there were quite a few of us hitting the jumps and drops. There was even a camera man filming some of the crazy snowboarders doing backflips and 720's. Billy (who likes to perform) decided to try his first 360. He over rotated and "ate shit" as we skiing types call it. He was all right though. I decided to hit the same jump but probably should've maybe scoped it out beforehand. It was a near vertical lip that i accidentally near back flipped off, landing neatly in a heap on my back! No harm done, except jerking my neck and aggravating the whiplash i got earlier in the season. After a few runs we headed down to the base building and grabbed Billys kayak. Yes, you read that right. Billy is a mean kayaker and decided he would bring it along and slide down a few runs in it. Now kayaks are not really designed for that sort of thing so i was employed as a safety measure to ensure Billy didn't accidentally fly off a cliff or crash into anything. It seems snow kayaking is similar to sexual asphyxiation in that they both require spotters, especially after that whole Michael Hutchance debacle!

We got a few weird looks and some whoots and hollers from our colleagues as we loaded up the kayak on the lift and headed up to the top of meadows, which is the learner bit of the mountain. Our first run was off piste. Pretty much the same line i took when i slid down the hill dressed as Shred the Kea a while back. It went fine except the kayak didn't run too well in the deep snow. So we decided to take it over to the M1 which is a bigger, steeper, groomed run. Billy got settled into his kayak using me as a front break to stop him from slipping down the hill. As soon as he was set i moved away and whoosh, off he flew. He was flying! I had to straight line it down the hill to keep up with him. I skied along side him as he made futile efforts to steer the boat away from the edge of the run and imminent doom. Now, we sort of left out a few details in our careful planning for this boat run. Nothing big, oh except how to stop the bloody thing!! The bottom of the M1 run has a curve in it with a quite large drop off the side. A curve that Billy was failing to negotiate too well in the now out of control kayak. In fact he was accelerating straight towards the drop. I responded quickly and dived onto the back of the boat, grabbing Billy and cunningly using my skies to steer us away from the drop and nicely around the curve. We hit the steep bit off the run but with me now steering we coasted nicely to the bottom, stopping short of the base building. We were greeted by some more whoops and hollers and immediately jumped up to go do it again! The cameraman, heard the commotion and decided to tag along this time.

We jumped back on the lift with a small crowd of followers, got to the top, got Billy settled into the boat and set off. Billy was far more confident this time and decided to perform for the camera, doing a few 360 spins as he flew down the hill. I tagged along in my role of spotter making sure no one was in any immediate danger. A guy following us decided to do a huge carve and covered Billy in snow which i think put him off as he suddenly veered towards the cliff again. In a flash i was, quite literally on him, jumping onto the back of the boat and steering us to safety. We rode the rest of the run together with our cameraman snowboarding next to us capturing it all on film. We got to the bottom to be greeted by rapturous applause from our colleagues. It was dead good!

After a quick pause to get some alcohol into me and a sausage from the BBQ, we headed back up the hill again. This time though we left our skis and the kayak behind. This time we carried snow scooters! A company that rents them in town brought them along for us to use so after a very brief demonstration on how they sort of work, Billy and i dragged them up to the top of the mountain. I had used snow bikes in Canada but these snow scooters where very different. You strapped your feet in to the board and gripped the handlebars for dear life. I travelled a mere 6 feet before stacking it big time and cracking my head off the handlebars! Luckily, i was wearing my helmet but it did my already aching whiplash neck no help. It took me ages to get the hang of it and i fell, a lot! It didn't help that the rest of my colleagues saw us snow scooter riders as targets and were constantly cutting us up and spraying us with snow. I'm pretty sure that little Jane (who works in the shop at the Remarkables) took me out the worst. She cut right in front of me, yelled sorry but laughed as i tumbled to the deck and slid along the snow causing it to all shoot up my jacket and giving me what is affectionately known as "snow belly!"

It was such a good night. The CEO, James Coddington, or Cod face as we call him, was there serving drinks and all the managers were helping out running the lifts and cooking the BBQ. It is a shame really that they don't do it more often. We do have a staff tubing (big rubber rings that you race down the mountain!) night at the Remarks next month so that should be pretty cool.

Talking of the Remarks, we actually skied there yesterday for the first time this season. It is tiny compared to Coronet but offers so much more. There are loads of bowls and chutes, tons of off piste stuff and of course it has parklife. Parklife is a collection of snow parks (like skateparks, but on snow) with loads of things to jump off and jib (like a grind in skateboarding) on. One of the parks is called the stash. It's so ghetto! It has all these logs to jib and even a hut to ride over. I decided to leave the hut for now as the 20 foot drop to a steep landing looked a little too extreme for me. Billy has done it and it does look super gnarly. Maybe later in the season. So i spent the day with JC and Kieran jibbing logs, boxes and tables. It was awesome.

Kate loved it too. As the runs are pretty short you can hurtle down them without getting quad burn (muscle ache in your thighs). I impressed myself with my downhill racing style and gunned it down a few slopes super fast! Kate even went over to the shadow bowl on the opposite side of the resort, an area that is quite advanced. She stacked it on a thin little run and i feared it would knock her confidence but she was fine. Well, until we tried to walk back to the bus on our way home.

At the Remarks you have to walk down the nursery slope to get to the bus. It's not steep obviously but in trainers, it's pretty slippery. So i toddle off to get the bus then hear this massive crash behind me. I turn to find Kate in a heap, covered in all her gear. She did a proper you've been framed style legs both slipping out stack! Luckily it was right in front of everyone on the nursery slope! I went back to help her up but as soon as she stood up she kept just slipping down the hill. I managed to grab her skis and she eventually righted herself and we made it to the bus. I imagine she is gonna be black and blue this morning though. I'm just gutted i didn't get it on film. £250 is a lot of money in NZ!

No dodgeball this week as the hall was double booked but we did make it into the local paper. They ran an article about the NZSki dodgeball tournament and mentioned our team, Bin Ladens Ball Bags, in the article. Pretty sweet. They also mentioned when and where we play so i imagine there may well be a few more spectators this week. I just hope we give a better showing than our pathetic effort last week. We're not bottom of the league though. That title goes to Victorias secrets which are the team all dressed in ladies lingerie. Nice. Well, except for the dudes.

Anyways, I'll chat to you lot later.

Peace

D

XXXX

Pretty sounds and awesome sunrises

2009-07-31T22:11:00.000-07:00

Another awesome week is under my belt. I had 3 days off so took advantage and skied my little ass off! On Friday Kate was suffering from my late night poker win at Surreal and decided to stay in bed for the day so i met up with JC and Kieran at Coronet. Before winning at poker and also winning a seat at an invitational cash game (which i will tell you about later) i brought some new heat moulded foot beds for my ski boots. After a hard day riding on Thursday my feet were killing me. My feet were loose in my boots so i had been tightening them all day and they ached like a bitch. What a difference though on Friday! I skied all day and my feet were fine. So much in fact that i even stayed on for night skiing with JC. Billy also tagged along and we found some sweet little drops to jump off. Billy did an insane 180 spin off this big drop which is probably the most gnarliest thing i have ever seen. I dropped off it too but didn't spin. The landing was pitched black but i had a "Fuck it, all in!" moment (when Kate plays poker and moves all in sometimes she says "Fuck it, all in!"). I was super stoked that i did it. Hopefully it will inspire me to get on with being a bit more gnarly. Well, without hurting myself, of course. I did manage to take out a small Japanese lady though! I hit this jump but she was in my landing area, just waiting in the middle of the damn slope. I tried to avoid her, but only because i thought she was a girl called Alice that we were riding with. I clipped her and spun her as she fell. She was fine though but i was a bit annoyed that she was just standing in the middle of the slope in the bloody dark. Stupid cow! I probably shouldn't have been flying around myself but at least no one was hurt.

On Saturday we all rode again at CP (Coronet Peak). On my first run me and the boys headed off piste over by one of the runs called Greengates. As i started my run i saw this thing out of the corner of my eye and heard this strange squawking! I had been dive bombed by 2 bloody Keas! Keas are the green alpine parrots that live down here and are one of the most intelligent animals in the world, apparently. The guys saw everything and pissed themselves laughing. The Keas flew away and i escaped unharmed. I had probably inadvertently skied over their nest or something. Ooops!

When i finished for the day i dropped my gear off at the shop where i received a nice surprise. Our CEO had left us thank you letters for all our hard work over the school holidays. Pretty standard stuff but it was a nice touch. Shame there wasn't a cheque attached.

I had my first day at the Remarkables on Wednesday. The bus up to the Remarks is a notoriously sketchy road but i didn't even blink at the 200 foot sheer drops of the edge of the road as i was hypnotised by the most amazing sunrise i have seen so far. I tried to get some pics but the bumpy road made them really blurry. By the time the bus stopped to put snow chains on, the sunrise was pretty much up. The Remarks is a very different resort to CP (Coronet Peak). For one, it's an old building and all the lifts are quite dated. The shop there is tiny when compared to CP. It took me about 5 seconds to find my way around and familiarise myself. The stock is pretty similar to ours but the customers were very different. The Remarks has a few terrain parks and a lot more snowboarders and "Snow Bros" go there. CP seems to have a lot more old fashioned skiers and snowboarders. Don't get me wrong, we have our fair share of dudes at Coronet but there were tons of them at the Remarks. My first day was a good laugh and i actually felt more comfortable in the tiny shop. It felt a lot more intimate. We had a pretty quiet day but the best thing is that the bus for the Remarks stops at the bus stop across the road so i was home in record time!

Home in plenty of time to get myself for another dodgeball session. It seems all our tactics and momentum from last week were very very lost! We got spanked in our first game against the Buzz Lightyear team from rentals. Even with our new team member Eillis from food and Beverage. She's an Irish girl who is insane! She was diving all over the place and was the only girl on our team to actually catch a ball! We huddled after our first game and reinforced the tactics which worked so well for us the previous week but it was to no avail. We got annihilated by the transexual lumberjacks in our next game! (Not a sentence i thought i would ever type)
It seems we need to try harder. I may have to watch the movie again to get some hints, and some more quotes.

Thursday was my day off and instead of going skiing Kate got us two free trips to the Doubtful Sound! It basically saved us $700!! The Doubtful Sound was amazing. Mainly because of the scenery but also because out of The Milford Sound and the Doubtful, it is the least popular because it's further away, so it was nice and quiet. It meant that just 20 of us rattled around in a boat that could carry 140 passengers and that we were the only boat on the sound. Kate went to the Milford sound last time she was here and said it was packed full of boats and that planes and helicopters were buzzing around overhead. It's difficult to describe the scenery that is there. Sheer face mountains caked in moss and trees that have hundreds of waterfalls cascading down into the ocean. It's famous for it's wildlife too with regular sightings of giant bottle nose dolphins, fur seals and rare little blue and great Fjordland crested penguins! Kate was buzzing as you can imagine but we only saw fur seals, which technically were there out of season. Go figure.

The weather was typical of the area. Doubtful sound get 200 days of rain a year and Thursday was no exception. It pissed down. It meant that there were hundreds of waterfalls falling down the steep mountains which dropped straight into the sea. It was also snowing on the tops of the hills and although the cloud was low it was absolutely beautiful. I got some good pics. Because the cloud was so low and it was pretty grey, Black &White pics were the way to go. Shame as it is so green there but the light was terrible. It was a long day too and i could see why the Milford sound is more popular as we had a 2 hour coach trip, then transferred to a mini bus, then an hour cruise across Lake Manapouri, then an hour on a coach before a 3 hour cruise through the sound before doing it all again to come home. It was well worth it though. Especially since we got it for free!! HA HA HA (Evil cackle!)

Back to poker. Thursday night at Surreal was my last chance to win my way into the card sharks invitational cash game. Carlos, Mike and Kate all had seats to it and i felt a little left out. Mike and Carlos had multiple seats and had offered to sell me theirs but i was confident that i would win my own seat (I was a little drunk). Anyway, long story short, i ended up smashing everybody and winning my seat, as well as a $50 bar tab. It was probably the best i had played in a long time. So today (Saturday) we headed over to Surreal to play the cash game. It was quite weird playing not only at day time but also playing sober. I went out pretty quick getting beat by quad 10's to my full house. I wasn't mad though, quad 10's is an awesome hand! Kate fared better getting to final table and finishing 5th and pocketing $30. Not bad considering it was free to play, as long as you had an invitation. It was like a who's who of Q town poker but a girl from Arrowtown ended up winning and pocketing $300. Good fun, and we both have seats at the NPPL cash game in a few weeks with a pot of $1200! Wish us luck.

So, a pretty eventful week in all. Skiing, the Remarks, Doubtful sound and poker. Typical NZ week. We have also started looking towards our onward travels. We only have a few more months in Qtown but have been looking at options for after we leave NZ. Pretty exciting stuff which may or may not involve a 10 week road trip through the USA and Canada. Sweet huh?

Anyway guys, I'll keep you posted. Take care y'all.

Peace

D

XXXX

Dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge.

2009-07-22T13:54:00.000-07:00

Another glorious week has passed and as i sit here typing i am starting my first of 3 days off. It has been a pretty eventful week. Work has been cool as ever except that i discovered that the reason we have had our hours slashed this week was because this is usually the quietest week of the season. No need for extra staff, so it kind of worked out as a money cutback thing but also spun as a "Big thank you for all your work" type thing here's an extra day off, go have fun. Well, it seems that the global recession may be truly on the way out because instead of being a nice quiet week in the shop we have in fact tripled our predicted takings! It has been hella busy. In fact the last two days i have worked not only have we taken huge amounts of money and tripled the projected takings but also beaten the season record for takings. And all without any staff! Nice one NZSki! I have been running around like a blue arsed fly for the last few days. It has been relentless, and all whilst my boss was enjoying his days off. We have had till crashes, irate customers and queues running out of the shop but it has meant the days have flown past and our stock has been depleted to record lows. I would still take a stressful day in the shop over a stressful day at Queen Charlottes hospital any day though. At least no one died!

No one can tell me why it has been so busy but it seems a combination of bad weather and the Australians all staying on past the end of school holidays looks like a probable cause. When i say bad weather i mean lots of snow which is actually pretty good for a ski resort. We have had around 17cms of snow in the last 3 days alone. Wet and sleety in places though hence we have sold shit loads of goggles and face protection (bandanas and neoprene masks as oppose to crash helmets) .As i am typing this it is absolutely cats and dogs outside and as i have said before, rain in town usually equals snow up on the hill. We had planned another day riding with JC (Jesus Christ), Laura and Kieran but when i just mentioned it to Kate she seemed less than enthused. It is cloudy out but the mountain looks relatively clear on the webcam. (www.nzski.co.nz if anyone wants to see where i work. Coronet peak remember).

Last night saw the start of our company dodgeball tournament. Yes, you read that right. The shop have joined forces with the custodians (cleaners and information) and i am now an official dodgeballer! We had our first team meeting on Tuesday night to sort out our costumes as every team has to have a theme. We are called 'Bin Ladens Ball Bags' as our costumes are fashioned from bin liners. I guess half of the team being custodians, we had to have trash factored in somehow. My costume is a fetching bin toga, finished off with a green plastic bag belt, complemented with a full Windsor knotted white bin bag tie and a green bin bag bandana. Very fetch! The rest of the guys have similar plastic creations. I think Richards is best though with his bin bag Borat style man-kini! Billy is getting swoons too as his is just a bin bag kilt and no top. His six pack glistening as he throws dodgeballs at small girls on the opposing team. Women love that shit eh?

So we all met at the Q town events centre last night. Our team consists of 10 players, 6 dudes and 4 dudettes. We struggled to get enough dudettes so poached Kate from F&B (food and beverage) and Ashleyne from rentals. The other two are T and Lindsay who work with me in the shop and the other guys are my old mate Billy and the custodians Richard, Rob and Dickon (yes that is is real name and yes his parents must be evil!). We got our numbers wrong and tried to drag Blake (T's fella from ski patrol) to play but he was not having it. Well, not this week. I think he's gonna play next week though. The other teams filtered in and i was in fits as i saw their costumes. We had teams of ninjas, transexual lumberjacks (complete with cut off jeans, shirts tied at the waist and wigs), 80's Aerobics, cross dressing English tea party (summer dresses and tweed jackets), mimes, Buzz Lightyears, Super heroes, Hip hop dancers and Victoria secrets models (even the dudes wore lingerie!). Our management team didn't bother and turned up in shorts and t shirts and were promptly booed!

Our first game was against the team of ninjas (complete with cardboard swords and nunchuks!). We hadn't really talked tactics and it showed when the ninjas thoroughly trounced us 2-0. We walked back to the bleachers with our bin bag heads held low. I then got the team together and we had a tactical meeting. We decided that we would leave most of the attacking to the boys as the girls threw like, well..........girls and the other team kept catching their balls which not only knocked out our player but reinstated one of their own team. So we decided the girls should dodge and pick up the stray balls and hand them to either me, Billy, Rob or Dickon (as Richard also throw like a girl). We also wanted a more even rotation of players reinstated. When the girls got knocked out they formed an orderly queue and went back into the game in the order they were knocked out in. It meant us guys had to wait at the end of the line. This meant that at the end of the game we were left with one guy and 3 girls who all threw it like pansies and reinstated more of the other team. So we decided to go boy/girl/boy/girl when we got reinstated to even it out.

Happy with our tactics we went into our next game against Victorias secret with more confidence. It helped too as we won 2-1 and one of the games we didn't have a single player from our team eliminated! I did feel bad at hurling balls at women in lingerie with angel wings and tiaras but the predator instincts in me took over and i really got into it. I need to work on my accuracy a bit though. Especially since one ball i hurled hit the back wall and rebounded into the crowd of spectators, injuring a small child. But who the hell brings kids to a dodgeball tournament anyway? Some parents, eh?

The tournament has 14 teams and we play on a Wednesday night. It is a league so i will no doubt have more thrilling dodgeball related tales to tell. "Touche!" (As Ben Stiller might say in the movie)

Hey, remember i have been going on about how Christmassy the town is at the moment? Well, it may have something to do with there being an unofficial Christmas Day on the 25th July here. I have started to see lots of signs in bars beckoning people to come in for Xmas drinks or Boxing day (26th July) meals. All seems fun. We have been invited to drinks at a Xmas eve party tomorrow night. Kate and Laura said they might go dressed as Christmas trees. I mean, who wouldn't?

I am still managing to play a few games of poker a week too. This week saw the start of the NPPL (National pub poker league) take over one of the venues we usually play in. It was way better organised and i had a great time finishing 2nd. Winning a $30 bar tab, a hat, a medal and an entry to a $1200 cash game in 5 weeks! Well, to be fair everyone who made the final table got entered. It meant Kate, Laura and Kieran made it but JC didn't. Plenty of us to rub it in though, ha ha. It also meant i got entered onto the NPPL website where i receive ranking points. I am currently ranked number 2 for the venue we played in. Not that impressive when you consider it was the first time we played there. We have both been such consistent players these last few months and it's a shame we haven't been to any NPPL nights. Who knows where we'd be ranked.

Anyway guys, i'm off to have a bit of brekkie then hit the slopes. Sweet as (as we say over here).

Peace (as i say all the time)

D

XXXX

2nd biggest earthquake in NZ history!!

2009-07-17T20:08:00.001-07:00

Right, first of all we are both safe. On Wednesday night NZ had their second biggest earthquake ever recorded. 7.8 on the Richter scale!! To put that into perspective, the earthquake that hit China last year and killed over 50,ooo people was only 6.2! Luckily for us our quake hit in the Doubtful Sound in Fjordland, which is the least populated area of NZ. That said, the Doubtful Sound is only about 100km away so we felt the tremor quite a lot.

We were both cuddled up on the sofa when it all started to shake. I thought Kate was jiggling her leg so told her to stop. She thought i was shaking the sofa so told me to stop. She got up and still accused me of shaking the couch. I told her i wasn't moving and that it must be an earthquake. Her face dropped and we both simultaneously said "Shit! What do we do?" We both looked at each other then turned to watch our heater move across the front room floor. Then it all stopped.

It was well weird. Kinda scary too and eerily quiet. I always imagined an earthquake to have rumbling noises. It was also amazing too that there was hardly any damage and no one got hurt. There were a few news reports showing CCTV footage of local supermarkets with all the foods falling off the shelves and tales of land slides. They issued a tsunami warning to Australia too but apparently the biggest wave was only 17cm over the average height. Their have been 12 earthquakes and over 200 after shocks since the big one but i haven't noticed them. I have to admit that being in an earthquake is not something i want to do very often.

I actually spent a whole day on the mountain the other day. We headed up and met up with our friends Laura, JC (Jesus Christ) and Kieran. Kate even kept up with us on a few runs. Well, until we took her down a run called Sarah Sue. It was very narrow and there was a drop off on one side which kept catching her eye. She didn't enjoy it and ended up heading down for a mulled wine. I had a great laugh with the guys and was amazed at how much air Kieran was getting! The guy was flying around off everything. I started to get my confidence up and hit a few big jumps and dropped into some huge bowls. After a while my right foot started aching and i called it a day. When i got home i looked at my sore foot and noticed that i had split the ball of it. Not sure how though. I wonder if i had a small stone in my boot or just split it on a landing. Either way it is flipping sore. I'm gonna rest it for a few days and see how it feels. Hopefully we will get some more snow too as the mountain needs some. It is well covered but is really hard and crusty. Some nice soft snow will certainly give me even more confidence with jumps as well.

Other news is that Kate won a poker tournament the other night. As well as a $50 dollar bar tab she is also entered into a $500 cash game in a few weeks. It means that between me, Kate and our friends Mike and Carlos we have won a tournament in town for the last 4 weeks. I unfortunately missed out on a seat for the cash game as i won a week before the entries started. Mike has 2 entries though so may give it to me which will be cool.

We also had an awesome day yesterday. We went to the Onsen hot tubs over at Arthurs Point. Kate got it for free as she finally used her "frontline staff" letter. People who work in frontline staff get loads of free stuff. They just have to ask for it. So i had to pay but it was well worth it. The hot tubs are in these little private rooms with retractable walls and roof. So we jumped in, retracted the roof and enjoyed the scenery out over the Shotover gorge and the shotover jet boats flying around the river below us. It was so relaxing and certainly helped my aching muscles after all the skiing the day before. We then went to the cinema in the evening and watched The Hangover. It was hilarious. I must admit that it has been the best couple of days i have had since we arrived in NZ.

So next week i drop my hours at work and then start mixing up my shifts with the Remarkables. I met quite a few more people from the Remarks at this weeks jug night so hopefully i won't be too green over there. Jug night was a lot of fun this week. I am so jammy in that i get the day off after. We went out with the admin and custodian departments to a restaurant called Joes Garage. It was a nice place and it helped that Billy knew one of the guys who works there. He also is in negotiation for them to sponsor our works dodgeball team. We are having a big tournament and wanted to be the Average Joes Garage team like the Average Joes Gym team from the film. After Joes Garage we went to Montys which is a bar i detest! Well, usually i do cos it is always super busy. On Thursday nights they have the 'ression session' where beer is only $3. It was cool this time though as there was a big crowd of us. Billy, richard and me then went and crashed the Guest services departments jug night over at Rattlesnake. It felt great to be back at Rattlesnake. The poker tournaments there have stopped but it was great seeing the barmaids again. Especially since they gave me free beer!! By the time i got to meet up with Kate and the gang for poker at Surreal, i was pretty hammered. Oh well, i got a nice lay in the next morning and plenty of time to recover.

So i am still having the best time, I just hope there aren't gonna be anymore earthquakes!

Peace y'all.

D

XXXX

Shred the Kea!

2009-07-08T20:50:00.000-07:00

Wow, what an awesome week! It all started with the close of the winter festival on Sunday. They had a rail jam at CP (Coronet Peak) with some of the best local skiers and boarders. It was a shame the weather was really cloudy but we managed to see a few guys absolutely wreck themselves on the rails. One guy broke his shoulder and another landed on his back from a 10 foot drop off an uprail. The comp got stopped for a while so we decided to go home and beat the crowds on the bus home. It was so cool seeing world class freestyle skiers like Jossi Wells and cool boarders like Nick Hynne. I was a bit star struck but these guys are totally awesome riders.

It has inspired me to get a bit more into the freestyle skiing. I'll maybe avoid the rails and stuff though as i don't fancy busting myself too badly. I'll just keep riding and hitting my little airs and doing my fancy little reverts.

The highlight of the week was being asked by the admin department to be one of the resort mascots for the afternoon. They came into the shop and asked if me or Billy could help them out. Billy decided he would do it as it did sound like a bit of a laugh but when the time came to go he bottled it so i jumped in. I went to the admin dept and got helped into the huge green Kea outfit. A kea is a local parrot that is notorious for being mischievous. They already chewed/pecked their way through an electrical cable which shut down one of our chairlifts earlier this week. We have two mascots. A Kea called Shred and a kiwi called Spike. A guy called Dave from rentals was in the kiwi suit. We joked about as we were getting dressed and it turned out he is from Yeading! Literally 2 miles from where i was dragged up. Small world huh? Once we were in our suits with our big heads on we were unleashed on the public. We had a minder who guided us around as the visibility was so poor in my costume. It was also about 500 degrees centigrade and as i pranced about for the kids i damn near passed out a few times! We worked the crowds over by the Skiwi kids area, high fiving the kids and dancing about and throwing snowballs. It was a right good laugh. We were not allowed to speak in the suit and under no circumstances could we take our heads off. This became a real problem for me as i was so hot.

We thought it would be a laugh to head up one of the chairlifts so we rode up one of the lifts called Meadows. When we got to the top we stopped and greeted the kids as they came off the lift. I was in bits as we caused so much carnage! Kids were concentrating so much on waving at us they were forgetting to get off the lift in time and causing big pile ups. Even the adults were trashing theirselves. I went over to help a big guy up and managed to fall down a big hole. I struggled back up as my minder wet his pants laughing. We decided to head back down the hill to the base building by walking down one of the steeper runs called the M1. As we walked over to the run we couldn't help but slide on our arses into this big bowl. As i tried to climb out of the big bowl i lost my footing and slid off down the mountain. I tried to fight it for the first 100 feet but it was pointless so i just rolled onto my back and enjoyed the ride as everyone on the chairlift pissed themselves laughing at me. It was actually quite a lot of fun, that was until i hit a patch of little fir trees and ended up smacking my balls off them! They didn't slow me down though and i gained speed as i headed over toward the nursery slopes. It all happened in slow motion but as i neared the slope i dropped off this big dip and smashed into the back off a snowboarder. I got up, helped her up, shrugged and just run away. I couldn't speak after all. It must've been such a surreal moment for her. One minute she's just chilling out sliding down the slopes when all of a sudden she gets totalled by a 6 foot 6 fluffy green parrot who just shrugs and runs off! I was cackling away to myself at the shear stupidity of it all. I had to stop after a few hundred feet as i nearly collapsed from heat exhaustion. When i stopped i noticed Spike the kiwi and our minder heading towards me in fits of hysterics, well i couldn't tell if Dave was laughing in his kiwi suit but our minder definitely was. They had seen me slide off down the mountain and both been really concerned, especially when i hit the trees but couldn't help but laugh when i smashed into the snowboarder. When i got back to admin and told them what had happened they laughed but were worried that i had hurt someone. It was all OK though in the end. I would defiantly be the mascots again but i would no way be the damn Kea again.

Work is becoming so much fun. I'm meeting loads more people. I'll probably be known as "the midwife" or "the Kea" from now on but i really don't mind. Town has calmed down a bit since the winter festival ended and it has really started to feel like Christmas. Weird as it's July but town is all lit up, it's cold and everyone is strolling around in beannies and big coats. I'm super happy. It helps that work has changed my days off to the same as Kates and after the school holidays finish in two weeks my hours drop down. It means less money but loads more time skiing. This week has been so busy. Full of stupid Australians who haven't seen snow before and spend all day shouting at each other! It meant that i didn't get a ride break for a few days. Well, i could have gone up for some runs but the lift lines were crazy long so i woulda spent most of my break in a queue. It'll all calm down in a week or so and I'll be back skiing everyday again and jumping off stuff, YAY!!

Tonight we're heading into town to meet our friends Laura and Jesus Christ to have a few drinks and play poker til the wee hours as i am off tomorrow. YAY, drinks and poker!!

Anyways guys, I doubt my career as a mascot is gonna be fruitful so i guess i'll just keep up the retail job. I must admit that i lucked out so much with my job. We get busy just like everyone else but i work with some great people and we all look out for each other. All the other departments are getting slammed! Guest services, rentals, lifts and food and beverage are crazy busy and having to work like dogs to run properly. We are busy but we still have quiet periods and time to have a laugh. I love my job!

Peace y'all.

D

XXXX

Jug nights and mild concussions

2009-07-03T23:28:00.000-07:00

Wow, how fast did this week go? Answer, hella fast! Time flies when you are having fun i suppose. The winter festival kicked off last weekend and there have been loads of events and things happening around town. Last Sunday we headed into town to watch the birdman competition which saw loads of nutters jumping off a platform in fancy dress into the very cold lake which was then followed by the drag race. Sounds kinda normal eh? Well, no it was a load of dudes in drag running around a race track on the lake front. It was packed but we managed to meet up with Mike and Aya, watch the festivities then go for a few drinks. We played pool, got our drink on and had a right laugh. Kate started to feel the effects of all day drinking and got the bus home. So Mike, Aya and me carried on drinking and then went to a poker tournament at the Revolver bar. Mike and Aya got knocked out pretty quick but i went on to win! It was sweet. I won a $50 bar tab and 2 tickets to the big night out pub crawl which are worth $50 too. Not bad for a night out. Mike and I then got invited to a cash game at the guy who runs the poker nights house. It was like a who's who of Q town poker but by 4am i was out and ready for bed. What with working full time it will probably be the end of a lot of the poker games we have been playing in town. Because the winter is here the town is full again so a lot of the bars we played in are doing different things instead of poker. Probably not a bad thing but it means we won't get many chances to see the regulars any more. That said, quite a few of them have popped into the shop and said hello and we will still play regularly at the surreal bar which will probably become even more popular due to other tournaments finishing for winter.

Work is still totally awesome. I have really settled in too and am already into the daily routine of the shop. We even had a stock take which was pretty hard work but we managed to do it and won't need to do another one for at least.............. a month! Groan.

Thursday night was Jug night. When someone cocks up at work or makes a pratt of theirselves they get fined a jug of beer, which they then have to buy everyone on jug night. For example, a girl on the bus home last week kicked over a bottle of wine which spilled down the aisle. She was fined 4 jugs!! Now as there are only 4 of us who work in the shop we don't really have a jug night but get invited out by the other departments. We don't fine each other jugs either, well at least it seems that way so far. Billy and T (who i work with) are so nice, I'd feel bad about "jugging" them. So for our jug night we tagged along with the admin department and went for a Japanese meal and a few drinks. It was very civilised and i was tucked up safe in bed by 11pm. I did have to work the next day though so cut me some slack.

The next morning the bus journey in was a bit eventful. Half the bus was still drunk and the other half were asleep. I sat and eavesdropped on debauched stories from the previous evening. We sold a fair few panadol and ibuprofen tablets in the shop too. Ha ha!! It may be different by the time the next jug night rolls around as i have managed to wangle the next day off. UH OH!!

Another thing has happened at work which i am a little concerned about. It seems my secret is out. I am now known as "The Midwife." Most people don't even know who i am but they know that some guy who works in the shop is a midwife, and they know it ain't Billy! In fact a few guys have even come in to the shop to confirm the rumours. One of the admin girls came in to talk to me about it saying that it was cool that someone actually had a skill. It was nice but made me feel kinda old. My new neighbour even came into the store to chat to me about lady bits. Sort of odd i suppose but i haven't talked about lady bits in so long so i actually enjoyed it. What can i say, i know a lot about lady bits.

The only other thing this week was me cracking my head on a pretty bad tumble on the mountain. My own stupid fault of course. It snowed for the first time in weeks so i was keen to get out on the hill. At the bottom of my first run i skied over to the beginners lift called Meadows and started doing spins into switch skiing (skiing backwards) but hit a pile of new snow which stopped my skis in their tracks. Unfortunately, the rest of my body kept travelling and i cracked the back of my head on the snow. Now snow is not always as soft as you think and i was seeing stars for a few seconds after. When i got back to the shop and told Billy and T they made sure i was OK. T's boyfriend Blake is a ski patroller and always tells T about the accidents that happen on the hill (we've had numerous broken bones and a few spinal injuries!) so she made sure i wasn't concussed. Needless to say i am now wearing my helmet, well............not right now, that would just look stupid but i am wearing it when i ski now(so relax Mum). Billy has also got himself a helmet on my advice. He has also started wearing a similar beanie to me and Kate thinks he is trying to emulate me. I'm sure he isn't. He seems a strong minded guy and probably just liked the style of hat i wear. If he starts skiing with a bandana over his face(like i do), chucks on a bit of weight and starts to belch the alphabet, i'll start to worry.

Tomorrow sees the end of the winter festival with a big party on the hill and a rail jam which we are going up to see and meet a few friends. In a way I'm happy that the festival is coming to an end and that the town might calm down a bit. The hill will still be busy as it's bloody school holidays here. Stupid kids! Little gits flying around on the mountain jumping off everything and being lippy. Man i sound old!

Anyway guys, if anyone wants to email me to let me know how things are at home, feel free (hint hint).

Peace

D

XXXX

In need of a day off!!

2009-06-26T21:59:00.000-07:00

Wow, what a week! Sunday saw a brief visit to the snow centre in town for a welcome and sign up session before i started work on the Monday. It was only an hour and there were loads of fresh faced young uns keen to get started. I filled out my welcome pack which consisted of my details (bank and personal) my sign up for a NZQA qualification in tourism, which i do as i work and read through my NZski crew handbook which listed all my duties, benefits and do's and don'ts. I also got my employee ID which entitles me to free skiing and loads of discounts in town, HURRAY!! I left wondering when i was going to sign my contract though but was just so happy to be finally starting that i skipped home like a girl and spent the rest of the day beaming.

On Monday i had an induction day at the local theatre. I had wondered why it was in such a big venue but as i entered the building there were hundreds of people waiting in the lobby. They opened the big doors to the auditorium and we entered the theatre to a rousing round of applause from our HODs (Head of departments). It was kinda creepy but also very cool. We found our seats before having to sit through a day of presentations and interactive exercises. It was kinda lame but i enjoyed it and it was a great way to get to know a few of the guys i will be working with on the hill. It was a sight to behold at times. A huge theatre full of everyone wearing hoodies and beannies and a massive variety of facial hair, even on some of the women!!

I got home feeling a little overwhelmed by the sheer professionalism of the whole day. I had expected a bit of a slapdash company running the mountain but they sure know their stuff. They even have a rewards scheme where if i get recognised for excellent work i can get nominated for a sno sport award. At the end of the season the guy with the most nominations gets a scholarship to go work a season in the states. Last year a guy from rentals spent winter in an awesome resort in Utah. Sounds pretty sweet eh?

Tuesday was my first real day on the hill. Had to get up at the butt crack of dawn for the first time in an age and really struggled to get ready. Kate drove me into town as she had to work too. I got onto the staff bus with all the other bleary eyed newbies. The drive up was amazing. Coronet Peak is on one side of this huge valley with the Remarkables on the opposite side. That first morning we drove up through the cloud and the sunrise i saw above the clouds blew my mind! It bathed the mountains in bright pink and made the clouds settled in the valley look like marshmallows. In all a pretty good start to the day really. Started my shift with a tour of the huge base building, meeting loads of people along the way that i will struggle to remember the names of. Also had to pick up my uniform but it seems everyone at work has a 21 inch waist! They had to order me fat boy pants! Not such a problem as the trousers look kinda lame and cheap and it means i get to wear jeans until my XXL trousers arrive.

By the afternoon of my first day i was back in the groove and once i got the till system sorted i was flying. It certainly helps that i work with some really cool people. Billy, who is from London but prefers to say he's from Edinburgh, and Tee who is a kiwi from Cambridge in the north island. They were both really supportive and helped me out when i got stuck with a few things. When they told me to go for my ride break i was out of the door in a split and out on the snow. Got to ride most of the mountain whilst munching my lunch on the fly. I had already stuffed the pockets of my ski jacket with carrots and nut bars to save time. I was pretty tired after my break but keen to get back to the shop. The only other thing that i found a wee bit difficult was cashing up the till but I'm sure with a bit of practice I'll get it.

The next day i worked with Billy again and couldn't help but notice he was getting a lot of female attention from one of the girls in guest services. She came into the shop a few times and they were pretty obvious in their flirting. She introduced herself to me and i couldn't help but overhear her talk about her flat and how it was spread over 4 floors. I asked her if she lived in Greenstone terrace. She said she did and i told her i did too. I then joked that she was probably my neighbour (remember the smoking hot Swedish girls i saw move in? Well, i still haven't really seen them!). She said she lived at number 24 which meant that yes, she actually is my neighbour. We had a laugh over it and arranged to meet for the bus in the mornings, turns out she is actually called Lisa and she is from Australia. When she left Billy said he couldn't believe that he had spent the night in the house next to me. So i guess their flirting was because they are seeing each other. She seems really nice and Billy is really cool. He's a good looking lad (Kate fancies him!) too and they make a cute couple. Just hope they keep the noise down.

The rest of my week has flown past. Each day i have felt more and more comfortable at work and have met tons and tons of people. Another cool thing is that a lot of reps come into the shop to train us up about products and things and they also like to give great discounts and free stuff! I got told to order a free pair of dirty dog sunglasses and get 20% of wholesale giro helmets which usually retail for $300. The goggle reps are coming next week so I'm hoping to hit them up for some free shit too.

The winter festival started yesterday so Kate, me and our friends Mike, Aya, Laura and JC (a guy called Kristan who i call Jesus Christ) met in town to watch the fireworks that start the festival and have a few sneaky beers. The town was packed! The fireworks were quite good too by Q town standards apparently.

So we have had a very eventful week. Lots of new experiences and new people and some very early mornings which i am gonna take time to get used to again. It has been awesome though. I am proper tired after 43 hours at work and loads of skiing too. Wouldn't change it for the world though.

Peace

D

XXXX

Smurfing

2009-06-19T21:03:00.000-07:00

So the hunt for a new hat was very fruitful, if not a little arduous. When i was up at Coronet last week i tried on a few and Kate really liked this green one. I bought it, using Kates 10% discount as my 20% discount doesn't start until i do. The hat was a little tight but when i got home i stuffed it with other hats and socks to stretch it. It's first outing was at poker on Wednesday night. It failed miserably. It kept rising up and looking like a smurf hat! Kate made me laugh when she told me my hat had smurfed itself as "to smurf" means to slap ones penis around someones face, in the porn world at least. So i decided that the hat needed more drastic measures to try and stretch it and relax the weave. When i got in i managed to stretch it over my ski helmet. I put on my helmet and looked a lot like a soldier, a look i might replicate up on the hill! I left it for a few days and give it another outing. It was a lot better but still occasionally 'smurfed' itself. So i decided to leave it stretched over my ski helmet for a few more days and keep looking for an alternative. Yesterday i found my new hat. I wanted something comfortable and not too thick. Something i could possibly wear casually, like my old grey beannie. This hat is a wee bit more elaborate than that as it's bright orange and turquoise with a huge bobble! It sounds kinda gross but i really like it and it looks quite cool too. I will no doubt get some pics wearing it over the next few months, especially since the weather here has truly turned antarctic!

We popped out to the local video store yesterday and i gave Kate my newly stretched green beannie to wear. She was reluctant as she doesn't really like trendy head gear! She rocked it though! It looked so cute on her and i was totally jealous. It looks like all the stretching has worked but when i put it on my bigger head, i could tell it still wanted to 'smurf' itself. It's back on my helmet (ski helmet, you pervs!) and i reckon in a few more days it'll be where i want it. If not, Kate can have it and i will just rock the bright orange number. No fear of Kate wearing that as it will clash with her carrot top.

I start work on Monday, gulp! Have to go in to town tomorrow to sign my contract and give them all my bank details and hopefully get my lift pass. Monday begins 4 days of training, one in the local theatre for some reason. Hope i get on the stage. You know me, i like to perform. Hopefully will be all trained up for the start of the Winter Festival which starts next weekend. It looks like it will be a laugh. Fireworks, Mardi Gras, gigs and lots of other cool stuff including a flying man competition in the lake and an underwear race called "the undie 500." It draws lots of people to town so it'll be like being dropped in at the deep end but I'm sure i will manage. Gonna have to get used to the early starts too. I haven't really needed to be awake before noon for like 6 months. Well, apart from the numerous job interviews. I can't wait to get up on the mountain.

Biff caused us a wee bit of grief this week too, bless him. He had his WOF, which is the NZ equivalent of a MOT. He failed with a rear brake imbalance. We took him to a local mechanic and hoped that they could sort him out on the cheap for us. Turned out he needed a whole new rear brake system which had to be ordered in from Invercargill. Sounded expensive and it was. When they called to say the work had been done they had already had him for 4 days. It had snowed here and the whole area went on hiatus for a day though. I was so excited to hear he had been fixed i agreed to pick him up straight away, not really considering that it was 4.15pm and the garage closed at 5pm and was over 5k away, oh and i wasn't dressed yet. No worries, i got dressed and sprinted out of the door, jogging the 5k in only 25 mins (uphill all the way) to go collect him. It hadn't even occurred to me to wear any of my running gear, including my running trainers so i trudged all the way there in my jeans and my skate trainers. When i got home i suddenly realised what a bad idea that had been. I stiffened up and thought i had given myself shin splints! When Kate got in i could barely walk without clopping my feet around like i was wearing flippers! I was in agony but still managed to go into town for a game of poker with the guys. In fact, my shins have only just now started to feel normal but my knee feels like it has been hit with a sledge hammer. A stern reminder that i am no spring chicken anymore. Shit, I'm not old either but obviously should've considered my running shoes for that sort of distance. Oh well, we live and learn eh?

We have been entertaining this week too, albeit a bit impromptu. One of the guys we have met at poker is a local guy called Mike. He is a chef in town and has latched onto me and Kate. He is 29 and up until he met us he considered himself old. Cheers mate. Well, he brought his girlfriend with him the other night to poker and they ended up dropping us home and coming in for a night cap. I felt a bit weird having people over. It has been a very long time since we entertained and the flat was it's usual pig sty state. It wasn't actually that bad. Mike met us the following night and said his girlfriend had loved us and wanted to go out for drinks and a meal in town. Sounds good as we have only eaten out in town once for dinner since we got here! Don't get me wrong we eat out for lunch a fair bit but only venture into town for poker or beers. We'll see what happens.

Have still felt a bit helpless this week regarding my sister and her ankle dramas. She had her surgery and it went well, except the surgeon was super concerned about the lack of bone density my sister had in her legs. All sounds a bit ominous to me. They kept her in for tests but i doubt it'll be a while until we hear the results. I have spoken to her a few times and intend to more over the next few weeks. I just wish i was there to give her hugs. I miss you sis.

Anyway guys, i will let you know how my first week on the job goes. Chat soon.

Peace

D

XXXX

The end of an era..........

2009-06-12T20:08:00.000-07:00

Quite an eventful week this week. Don't worry I'm still managing to squeeze in my 4 hours of porn a day and play poker. Had a few set backs though this week. Firstly the news that my little sister Ellie has broken her ankle in 3 places and had to have surgery! It's the second time since I've been away that i have wanted to come home. Just drop everything and jump on a plane. I hate being away from my family when stuff/drama is happening. It's not that I'm worried about missing out but i just want to be there to give moral support and lots of hugs. I have long arms which are very good for hugs apparently. Get well soon sis. I love you millions and we are thinking of you lots and lots. Probably have to put the whole professional football player thing on hold for a while eh?

The second, and even more drastic setback is the loss of my grey hat! If anyone has seen me over the last year then they will know that that hat has pretty much been permanently glued to my bald noggin. I remember buying that hat on a shopping trip to Westfield with my little sisters, who i swore to secrecy because i bought it in a womens clothes shop! I'm not a tranny or anything but the hat was awesome and subsequently got sold in the mens section of the shop too so i consider myself more of a trend setter as oppose to a cross dresser. Anyway, i put my hat in the washing machine without thinking to look at the label and guess what? It got a bit stretched and mishapped. Kate came up with the great idea of boiling it and tumble drying it to make it shrink again. A great idea yes, if my hat had been made of wool. It wasn't and Kates laughter will forever haunt my soul when i put the hat back on. It was pretty much ruined. Well, it looked more like a duvet cover than my old hat. I had a little ceremony when i threw the hat out and have begun my search for a replacement. Groan.

On a more positive note, Coronet Peak has opened. I don't start work up there until the 22nd of June so don't get my ski pass til then but my boss emailed me and wanted me to go see the layout and have a ski so he sent me a free day pass. We went up there yesterday and had a blast! The base building is super modern and enormous. The shop is huge and well smart. I met up with my boss and also met Billy, who is another guy working in the shop. He is from Edinburgh and my first impression is that he is a really nice guy. We chatted like we had been friends for ages so I'm super stoked about starting there in a few weeks. The skiing was good too, actually a lot better than i thought it was going to be. Only half the hill was open but it was still relatively calm up there and i have already scouted out a few little ledges and jumps to throw myself off at some point. I really am psyched about getting up there. I also found out that i will be working full time. I'm OK with that too as i get ride breaks. Meaning i get a long lunch break to go skiing every day. Cool huh? There is also talk of being able to swap over to the other resort, The Remarkables, for some time too. Although Toshi (my boss) said i was too good to work over there which boosted my confidence a little bit as Coronet is definitely the better of the two resorts. Well, it's more of a ski resort. The Remarks is more of a ski park style resort. It has lots of parks with pipes and rails which is something i wanna get more into but means there will be more boarders than skiers there.

So I'm still not sure what days i will be working but they seem relaxed about rotas and stuff. Good too as there is a ski instructor course running that i am quite keen on doing too. We shall see i guess.

Kate is happy as well. She fell a few times up on the hill but not badly. I should remind her that she is technically still learning and that falling is part of that. She is already starting to parallel turn and just needs to work on her weight distribution and posture and she will be fine. It also helps that everyone is loving her ski jacket. She has a bright green North Face limited edition coat and is getting lots of compliments from people. I can certainly see her up on the hill and green always compliments her ginger hair so it's all good.

So i am still so happy about my job. Well, even more so now i have met some of the guys i am gonna be working with and have seen the hill and the awesome base building. Other awesome news is that we found a British sweet shop. We went in to look for strawberry liquorice and ended up spending shed loads on drifters, Baby ruths, Tizer and red vines. I think i had way too much sugar and have not really been able to sleep since then! Maybe i need to detox myself.

Still playing poker regularly in town and still meeting lots of new people. The town is really starting to fill again. It's funny at poker now as we know so many people and everyone has there own little hand shake. I get confused often. I go in for just a regular handshake and am suddenly pulled in and hugged or there is a complex shake, twist then punch greeting. I guess i just to practice more which means more poker! Yay! It has been a bit weird this week as i played a lot of games sober. I've had this stomach bug and just felt horrible. Not bad enough to stay in but not good enough to get my drink on. Did OK at poker but certainly wasn't as relaxed without some dutch courage in me.

Wow, this is going to be my last week of just chilling at home, watching porn and playing poker. After that i am gonna be working so no more 3am poker at the Surreal bar for me! Had better make the most of it then. Take care all, especially you Ells. Get well soon baby.

Peace

D

XXXX

Come on Hamish, not in a porno way though.......

2009-06-03T17:01:00.000-07:00

Hello everybody peeps!

Sorry my last entry was a bit of a downer. Funny how only i can take a really positive situation like getting your dream job and turn into a shitstorm of dread and anguish. Stupid pessimistic brain! No i feel really upbeat about the job situation again. It helps that the ski season starts in a few days with the Coronet Peak resort opening and then the Remarkables resort a few weeks after that. It also helps that i bumped into Hamish again last night and he told me had another interview with NZski who are the company that owns the resorts, and my current employers (well, they will be after i sign my contract). It is his 6th interview with them! I asked if he had his own private parking spot at the snow centre yet and if they all knew him on first name terms? I wished him all the luck in the world and really hope he gets something. Hopefully up on Coronet as it will at least mean i know more than two people up there. I told him about the dickheads i met last week and he shared in my shock that they were given jobs and that he wasn't. I recommended he dye his hair orange, get a few facial piercings and drop a few C bombs in the interview. It obviously worked for Xmas face girl.

So whatever you guys did a few weeks back to help me get my job (prayer, positive vibe sending, crossing of fingers, death threats, blackmail, bribery) i would appreciate it if you sent a little more to hook my homeboy Hamish up. He really is a good kid.

Life in Q town is as good as ever. Well, improved actually. The town is filling up again with smoking hot women all dressed in their cute little ski coats and beanies and the snow is falling. We missed the big storm that was supposed to hit. It dodged Q town and wrecked Rotorua in the north island instead, dumping a foot of snow on the unsuspecting town and causing it to shutdown. Another big resort in the south island, also owned by NZski, is called Mt Hutt. It is a small resort and a bugger to get to and very isolated. It had to close on it's opening day because..................wait for it........................they had too much snow!! How the hell can that be a problem? Not enough snow? Yeah i can get that but too much? What are they doing up there? I get a free pass for Mt Hutt included with work so might see if i can venture up there for a few days. It's a good road trip away. About a 6-7 hour drive across some sketchy icy roads but might well be worth a visit. Might have to get in good with a few guys in town who own their own helicopters. Now that would be pretty frickin sweet!

I hear that the UK is experiencing some awesome weather at the moment too. I am oddly really missing summer. I'm not a hot weather kinda guy and after a few days of heat like it to cool down again. Which is why i love the UK because we very rarely get a real long string of really hot weather. This year, apart from a brief warm period when we first got to NZ, we have had back to back winters. I am really missing being able to sit in my sisters garden with a cold beer long into the evening, talking about shit and eating one of Harrys legendary BBQs. I miss that so much. Have been thinking about home a lot this week. I have got to a point in the story that I'm writing which is really reminding me of my family and all my friends. I've been all alone this week too as Kate has worked a seven day stretch and it all adds up to me just really missing my mum, my sisters and the rest of my family and friends. I want you all to know guys that i am thinking of you and that i love you all millions.

Anyway guys, chat soon.

Peace

D

XXXX

Lost some shine

2009-05-29T19:11:00.001-07:00

In my last blog entry i finished with a question, why am i a pessimist? Well, i got my answer. It just seems that when good stuff happens to me there is always a rebuttal. Something not so good to counteract it all. Since i found out about my job offer i have been prancing around sniffing the proverbial roses and generally feeling a million dollars (Kiwi not American). On Thursday though i got dropped a little bit back down to earth. Not completely taken down a peg or two but it has certainly taken some of the shine off getting the job.

I went out on Thursday night for my weekly games of poker and met up with Hamish (the guy who let me queue jump on my interview day and pretty much secure my job). I was psyched to see him but didn't want to seem too excited about getting the job just in case he didn't. I thanked him again for letting me jump the queue with him and offered him a drink. He declined and asked if i had heard anything from the ski resorts. I told him that i had heard from both of my interviews. The rentals people had phoned me that day and told me that although i had been unsuccessful they wanted me to be on the standby crew in case anyone dropped out and they also gave my name to the guy who runs the rentals at the Remarkables resort. I told them i already had a job in the shop which the guy seemed genuinely excited about. Hamish said that he hadn't heard anything and that after i left he still waited 4 hours before he got interviewed! I asked him why he waited so long and he just shrugged. Apparently the girls organising the lobby had accidentally crossed him off the list, thinking that he had already interviewed. He said that by the time he got his interview he was pissed off and so where the interviewers. He said he tried but he could tell that the interviewers weren't that bothered anymore. I felt really bad but when i told him this he said i shouldn't be as he had applied to different departments anyway so it wouldn't have mattered. I still feel bad though. Hamish is super timid anyway but if i had seen him after my interviews i would've probably encouraged him to go see why he hadn't been called. He played it down saying that he had a few other jobs lined up but I'm not so sure he wasn't inwardly gutted. I offered him a drink again but he declined.

Further shine was rubbed off later that night when i went to the other poker tournament at the Surreal bar. It's usually the best organised tourney in town but this and last week it was totally spoilt by drunken new folk. I had an Aussie girl on my table who was out of her tree! She didn't really have a clue what she was doing and just sat there dropping C bombs and insulting everyone. She looked rough as too. She had so many facial piercings she looked more like a Christmas tree than a person! She was there with a few guys and i got chatting to one of them. He was from the UK and seemed slightly less irritating than Xmas face girl. I asked if they were in town for the season, secretly hoping they were just passing but he said they lived there and just got jobs at Coronet Peak! I couldn't believe it. How the hell could these two Doosh bags get a job up there and Hamish not? I sat and sulked for a bit until he asked if i skied or snowboarded. I know there is a friendly rivalry between skiers and boarders and could tell this guy was a boarder from a mile away. I told him i skied which caused Xmas face girl to unload a barrage of abuse. The guy who runs the tournament asked her to leave but she just abused him so i decided i had had enough and along with my friend Cameron we chucked our chips in and went to the bar. I got chatting to a few of the regulars and we all stood around moaning about all the new Doosh bags that were in town. I'm just so glad they don't work in the shop at Coronet. They might be cool when they are sober but i can't imagine that Xmas face girl is gonna last long in Q town before someone takes offence and knocks her out if she carries on like that. The town is mostly chilled but there are a lot of reckless drinkers who get themselves in trouble. A few of the guys at poker are all bouncers and i smile at hearing their stories from drunken evictions of dicks from their clubs and pubs. I wouldn't mess with these guys! They look like the forward line for the All Blacks! Huge Moari dudes but nice as pie. Good poker players too.

I'm still super psyched about my job though. Apparently over 5000 people applied to work in the resorts this year! On my open day over 400 people applied for the 40 jobs left, so looking at it that way, i did pretty good. Kate got her ski pass yesterday too so she is amped and can't wait for the season to start. She has come along in leaps and bounds with her skiing and in Japan, at times, looked like a real skier. Well, until she fell and cracked her head which knocked her confidence. She has a brand new helmet for this season and it feels good that she is so looking forward to skiing in a few weeks. I have always worried that she only skis to keep me happy and that she worries that she holds me back when we ski together. She doesn't though and i love just taking it mellow so she can keep up. She gets tired quickly so then i get to go off and ski all the gnarly runs on my own. If she keeps up her current trend of improvement, by the end of this season she'll be flying.

We sprung a leak in our apartment yesterday. It has been really cold this week, bottoming out at -5 degrees the other night. I feared we had a burst pipe but the management company sent us a plumber straight away and it turned out to just be a leaky feed pipe to the toilet. It was in our spare bedroom too so no harm done. We use it as a store room for a lot of our winter gear but nothing got too wet.

Right well i better get back to getting dinner ready. Kate is working a 7 day stretch so i have brought the biggest joint of NZ lamb for a roast tonight. It's been marinading in a mint glaze for a few days and is going to be awesome! Chat soon guys

Peace

D

XXXX

At last!!

2009-05-26T19:29:00.000-07:00

I guess bad things happen for a reason. Call it fate or destiny perhaps but for the last 6 weeks i have felt completely useless. All those job interviews and consequent refusals really knocked me and made me feel pretty worthless. If they hadn't have happened though i may not have just got my dream job. Yes, that's right i finally got a job. And not just any job either but the very first job i applied for and the very reason i came to Q town, to work in the ski resorts. I start in a few weeks at Coronet Peak in the shop. Seems my improvised sales pitch about gloves made an impression and my second interview yesterday must've been good. I got the call on Monday that i was hoping for, to come in for a second interview. The same guy, the little Japanese dude called Toshi, did the interview and it just seemed like we were buddies. I felt totally relaxed and we just chatted. Of course i had to self promote myself a little bit but i had a lot more time to prepare this time so threw in lots of "reliable" and "flexible" type phrases. I think he must have seen my enthusiasm and how much i wanted to be working in the resort. I left the interview feeling good, not exactly confident but not the usual feeling of doom that i feel. You know, like when you do an exam at school and walk away convinced you ballsed it up. No, i felt good. Toshi had explained a lot more about the job and the various perks, some of which i knew and some that i hadn't. It made me really want the job even more which of course had the effect of making me pretty sure there was no way i was going to get it. I spent the rest of the afternoon groaning and sighing as my stupid brain replayed all the amazing things about the job that i was going to miss because it was sure i wasn't going to get it. I went to poker last night and had to drink myself to distraction. It was only a temporary reprieve though as it was back in my mind first thing this morning.

When Toshi called i panicked a bit and as i jumped off the sofa i lost reception on my phone causing his voice to turn into Stephen Hawkings. It prolonged the agony for just a few more seconds as i made him repeat what he had said. When he told me i had got the job i damn near jizzed in my pants and jumped off the balcony! I was/am so stoked! It has been a dream of mine to work/live in a ski resort for years and i am shocked that it all worked out. I get a ski pass which saves me $1200! I get free transport to and from the mountain! I get discounts in town and on the mountain! And i get to do a nationally recognised customer service course! But best of all, I get to ski my ass off. I am over the frickin moon!

Kate was here on her lunch break and i think as anxious as i was. She flipped too when i gave her the thumbs up. I think she is super relieved as it means i will be out of the flat and away from all the Internet porn. I'm super relieved as it means she will stop hassling me and urging me to apply for the part time job in Pumpkin Patch or the Japanese souvenir shop in town.

We're out tonight for a few celebratory drinks and a game of poker. I really hope i bump into Hamish as i owe that guy a few drinks! I need to also say thank you to everyone who has been sending me positive vibes from all over the world. Be it an email, a text or a message on Facebook. Thanks guys. It means a lot to me to know i am loved. Fuck, i feel like I'm receiving an oscar!

Man, just when life seems to be throwing you a few curve balls, you hit a home run! Life is good. Why am I a pessimist?

Peace

D

XXXX

Self promotion? Uh oh...................

2009-05-22T18:08:00.000-07:00

I just this minute got back from the open interview day for the last few jobs left up in the ski resort. Well, i got home then went for a run to vent my frustration, oh and had a shower after. So, here i am. The interview day started at 10am and was being held in the Queenstown resort college. I got there just before 10, parked up Biff and was surprised to see a deserted street. I had thought there would be loads of people milling about but it was dead. I started walking into the college grounds, rounded the corner and was greeted by the longest queue of people i have ever seen, and I've been to Disneyland! There was easily 300 people all standing out in the cold gripping their CVs. My heart sunk but i was so glad i decided at the last minute to bring my big winter coat and my gloves with me. As i begun to walk past the entrance and the front of the queue it felt like i was being tortured. Being shown the finish line before the 20 mile race, having to walk 20 miles to the start line to just run all the bloody way back. As i neared the line though i saw a familiar face. A few weeks ago i came second in a poker tournament, eventually losing to this young guy called Hamish. We had talked as we played and sort of got to know each other. Since then i had played a few times with him and thought he was a nice guy. He spotted me and beckoned me over. We both joked at how crazy this all was and were both shocked to see this many people. I groaned at the prospect of standing outside in the freezing cold for hours, to then wait inside for ages to then fluff up my interview and get rejected. Not my ideal Saturday really. I said my goodbyes to Hamish but as i started to leave he grabbed my sleeve and held me in place. I looked around and the people behind didn't seem to say a word. I'm not generally a queue jumper but Hamish assured me that everyone was doing it. I thought i had been busted though as some official looking guy in a Coronet Peak uniform started asking me if i was cold. I made petty conversation hoping that he hadn't twigged that i had magically appeared at the front of the queue somehow. We went in and filled in forms with our references and contact details, handed them in and then waited in the lobby to be called. After another 20 minutes or so i got called. I thanked Hamish and wished him all the best for the interviews. We were to have 2. One for our first choice and then another for our second.

I got called in by this little Japanese guy for my second choice job first, retail assistant. Probably the only job i had the chops for, having had some retail experience from my Homebase days. I sat down and he informed me i had 5 minutes to wow him. I contemplated getting up and doing a dance or something. I needed to make an impression after all. I sat there and told him why i wanted the job, why i was in Q town. He then told me to pick up one of the 3 objects on the table and sell them to him. There were a pair of goggles, a pair of gloves and a helmet. I picked up the gloves and tried my hardest to imagine being in a sales situation. I did OK. I asked him lots of questions about what he was looking for in a glove, what type of rider he was. He said the main reason for picking the gloves was for warmth. I then produced my own glove liners from my ski coat and said he could always get these. He seemed impressed by my sales pitch but then noticed that this was my second choice job. His body language dropped big time and he asked me why. I spilled some bullshit about being keen to get into ski tech stuff but had the retail stuff to fall back on. Not sure if he bought it. And that was that. I got shown the door and made my way back to the lobby.

I met up with Hamish again but only had a chance to say "They made me try to sell them a pair of gloves!" before i was called again for my rentals assistant interview. Everyone around Hamish overheard me and there were several whispers and shocked looks. Rentals was my first choice because i do actually want to get into the more tech side of skiing. I have good equipment knowledge and know I'd kick ass at it. This interview was less structured. I basically sat there and was asked to promote my self, strengths and all the good stuff. This is a huge problem for a pessimist like me. It's not that i don't know my worth, i do. It's just hard for me to express that. I hate the idea of coming across cocky or arrogant. Thank the lord for my sense of humour because i dropped a few witty lines in which had them laughing, which relaxed me. I tried hard but as i left the interview i felt a bit dirty. You know, like i had sold out. How the frig can you truly evaluate someone in just 5 mins? They say that most people decide if they like you or not in the first 20 seconds! That means that after, pauses, them asking questions and me thinking of witty replies i probably only had 3 and a half minutes to turn them on to me. I'm not that person. I'm not one of those loud American types who truly believe that they are awesome. I know my worth but i'm not arrogant and sure as hell don't like promoting the fact. I'm proud of my achievements but don't brag about them. I hope i don't anyway. I like to think of myself as humble and modest. I told them this but what good is that to them?

I looked for Hamish as i left to thank him again but didn't see him so snuck out of a back door. My god it was more like frickin pop idol or Britains got talent than a job interview! It wasn't fun and it's something i don't ever want to do again. I'm just so glad i didn't have to wait for ages to feel like a unwanted Christmas present. Such a pointless and stupid exercise! I know that it is probably the only way to get through a huge number of people but how the hell can someone get a fair chance in just 5 minutes? You have to stand out but does that mean the person who says similar things to me is going to get the job over me because he had a bright pink coat on? I just wish i had kept to my original plan of doing a striptease. Now, that would've made me stand out from the rest! "Hey i know we should give the job to Darrell." "whose that?" "you know. The striptease guy!" "Oh yeah. Er..........He's in jail." In hindsight it was probably for the best that i kept little Darrell in my jeans.

Other news. We have new neighbours. I was online the other day chatting to Kate at work and joked that they were 4 fit Swedish swimsuit models. I hadn't actually seen them but i wasn't far off the truth! It's actually 2 fit Swedish swimsuit models! Well, i haven't actually spoken to them yet so until i do, don't mess with the fantasy. I'm thinking there will be more of them too as the flat next door is 3 bedroom i think. Kate thinks their boyfriends will be along soon. Doh! I'm sure i will bump into them soon enough. I just hope i'm dressed when i do!

We went for a vibration plate training session the other day. Only because it was free and that the ad made all these claims of how it is the best thing for weight loss since cancer. It didn't actually say that. We went over there and met the big buff guy who took our medical histories and made us define our goals and ambitions. The actual vibro plate thing was way weird! You just stand on it in certain positions and your muscles have to work harder to keep you balanced. You use 30 muscles to just stand still apparently. Standing still on a vibrating plate that is constantly knocking you off balance makes those muscles work like crazy! So we did about a 20 minute session and oh my god it was tiring. I have been running around 20km a week for the last few weeks but this was harder! My legs felt like i had just climbed a mountain with a mini cooper strapped to my back and my pockets filled with concrete. Kate liked it and nearly bought a membership. I talked her into going a few times casually first just to make sure she really likes it before outlaying a big wedge of cash.

We saw Biffs sister the other day too! We had to go to the supermarket and when we came out laden with shopping Biffs sister was parked right next to him. The exact same campervan. Biffs reg is PZ 1968 and his sisters was PZ 1912. Biff was in a bit better condition and has been pimped out with tinted windows and meaty wheels but it looked really cute to see the two Econovans next to each other.

The only other thing this week really was our further domination of the poker prizes available in town. Thursday night saw Kate come second and me third at the Surreal tournament (one of the best in town). Sweet, another bar tab in the bank. It is funny how the town is changing. It is still pretty quiet but we have noticed a few new faces at poker. The odd new guy trying his luck and usually getting smashed and going home early but a lot of new, drunk, young snowboarder types. Cocky little guys who mess up the peace. At Surreal this week there were a few loud Americans from Utah who spoilt it a bit for one table apparently. I think it was probably just down to booze. People forget that a lot of Americans can't drink until they are 21 so still think it's a huge novelty to get wrecked by 10pm and act like a doosh bag. The rest of us more experienced drinkers wait until at least 10.30pm! Amateurs.

So i very much doubt i will get a job based on todays futile efforts at self promotion. If i do get the job i will feel a bit of a sell out but i'm sure i can live with that. I will let you know of my rejection in my next blog entry. Sigh.

Peace

D

XXXX